FabSwingers.com forum: Ghosting on day of meets for someone else

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.

I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.

Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.

Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months

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By *estinysswingersCouple
over a year ago

Worsley

It happens unfortunately.

It’s annoying but chalk it up to experience and move on.

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

No but that’s really crappy.

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By *ottodot123Couple
over a year ago

Gillingham

It's rude. Sorry that happened to you OP. Block and move on I guess. No one wants to be second choice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you really want to try again in a few months with people who dropped you so easily?

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By *ittleMissCali_MrDJCouple
over a year ago

wonderland.

A verification could be from an earlier time x I've had some verifications months after I met someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t be anyone’s second option OP.

Block and forget. If they can treat people like that they’re not worth your time.

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

That’s an awful behaviour from their side.

I hope you won’t contact them in a future OP, for your own sake.

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.

I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.

Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.

Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "

I think they're mad to have done so op.. but on a serious note that is pretty poor behaviour on their part

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Had it happen several times, think some people play games with older men

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By *moothGrooveWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Exactly the same happened to me last Friday.

Had a social the week before, messaging several times a day (mainly instigated by him), arranged to meet on the Friday. He messaged the night before saying he was excited..... Friday came, late afternoon got a message saying he needed to fix his van. Saturday morning and he had a new a verification and a fairly graphic description of the brilliant Friday night they'd had.

Yes its 'NSA' but we all have emotions and feelings. I was pretty hurt, and annoyed with myself.

I guess what I'm saying is, it happens. It's not unusual. It's not you. They obviously don't respect you, so delete and move on. They aren't deserving of your emotional energy.

Big hugs, have a great weekend xx

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Best just to block and move on saves it happening again by them and making you feel ugh

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

It happened to me years ago on my own profile

Had a social meet arranged with a single male,he cancels day before as he now has to have his child.

No problem ,I understand these things crop up.

Next day shiny new graphic veri from a woman & it was clear they'd met the night we were due to.

I blocked him right away ,it's obvious he didn't want to chance a social meet ,that wouldn't guarantee him anything.

It sucks ,but there's a lot of dishonest people on here sadly who would rather just go quiet or lie ,rather than be upfront.

Miss

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Mine wasn't quite ghosting op,sorry you had that,block in case they try to come back to you in Future .Or put a private note on their profile.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.

I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.

Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.

Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "

It’s happened to me twice mate, each time a solo female profile.

Fair play to them for having a ‘Plan b’, but I would never lead someone on like that, so just block and move on (as I do)

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By *enSiskoMan
over a year ago

Cestus 3

O.P I was told once this is FAB and no one has to care for the feelings or emotions of others.

People are here to please themselves and no one else.

I keep that in my mind on here, but then again I message no one took down my photos, and now use the forums.

There are places to meet other likeminded people like ourselves, in the real world which are not clubs, or socials the only things you pay for are your drinks.

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Just happened to me again, 5th time in a row!

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"Just happened to me again, 5th time in a row! "

Oh that's really shitty I'm sorry it's happened at all

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'd give no further chances. Such behaviour is awful

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

"Just happened to me again, 5th time in a row! "

Was the meet a social one?

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By *hiftyiftyCouple
over a year ago

Derby

So many fake profiles people just wana waste your time even fake verification!!!! experienced so many last minute cancellation or even getting ghosted or blocked

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

Fab essentially mirrors human mating instincts at its most basic level, especially for men.

People talk to multiple people simultaneously. Which ever option is viable and presenting the most ticks will be the one chosen.

If you arrange a meet and it’s a social one, and the other option is more than a social, guess which one they’d choose.

If one option is better looking than the other and both options are social meets, guess which one they’d choose.

It’s natural. The only thing bad about it is when they lie to you with some shitty excuse and then you see the veri up the next day.

But it’s the modern hook-up scene in all its brutality.

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

"Just happened to me again, 5th time in a row!

Was the meet a social one? "

Outdoor meet, with promises, and the same person, I must look like Mr Gullible!

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.

I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.

Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.

Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "

It happens all to often. Time waiting, some people like the idea and cochair of swinging but they shot their bolt when they realise it will actually happen.

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.

I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.

Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.

Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "

Although some ghostings are undoubtedly the result of timewasters/ fakes/keyboard wankers/ fantasists it is becoming common now to contact a number of potential meets in order to achieve just one due to the low rate of success. Very often, rather than go through the agony of saying thanks but we have selected someone else, it’s becoming increasingly common to go quiet and ghost. Now you could say ‘I’m nobody’s second choice’ or just ‘screw you, you’re blocked’, send an angry message, complain bitterly or maybe just… leave it, keep the door open, just let it go…

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By *actilenorfolkgentMan
over a year ago

Norwich

Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.

I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.

Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.

Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months

That's been my stance, but when it's the 5th time from one person where I thought there was a connection it does get demoralising!

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By *hoenix_1Man
over a year ago

richmond

Had it happen to me once a few years ago, just blocked them and moved on

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By *JandCMCouple
over a year ago

cardiff

Last year had a meet as a single M with a couple.

Exchanged quite a few messages, excepted as friend n sent pics back n forth.

Arranged a meat, time n place.

About 20 minutes before I was about to leave got message they couldn't make it.

By the next day I was unfriended n would not reply to me.

Worst thing was that I was convinced they weren't time wasters as they had over 50 meet verifications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Open and honest is not hard to do for many of us Op.

Was arranging a social to find out they just had verification of a meet.

The tireless messages to another who was always on holidays or work meeting.

Flirting with someone to be ghosted for days.

You are not alone op.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.

I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.

Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.

Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months

This is true up to a point if you have not yet fixed a date/time etc. However, extremely rude and unreasonable to do so AFTER making actual plans. It happened to me before. Lady suggested the meet day after a social. Then blocked me on the day. A few months later unblocked me so I messaged. She said "I just got a better offer". She also said "By the way you are ugly, smelly and a horrible person". Wonder why she suggested meeting and fixing a date in that case. Some people are just horrible and get a kick out of pissing people around. She is still here and her profile has lots of comments about wanting people who are polite, respectful with good manners etc. Yeah right.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

there are and have always been a core of couples and women who think its ok to mess guys around just like the core of couples who hate single men being in clubs and just like men who mess around too ... sadly its part n parcel of the scene just that couples and women dont get slated like the guys do ...

its wrong very wrong and id suggest to anyone who gets messed around to block and move on .... of course not all are messer's and some will be genuine

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By *harAndBryCouple
over a year ago

Peterborough / Stamford

We'd never do it but can see how people are tempted, but some couples book three meets in the hope that one turns up then cancel the rest. We generally meet single guys at home and four out of five never show or cancel last minute. In theory, if we booked five at half hour slots, when one shows up we could cancel the rest.

It's awful behaviour, though.

(Bry)

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

wow i got to be honest this profile or our couples profile we cannot remember the last guy who never turned up its a very very rare event ...

we are very strict in our selection and stick to a process of how we pick guys for meets 80% of our meets are arranged on the same day the other 20% within a week we never ever plan anything further ahead as that where most of the let downs happen .... i think to many trust to many on this scene ....

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

Had a social with a guy, messaging all the time leading up to the next meet, messaged me the morning of it saying he wished i was with him now rather than working

When I asked him in the afternoon what time were we meeting he said he was going to be late back so could we meet in the week.

He was actually already back, his Snapchat gave his active location

Now hidden his profile and ignored messages.

I feel he's got a gf and got cold feet in the end

Gives single guys a bad name for sure

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By *he Dark SaintMan
over a year ago

hitchin

Nasty behaviour, it happens quite often. Block and move along. The pool is dry as it is, you don't need leeches in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/08/23 20:38:57]

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

Welcome to Fab. It comes with the territory.

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By *ORDERMANMan
over a year ago

wrexham

Playing devil's advocate...on one hand you can understand if someone is aware of a window opportunity to play is coming up..they're sorting out potential meets..and at last minute go with one most (so they think) suitable to them to the detriment of others they have made think they were meeting...they're playing odds and keeping their options open till last minute.

The failure to be honest with the others is am indication of their true character in normal life...

Yes no one owes anyone anything on here..but Manners and honesty cost nothing..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has anyone ever done this? Decided last minute they wanted someone else so just ghosted.

I had been speaking to a couple basically daily for weeks. They gave time and added me in whatsap then said they had childcare issues and would rearrange later in the week.

Didnt get a reply and then noticed they meet someone else on the original day we planned. No communication and I stupidly canx plans with friends.

Do you guys just block and move on? I wouldn't have been bothered if they were honest and were very keen so thought about trying again in a few months "

Hi op

It happens sometimes. It is not respectul. At least tell you. They do not. Had it happened to me. Block.. Not interested in someone's dishonesty it sucks

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By *acyCariadWoman
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'd just move on. Personally I find it really rude to cancel plans like this, if I've said I'll meet you then I will unless an emergency comes up. Sex is not an emergency.

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By *acyCariadWoman
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Playing devil's advocate...on one hand you can understand if someone is aware of a window opportunity to play is coming up..they're sorting out potential meets..and at last minute go with one most (so they think) suitable to them to the detriment of others they have made think they were meeting...they're playing odds and keeping their options open till last minute.

The failure to be honest with the others is am indication of their true character in normal life...

Yes no one owes anyone anything on here..but Manners and honesty cost nothing.."

I understand that if you're talking to a few people and no one has committed yet. But once you've made plans with someone I'd say that's that. I might still talk to the others but I'd have to arrange a different time to play with them, because now I have agreed to plays with someone.

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By *isionofdignityWoman
over a year ago

reading

Remember that the date of the veri is the date it’s written not necessarily when you have met the person

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