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(Not So) Newly Single Guy

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By *heaspieswinger OP   Man
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme

So, sadly my fiancée and I split in April. It’s been pretty horrendous since, but I’m finally feeling ready to dust myself off.

I’m planning on going to my local club in a couple of weeks. While I’ve been incredibly fortunate enough to have been as part of a couple of many many years, I’ve never been as a single guy.

Any tips to help me get over my nerves?

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

Just curious, if youv been as a couple surely you would have seen single guys there and how they do things in a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just curious, if youv been as a couple surely you would have seen single guys there and how they do things in a club."

In fairness he’s not asking how to behave, he’s asking for advice on how to deal with his nervousness as he’ll be going by himself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If going to a club on your own I’d recommend taking a good book with you.

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By *heaspieswinger OP   Man
over a year ago

Newcastle-under-Lyme


"Just curious, if youv been as a couple surely you would have seen single guys there and how they do things in a club.

In fairness he’s not asking how to behave, he’s asking for advice on how to deal with his nervousness as he’ll be going by himself."

Exactly

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Not a man or single but I think you're very brave to go on your own. You obviously want to go and have the motivation, nerves are normal and once you've walked through the door the hardest part is over. I wonder if any other men nearby who might attend the same club as you would consider meeting you inside for a friendly drink

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I can see from your verifications that you’ve been going to clubs with your ex for at least 10 years so I can imagine it will be weird for you to go on your own so it’s understandable that you’ll be nervous.

Are you going to the same club that you used to go to with your ex? If you are then it must be reassuring to know that there will be people there who you recognise, or even possibly you’re friends with, as I’d expect there to be at somewhere you’ve been going to for 10 years. Being familiar with the surroundings, the staff, the vibe of the place etc. will probably make you feel at ease when you’re there as well. I’m sure that people are normally wary of single men at clubs and won’t want to interact too much with them at first as they will want to take their time to get to know if they can trust them but you won’t have that problem either if people there already know you and have seen you there as part of a couple so that’s one less thing for you to worry about. Obviously you know what the correct etiquette is and what all the ‘do’s and don’t’s’ are so you don’t have to worry about doing something wrong or embarrassing yourself either which is what a lot of single men worry about.

I hope this has made you feel less nervous and see that there isn’t really much for you to be nervous about and there are plenty of reasons for you to feel comfortable and confident when you get there.

If people there are used to seeing you with a partner then one thing that might be a bit uncomfortable for you is being asked where your partner is or similar questions, as I can’t imagine everyone will know that you’ve split up as it’s only been 5 months, so maybe you can pre plan what you’re going to say to people when they ask about your ex.

It must have been a tough 5 months for you but the fact that you’re already talking about going to a club shows that you’re really moving on with your life and getting used to life without her which must make you feel happy. Separating from someone who you’ve been with for (at least) 10 years and were planning to marry is incredibly difficult to get over and move on from so doing it within 5 months shows that you’re a strong person with an impressive ability to deal with difficult and stressful situations so I’m confident you can deal with going to a club that you have 10 years or more experience of frequenting will be a walk in the park for you.

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