FabSwingers.com forum: Advice for a meets first timer?

By *ubyMoon OP Woman
over a year ago

Newport, Isle of Wight

I'm really not a person for small talk. It's one of the reasons I love going to clubs, everyone there is already half-naked or more, we all know what we're after, and it doesn't take a lot of conversation to get going. Skips a lot of the awkward socialization.

Actual meets? I've got no clue what you even say to eachother. ''Hi, I'm here for my 5pm dick appointment'' ? LOL. Don't even get me started on messaging in the first place. I've had to ghost so many people because I just don't know what to say or how to organise a get-together, or I'm worried they won't like what they see in person.

If anyone has an advice, It's welcome!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I treat meets like dates which is possibly terrible advice or great advice.

I make jokes, I ask questions, I talk about my day and when the moment or vibe is right I consider making a move or leaning in (I’m talking meets not socials).

If it’s socials and meeting for the first time I just go for a laugh, continuation of our message chats and then a bit of flirting. That’s all. No expectations.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"I'm really not a person for small talk. It's one of the reasons I love going to clubs, everyone there is already half-naked or more, we all know what we're after, and it doesn't take a lot of conversation to get going. Skips a lot of the awkward socialization.

If anyone has an advice, It's welcome!"

I think if your opening line was ''Hi, I'm here for my 5pm dick appointment'' it would break the ice perfectly. You should have no worries they won't like you, you are gorgeous

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By *ubyMoon OP Woman
over a year ago

Newport, Isle of Wight

Haha, you've got me there. a bit of humor always makes the sexy stuff better!

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

"Haha, you've got me there. a bit of humor always makes the sexy stuff better!"

When we eventually visit the Newport version of Chams, say hi

Announcing it's a dick appointment is optional

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By *revaunanceCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

"I think I treat meets like dates which is possibly terrible advice or great advice.

I make jokes, I ask questions, I talk about my day and when the moment or vibe is right I consider making a move or leaning in (I’m talking meets not socials).

If it’s socials and meeting for the first time I just go for a laugh, continuation of our message chats and then a bit of flirting. That’s all. No expectations. "

Very good advice.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

I just talk to them like I would to anyone else, most people don't have an issue with chatting! You just need to find a common interest.

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

Well hopefully you would have found something in common through messaging. Then it's just a case of continuing the conversation with a bit or a lot of flirting. Things just evolve in my experience.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

I had a lovely social today with a lady I've been chatting with for a while. We just chatted about anything and everything really. It was a very pleasant afternoon.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I think you should just have a social and see. You never really know what it's going to be like for you until you try. It doesn't need to be long winded or in depth. Just be honest and frank with what you want. Meet up, show your faces and have a little chat. See if the vibe is there and you feel comfortable in each others company. Doesn't have to be hours, telling your whole life story. Can be just a quick half hour to check in and see if everything checks out OK. If so then the way is laid for a more physical future encounter.

But likewise we find clubs and parties the easiest way to navigate the scene and find what we want.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

The advice I’d give you is to just be open and honest about it….if you’re exchanging messages with someone that you like but you’re finding it difficult to think of things to say then tell him, if you say something like ‘I like you and want to get to know you better but I’m rubbish at text conversations’ then that takes a load of pressure off you and will make the other person feel more comfortable too. I’ve chatted with people who aren’t good at text conversations and initially I always feel like they don’t like me and aren’t that interested in chatting because they send short messages and don’t seem to be engaged in the conversation, when I feel like that I normally ask them if they’re a shy person or don’t like texting, otherwise I’d assume they aren’t interested and stop chatting with them. If you tell someone that and they stop messaging you then they obviously weren’t that interested anyway and you haven’t lost anything because you’d probably have ghosted them eventually if you hadn’t said anything about it, but I’m pretty certain that very few people will stop messaging you because of that and i think it will actually lead to a better text conversation as you’re both more relaxed.

Similarly with meeting for the first time, if you know you’re going to be really nervous then tell the person you’re meeting about it before you meet, it’s much better to know and be prepared for it than to not know and have to deal with it in the moment. Everyone knows that very few people are completely themselves when they meet someone for the first time, it takes a while to get to know someone properly, I’ve known people who were really quiet the first time I met them but after a few meets, when they felt more comfortable with me, they relaxed and their true, talkative, personality came through.

If someone judges you completely by how you act on the first meet and decides that’s your true personality then they’re being over judgmental and unsympathetic and no one wants to be with an overly judgmental and unsympathetic person anyway haha.

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By *aseball13Man
over a year ago

SURFSIDE BEACH

I totally agree with you. I also went from top to bottom on your profile page.

I'm feeling that my years spent in the Navy and overseas has cut me off from my home country. Games were fun when I was young. Now I want real and not to many women here in the Southeast of the US have any idea.

Thank you. I did enjoy reading it

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