FabSwingers.com forum: Dating and swinging

By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

As a single male that has been in the scene 7years I wonder how people would go about dating within the scene. Looking for someone who is interested in longer term relationships is very different than looking for someone who wants to just hook up. I know that you can meet people through traditional means but it’s way more difficult. And tips or advice would be greatly appreciated

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Good luck with that. I've been trying for quite some time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’d think wouldnt you. Same minds, getting together? But no. Extremely hard to find on this site.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

I found Paul in a coffee shop and he introduced me to swinging so I would say keep an open mind as you never know what opportunities are out there.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I found Paul in a coffee shop and he introduced me to swinging so I would say keep an open mind as you never know what opportunities are out there."

I definitely am but again if you meet someone and they aren’t interested is it something that you would be willing to walk away from?

How soon do you bring it up?

Im open minded about it but would rather meet someone who is already in the scene

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"You’d think wouldnt you. Same minds, getting together? But no. Extremely hard to find on this site.

Yeah it seems nearly impossible. As a single male trying to stand out and be interested in a relationship is not easy at all.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Find a notch that I compatible with both

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

It is obviously not easy but it happens. There are lots of proper couples out there that have met on Fab and quite a few married. I went to a Fab wedding last year and a few months ago played with another married couple that met on Fab. Not sure there is any great advice. Just got to get out there and meet as many people as possible in normal swinging world and one day might find it turns into more.

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By *ransgirl7TV/TS
over a year ago

South Devon

Yes, in the same boat here. Looking for a guy who’s open to swinging and naturism but can also accept my demure side, have deep conversation and give good cuddle!

I also like weird jazz - so that’s another stumbling block haha

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"It is obviously not easy but it happens. There are lots of proper couples out there that have met on Fab and quite a few married. I went to a Fab wedding last year and a few months ago played with another married couple that met on Fab. Not sure there is any great advice. Just got to get out there and meet as many people as possible in normal swinging world and one day might find it turns into more. "

I know it happens I’ve seen it myself. I definitely hope it will happen for me but seems like most women in my area at least aren’t interested at all.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

I know it happens I’ve seen it myself. I definitely hope it will happen for me but seems like most women in my area at least aren’t interested at all."

I often recoil against this advice as not needed for swinging but in this context group socials where you can meet lots of people might be a good idea. Get out there and network…:

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

I know it happens I’ve seen it myself. I definitely hope it will happen for me but seems like most women in my area at least aren’t interested at all.

I often recoil against this advice as not needed for swinging but in this context group socials where you can meet lots of people might be a good idea. Get out there and network…:"

If you check my verifications you’ll see that I manage to network quite well. But everyone seems to be coupled up or not interested in coupling up. We shall see what the future brings

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

I know it happens I’ve seen it myself. I definitely hope it will happen for me but seems like most women in my area at least aren’t interested at all.

I often recoil against this advice as not needed for swinging but in this context group socials where you can meet lots of people might be a good idea. Get out there and network…:

If you check my verifications you’ll see that I manage to network quite well. But everyone seems to be coupled up or not interested in coupling up. We shall see what the future brings "

Ok sorry I hadn’t looked. Well fingers crossed works out for you one day. Guess it’s not something you can predict. It just happens.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

"I found Paul in a coffee shop and he introduced me to swinging so I would say keep an open mind as you never know what opportunities are out there.

I definitely am but again if you meet someone and they aren’t interested is it something that you would be willing to walk away from?

How soon do you bring it up?

Im open minded about it but would rather meet someone who is already in the scene "

He was open about being a swinger and it was me that was intrigued and wanted to explore the lifestyle. Would I walk away from the lifestyle if he wanted to stop...absolutely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's hard. as you'd need to have boundaries set unless you want to be a swinging couple with a relationship. I keep my single dating separate to this site as the proverbial can of worms would be opened and drama llamas aren't my thing.... Good luck

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

It happens

Although I've found mostly guys say they want more but don't x

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"It happens

Although I've found mostly guys say they want more but don't x "

Sad to say but most guys will say anything for a shag

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"it's hard. as you'd need to have boundaries set unless you want to be a swinging couple with a relationship. I keep my single dating separate to this site as the proverbial can of worms would be opened and drama llamas aren't my thing.... Good luck

See I would quite like to be part of a swinging couple and and that be a relationship

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By *ope_kisses22Couple
over a year ago

Hyde

This site is hardddddds work.....

We found each other on a kik chat room leading up to a swing event at a club. I think you'll probably have more luck at socials and events.

Kat's

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"This site is hardddddds work.....

We found each other on a kik chat room leading up to a swing event at a club. I think you'll probably have more luck at socials and events.

Kat's "

I’m quite active in events. Just seems like my area is too quiet for fab.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

I must try the crowland social, if it still runs.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I must try the crowland social, if it still runs."

Fingers crossed it is for you the socials round my way are non existent. Everything is an hour plus away

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

Don’t look for it and it will come. I was happily single, living my best life, no intention of ever being in a relationship again when I met someone for no strings fun. Just over a decade later we have two kids and a house together and totally in love. Neither of us saw that coming at the time.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

I’m polyamorous, found my two male partners from swinging - both at the same club - and what did it was smalltalk. Their faces both do this gloriously sexy thing when they are talking about their passions and it’s the most attractive thing on the planet. So look for hookups but do the smalltalk thing too, create a space for magic to happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m polyamorous, found my two male partners from swinging - both at the same club - and what did it was smalltalk. Their faces both do this gloriously sexy thing when they are talking about their passions and it’s the most attractive thing on the planet. So look for hookups but do the smalltalk thing too, create a space for magic to happen. "

Agree. You have to meet and see the whites of folks eyes. Unfortunately people rarely meet on this site. Social dates should be encouraged. It's only a date for a coffee to see how the chemistry manifests itself. You have to go on dates, say yes more often. Online dating is shite, I've been on all the apps and sites over the years. People are far too quick to dismiss someone based on their online profile which is just saying they aren't very good at making an online profile but might be your ideal partner..

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By *r SensualMan
over a year ago

London

It’s definitely possible OP…. I was a single guy here for close to 3 years until I met my girlfriend at Chams last year, and followed up with a message after the event off the back one of her forum posts and here we are now and couldn’t be happier. Albeit neither were actively looking for a relationship at that time.

As others have said, things do change when you enter a swinging relationship as there’s boundaries you’ll need to think about. But for now I’d say just enjoy the lifestyle for what it is and the woman of your dreams would come along when you least expect it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have realised over the years that having LTRs and being in the swinging lifestyle are both important to me. A connection with intimacy and vulnerability comes with an expectation of complete monogamy for many people in normal dating which complicates things for me.

As for hints and tips ... organised socials and clubs are the best way I have found so far to meet people in this lifestyle and get to know them. From these and from coffee dates where I have not taken things further I have made friendships and therefore widened my social circle.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I have realised over the years that having LTRs and being in the swinging lifestyle are both important to me. A connection with intimacy and vulnerability comes with an expectation of complete monogamy for many people in normal dating which complicates things for me.

Yeah similar situation. I’m active in the club scene(mainly Jaydees) and have a good network of friends. Just something isn’t clicking for me right now.

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By *unniebee1970Woman
over a year ago

The Hive

The search continues...

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By *exymarvelMan
over a year ago

cardiff

If you are on a swingers site and find someone single that you click with, surely you progress to swinging couple as you are both into the lifestyle

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"If you are on a swingers site and find someone single that you click with, surely you progress to swinging couple as you are both into the lifestyle"

You’d think so the last person I was seeing regularly ended things when it got serious. Seem to attract hot wife’s atm

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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago

somewhere sweet and sour

It can happen.

But it may not... oooft I've gone all philisophical haha

If you do find someone then it takes an age to find out about them in the real world. Can't just be about having a relationship that blends into the swinging world first. Ypu need to get to know that person... warts and all....

Many females I've chatted to are on here because of crappy endless dates that lead nowhere or have had just shit luck in previous relationships that they cba anymore to try and find that love.

I've seen some forum threads about dating etc so perhaps look at them and see what others say. Plenty of people actually looking. Good luck OP

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"It can happen.

But it may not... oooft I've gone all philisophical haha

Many females I've chatted to are on here because of crappy endless dates that lead nowhere or have had just shit luck in previous relationships that they cba anymore to try and find that love.

I've seen some forum threads about dating etc so perhaps look at them and see what others say. Plenty of people actually looking. Good luck OP

I searched and most weren’t that helpful.

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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago

somewhere sweet and sour

Oh. That is unfortunate then.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"Oh. That is unfortunate then.

Yeah it’s unfortunate but it’s just the way of the world

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

I've only ever met people that I've stayed with in a LTR/FLR through traditional methods. Anyone from the net just didn't suit Me.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"As a single male that has been in the scene 7years I wonder how people would go about dating within the scene. Looking for someone who is interested in longer term relationships is very different than looking for someone who wants to just hook up. I know that you can meet people through traditional means but it’s way more difficult. And tips or advice would be greatly appreciated "

Unless you have the body a Greek god with a 12" dick an the bank balance of Midas. You have no chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a tgurl socially then found her on here, hooked up with her. Then became friends and went on holiday then became a couple. Lived with her for two years then we split.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"It happens

Although I've found mostly guys say they want more but don't x

Sad to say but most guys will say anything for a shag

"
I'm a greedy girl....what I mean is they already have it... they then claim they want more.... but actually what they mean is they don't want to share the new toy...

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

It definitely happens, and usually when you least expect it. I never thought I'd meet someone when I was in hospital with a broken knee. We met through here, he eventually earned himself the right to come see me, once I got discharged, and the rest is history. We will be celebrating 5 years together this Halloween, and our relationship is continually evolving.

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By *heSofaDestroyersCouple
over a year ago

HereAndThere

We had chatted on here for four year without meeting and finally one day Mrs finally invited me over for a meet, few months later we got a couples profile and now we are engaged

So lucky that we can share our life and this lifestyle together

Never give up hope

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By *ilf and old fartCouple
over a year ago

Between Ely and Mildenhall

We met at a sex party in Corby 11 years ago that we had both gone to alone.

I (male) saw this goddess walk out into the garden and I was totally lost from that point. We chatted and it just happened from there.

We initially lived 125 miles apart but we saw each other at every opportunity that families and work allowed.

Once we were able to, we got our own place and have lived quite happily together since. We still swing although her health has put boundaries on that now.

When we met we had both had bad relationships that had put us off of getting involved with someone other than just for sex but something clicked and amazingly we have worked.

(And She's still a goddess to me)

Never give up on meeting someone as it could happen when you are least expecting it.

Keep your mind open even if the person you have met doesn't meet your preconceived ideas of the ideal date/partner for you. They could be the one that really floats your boat

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By *ilf and old fartCouple
over a year ago

Between Ely and Mildenhall

"I must try the crowland social, if it still runs.

Fingers crossed it is for you the socials round my way are non existent. Everything is an hour plus away "

They may be an hour away, but their could be a single woman there who is in the same position as you that only lives 5 miles from you, but you'll never know if you don't go

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By *ensible lady 1960Woman
over a year ago

Near Bishop Auckland.

hard to find in reality.let alone on here.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"hard to find in reality.let alone on here."

Yeah, it is a real struggle

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

Unless you have the body a Greek god with a 12" dick an the bank balance of Midas. You have no chance"

You mean I have to drop my standards?

Actually I'd get a bit scared of 12 inches, 9 is much better

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"We met at a sex party in Corby 11 years ago that we had both gone to alone.

I (male) saw this goddess walk out into the garden and I was totally lost from that point. We chatted and it just happened from there.

We initially lived 125 miles apart but we saw each other at every opportunity that families and work allowed.

Once we were able to, we got our own place and have lived quite happily together since. We still swing although her health has put boundaries on that now.

When we met we had both had bad relationships that had put us off of getting involved with someone other than just for sex but something clicked and amazingly we have worked.

(And She's still a goddess to me)

Never give up on meeting someone as it could happen when you are least expecting it.

Keep your mind open even if the person you have met doesn't meet your preconceived ideas of the ideal date/partner for you. They could be the one that really floats your boat

That's just beautiful

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By *eductiveEyesKillerThighsWoman
over a year ago

Nowhere & Everywhere

You certainly can find your soul mate on here.

April '22 I was in Wales for work, and it so happened that is was the Swansea Social whilst I was there. So I went along, knowing a couple of people from the club scene.

I sat down and was instantly offered a drink by this stranger. We didnt speak much as I was chatting to others. I said my goodbyes to everyone at the end of the night and gave this stranger a hug to say thanks for the drink.

Fast forward to the next day, I was in the local Costa meeting an old school friend. She left. I was coming out of the loo and who should walk in, but the stranger from last night! He said did I want to stay for another drink, I was apprehensive, but said OK. 2 hours later we left, with each others numbers.

We chatted over text, and I went back over to Swansea to see him... (and also another guy-the less said about that one, the better!).

It turned out to be the best meet of my life. In every which way possible.

For the rest of the year we met up mainly for club events, just as very good friends.

Something just really clicked between us earlier this year, and we decided to give it a go as a proper couple.

July he gave me the key to his house... and now he's talking about relocating to Norfolk. So I'd say its pretty serious

So yes, you can find your matching piece on Fab.

Sometimes it finds you when you least expect it. Sometimes it's a slow burn. Sometimes you find it in the strangest of places!

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"You certainly can find your soul mate on here.

April '22 I was in Wales for work, and it so happened that is was the Swansea Social whilst I was there. So I went along, knowing a couple of people from the club scene.

We chatted over text, and I went back over to Swansea to see him... (and also another guy-the less said about that one, the better!).

It turned out to be the best meet of my life. In every which way possible.

For the rest of the year we met up mainly for club events, just as very good friends.

Something just really clicked between us earlier this year, and we decided to give it a go as a proper couple.

July he gave me the key to his house... and now he's talking about relocating to Norfolk. So I'd say its pretty serious

So yes, you can find your matching piece on Fab.

Sometimes it finds you when you least expect it. Sometimes it's a slow burn. Sometimes you find it in the strangest of places!"

This sounds awesome and I’m wish you all the best for the future x

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

" I definitely hope it will happen for me but seems like most women in my area at least aren’t interested at all."

How far afield do you look ?

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

" I definitely hope it will happen for me but seems like most women in my area at least aren’t interested at all.

How far afield do you look ?"

Currently I’m looking at 20 miles. I would hope to meet someone in reasonable travelling distance. I’m quite lucky in the aspect that the m25 is 10 minutes from my house so I can cover around 25 miles in 30 mins. I’d be open to meeting someone further afield but logistically it gets harder over 30 miles away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met my ex husband on here.

Our marriage didn't work out but I knew I was I trouble after the first meet.

We love to think we actually control these things but we don't not really. Yes we can make a choice but you like who you like.

Sometimes you just meet someone and you know it's different for whatever reason. It can happen and does it is just not easy to combine the two.

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By *tagmeupMan
over a year ago

wirral

Struggling like hell . I do ok on vanilla sites but i want a non vanilla gf, ideally one who would like to play stag / vixen / hotwife. Am happy to travel for the right person

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless you have the body a Greek god with a 12" dick an the bank balance of Midas. You have no chance"

This is simply not true.

Most women I know would run a mile from a 12” dick, including myself.

All most of us are looking for is the same as we’d want in the vanilla world with the added benefit of this lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met on this site wasn't really looking for anything serious either of us but we just clicked and now we are 2 and a half years later we live together and we are engaged. So it does happen

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

Unless you have the body a Greek god with a 12" dick an the bank balance of Midas. You have no chance

This is simply not true.

Most women I know would run a mile from a 12” dick, including myself.

All most of us are looking for is the same as we’d want in the vanilla world with the added benefit of this lifestyle."

Glad to see that some people are. I’m still hoping but it’s seams impossible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm glad you have started this topic and good to see other's point of view and everyone's expectations on this.

I joined fab with an intention to find a long term partner than just for sex. I recently started attending events to meet people in general and maybe the one will come along. Let's see!

Happy Halloween!

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

[Removed by poster at 31/10/23 18:19:16]

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By *heekyFlirtyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Stockport

We met a singles on fab

Mrs j said your not for me

We kept chatting

She re wrote my profile and thought, hang on , hes actually ok

And now we are now married

People ask what changed ,

The answer , we had sex ! and never looked back

So it can happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that's the holy grail ; it seems impossible to find someone regular who I actually like and want to spend time with doing normal things, dates, restaurants, dancing, weekends away and also to explore here! ...one day...maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi,

Single guy here so know what the guy is up against.

I read ladies profiles, many are comprehensive.

I was surprised that so many single women have negative experiences.

It’s best to meet in person and be yourself.

If they say no, they have actually done both a favour. No point being with someone who is not keen or very different from you. Enjoy the journey.

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By *Cups32Woman
over a year ago

Colne

I've actually been approached more on dating sites re: open relationships than here. Both guys however wanted to run before they could walk whereas I'd see it best to build a solid relationship first.

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By *arryandhedgehogCouple
over a year ago

Thurrock

While difficult it isn’t impossible we actually met via fab and have been in a relationship since. There’s also a surprising amount of people open to it using general dating apps/sites just be honest and up front

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I've actually been approached more on dating sites re: open relationships than here. Both guys however wanted to run before they could walk whereas I'd see it best to build a solid relationship first. "

That surprises me but I guess some people will say anything on dating apps

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

for alot swinging and dating dont mix but for some it does ... me i dont think it works yes sure you can fall in love anywhere and those that do are not looking for it ...

remember you only hear the good stories on these forums no one talks of the fails and horror stories..

and for guys lets go back to basics how hard is it for you to meet women to swing yep for 99% very hard as there are so few single women so think how few are looking to date ...look at these forums where all the dating is mentioned a forums that is tiny 1% of the site add in how many women are looking for relationships then you end up with a very very tiny pool of women for a very large pool of men wanting relationships..

then theres the why are you dating is it to find love or is it to swing and sex thats something that will eat away at some ..

i do think there should be a dating section so those looking have a place to go ... but apart from that i dont think it works yes i know a few who are still together but i know alot lot more who wish they never did it and no longer together thats my views however wish all luck women will find it easy men just like swinging will find it a pipedream

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"for alot swinging and dating dont mix but for some it does ... me i dont think it works yes sure you can fall in love anywhere and those that do are not looking for it ...

remember you only hear the good stories on these forums no one talks of the fails and horror stories..

then theres the why are you dating is it to find love or is it to swing and sex thats something that will eat away at some ..

I know what I want but I know it’s a pipe dream. I’d love to meet someone who is up for doing the club scene with and also cool with chilling in doors and watching Netflix. I know that’s asking for a lot

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

i think if you stop looking for it and enjoy the scene as a whole then you have more chance of finding love than actively looking for it anyone can fall in love anywhere we all know that but looking for it will just eat away at you ... go enjoy clubs and socials and parties your a attractive man who knows what will happen .... love comes when you least expect it ... best of luck

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"i think if you stop looking for it and enjoy the scene as a whole then you have more chance of finding love than actively looking for it anyone can fall in love anywhere we all know that but looking for it will just eat away at you ... go enjoy clubs and socials and parties your a attractive man who knows what will happen .... love comes when you least expect it ... best of luck

Oh I am enjoying the scene. Off to Manchester next weekend for a party. Trying to network and get to know people. Fab is a different beast completely though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I knew the answer! The guys all seem to be very ok far away or wanting one night things.

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By *evilinherCouple
over a year ago

varied

I find it more than likely to happen when you’re not looking for it. I met N through here. We was just planning on being club buddies. We very quickly discovered it was more than that and I haven’t been happier. You can find someone on here.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I wish I knew the answer! The guys all seem to be very ok far away or wanting one night things.

That’s a shame for sure

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

The main reason I am staying here is a hope to find a girlfriend who are ok with dating bi guy and up for swinging lifestyle. Not much luck but there is always a hope

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By *ysonfuryMan
over a year ago

Stockport

I've had no look as yes find a fwb that I can enjoy the scene with, will keep plugging away though

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By *sLillyMrWolfeCouple
over a year ago

near you...

I would say its difficult unless you are looking for an open relationship. We are here, after all, to hook up with Other People.

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By *tagmeupMan
over a year ago

wirral

"I would say its difficult unless you are looking for an open relationship. We are here, after all, to hook up with Other People."

Id like a relationship with a nice lady but am more than happy for her to continue her fab life, would just like to enjoy it with her. Besides, what makes some guys jealous makes me horny haha

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I would say its difficult unless you are looking for an open relationship. We are here, after all, to hook up with Other People."

Exactly what I’m looking for. Don’t think I could do another vanilla monogamous relationship. I just want what all my friends have but it will come eventually I guess

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

you have to date a woman first before you get to shag them ! haven t you learnt anything yet or just Naive ?

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"you have to date a woman first before you get to shag them ! haven t you learnt anything yet or just Naive ?"

Just seems all I find is hotwifes. The pool of single women who aren’t in a relationship already and would be open to one is tiny

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I think this is a natural place to look to date someone who's intrested in continuing the lifestyle as a couple.

You putting this thread up will help. Basically (intentional or not) you're setting out your stall to lots of potential future partners.

Look at the profiles because some people on here do state there are looking to date too. And be clear about it on you're profile. We're all adults here and should be able to cope with two concepts at once. So you can put your looking for NSA experiences but also open to dating with the right person.

Also maybe look out for other threads about dating and relationships on the forums. You may find someone you're intrested in who has likewise expressed an intrest to date. Likewise you can also express your intrest on other threads where appropriate to advertise yourself.

Lots of people do find love on here. I have and I wasn't even looking for it.

Naturally it's always going to be difficult because the selection on here is limited and most people in the everyday world aren't swingers. If your going through the vanilla route its different and more difficult in my previous experience. You get a sort of chicken and egg kind of scenario. As you don't want to come across as all you're intrested in is sex however you don't want to get too deep in before you have a conversation about sexual non monogamy. I think people are adults and hopefully you can get to an appropriate stage where you can talk a sex and partners early on without pressure or sounding like your pressurising to wards sex. Just when appropriate have a light hearted conversation about maybe previous partners, experience, general attitudes including toward no monogamy. Keep it general instead of focus on you. Make sure you're open and honest with what they ask you. Use it to gauge their openness. And that will help you know if there is an openness to that in a relationship. Also the ability to communicate openly and comfortably about their desires is really important in a relationship that swings (to be fair that fairly important in a vanilla one too). In my experience if you have built good rapport and trust women can tell you're not a creep and are genuinely not judgemental (the concept of swinging and non monogamy is a lot more main stream these days). In my experience of dating there's been a couple of women who it was not for but they still remained in contact and didn't shun me. Still liked me as an individual and respected my way of life. Also with online dating you can use the data and text to give you a clue on their openness to this sort of thing. Some sites even help match people by sexaul preferences and veiws on monogamy.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

"you have to date a woman first before you get to shag them ! haven t you learnt anything yet or just Naive ?

Just seems all I find is hotwifes. The pool of single women who aren’t in a relationship already and would be open to one is tiny "

Why are you only looking at single women, given polyamory exists?

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By *rimson_RoseWoman
over a year ago

Tamworth

I think you’ll find it’s not something many people are looking for - or perhaps it’s just not openly. But the number of couples who’ve met on here suggests many would be willing to pursue a relationship if they found the right person.

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By *ethefabtwoCouple
over a year ago

coventry

Loving the stories of how people came together on the scene. Always find that first step intruiging.Keep it going

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By *onyHoveMan
over a year ago

Brighton

"Yes, in the same boat here. Looking for a guy who’s open to swinging and naturism but can also accept my demure side, have deep conversation and give good cuddle!

I also like weird jazz - so that’s another stumbling block haha

The weird jazz is no stumbling block here. I'd see it as a big positive

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"Loving the stories of how people came together on the scene. Always find that first step intruiging.Keep it going"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met via the scene, not the fab scene but a kink based site. Our relationship developed from sex so it is possible.

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By *CLM87Woman
over a year ago

Derbyshire

I am a single looking to date.. its on my profile.. don't think I could ever go back to a vanilla relationship.

I think the difficulty lays:

For men: there aren't as many single women on here and so getting someone's attention and coming across genuine and sincere can be difficult

For women: wading through all the time wasters, those who aren't actually into swinging and those who are married.

It's been eye opening... especially the amount of people who clearly can't read.

Hopefully you will find your forever

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"you have to date a woman first before you get to shag them ! haven t you learnt anything yet or just Naive ?"

Do you

Thats news to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you have to date a woman first before you get to shag them ! haven t you learnt anything yet or just Naive ?"

That’s not true. Some guys I know don’t even bother going to a pub to get a woman. They use Tinder and at least 2 dozen similar apps.

Even in pubs now, people arranging hookups (that is 15 min onwards, not even a full one night stand) is not uncommon.

The rule is: there are no rules.

Whatever is mutually acceptable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've only ever met people that I've stayed with in a LTR/FLR through traditional methods. Anyone from the net just didn't suit Me."

LTR/FLR

Full meaning please

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I've only ever met people that I've stayed with in a LTR/FLR through traditional methods. Anyone from the net just didn't suit Me.

LTR/FLR

Full meaning please"

Long term relationship

Female lead relationship

I googled the latter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've only ever met people that I've stayed with in a LTR/FLR through traditional methods. Anyone from the net just didn't suit Me.

LTR/FLR

Full meaning please

Long term relationship

Female lead relationship

I googled the latter"

Thanks for the trouble.

I guessed what LTR was, but FLR threw me off.

Is FLR = bossy woman, or just where the lady tends to take the initiative.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"you have to date a woman first before you get to shag them ! haven t you learnt anything yet or just Naive ?

Just seems all I find is hotwifes. The pool of single women who aren’t in a relationship already and would be open to one is tiny

Why are you only looking at single women, given polyamory exists? "

I’ve considered this too. And I’d be open to it if the dynamic was right. But it’s a tough one to make work.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Don't think big so if you're able to achieve one of the two appreciate what you have figure out what you value the most....

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By *aughtynottsCouple
over a year ago

Outside Nottingham

I would imagine that's harder than trying to find vanilla partners outside the lifestyle most people are here for uncomplicated no strings sex not life partners however I have met couples that have continued relationships from swinging so I know it is possible.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I think everyone on here wants to date lol- the single people that is obviously.

As a one time gal or clubs only it’s harder and harder to find hot, decent guys who don’t wanna date and social x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Just stay honest with people, however you meet, concerning the type of relationships that you want. It's very difficult for single men full stop, to meet women and getting the compatibility right is tough for relationships. You can only increase the volume of people who you engage with to increase potential success. Get to know lots of swingers

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"Just stay honest with people, however you meet, concerning the type of relationships that you want. It's very difficult for single men full stop, to meet women and getting the compatibility right is tough for relationships. You can only increase the volume of people who you engage with to increase potential success. Get to know lots of swingers "

Yeah I’m all round the country at events working on networking. Did club 12 and 13 this weekend. I m getting my visibility up

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By *rs Butterfly.Woman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I have found this thread really interesting. I am also looking for a FWB situation but it's hard to find.

In an ideal world I want someone to go to clubs with and also do vanilla stuff like go on holiday together and chill with on weekends.

I can't find that in vanilla world and most men on Fab just want sex with no strings.

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By *atted_angelTV/TS
over a year ago

Manchester

Personally I like to keep the two separate!!!

Plus let's be honest a horny guy with his dick in his hand will literally say anything you'd want to hear and make all sorts of promises which he won't keep!!

If you want to date I'd probably look somewhere else not like tinder is any better haha xx

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Fab isn’t the place to look for a monogamous relationship, I don’t think. That’s not to say you might not find one; you might. But it’d be rare and unusual given the scene attracts those seeking non monogamy and/or NSA. I would never expect a man I met on Fab to offer monogamy, and if he did offer it I wouldn’t trust he meant it.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I have found this thread really interesting. I am also looking for a FWB situation but it's hard to find.

In an ideal world I want someone to go to clubs with and also do vanilla stuff like go on holiday together and chill with on weekends.

I can't find that in vanilla world and most men on Fab just want sex with no strings.

This is 100% what im looking for I would love to meet someone I can do the club scene with as im literally at clubs every other weekend, but also just to also do vanilla stuff with too.

Hopefully we both find the right person

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Not looking for total monogamy, I want someone I can share the lifestyle with and be someone’s main partner. Yes I know that asking a lot but I’m going to keep searching

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By *rs Butterfly.Woman
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

"I have found this thread really interesting. I am also looking for a FWB situation but it's hard to find.

In an ideal world I want someone to go to clubs with and also do vanilla stuff like go on holiday together and chill with on weekends.

I can't find that in vanilla world and most men on Fab just want sex with no strings.

This is 100% what im looking for I would love to meet someone I can do the club scene with as im literally at clubs every other weekend, but also just to also do vanilla stuff with too.

Hopefully we both find the right person "

I live in hope

I did have it for a while but sadly it fizzled out

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Not just those on Fab. That might be because many men on Fab are on other sites - nothing wrong with that, I'm also on POF.

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

You seem to be doing the right thing by getting yourself out there, socials, clubs etc and you have a decent profile.

Probably best just stick at it but know that the majority of ladies who show up to events like clubs, parties and weekends away are usually part of a couple but there are always the odd few single ladies attending.

Wish you luck.

Liz. x

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I have found this thread really interesting. I am also looking for a FWB situation but it's hard to find.

In an ideal world I want someone to go to clubs with and also do vanilla stuff like go on holiday together and chill with on weekends.

I can't find that in vanilla world and most men on Fab just want sex with no strings.

This is 100% what im looking for I would love to meet someone I can do the club scene with as im literally at clubs every other weekend, but also just to also do vanilla stuff with too.

Hopefully we both find the right person

I live in hope

I did have it for a while but sadly it fizzled out "

Don’t we all

Fingers crossed for you

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

You seem to be doing the right thing by getting yourself out there, socials, clubs etc and you have a decent profile.

Wish you luck.

Liz. x"

Thanks liz yeah I’m focusing on expanding my network. I wish that London had a better club scene. I spent so much time travelling to clubs it would be nice if there was decent club close to me

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Not looking for total monogamy, I want someone I can share the lifestyle with and be someone’s main partner. Yes I know that asking a lot but I’m going to keep searching "

I think you’re looking in the right place then

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

"I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Not just those on Fab. That might be because many men on Fab are on other sites - nothing wrong with that, I'm also on POF."

I don’t think I know what you mean

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Not looking for total monogamy, I want someone I can share the lifestyle with and be someone’s main partner. Yes I know that asking a lot but I’m going to keep searching

I think you’re looking in the right place then"

You’d think so but I’m not so sure

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

"I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Not looking for total monogamy, I want someone I can share the lifestyle with and be someone’s main partner. Yes I know that asking a lot but I’m going to keep searching "

You’re not asking enough, IMO. You need someone who you can have a laugh with, enjoy the vanilla stuff, have mindblowingly good sex, roughly compatible kinks, AND that you both fancy and actually like. You’re trying to get struck by lightning. Million to one shot. But you can have a hell of a lot of fun swimming in a thunderstorm while you wait.

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Not looking for total monogamy, I want someone I can share the lifestyle with and be someone’s main partner. Yes I know that asking a lot but I’m going to keep searching

All that’s true and something that goes without saying. Enjoying the club scene is awesome and I am incredibly grateful to the people who I have met along the way. It’s starting to Plateau but I guess I’ve had to much fun.

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I think if you’re looking for a relationship that involves swinging then it makes sense to me that this would be the best place to find it.

As a single woman on the scene I’ve been on dates with men I’ve met here. My experience is that a lot aren’t honest about what they’re looking for or offering.

Not just those on Fab. That might be because many men on Fab are on other sites - nothing wrong with that, I'm also on POF.

I don’t think I know what you mean "

You get the same (type of) men on Fab and online dating sites. Most will say what they think you want to hear to get your knickers off.

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By *MrandMrsRedxCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

We met on here 3 years ago, at a time where (we thought) neither of us was interested in a relationship and have been together ever since, so it definitely can happen

Mrs x

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By *ingeandTCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

It still runs. We keep getting half tempted.

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By *ingeandTCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

"I must try the crowland social, if it still runs."

Sorry I posted above in error, the crowland social does still run regularly. We often get tempted as local but never get round to it lol

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By *aughty_builder87 OP Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I must try the crowland social, if it still runs.

Sorry I posted above in error, the crowland social does still run regularly. We often get tempted as local but never get round to it lol "

Where’s crow land i know you both go Jaydees regularly so I’m assuming not too far from there

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