FabSwingers.com forum: Appropriate clothes for a social

By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.

Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

Understandable if they’re on their way back from the gym. Although why you’d want to do a social after the gym is anyone’s guess.

Don’t think we’ve ever discussed what people would be wearing to a social in advance though!

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I've sometimes sent a pic of an item of clothing so they recognise me

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

I'd be willing to bet some of the younger generation would turn up to a regular date in gym gear though.

Personally I want to look nice. Not overly sexy. But smart and a little enticing

I once had a regular date turn up in his crappy work clothes and I wasn't impressed.

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By *urreyNotSoNewbiesCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

Nice/sexy clothes that you would wear on a pub date. Gym clothes seems a bit weird

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Penny - Summer dress that shows a little leg and cleavage but just enough to sell the goods

Mav - Jean's or smart shorts and collared t-shirt, again, just enough to show his bodyshape.

We would wear enough that we wouldn't look out of place in both a resteraunt or nice bar, it would also be easy enough access that if we all got along amazingly and hands could later slip where the shouldn't.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Agreed that our clothes would be similar to that on a date! Something that makes me feel sexy but comfortable

usually a nice top and smart bottoms - Xeno x

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old

If you were saying meeting a married person (and you knew) and you were going to meet them in the gym/hotel bar for a quick social, I see nothing wrong with that. Likewise if the only time which worked for you both was gym time etc I don't see the issue.

If you're specifically going on a social as in a date, then clearly gym gear isn't suitable.

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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old

If you're specifically going on a social as in a date, then clearly gym gear isn't suitable.

The plan was a social in a nice hotel bar. They were not staying at the hotel so could not have gone to hotel gym.

It could be one of two things; either they thought gym clothes were fine on a date which means we’re probably too old for them or they can’t be bothered dressing up because they reckon sex is guaranteed so no reason to put any effort into looking nice.

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

Maybe they needed to go work out after if things didn't get physical

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By *atty CoramWoman
over a year ago

Wimbledon

Whatever feels comfortable/appropriate...

as long as you are naked underneath.. just in case

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

Most hotels offer gym membership. You sure they weren't just on the way to the gym?

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By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Smart casual

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

If it's in a hotel or bar then smart/casual, I'd probably wear a nice dress.

Mrs

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

Generally a first meet is just a walk so jeans are fine, otherwise I’ll only meet in clubs where I tend to be naked so clothing doesn’t really factor in

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By *hiny-SinnersCouple
over a year ago

Vale of Glamorgan

Ha I realise I am probably an outlier here, but being an extreme fetish exhibitionist my problem is toning it down rather than dressing up LOL

I really push the envelope in pretty well all situations, including vanilla, but I make that very clear in advance so any third party knows what to expect.

My particular quirk aside, I agree that a bit of effort is both polite and shows a degree of commitment. We know why we are meeting so wouldn't people want to add a bit of spice by making an effort? The flirtation and teasing is all port of it, but gym gear doesn't exactly shout either forethought or sensuality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whatever feels comfortable/appropriate...

as long as you are naked underneath.. just in case"

I am ALWAYS naked underneath.. just in case...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.

Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old

At my last social I was a sweaty barrel in sweaty shorts and sweaty t-shirt.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

I would wear something that makes me feel sexy yet comfortable in public surroundings without being too obvious. So usually not stockings

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.

Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old

Maybe for them you were just "something to do" on their way from the gym or to the gym and not worth putting any effort in?

I think my "date" or social or whatever would end up rather quickly if someone turned up in gym gear or, god forbid, fluffy pompom slippers! Hate those things with vengeance, they belong in the lounge of your home, not on a date/out shopping.

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

I don't own any gym gear

Surely a shirt and smart jeans would be OK. Guess it depends on how poss the venue you were meeting at was

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

"Smart casual "

True! Shows you're making an effort but...

I do Smart Casual at a family gathering...

If it was a FabSwingers social, I'll be Smart "Sexy" Casual. You know, like a figure hugging bodycon dress with a bright brassy zip down the back that is saying...

... Unzip me...

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By *ovetolick78Man
over a year ago

The Shire

"Smart casual

True! Shows you're making an effort but...

I do Smart Casual at a family gathering...

If it was a FabSwingers social, I'll be Smart "Sexy" Casual. You know, like a figure hugging bodycon dress with a bright brassy zip down the back that is saying...

... Unzip me..."

Now that would be a sight.

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.

Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old

For many appearances are everything, for me I’d dress to the vibe of the evening.

You’d never see me in gym kit unless we were in a gym!

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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.

Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old

Maybe for them you were just "something to do" on their way from the gym or to the gym and not worth putting any effort in?

Agreed. You don’t want to look like you’re at a wedding and meeting Jimmy Saville.

It’s like a date. You should make an effort in our opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice smart casual wear with some nice underwear on as well xxx

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By *oadsafun1960Man
over a year ago

Somerset & Hertfordshire

Surely it's worth putting in the effort to at least be smart and casual and show some respect for who you are meeting.

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By *ngel-FallsWoman
over a year ago

Gloucester

I would agree with smart casual. I have met men in dirty work wear but they have been on lunch break or whatever and it was only coffee. But then I like a tradesman looking a little rough.

It all depends. I've also met people on my way to work so been in work clothes but I work in smart casual wear anyways. So no difference.

Also some men rarely wear jeans so as long as they look presentable in nice joggers then that isn't a problem.

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By *empted23Couple
over a year ago

countryside

We would say make in smart jeans and a shirt female in a dress or some version of weather appropriate

I’ve got enough to flaunt but I’m only hinting at it attire in winter

If our person turned up in Gym gear or work clothes we would probably have a shorter social but take the person of the possible play list

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Casual but easy to take off

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

"I would agree with smart casual. I have met men in dirty work wear but they have been on lunch break or whatever and it was only coffee. But then I like a tradesman looking a little rough.

It all depends. I've also met people on my way to work so been in work clothes but I work in smart casual wear anyways. So no difference.

Also some men rarely wear jeans so as long as they look presentable in nice joggers then that isn't a problem. "

If I knew it was a quick meet in their work day I'd be cool with it

And yeah . Tradesmen in shorts and boots. Yummy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve rocked up in my shorts a T-shirt combo in the past.

It’s a social, I’ve asked if it’s ok, they’ve said yes. No drama.

Being all dresssy n stuff is just one more thing to get stressed and anxious over. Just be comfortable.

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

If I meet for a social then it is usually for just a coffee or drink in a pub, then I would wear smart casual, if I really wanted to impress maybe shirt and trousers.

Occasionally I have met someone where I come straight from work, then I warn them I shall be in my scruffs. Whatever I have worn for the social meet I have always been asked to meet at a later date, so I guess it's personality rather than clothes.

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

"Understandable if they’re on their way back from the gym. Although why you’d want to do a social after the gym is anyone’s guess.

Don’t think we’ve ever discussed what people would be wearing to a social in advance though!"

Disagree. Only if they are on their way to the gym after the date with literally no time to change (e.g. they have a class starting at specific time). After gym, we shower and change, we would not go to a date and expect to make a good impression all sweaty after a good workout.

Smart-casual, like for a date, ensuring it's clear we have made an effort so we appreciate their time and meeting us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wear what makes you feel good, but also make an effect when meeting. Gym gear us just lazy

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By *orl1971 OP Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Glad to see we are not being silly in most people’s view.

It was a single guy social some 25 miles from his home in a nice hotel bar. He’s was not staying at the hotel and it was not his gym. We casually talked online about what we wear to socials and he said gym gear.

As others have said to us this is lazy or worse maybe he’s pretending he’s popping to the gym to his partner; stranger things have happened .

We’re generally smart casual and like the same so we cancelled the meet with him as we’d be wasting his time. Just not compatible.

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By *ahoganyEyesWoman
over a year ago

Hartlepool

I've always been a bit more understated on socials. Like, a nice top and a skirt or something. Then really turn it up a notch for the actual meet itself. But no, not joggers and a t shirt haha

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

If I was meeting someone for a one on one social for a coffee or bite to eat, I would go with jeans and t-shirt and trainers.

Or if it was hot weather , combat shorts, t-shirt and flip flops .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Glad to see we are not being silly in most people’s view.

As others have said to us this is lazy or worse maybe he’s pretending he’s popping to the gym to his partner; stranger things have happened .

We’re generally smart casual and like the same so we cancelled the meet with him as we’d be wasting his time. Just not compatible. "

Fair point about using the gym as an excuse to get out of the house without a partner knowing.

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

I would go smart casual.

It's about making a good impression.

If the person I was meeting turned up in gym gear, it may be that that's what they feel comfortable in etc, but it would send me the message that they weren't really interested.

I look at it as another filter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always dress to impress, not over the top as in 3 piece suit and tie. First impressions definitely count

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends where you're meeting someone, it would feel a bit weird to turn up in a shirt and trousers for a chat in a Starbucks (unless you've just finished work of course).

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By *il73Woman
over a year ago

Hyde

My most expensive clothes are gym wear...as are my trainers

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By *ichaelsmyMan
over a year ago

douglas

depends on the hotel so that you dont stand out by looking out of place if it has a dress code.

also wanting to make the right impression for those that are meeting is also important

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By *hisismeXXXMan
over a year ago

Welsh Wales

Surely a social is effectively a date, and you are hoping to impress those you are meeting so would be looking to make an effort?

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

For us we treat it like a night out so we dress to impress.

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By *ampshirehotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire

First impressions last. I like to look good without being too over the top.

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

"If you’re meeting for a social in public in a hotel or bar, what would you wear ? We think it’s like a date so looking nice in decent clothes.

Just had someone suggest they’d turn up in gym gear. Maybe we’re getting too old

Use it as a filter.

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By *heelerMan
over a year ago

Northants

Casual but smart, after shave and commando

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

Usually just wear jeans and a tight little top with maximum boobage

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

"Casual but smart, after shave and commando "

Why commando ?

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By *ervus88Man
over a year ago

Preston

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think like you are on a date like yourself

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By *oomerangbobMan
over a year ago

stanhope

Jeans, T-shirt, Pampas grass behind ear kind of combo

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By *oomerangbobMan
over a year ago

stanhope

Gym gear suggests that they are preparing to run away…I might be overthinking this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely it depends on the location, occasion and expectation.

Obviously many more aspects but dress up I say... Why not?

better to be dressed up than dressed down

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By *eardedman7Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

Jeans and polo/jumper for me

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

3 piece suit,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A first meet is a time to look, and feel your best.

If you’re wearing ill fitting clothes, or looking like you’d not given much thought to your outfit it will show in the way you carry yourself. Especially if the other person has taken time to look their best.

I’d rather be overdressed than underdressed personally. I’d never wear trousers or jeans to a first meet. I did wear smart trainers to a meet once. With a dress at that. It was out of necessity as I wouldn’t have been able to walk in heels that day. Normally, I always wear heels, and a dress to a social meet.

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