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What to do when your partner doesn't find you attractive anymore but your still completely in love w

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By *onyjo OP   Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

And go.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd speak with him ..

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Talk, find out why, is there any rectifying it?

Is that just that for them they are no longer interested?

Do they want to continue a relationship with no attraction?

Can you live loving someone you know has no attraction to you?

So many things to take into consideration here.

Personally it would eat away at me and I'd loose confidence knowing the person I was most attracted to didn't feel the same, I couldn't do it.

Mrs

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Is this hypothetical or not?

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By *onyjo OP   Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

[Removed by poster at 10/09/23 17:02:01]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Not"

Ok. Is it something that can be sorted such as general grooming of something that can't be? Is it definitely that or has one person assumed it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i kick him out. karen

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By *onyjo OP   Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Gained alot if weight due to a really shit 14 months or so and just the fact I know

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Gained alot if weight due to a really shit 14 months or so and just the fact I know "

Has it been said outright?

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By *onyjo OP   Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

No

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"No"

Are you sure it's not your insecurities on your weight gain making you think he doesn't find you attractive rather than he actually doesn't.

What has he said when you've brought it up?

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly ... talk to him... ask him what is going on... also explain how you are feeling

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Talk to them about how you both feel about it. Make sure you're not projecting your own feelings about your attractiveness onto them. There are times I've felt hideous and that made me not want sex, and a partner that's in tune with me would recognise that I don't want sex and not instigate it, which would then help convince me even more it was just me being a disgusting trash goblin, rather than them being empathetic and trying to give me space to resolve my own issues without either of us communicating clearly what the barrier was.

Look at ways to resolve the situation. Losing weight and working out is unfortunately a lot easier than fixing the mental picture you hold of yourself sometimes.

If it can't be resolved, look at ways to dissolve the situation.

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By *oadsafun1960Man
over a year ago

Somerset & Hertfordshire

You're still together so there is obviously something keeping you together so don't give up.

My FWB and GF of 7 years left me and within a day of telling me had a new profile on here with another guy!! I still love her but it's hopeless so have given up and probably could never trust her again anyway.

But you still have hope just talk, be honest with each other and fight for what you want.

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

You didn't say if he still loves you or not.

pt

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By *onyjo OP   Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

He does still love me yes very much so

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By *ayd100Man
over a year ago

clitheroe

Open to as much advice as possible

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By *ersiantugMan
over a year ago

Cardiff


"He does still love me yes very much so

"

Then you can rekindle attraction I would guess.

pt

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By *risfunMan
over a year ago

brisbane

Loose weight .

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray


"Loose weight .

"

Do you honestly believe that your comment was helpful?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"Loose weight .

Do you honestly believe that your comment was helpful? "

It may not be the answer but it's only the op assuming her weight is the problem in the first place and that reply takes that out of the equation.

There could be lots of reasons for her partner to lose his mojo. It happened to me wheny dog was diagnosed with cancer and given 3 months to live, it was all I could think about.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry


"He does still love me yes very much so"

The love is there, that's the main thing, the enduring thing. And he hasn't told you outright he doesn't find you attractive.

Sounds to me you are having this conversation with the wrong people. This is really something for the both of you can meat out together. But you both need to be able to speak honestly and completely openly with each other.

After all how do you know it's a lack of attraction? Could it not be a mojo mismatch? Or you self projecting your own insecurities on the relationship? Or many many other reasons. Only to two of you who know and can sort what's going on.

If the love and lifelong companionship is there but he's not attracted to you what then? Do you burn it all or find a different way? There are some people who have a relationships where they expand to other people so everyone can get what they want as well as what they need. They believe they can't have everything from one partner alone. Granted its not for everyone but love is a spectrum. If there is still true love beyond the sexual does it have to end? Can you not have that love and bond but also outsource the sexual side to others?

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

Talk to each other

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By *onyjo OP   Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

Thankyou for all the advice, I'm not one for talking I bottle everything up and torment myself unhealthy yes I know but that's just how I am I get over emotional if I try to put things into words if that makes sense. But I do thank you all from the bottom of my heart ?? ?? ??

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By *lasphemousGirlWoman
over a year ago

Cambs

This is pretty much my relationship with my husband now, we're mostly platonic but best friends and share our lives still.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"This is pretty much my relationship with my husband now, we're mostly platonic but best friends and share our lives still.

"

It is so sad what i am reading .. to see women feel like a partner is no longer attracted to them is heartbreaking, i would like to say that this is not true and that they do still feel attraction to you, both of you are beautiful ladies and i hope it gets better for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jay and Elle,

Falling out a tree,

D, I, V, O, R, C, E

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jay and Elle,

Falling out a tree,

D, I, V, O, R, C, E

"

Hopefully it wont come to that and things can be improved ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In all seriousness, you talk things through. Besides, things can always be helped with a bit of attention to presentation. New haircut, clothes, a bit of weight loss. Unattractive people are usually low esteem and low motivation. Sure not everybody can be like Hugh Jackman but a little effort can turn a Steve Buscemi into a Steeve Coogan.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In all seriousness, you talk things through. Besides, things can always be helped with a bit of attention to presentation. New haircut, clothes, a bit of weight loss. Unattractive people are usually low esteem and low motivation. Sure not everybody can be like Hugh Jackman but a little effort can turn a Steve Buscemi into a Steeve Coogan."

You got it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Gained alot if weight due to a really shit 14 months or so and just the fact I know "

Ditch him! He should love you for you regardless of weight gain. I’ve recently ditched mine as he was leaving comments on other womens facebook pages. Ive got much more interest since i ditched him. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the comments about trying to talk? I assume there has been talks of kind? Obviously.

Let's be real, you seem lovely and patient. I imagine you have tried various forms of reconciliation and it's been made clear through actions, behaviour and possibly verbal that he doesn't love you in the same way you love him..

It's hard because you can't force someone to love you.

Ultimately if you don't mind becoming his side chick, stay with him but if you value yourself... You know what to do. Wishing you the best regardless how this moment works out x

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"Thankyou for all the advice, I'm not one for talking I bottle everything up and torment myself unhealthy yes I know but that's just how I am I get over emotional if I try to put things into words if that makes sense. But I do thank you all from the bottom of my heart ?? ?? ?? "

Well as you have a couples account and you both have access to, it as stated in your profile, I assume the husband knows about how you feel now as he’s probably seen this thread.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand you. My husband is asexual so has no interest in me intimately whatsoever so hence I joined here (with his knowledge)

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Have to join fab, but couples do seem to have strong moral code when it comes to meeting marrieds

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By *uckcpl4biCouple
over a year ago

somewhere around there

Try cuckold relationship so rewarding

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