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Experience with SOME couples

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By *lackshadow7 OP   Man
over a year ago

Toronto

Back when i first joined the site, i got contacted by the female half of a couple who expressed interest in my profile. We eventually got chatting and things were progressing pretty smoothly.

Not long after that, the male half of the couple got on to the account, and apparently after reading the message exchange between his wife and myself, sent me a strongly worded message warning me to never contact her again, and proceeded to block me. I should add that the messages were completely harmless, simply general chat.

Obviously he was unaware of who she was in contact at that time. I took some vital experience from that, and have used it in my dealings with couples ever since.

Recently, i had another couple get in touch. Again, it was the female half of the couple. As we got chatting, i asked her pretty early on if her hubby was aware that she was talking to me. She got offended by this and surprise surprise....blocked me.

So i ask you wise heads of Fab, how do i approach this situation in the future? Am i right to stick to my guns and confirm that all potential parties involved are aware of message contact pretty early on? Last thing i want is a repeat of the first situation detailed above. Getting blocked because i asked for such verification is also quite baffling to me.

Any advice appreciated.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Keep the number of message exchanges down and then ask to speak to them both on the phone maybe? - sooner the better... ?

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like single male pretending to be a couple.

Pretty hard to send you evidence of produce verification.

So they simply block and find a new victim.

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By *uncouple981Couple
over a year ago

ayrshire

If I was you I would keep doing what your doing. If the couple is genuine they will probably appreciate you checking that everyone is happy. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust your instincts. But I wouldn't assume the first couple to be typical of how couples swing, most don't have one half in the dark who then gets jealous.

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By *roovytwoCouple
over a year ago

burnley


"If I was you I would keep doing what your doing. If the couple is genuine they will probably appreciate you checking that everyone is happy. X"

Just one of the checks to make sure all are genuine rather than getting fingers burnt and stick to your principles.

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By *ea and SugarCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

MOST genuine couples would not have any issue with you having a conversation with the fem half of the couple, I agree that it is probably a man pretending to be a couple.

If it is genuinely a couple, I suggest you are better of finding out early if the guy is so insecure about you having a general chit chat with his wife/partner.

I would have no issues whatsoever, I enjoy reading the chats that Sugar has with guys on here whilst I'm at work.

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By *lackshadow7 OP   Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"Keep the number of message exchanges down and then ask to speak to them both on the phone maybe? - sooner the better... ?

Wolf

"

Thanks, i will be doing this from now on i think


"Trust your instincts. But I wouldn't assume the first couple to be typical of how couples swing, most don't have one half in the dark who then gets jealous."

Agreed, i don't tar all couples with the same brush, but as you said, sometimes your gut just tells you what often proves to be true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally if I am interested in meeting a couple, I expect to meet both so see no reason to only ever talk to one half, hence I have put one couple off as the male tried to get me to meet him because his wife is too busy?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We always step back if it seems to be only one half of a couple initiating contact and you are wise to feel that it indicates a possible future problem. We find that lots of ladies are too busy to come to the computer.....ever!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Personally if I am interested in meeting a couple, I expect to meet both so see no reason to only ever talk to one half, hence I have put one couple off as the male tried to get me to meet him because his wife is too busy? "

Too busy not knowing what he's up to!

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By *r and Mrs BiteMeCouple
over a year ago

Belbroughton, Stourbridge

I quite often chat to single males - but tell them our 'rules' so to speak about meeting - I would never be offended if someone asked of Mr B knew I was chatting,and have been asked several times in the past xx

I think if they are genuine they would have no probs with the question x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find it very helpful when folks freak out on this site..wether its in forums,chat or messages..even better if they manage to block themselves!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I must say speaking as a male half of a couple that I do get peed of when guys don't try to chat to me via message etc, and even more peed off when they have had a meet with squames and never send me any kind of acknowledgment or thanks, I would in that situation ask her not to meet them again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/02/13 17:31:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Keep the number of message exchanges down and then ask to speak to them both on the phone maybe? - sooner the better... ?

Wolf

This is good advice. If the woman appears to be permanently indisposed you can bet they...

a: don't exist

b: are a blow up doll

c: locked in a cupboard AND a blow up doll

d: a man acting alone in some effort to

achieve a bisexual wankfest.

"

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if i am interested in a couple then at some point I would expect to talk to both...

it is a tricky situation because I am very much a believer in if i have any correspondence then both would read it, so anything I send I would be happy for both to read (no alterior motive so to speak)

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By *uckoldandWifeCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Sounds like you have had two unfortunate but rare responses so can totally understand the dilemma. In a way you have been lucky as both those couples did you a favour by letting you know early on they had issues which would be rubbish to discover later down the line. Don't think you have to change, you did nothing wrong on either occasion it seems.

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By *ornieandhotCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough

I "D" do most of the messaging more so if its guys

When couples we both do

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"if i am interested in a couple then at some point I would expect to talk to both...

"

I'm happiest when that happens to be perfectly honest. In the case of single guys it's good to strike up a chat with us both so that we end up having a friendly exchange on the night instead of an exchange of the monosyllabic grunts, or with improper 'care and feeding' of my better half.

With Ladies I'm at pains to let them see that my better half is very happy with them as long as they handle me properly at meet-time and return me in the condition borrowed - it avoids a lot of singles feeling guilty (one failed to see the concept of sharing and legged it from an MFF saying she'd never share her long-term partner )

With couples we either both gel with both, or not at all. We've done the 'partner not available' at initial meets and lived to severely regret it afterwards; so we'd count that out for starters. Probably why we've met 90% singles and 10% coups

What can I say? - like Jimmy Greaves said, it's a funny old game. Sometimes you have to back out of the sheer excitement for a moment and look at things in the cold light of day to ensure that you're actually dealing with Bona-fide's and not getting lulled into someone else's gameplan.

Have fun

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This does happen more likely to be a fake profile though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can quite happily talk away to my missus, doesn't bother me one jot lol

M

PS if you have a problem with talking how on earth are they going to react to the shagging?

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By *ornieandhotCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough


"You can quite happily talk away to my missus, doesn't bother me one jot lol

M

PS if you have a problem with talking how on earth are they going to react to the shagging?"

Exactly

D x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Back when i first joined the site, i got contacted by the female half of a couple who expressed interest in my profile. We eventually got chatting and things were progressing pretty smoothly.

Not long after that, the male half of the couple got on to the account, and apparently after reading the message exchange between his wife and myself, sent me a strongly worded message warning me to never contact her again, and proceeded to block me. I should add that the messages were completely harmless, simply general chat.

Obviously he was unaware of who she was in contact at that time. I took some vital experience from that, and have used it in my dealings with couples ever since.

Recently, i had another couple get in touch. Again, it was the female half of the couple. As we got chatting, i asked her pretty early on if her hubby was aware that she was talking to me. She got offended by this and surprise surprise....blocked me.

So i ask you wise heads of Fab, how do i approach this situation in the future? Am i right to stick to my guns and confirm that all potential parties involved are aware of message contact pretty early on? Last thing i want is a repeat of the first situation detailed above. Getting blocked because i asked for such verification is also quite baffling to me.

Any advice appreciated."

My advice is just avoid couples lol

I've had quite a few problems with them in the past and now days if i want a MFF i tend to meet a single guy and a single woman instead of a couple as i feel much more relaxed around two singles then a couple

I have also found that with some couples you cant do right for doing wrong and i feel im treading on egg shells round them and cant relax

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By *atcher80Man
over a year ago

The

In my limited experience, I too ask to speak to both parties and find that the best way to do this is to arrange a chilled out cam chat session. I find that it covers a lot if points quickly. I find its far more relaxing than a phone chat, you can direct your questions to both parties and help the husband/bf feel more relaxed and included. I tend to keep this chat purely chat and nothing too naughty as it puts less pressure on anyone involved to perform like a circus monkey.

If they are a genuine couple they will respect you for this and appreciate that you are treating them accordingly.

I have found on occasion "couples" saying they don't have a webcam etc or a digital camera etc. In todays day of tech and seeing as they are in a site to meet up, i am naturally suspicious of this, normally a guy pretending.

Having said that, hehehe, i have had a couple without a webcam email me a pic of them grinning whilst she had my username and the date written on her cute bum in lipstick to prove they were genuine! Lol

And lastly, without trying to sound snobbish, it also allows you to see if they meet similar standards as you in their presentation of themselves or home. Lets face it, no one wants to turn up to a place for a meeting and it looks like a crack den !

Good luck for the future buddy!

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By *andF_funCouple
over a year ago

Philly PA area

We play as a couple, and only arrange meets w/ other couples.

However, I do let my mrs flirt with single guys on here since it makes her feel sexy and turns me on having other men want her.

Some crude remarks totally turn her off, but she has about 3 or 4 men she messages back and forth with all the time. Respectfully they do ask if i know about the chats and I do.

Only 1 person I told "bug off" to but it was someone we caught lying about changing his age and name w/ the exact photo.

As a couple we are into this 100% honest with each other or it won't work.

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By *lackshadow7 OP   Man
over a year ago

Toronto


"

What can I say? - like Jimmy Greaves said, it's a funny old game. Sometimes you have to back out of the sheer excitement for a moment and look at things in the cold light of day to ensure that you're actually dealing with Bona-fide's and not getting lulled into someone else's gameplan.

Have fun

Wolf

"

I think you hit the nail squarely on the head there. Applies to all involved in this lifestyle really.

And thanks to everyone else for the advice in the thread. Looking forward to hopefully better experiences in the future.

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