FabSwingers.com forum: Do mens clubs welcome t-guys?

By *ubyMoon OP Woman
over a year ago

Newport, Isle of Wight

I've been talking to a friend about the sex club scene and he's interested, but he's a trans man (pre-op) and isn't sure where he'd fit in. I reccomended regular bi swingers clubs (he's further north than me, so definitely has easier access to them) but he's mostly interested in men and loves the idea of a gay sauna experience.

Do you guys think he'd be welcomed in a place like that? I don't want to dash his dreams but, like, most of the mens swinger/gay clubs seem to really lean on the imagery of dicks and pecs and traditional masculine stuff and I'd hate for him to get turned away or get dirty looks from the other men there.

Any advice welcome, If there are specific clubs people know are welcoming I'll pass the information on.

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By *ake_holeMan
over a year ago

London

I've known some club nights and saunas who welcome transmascs (sweatbox and roast notably) but it seems like it still comes with a large amount of discrimination

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast

It all depends on which club you are talking about. As a general rule of thumb once you hit the Midlands and then the North club options become far greater and also more open.

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By *ink vixenCouple
over a year ago

Medway

The one down our high street (ME1 club Chatham) has T girl Tuesdays plus they’re welcome at the twice monthly Bi nights.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"The one down our high street (ME1 club Chatham) has T girl Tuesdays plus they’re welcome at the twice monthly Bi nights.

OP's friend is a trans man x

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Club Play in Blackpool and the Attic in Derby are two very inclusive club's. As long as you're a human being you're welcomed.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

"Club Play in Blackpool and the Attic in Derby are two very inclusive club's. As long as you're a human being you're welcomed."
I think the OP’ s friend isn’t looking for inclusive, but rather a club/sauna exclusive to men.

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs

I think their best bet is to find the clubs and contact them to ask the question directly. I’ve never seen a trans man in any of the all-male clubs I’ve been to, and I suspect that even if they were welcomed they may run into the obstacle of most gay and bi men being sexually interested in male genitals.

I would second the point about Club Play in Blackpool. Very inclusive and they have a bi night coming up. I suspect your friend is more likely to feel welcome somewhere like that than in an all-male club / sauna, at least while they are pre-op.

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By *ubyMoon OP Woman
over a year ago

Newport, Isle of Wight

thanks for the advice all. i think ill just tell him to ask the clubs individually and keep an open mind to the bi clubs. x

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Likewise think the best way is to contact clubs direct and have a Frank conversation. Not only does this help him know if he'd be technically welcome, it also gives him a vibe for the club and its staff. All clubs are different and you want to go somewhere you feel welcome and comfortable in.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I am close to a transmasc man. He's finished all his surgeries now, but he did say that it was a mixed reaction at the gay sauna when he was still pre-op. He didn't face open hostility as such, but there were definitely people who didn't welcome the original genitalia, and there were also people who did welcome it.

He also made sure to call and check it was okay with the owners before attending any he hadn't been to before, but was never told no, though some were obviously not keen on the idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been curious about this the other way round. I saw a women only/lesbian event advertised and I pondered if I would be welcome. I've decided against it just now though as I get enough weird looks anyway and I don't want to feel like I'm not welcome.

Best of luck to you, whatever you decide. But yes, definitely call the club ahead of time to find out the policy xx

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By *achel SmythTV/TS
over a year ago

Farnborough

In my experience of clubs ‘we’ as in the T of LGBT, tend to be the one that is perhaps least welcome across a spectrum of events, and need to check and select that we are welcome before going.

Some clubs will actively steer us away from routine swinging events, and whilst personally have never been to a ‘normal’ event, I.e. couples / women / men (many of whom will have bi experiences whilst there), have met those that have, and clearly we are perhaps not what they want - irrespective of the effort made, and the sometimes fab level of femininity achieved.

I do think that lesbian clubs and events, are perhaps the worst and least tolerant of us. I did once go to one in Manchester, and was faced with open hostility! … not exactly inclusive!

I tend to go to clubs within the realms of bi-nights. It is perhaps the safest, and diverse environment to be in, where every part of the LGBT spectrum is embraced and celebrated.

R xx

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