FabSwingers.com forum: Lack Of Any Sucess What So Ever On Fab After A Year.

By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Up early as I have to drive up to Glasgow from Sheffield soon . So ,I've been a member on Fab for over a year now ,and not even got as far as a public social for a coffee ,or bite to eat to see if their is a spark or attrac1tion. I've re written my profile so many times. I add upto date face photos on a weekly basis but alas ,no luck what so ever . Admittedly, I stopped messaging couples and single women a few months ago because none of my messages were ever read ,and that destroyed my self confidence .so now I just read and partake in the forums to avoid wasting my time ,and to stop my confidence taking any further batterings.

I admit ,I'm not someone who would ever go to a club or an arranged large social that's just not my thing .But I'm more then happy to meet in a coffee shop ,or pub for a one to one social for a coffee or bite to eat to see if there is a spark and attraction .

I live on my own with my dogs , and just want to make connections with like minded people . I must admit that things seem to have changed since I was on the scene 15 years ago ,when I met loads of lovely people and enjoyed plenty of fun.

Im now trying to make connections again now I'm single again, but it seems that ,now clubs and organised socials are the only way to meet people.

I will admit , I have zero interest in going to a club or organised social . Is this why I am struggling to to get any interest on Fab .?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi Dave

You have not specifically asked for profile advice so I can’t advise you.

That said from what you have written here if you have stopped messaging people and don’t visit clubs that literally means you are hoping for people to message you.

You also say in here you can’t travel so where would you expect a social or do you want them to travel to your place for a bite to eat.

That makes your chances even less hoping that a single woman who has lots of opportunity here to travel to you and to the place of someone she doesn’t know or trust initially

Now that does happen but it does limit your chances. See fab as an addition

I wish you luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had one meet from Fab in 2023. It's hard for everyone on here.

Clubs can be daunting for everyone and I can only imagine how hard it is for single guys.

I don't get why you refuse to go to organised socials. We've found these a great way to meet people and learn about the scene.

Fab on its own is a pretty poor way to meet people and for single guys it nigh on impossible. There's 100's of guys for each woman/couple and they are inundated with messages everyday. It's very hard to stand out or even get a response.

If you won't go to socials, clubs or even message anyone then you've got zero chance I'm afraid. There's thread after thread everyday on the forums from guys that just can't get a meet.

You're going to be proactive to get anywhere. Coming on the forums to lament your lack of success isn't going to help either.

I hope you find a meet but you're going to have to be persistent and use every avenue available to you.

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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

We are of the same conclusion that most people who actually meet seem to do it in clubs. We struggle hugely meeting couples on the site. It is enormously time consuming sorting the timewasters from the genuine then finding the genuine people you actually fancy.

We started a thread on meeting in clubs and many people responded that it was the way to go . Our lack of success meeting couples on Fab seems to suggest we at least try that. We imagine it even more difficult for guys.

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

We were going to clubs long before knowing Fab existed and swinging has been happening long before the Internet existed so relying on Fab for a meet is a very long shot although they do happen.

You might have to bite the bullet and try an organised social. Good luck OP

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

It's hard for most on here op,but the pure numbers of men on here make it hard for them to stand out.

As a couple we struggle to find that 4 way attraction and couples who want straight play only..

I know you say you wouldn't want to try a club,I can understand they'd be daunting to a single male.Organised socials are a good way to meet others and get known though.

We're not currently meeting ,but when we are ,we'll use a club if we want a meet together.As we've done so in the past.

Jack was a single male here before we met & he did ok ,because he attended clubs and socials as well as using the forums .

Just relying on fab doesn't seem to be enough anymore I don't think.

Miss

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By *ope_kisses22Couple
over a year ago

Hyde

Morning,

Can I ask why you won't go to socials or clubs? I think lots of ppl have these ideas formed in their heads about them and they're not like that at all.

As singles both of us used to attend clubs..we even met in a kik chat group for an event. for a female it is the safest way to meet without the physical risks and also without the risks of it feeling like a date and risking getting emotions involved.

I guess the choice is yours..... keep trying what hasn't worked or try something new.

Kat

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

It’s difficult for everyone. I have met one person for an actual sex in the course of 2 years and all my verifications are from fab organised socials, rarely from 1:1 social which I find daunting. It’s a risky thing to do for a single woman, believe me when I say that, I’ve been followed back home on two occasions and had a real life stalker.

You limit your chances drastically by the looks of it.

If you don’t proactively go out and start doing things, either it’s a club or a big social, I’m afraid you’ll stay like that forever.

I use forum nowadays as I’m not particularly bothered by other things, but I know you are, otherwise you would write this post.

There are some good replies on your post and hope you’ll find a way that suits you.

All the best OP.

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

*wouldn’t write this post, sorry for my typo

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
over a year ago

Tamworth

OK so you've mentioned what you don't do (clubs, socials and messaging people) but what is it that you are doing to try and get any form of meet?

I don't want to sound harsh but it appears you're doing nothing to be proactive but still expecting results?

Single women and couples don't need to hunt out profiles on fab and they generally recieve enough messages meaning they don't need to make the first move. So if you're not actively trying to engage with anyone, I'm not sure what you're expecting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are in no way proactive and expect people to come to you/yours, don't you think that's a massive contributer.

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
over a year ago

Chester

[Removed by poster at 05/08/23 12:00:17]

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Dave; clubs aren’t the only only way to meet people. I’ve been to several as a single guy, and I would never recommend the club scene to a mate, as somewhere a single guy would enjoy, and feel welcome.

I’ve been using Fab for over 10 years, and met plenty of single ladies, and couples through here, and will continue to do so.

Be patient, don’t take it too seriously, chat shit in the forums, message those profiles you feel you actually are a mutual match for, block all those you clearly aren’t. You’ve met others in the past, it will happen again

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By *lym4realCouple
over a year ago

plymouth

Pretty hard for everyone on here and we haven't bothered since before covid hit and had afew little social events at our place but the standard reply where we live to not getting meets etc etc is to go to the "Clubs" and our reply is if that's all people do why bother even being on here then ?? and seeing we aren't into is it moist/shag n go type meets we get labelled with various different labels aswell....but small socials might be the way for you to get to meet others in a relaxed non pushy atmosphere but then a fair few get confused with the meaning of the word social and sex party it seems though ??

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By *rozac_fairyCouple
over a year ago

Tamworth

" Pretty hard for everyone on here and we haven't bothered since before covid hit and had afew little social events at our place but the standard reply where we live to not getting meets etc etc is to go to the "Clubs" and our reply is if that's all people do why bother even being on here then ?? and seeing we aren't into is it moist/shag n go type meets we get labelled with various different labels aswell....but small socials might be the way for you to get to meet others in a relaxed non pushy atmosphere but then a fair few get confused with the meaning of the word social and sex party it seems though ?? "

For the people that go to clubs... they often use fab to see what events are on at clubs, be able to ask about specific nights etc aswell as keep in touch with people met at clubs, join guestlists and be apart of the community

Fab is just a tool that can be utilised for alsorts of people

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

Honestly, attitude is everything. If you won’t push yourself out of your social comfort zone, I’m going to assume you won’t push yourself out of your sexual comfort zone either. And that’s ok for some people, but for others…not so much.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

The club/social thing is a bit of a red herring. Yes it is one way and can help but far from essential and lots and lots of people are meeting via Fab. It is not easy and there may be geographical issues in your area that make it harder but it is possible. BUT you've got to be positive and interesting and offer something! Sorry but you come across as negative on profile and in Forum posts (you've made a lot of comments like this before) so I assume your messages with people are similar. Negativity is a turn-off. Positivity, fun, sense of creativity etc. are turn-ons. Even if you went to a club/social if you show the same negative energy then you are unlikely to get anyway. I know it's hard but crap the negativity and be positive and fun

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By *ork6677Couple
over a year ago

York

In our experience it is difficult for us as a couple to find the genuine single males on here. We typically use a different site but when we visited a club for the first time in March it seems everyone (or most) seems to be on fab. We have arranged to meet single males from here for a social and they either make excuses at the last minute as to why they can’t meet or just don’t turn up, which is extremely frustrating. Because of this we choose to meet single males at a club as if they don’t turn up it doesn’t matter. We have had some great meets at clubs and some meets where they haven’t turned up. Unfortunately for the op it is very tricky to know which guys are genuine and which are picture hunters. We do get a lot of messages and most get deleted as generally most consist of “hi”, or “in York tonight can we meet”. Clubs and socials are the way to get to know people these days

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"Up early as I have to drive up to Glasgow from Sheffield soon . So ,I've been a member on Fab for over a year now ,and not even got as far as a public social for a coffee ,or bite to eat to see if their is a spark or attrac1tion. I've re written my profile so many times. I add upto date face photos on a weekly basis but alas ,no luck what so ever . Admittedly, I stopped messaging couples and single women a few months ago because none of my messages were ever read ,and that destroyed my self confidence .so now I just read and partake in the forums to avoid wasting my time ,and to stop my confidence taking any further batterings.

Im now trying to make connections again now I'm single again, but it seems that ,now clubs and organised socials are the only way to meet people.

I will admit , I have zero interest in going to a club or organised social . Is this why I am struggling to to get any interest on Fab .?

Hi mate, just trying to PM you but you’ve blocked all men. Don’t worry I’m not after your banana or your bum hole..

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I am going to take a different view to most people - I have much more success on the site rather than clubs. I have done ok in clubs but I find them overwhelming. That said fetish clubs/nights are usually easier for me.

If I am being brutally honest, people are looking for specific things on the site. If you have those attributes then you will do well. If you don’t you will struggle. There isn’t really anyway to sugarcoat that message.

Attributes desired seem to be a mixture of physical and personality.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"I am going to take a different view to most people - I have much more success on the site rather than clubs. I have done ok in clubs but I find them overwhelming. That said fetish clubs/nights are usually easier for me.

Attributes desired seem to be a mixture of physical and personality."

Yep agree and most couples and ladies are not going to clubs at all or perhaps only occasionally. The whole club thing can get overstated.

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By *ork6677Couple
over a year ago

York

We like to put a meet up when we are going to a club and strike conversation before we get there for a friendly face on both parts and to have had some chat beforehand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same boat. This is why we are thinking of going to a club. Way better chance of meeting then on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the same situation being messaging people getting no where is really hard trying to find someone on here

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By *ornyfriendlygentlemanMan
over a year ago

Mid-Sussex

I have been on Fab for 6 months but I haven't had anyoffers,so I took my self off to Bristol gardens spa which is a nudist and I really enjoyed it especially being naked amazing I loved it.

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Depends what you define as success, Fab is great for messaging people you have met in real life, get to a club and socialise

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By *eet The FlintstonesCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Fabswingers is kinda what it says on the tin . It's for like minded people who have an interest in a different lifestyle. I guess I'd go back to basics, meet people at clubs, pubs , clubs,gigs ,I know sounds old fashioned but that's how its done or a dating agency. Meeting single ladies on her for uncomplicated sex well that's like finding gold. All our meets now stem from clubs and parties and socials. Also helps that we have plenty of friends in the gay, tgirl communities xxx good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm having no luck but I'm trying. Fuck im trying I'm on here 25 hours a 8 days a week

(Yes I no there's only 24 and 7. That's the joke

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

I've been encouraged to message more on here which is not something that I have traditionally done. I have used fab primarily as a tool to keep in touch with people I've met in clubs. So far I have engaged in some good conversations and, amazingly, even arranged a couple of meets.

I'm saying this just to illustrate that it is possible. It doesn't happen often, more often than not there's no response as clearly I'm not what they are looking for and that's fine.

Don't let it get you down and, even though you don't want to, I'd recommend, as others have, to get along to a social or a club, more than once. It can take time to build up your confidence and make connections. You won't be the only nervous person there. I suffer from social anxiety but find these venues and events a lot easier than vanilla ones to interact with people. I'm always happy to chat with anyone who wants to on here so drop me a line if you want op.

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

Not the only one OP, I been here for 8 months and still havent met one person yet. I know I'm probably one of the top 100 ugliest guys on here but I won't let that stop me from meeting a woman

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By *e and him 2021Couple
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Op don’t get to hung up you are in the sea with plenty of others.

If you can go a social it’s a good way of meeting and getting out there. Yes this is a swinging site but it doesn’t work for a number of reasons, just keep the faith.

We have had up and downs. We’ve had single guys messaging, yes we’ve straight deleted some profiles with no effort or content.

Some have a reply with a thank you but no thanks.

And 3 that have got her attention and she has replied ask to see a face picture has she likes the rest but they haven’t even responded to her. So some give other a bad reputation

But try and go social events and just make a comment to people, nice outfit or you look great just to break the ice and you never know.

Good luck.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"Not the only one OP, I been here for 8 months and still havent met one person yet. I know I'm probably one of the top 100 ugliest guys on here but I won't let that stop me from meeting a woman"

Don't be so self-deprecating. You look like a fit and handsome chap. I'm an unattractive, old, fat bastard

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I will admit , I have zero interest in going to a club or organised social . Is this why I am struggling to to get any interest on Fab .?

Well those 2 are probably the easiest ways to meet people….. so if you are deliberately trying to make it harder for yourself to stand out then sure….

But if your way isn’t working then why are continuing with your way….

If it’s not working then what do you have to lose in switching it up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh it's difficult for everyone here but obviously even more so for single men

Single women aren't having a whale of a time either and neither are couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Knock backs

Rejection

Loss of confidence

It happens to most of us op.

Time and patience.

Give it time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbh it's difficult for everyone here but obviously even more so for single men

Single women aren't having a whale of a time either and neither are couples "

Exactly.

We are not.

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

you ve got more chance chatting to a female down at your local Tesco s ... just don t get your cock out at the counter !!

unless you go to a club or a organised social , it s a waste of time being on here !

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By *lice AgainTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

It took me well over a year before my first.

Even though I get loads of 'wanna fuck' messages, mainly from guys, late at night, who are d*unk and think I'm what they want...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's like dating sites dialled to 11. Best to just understand that you're probably not even close to the top few percent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you ve got more chance chatting to a female down at your local Tesco s ... just don t get your cock out at the counter !!

unless you go to a club or a organised social , it s a waste of time being on here !

Haha

I thought u were gonna say unless u got a club card

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It took me well over a year before my first.

Even though I get loads of 'wanna fuck' messages, mainly from guys, late at night, who are d*unk and think I'm what they want...

Hi.

Yes, I get this all the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It took me well over a year before my first.

Even though I get loads of 'wanna fuck' messages, mainly from guys, late at night, who are d*unk and think I'm what they want...

Hi.

Yes, I get this all the time. "

Do u tho.

Ha just joking as if that's ever going to work

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

there should be a warning when you join this site / scene that nobody owes anybody anything

there should also be a warning for men that they vastly out number the women and its a swinging site where people who attract each other play ... its not and never will be a sex on a plate scene

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By *ecretescapeCouple
over a year ago

London for 3 days

"there should be a warning when you join this site / scene that nobody owes anybody anything

there should also be a warning for men that they vastly out number the women and its a swinging site where people who attract each other play ... its not and never will be a sex on a plate scene"

Yep!

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By *ecretescapeCouple
over a year ago

London for 3 days

I'm an overweight middle aged woman who could not pull in normal life but on here i am bombarded with messages all day everyday from all sorts of guys, some of which are hot af and I spend meets pinching myself that I'm actually with them.

So basically for single women fab can be like being a kid in a sweetshop. I am extremely unlikely to pick a normal nice average guy. Sad but true.

I married one of them in the past and it didn't make me happy.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"I'm an overweight middle aged woman who could not pull in normal life but on here i am bombarded with messages all day everyday from all sorts of guys, some of which are hot af and I spend meets pinching myself that I'm actually with them.

So basically for single women fab can be like being a kid in a sweetshop. I am extremely unlikely to pick a normal nice average guy. Sad but true.

I married one of them in the past and it didn't make me happy.

Fair play to you. Nobody in Fab would not want to be in your position. Ride that wave

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

No pain, no gain is perhaps relevant here. Only you OP can decide what changes you can be willing to make, in order to invoke potentially different results.

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Hi Dave

You have not specifically asked for profile advice so I can’t advise you.

That said from what you have written here if you have stopped messaging people and don’t visit clubs that literally means you are hoping for people to message you.

You also say in here you can’t travel so where would you expect a social or do you want them to travel to your place for a bite to eat.

That makes your chances even less hoping that a single woman who has lots of opportunity here to travel to you and to the place of someone she doesn’t know or trust initially

Now that does happen but it does limit your chances. See fab as an addition

I wish you luck "

Thanks for your reply. I am happy to get a taxi to travel for a one on one social ,but not owning a vehicle does limit the distance I can travel. Its the large arranged socials that are not for me .

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Dave; clubs aren’t the only only way to meet people. I’ve been to several as a single guy, and I would never recommend the club scene to a mate, as somewhere a single guy would enjoy, and feel welcome.

I’ve been using Fab for over 10 years, and met plenty of single ladies, and couples through here, and will continue to do so.

Thanks for the reply mate .I've not met anyone ,my one verifications was a 10 mins chat on cam with a localish couple who left the site shortly after.

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply on this thread . I genuinely appreciate all your feedback , suggestions and advice.

I'm not one for large gatherings like clubs or arranged socials ,that just not me. I don't struggle socially ,but prefer to just concentrate on one person, or couple at a social ,rather than networking with loads of people.

I'm not against travelling ,albeit ,living where I do in a rural location , having no vehicle ,no train station within 15 miles ,and a public transport system that amounts to a horse and cart once every few days ,my options are slightly limited .

I admit ,the fact I stopped sending messages, no doubt limits my chances of getting to chat to people ,but I made that decision because after putting in considerable effort and making sure I only messaged people who were looking for people of my age and likes ,seeing every message get deleted unread started taking a toll on my self confidence.

I remember when I was younger and on the scene before I met my ex wife ,and pre Internet. When it was about replying to adverts in local papers and things like the Ad Mag sending a letter to people and hoping for a reply. I actually met a lot of people ,and enjoyed many fun meets back then. Usually a social meet with the couple or lady in a pub or cafe ,then if we all clicked ,maybe a second meet for some fun. Now it seems so much more difficult for a single bloke to meet like minded people on the swinging scene.

Admit I do have slightly awkward issues due to my location and lack of my own transport, and I dont see Fab as instant access to sex .

Again thank you so much to everyone who has contributed to this thread so far ,its very much appreciated and I've read every post so far . I know I am in the majority on here, and couples and single ladies can take their pick ,and I have no problem with that .

Maybe my stance on clubs and organised socials works against me ,but I love this site,especially the forums . I enjoy the threads ,and a lot of them are so funny.

It looks like the swinging scene has changed since I was last involved pre Internet and clubs have have taken over from making connections online and I have been left behind.

Take care everyone and happy fabbing .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So basically for single women fab can be like being a kid in a sweetshop. I am extremely unlikely to pick a normal nice average guy. Sad but true.

I married one of them in the past and it didn't make me happy.

I've looked at your pics and you totally could like your pretty hot.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

FAB provides you with the tools to sell yourself on here - so please don’t blame FAB for not being successful.

It’s not changed, but now with the so many joining the choice is endless when it comes to guys.

Your profile doesn’t sell you as anything other than average - it might be honest but as selling yourself goes it’s very poor - at best it says ‘I’m alright’

You list all the things you don’t like or can’t be bothered doing.

People on here are looking for a bit of escape from normal life…your profile hits them straight in the face with exactly what they are escaping - normalcy!

Now, other people have 1,000 other guys to choose from. Back in your day of contact magazines they didn’t - my dad told me. It would take weeks to even get a reply so I guess the choice wasn’t there.

The two best things to meet people, you refuse to do. Continue doing what you are doing and you’ll get the same results.

We are ordinary people but we do well on here as we use all the tools FAB provides. There’s no secret formula other than to sell yourself in different ways.

Good luck

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By *ewhorizonsCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

If you’ve just sent dozens of boring cut and paste messages or “how are you?” ones then you’ll never get a reply. Make you messages personal and make them interesting. Be realistic in who you message as well. Much as I like the look of the size 8 twenty year old that lives in the next town, I know she’s out of my league.

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By *ecretescapeCouple
over a year ago

London for 3 days

So basically for single women fab can be like being a kid in a sweetshop. I am extremely unlikely to pick a normal nice average guy. Sad but true.

I married one of them in the past and it didn't make me happy.

I've looked at your pics and you totally could like your pretty hot. "

Thanks. I never ever get chatted up or flirted with in tesco or anything lol

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By *ssex-coupleCouple
over a year ago

clacton on sea

Reading through this thread hasn't filled me with any hope the swing scene has a future and assured me that fabswingers is a dead site.

We’ve been here on and off two years trying to find another couple or women for FWB.

We wouldn’t go out to a club after reading the reviews on the site of men just following the women room to room.

We have a 2 male FWB and regularly enjoy MMF but my partner doesn’t feel safe meeting strangers in a swing club. This site is meant to be the safety blanket before the meet but it’s all pillow talk to a lot of people and Twitter is full of everyone trying to flog their OF

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By *houtycatCouple
over a year ago

Henley

Please correct me if I’m wrong but our understanding of swinging is couples looking to have fun with other couples. Being single on here is a bit like being invited to a dinner party where you’re expected to bring a course and you arrive empty handed…but still expect a seat.

Of course couples want single guys and girls to join but that’s just an added bonus.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've said how isolated you are with regards to public transport and that you prefer to accommodate. This will be a huge barrier for many.

You're basically asking someone to put their trust in a total stranger, and travel by their own means to a rural location to meet someone they have no zero knowledge of. Not many will be willing to put themselves at that kind of risk. You must see the problem there surely?

If you continue to do the same things you'll continue to get the same results. You've said larger organised socials aren't for you but have you tried? Perhaps look for something on a slightly smaller scale like a reasonably local daytime coffee social as a compromise

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

It can be difficult for everyone on fab, even single women believe me. But you get out what you put in and if you want something I think you’ll just do it. I just braved a club one the day and the rest is history.

Fab is just a social tool for me really these days, see what events are on, who’s attending, keep in touch with friends. I’d only ever meet someone privately that I’d met at a club beforehand.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

"Please correct me if I’m wrong but our understanding of swinging is couples looking to have fun with other couples. Being single on here is a bit like being invited to a dinner party where you’re expected to bring a course and you arrive empty handed…but still expect a seat.

Of course couples want single guys and girls to join but that’s just an added bonus.

That’s not been my experience as a single woman. (I swing both solo and partnered). If I join a couple, I not only bring dessert but get requests for the recipe, it’s that good, and it’s been the same for me when someone has joined me and a partner. There’s a whole world of fun to be had swinging and it goes far beyond partner swapping. Please don’t be narrowminded, single people are having - and giving - a fuck of a lot of fun on here and in clubs too.

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By *ogo1189Man
over a year ago

Rossendale

What advice were you expecting to hear??

- you’ve ruled out group meets

- you’ve restricted your travel

- you won’t send further messages

- you don’t want to seem to want to change your approach despite so many people saying the same things

I’m not sure anyone could have given you any advice that you would have taken. Things do and have changed. It’s sad and a shame but if you don’t change to you will be left behind. That’s not just true for this site

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. My advice: you’re going to have to make a change in your approach in some way. Otherwise, maybe try tinder?

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By *houtycatCouple
over a year ago

Henley

Your experience as a single female obviously isn’t the same as our experience of single males. Our post and outlook isn’t narrow minded, weve had our fair share of all this site has to offer.

There’s a reason there’s a ‘block single males’ button

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Being single on here is a bit like being invited to a dinner party where you’re expected to bring a course and you arrive empty handed…but still expect a seat.

I’ve been invited to join several couples (through Fab), because hubby can set the table, and do the dishes, but cannot supply the entree, main course, or dessert, all of that is what I bring to the table….

‘Swinging’ may be all about partner swapping/car keys in a bowl to some, and fair play to them, if that’s their bent! But Fab (and the club scene), is about likeminded people, meeting others for fun, on whatever form works for them

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"You've said how isolated you are with regards to public transport and that you prefer to accommodate. This will be a huge barrier for many.

Thanks for your reply. I'm more than happy to meet in a public place for a one on one social over a coffee, a bite to eat or a pint to see if there is a spark and mutual attraction. I wouldn't expect anyone to come to my home without first getting to know each other.

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"If you’ve just sent dozens of boring cut and paste messages or “how are you?” ones then you’ll never get a reply. Make you messages personal and make them interesting. Be realistic in who you message as well. Much as I like the look of the size 8 twenty year old that lives in the next town, I know she’s out of my league."

Thank you for your input.

I always tailored my messages to the information on people's profiles. I've never sent the same message to different people.

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By *J20074Man
over a year ago

Bradford

Hi Dave

I’m a single guy and like you find it hard work on here but I mainly come on Fab to see what events are going off at the Swingers clubs.

I go to Cupids club in Manchester and it is very laidback and the people who attend are very friendly.

Once you have made your first visit to the Swingers club then it’s easier after that and there is other single males and females that go to Swingers clubs.

Hope this helps

Paul

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By *iner69erMan
over a year ago

inverness

Thank you for your input.

I always tailored my messages to the information on people's profiles. I've never sent the same message to different people. "
I do the same,but it makes no difference. I've had one meet in the 14 or 15 years I've been on here. The girls just ain't interested in you, but I guess you have to keep trying. Be prepared to be let down,stabbed in the back, swindled,etc by them. That's all I ever get but for some reason I keep plugging away ,on the off chance that the last meet 8 years ago will one day be repeated.

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By *ysonfuryMan
over a year ago

Stockport

I'm not one for going to a club on my own or first meet, they can be expensive for single guys. However if I'm going to one with friends I already know thats much more fun. You can meet some really nice people on. It's true that single guys vastly outnumber couples and single ladies. If you take the time to read a profile, put a bit of effort into your message and accept that a no is a no then you can be lucky. I will be attending my first group social soon so looking forward to that. Good luck op and happy fabbing

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"If you’ve just sent dozens of boring cut and paste messages or “how are you?” ones then you’ll never get a reply. Make you messages personal and make them interesting. Be realistic in who you message as well. Much as I li1ke the look of the size 8 twenty year old that lives in the next town, I know she’s out of my league.

Thank you for your input.

I always tailored my messages to the information on people's profiles. I've never sent the same message to different people. I do the same,but it makes no difference. I've had one meet in the 14 or 15 years I've been on here. The girls just ain't interested in you, but I guess you have to keep trying. Be prepared to be let down,stabbed in the back, swindled,etc by them. That's all I ever get but for some reason I keep plugging away ,on the off chance that the last meet 8 years ago will one day be repeated."

Thanks for your reply mate . I do wonder why some single blokes on here enjoy a lot of success, while some of us have zero luck what so ever. I have spent so much time and effort on my profile and photos ,but have had zero interest, but I've looked at some single blokes profiles ,who have only one photo and only a couple of lines info in their description, yet they have dozens of meet verifications. Then I start to think ,am I ugly?, is my body disgusting ?.I veiw profiles of single blokes ,with similar bodies to me if a simular age ,and they they loads of brilliant meet verifications ,and it makes me think I am ugly .

I see so many profiles and forum posts from couples and single women saying "if you can't accommodate, then we see this as a red flag " . But I have found that being able to accommodate and genuinely being single has done me no favours what so ever.

So ,now I basically use Fab ,which I subscribe too every month , to contribute to ,and read the forums ,as I have realised that it doesn't, and will not ever offer me the opportunity of ever meeting anyone for fun or even a one on one social.

I can live with that ,because I've learned in my year on here that if you aren't interested in going to arranged socials or you aren't interested in going to clubs ,then you have zero chance if meeting people .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 07/08/23 05:50:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you’ve just sent dozens of boring cut and paste messages or “how are you?” ones then you’ll never get a reply. Make you messages personal and make them interesting. Be realistic in who you message as well. Much as I li1ke the look of the size 8 twenty year old that lives in the next town, I know she’s out of my league.

Thank you for your input.

It’s not about luck. It’s about effort and people actually finding you attractive. That might sound harsh but it’s the truth.

As people have said above. Fab isn’t going to be your main source of getting a meet. Group socials (small ones are available) are popular for a reason.

I wouldn’t bother with a club to be honest. Some of them are cliquey and you would just regret going.

You seem set steadfast that you only want one to one socials. If you’re not able to travel I can see that being an issue.

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
over a year ago

Chester

[Removed by poster at 07/08/23 06:40:28]

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Thank you for your input.

The answer as to why men with rubbish profiles have lots of verifications is…organised socials and clubs, I expect. Now, as your target market (although geographically inappropriate) I can tell you that all my meets have been through here, via men messaging me first, so that method does work. Your profile is ok (if a bit long, maybe. I’d think about reframing positively anything even slightly negative and make it way clearer you will meet locally for a public social) your photos are good - the only thing we don’t know much about is the messages you send. My advice is, make them relevant to the profile, make them funny, maybe 5 lines long max (not too short, not too long). Try to send them when the recipient is online. And if it doesn’t work, change what you’re doing.

But the most important thing is - positive attitude is everything. You’ve had a lot of brilliant advice over several forum posts - maybe take a break, come back and action that advice and see if things are different.

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

December will be a year since I've joined the site but if I dont anyone women by then I definitely quit the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I rarely even get an acknowledgement in the forums

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"I rarely even get an acknowledgement in the forums"

Say something interesting or controversial - that seems to work

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By *ilk_TrayMan
over a year ago

South

Clubs and socials is the way forward.

Thank me later

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By *nterprizeABCMan
over a year ago

Aberystwyth

Reminder to people here that some of us don't go to clubs or socials because single men awkwardly trying to join conversations is a no-no. I have had any desire to visit Chameleons Newport completely cut off by bad experiences stemming from being a single male, especially December last year.

If that curtails fabbing, then so be it. Better to stay at home and live alone for the rest of your life, then leave a club late at night feeling that you'd spent £40 going down there only to feel like you've harassed someone just by saying hello at the bar. (not to mention worrying that you've caused discomfort to women there by your presence)

People are not always going to want you to join their conversation when they are there to see close friends, and you do not have a right to speak to anyone there. If that occurs, better to leave than hang around alone, the creepy single man par excellence.

Why do you think some men roam around clubs? It isn't just the creeps, it's the men that are sick of lingering around at the bar knowing they can do no right. The only solution is not to attend at all. Leave women alone. They do not need us and we do not deserve them.

("If you think this way, then why are you on Fab?" is a fully justified question to ask me in this context. The answer is I don't know. It's mostly because talking to anyone in a non-internet social setting except co-workers in the office feels creepy and harassing. I have a naturally brooding persona and countenance and it isn't appropriate to haul that round a bar at night)

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Attitude is everything. Negative profiles. Prolific posting on threads moaning that no one wants to meet you or you've not had a meet in x amount of years. Or the classic "whats a meet" quip any and every chance you get.

Complaining that other guys waste it for you or get all the women due to whatever body type you dont have.

None of the above is attractive. Stop comparing yourselves. Change your attitude or continue to get the same results.

Just my tuppence

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Attitude is everything. Negative profiles. Prolific posting on threads moaning that no one wants to meet you or you've not had a meet in x amount of years. Or the classic "whats a meet" quip any and every chance you get.

Complaining that other guys waste it for you or get all the women due to whatever body type you dont have.

None of the above is attractive. Stop comparing yourselves. Change your attitude or continue to get the same results.

Just my tuppence"

Thanks for your input, I appreciate it. I have worked constantly on my profile in the year I have been on Fab .I regularly post new ,up to date photos so people can see how I look at the minute ,and I take part in forum debates daily . Yes ,I ask for advice from time to time ,and I appreciate all the feedback I receive.

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Thank you for your input.

I always tailored my messages to the informationon people's profiles. I've never sent the same message to different people. I do the same,but it makes no difference. I've had one meet in the 14 or 15 years I've been on here. The girls just ain't interested in you, but I guess you have to keep trying. Be prepared to be let down,stabbed in the back, swindled,etc by them. That's all I ever get but for some reason I keep plugging away ,on the off chance that the last meet 8 years ago will one day be repeated.

Thanks for your feedback. I have tweaked my profile and added a bit about being happy to meet for a local one on one social in a public setting .

I just seem to be hitting a brick wall on Fab . I've always taken advice and tips about my profile and photos ,and acted on it and made improvements based on that advice and will continue to do so . But alas it seems no amount of improvement or tweaks to my profile makes the slightest bit of difference .

I live alone ,have a lovely home and to be honest wouldvl just be happy to make some new friends and enjoy a few one on one socials. Whether they lead anywhere or not.

I had many happy years on the scene before I met my ex wife and met many people and enjoyed plenty of fun ,and never ,ever went to a club or organised social one . Maybe times have changed and as a 51 year old divorcee , the swinging scene has passed me by ,and uts a younger person's game now a days.

I really appreciate that you think my profile is OK, and my photos are good.

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

You seem like a nice guy but I will give you my honest feedback:

1. Your pics don’t convey a guy with confidence and screams of someone who lives a very lonely existence. This oozes from your pics. Your clothes are a bit old-fashioned, wear something that is a bit modern and fitting to your physique. Take pictures of yourself in fun surroundings and not just at home. Also capitalize on sunny pics, if you ever get the sun where you live,

2. Accentuate the best parts of you in your pics and ditch the bathroom, pants pic. Not flattering.

3. Don’t listen to a lot of people on here about visiting clubs. What they aren’t telling you is that those clubs are expensive for single men, and I can assure you are most likely not going to have any action and if you get lucky, it’d be in a soulless gangbang that will leave you empty afterwards.

Unless that’s what you want, don’t do so until point 4 below. Remember, the club scene is a microcosm of life. The winners get all the women you desire.

4. Work on yourself - work out, run, do anything else that increases your testosterone and builds confidence. Then if you want to visit a club and increase your chances, the choice is there. Life is a game, play the game and reap the rewards.

My 2 pennies.

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

It is hard for everyone and going to go to a club is an alternative way too

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By *r SensualMan
over a year ago

London

I can’t lie, I’ve read a lot of the posts on this thread (from some of the men in particular) and I can see why you’re struggling if I’m honest.

In regards to the OP, it sounds like you’re cutting off your nose to spite your face even in the event that you’ve received a whole heap of helpful advice on here which evidently seems to be falling on deaf ears.

Clearly what you’ve been doing in the past isn’t working and if you’re not willing to change things up then quite frankly you’re not going to get far at all.

Yes, clubs can be pricey for single men but they (along with organised socials) really are a great way to meet people and make connections you’ve just gotta put your game face on and get out there. Heck, if I hadn’t got myself to clubs then I wouldn’t have met my partner and be in the relationship I’m in now.

You wanna meet single ladies?? Then those are the places you need to be. You get out of this world what you put in.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"I can’t lie, I’ve read a lot of the posts on this thread (from some of the men in particular) and I can see why you’re struggling if I’m honest.

Clearly what you’ve been doing in the past isn’t working and if you’re not willing to change things up then quite frankly you’re not going to get far at all.

You wanna meet single ladies?? Then those are the places you need to be. You get out of this world what you put in. "

Well OP has said he doesn't want to (and perhaps can't easily given location and travel issues) and many feel the same. We don't all live near clubs and have the time and money to attend. Also clubs/socials work for some and not for others. Telling somebody not comfortable in big group situations (sex or non-sex related) to put on their game face doesn't really help. Personally for many years I preferred private arrangements and it has worked very well. I am better in private or smaller groups than jostling for attention with larger numbers and don't think it plays to my strengths. Many others have said the same about clubs/socials - men, ladies and couples. The porblme OP has is that he has ruled it out but current approach isn't working and seems to be getting him down so basically no options. Perhaps other online hook-up or relationship options might work better and give up "swinging".

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By *chochamberWoman
over a year ago

Munster

You have too many face pics up and you are not bubbly smiling in them, you are not giving off upbeat company vibes. You are giving off downtrodden, tired, bored vibes.

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

Im now trying to make connections again now I'm single again, but it seems that ,now clubs and organised socials are the only way to meet people.

I will admit , I have zero interest in going to a club or organised social . Is this why I am struggling to to get any interest on Fab .?

To be honest limiting yourself to fab only is narrowing down your chances vastly. Expecting a lady to come to meet you is narrowing it further still. Guys/single guys out number ladies and cpls by at least 10-1.if you could see how many messages cpls and ladies get you would see that as a single guy you are a small fish in a very big pond. What i mean is the chances of getting a response are rare. Just this morning I bulk deleted 75 messages off guys who clearly had not even taken a peak of our profile. And up to now I have another 70 to look through when I get time. If you go to socials as well as on here you are increasing your chances of face to face chats with others. It's your profile to run how you see fit but at least listen to some of the good advice off others replying to your post

Mrs.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

"Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reply on this thread . I genuinely appreciate all your feedback , suggestions and advice.

Admit I do have slightly awkward issues due to my location and lack of my own transport, and I dont see Fab as instant access to sex .

Maybe my stance on clubs and organised socials works against me ,but I love this site,especially the forums . I enjoy the threads ,and a lot of them are so funny.

It looks like the swinging scene has changed since I was last involved pre Internet and clubs have have taken over from making connections online and I have been left behind.

Take care everyone and happy fabbing .

Your Sheffield mate, down to road is Leeds and Bradford. Lot of people.

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Bucks/London/Oxford

Im now trying to make connections again now I'm single again, but it seems that ,now clubs and organised socials are the only way to meet people.

I will admit , I have zero interest in going to a club or organised social . Is this why I am struggling to to get any interest on Fab .?

I have to agree, this has changed a lot in that time (I left a few years ago but came back hoping it would be better). Full of porn-fuelled men hitting crudely and indiscriminately on every woman, spoiling it for the rest of us.

I’ll probably leave again shortly - the lack of response is more frustrating than the lack of sexual activity. But staying for now….

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"You seem like a nice guy but I will give you my honest feedback:

2. Accentuate the best parts of you in your pics and ditch the bathroom, pants pic. Not flattering.

Unless that’s what you want, don’t do so until point 4 below. Remember, the club scene is a microcosm of life. The winners get all the women you desire.

My 2 pennies."

I really appreciate your tips and input mate.As I have already posted ,I an not interested in clubs ,so that is never going happen. Also ,I have never been a keep fit fanatic /gym bunny ,and never will be . I have the body I have . I'm not a person who feels they have to "work out "just to please others .I'm happy with my body shape ,and if others don't like my body ,that's fine.

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I can’t lie, I’ve read a lot of the posts on this thread (from some of the men in particular) and I can see why you’re struggling if I’m honest.

Clearly what you’ve been doing in the past isn’t working and if you’re not willing to change things up then quite frankly you’re not going to get far at all.

You wanna meet single ladies?? Then those are the places you need to be. You get out of this world what you put in. "

I appreciate your feedback. Thank you .

Yes ,I have received a lot of advice, and i have taken a lot of it on board regarding my profile and photos, and made changes .But clubs and organised socials just are not for me. I have read a lot of singles blokes profiles ,and verifications and I've noticed a lot of the successful guys with lots of meet verifications, none of their veris have come from club or social meets, they have had meets directly from Fab.

I suppose we are all different and although I can see your point about clubs and after seeing the vast amount of verifications you have from clubs, they certainly work for you , but it's definitely not a path I would ever wish to go down.

My view is although rejection online on Fab is demoralising, I can handle that being a single bloke in a majority , rejection face to face in a club would be on a completely different level ,and I don't wish to suffer the humiliation in a public setting like a club or organised social .

But I'm genuinely happy you seem to be having a lot of success in clubs, and I hope you continue to do so.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

You wanna meet single ladies?? Then those are the places you need to be. You get out of this world what you put in. "

What a load of rubbish! Mate, fair play to you for your clubs experiences, but there must be some kind of North/South divide as far as single ladies in clubs....

You will meet more single women in your local Weatherspoons, then you will on your average club night...

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

"My view is although rejection online on Fab is demoralising, I can handle that being a single bloke in a majority , rejection face to face in a club would be on a completely different level ,and I don't wish to suffer the humiliation in a public setting like a club or organised social."

I’ve never been to a club but I’ve been to a couple of group socials. Why worry about rejection when all you are doing is going for a drink with a bunch of people. Some you will get on with, some you won’t. It’s just like going to a pub on a Friday/Saturday night.

Don’t go with any expectations of anything more than meeting and talking to people. Do that and rejection doesn’t even come into it.

I know you have said you want one to one socials and meets but it obviously isn’t working otherwise you wouldn’t have started this thread.

Either way I wish you the best of luck

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By *hagTonightMan
over a year ago

From the land of haribos.

"To be honest limiting yourself to fab only is narrowing down your chances vastly."
This

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England

"You wanna meet single ladies?? Then those are the places you need to be. You get out of this world what you put in.

What a load of rubbish! Mate, fair play to you for your clubs experiences, but there must be some kind of North/South divide as far as single ladies in clubs....

You will meet more single women in your local Weatherspoons, then you will on your average club night...

It's not about the quantity.

How many women have you met and at the end of the night had sex at the back of the cinema room or tied them up on a cross and had sex with people watching you (if that's your thing but you get the point).

Don't think you get that at your local Weatherspoons.

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By *entleman of FortuneMan
over a year ago

Hull

I find it incredibly difficult on here, to the point I hardly bother with fab, but there are popular fab socials in my town and it's a lot easier there, people whom have rejected me here are different again at socials, I get infrequent replies to messages and then usually, No Thanks - which is fine ,but same people are willing to chat ect in person, they may get 100s messages a day so can't blame them.Socials can be daunting, but are a much better way of getting to meet genuine swingers.

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts

Im now trying to make connections again now I'm single again, but it seems that ,now clubs and organised socials are the only way to meet people.

I will admit , I have zero interest in going to a club or organised social . Is this why I am struggling to to get any interest on Fab .?

I think it's time to hang up your cock

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Also ,I have never been a keep fit fanatic /gym bunny ,and never will be . I have the body I have . I'm not a person who feels they have to "work out "just to please others .I'm happy with my body shape ,and if others don't like my body ,that's fine."

Except, you mention it so many times (three whole paragraphs) on your profile my first thought is "its not fine, he's horrifically insecure about it"

You don't even need to mention it. You have pictures that show your body, but your lack of confidence in yourself isn't attractive.

(And all the other things people have mentioned about how you're limiting yourself)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Except, you mention it so many times (three whole paragraphs) on your profile my first thought is "its not fine, he's horrifically insecure about it"

You don't even need to mention it. You have pictures that show your body, but your lack of confidence in yourself isn't attractive.

(And all the other things people have mentioned about how you're limiting yourself)

I'm a wheelchair user I mention it as I feel it's quite a big deal. Like if u arranged to meet someone and they turned up in a wheelchair.

Maybe he's thinking similar

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

As mentioned above dave take a few different pics outside on a sunny day ( when we get one again lol) Smile more as you do have a kind face and I think a kind personality reading your bio. Project a more happy looking dave with a big cheese grin

. Body type does not matter to everyone on here so just be you. Remember positive will attract positive. Joanne.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"I'm a wheelchair user I mention it as I feel it's quite a big deal. Like if u arranged to meet someone and they turned up in a wheelchair.

Maybe he's thinking similar "

It's in your name and you mention it once, I don't think that's too bad (although does make me think I should probably mention my aids on my profile if and when I start meeting again)

The OP has 3 seperate paragraphs that only talk about his "average" "dad bod" with "love handles", it has gone from informing the person (about something they can see from the reasonable photos the OP has) to something that he obviously has a personal issue about.

And for me, a lack of confidence isn't a turn on.

My boyfriend has a "dad bod" in that he is fit, he does go to the gym, he just has a belly. It is what it is.

But his confidence (which isn't arrogance thank fuck) is what makes him so damn sexy in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a wheelchair user I mention it as I feel it's quite a big deal. Like if u arranged to meet someone and they turned up in a wheelchair.

Maybe he's thinking similar

It's in your name and you mention it once, I don't think that's too bad (although does make me think I should probably mention my aids on my profile if and when I start meeting again)

And for me, a lack of confidence isn't a turn on.

My boyfriend has a "dad bod" in that he is fit, he does go to the gym, he just has a belly. It is what it is.

But his confidence (which isn't arrogance thank fuck) is what makes him so damn sexy in my eyes. "

I haven't looked to be honest, I assumed it was just a fleeting mentioning not a going on

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I can’t lie, I’ve read a lot of the posts on this thread (from some of the men in particular) and I can see why you’re struggling if I’m honest.

Clearly what you’ve been doing in the past isn’t working and if you’re not willing to change things up then quite frankly you’re not going to get far at all.

You wanna meet single ladies?? Then those are the places you need to be. You get out of this world what you put in.

I appreciate your feedback. Thank you .

But I'm genuinely happy you seem to be having a lot of success in clubs, and I hope you continue to do so.

Yet you are still posting moany statuses about not getting any meets. This is probably the no1 reason women are passing you by.

I see that on a local update and it's a hard pass. Rightly or wrongly I assume the guy would agree to meet for meeting sake rather than him being attracted to me.

Stop obsessing on not getting meets. Try some positive statuses. A simple anyone up for coffee and a chat.... might get a better response as a status.

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"As mentioned above dave take a few different pics outside on a sunny day ( when we get one again lol) Smile more as you do have a kind face and I think a kind personality reading your bio. Project a more happy looking dave with a big cheese grin

. Body type does not matter to everyone on here so just be you. Remember positive will attract positive. Joanne. "

Thank you for your kind words .IF we ever get a sunny day again. I will take some new photos .

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"I can’t lie, I’ve read a lot of the posts on this thread (from some of the men in particular) and I can see why you’re struggling if I’m honest.

Clearly what you’ve been doing in the past isn’t working and if you’re not willing to change things up then quite frankly you’re not going to get far at all.

You wanna meet single ladies?? Then those are the places you need to be. You get out of this world what you put in.

I appreciate your feedback. Thank you .

But I'm genuinely happy you seem to be having a lot of success in clubs, and I hope you continue to do so.

Yet you are still posting moany statuses about not getting any meets. This is probably the no1 reason women are passing you by.

I see that on a local update and it's a hard pass. Rightly or wrongly I assume the guy would agree to meet for meeting sake rather than him being attracted to me.

Stop obsessing on not getting meets. Try some positive statuses. A simple anyone up for coffee and a chat.... might get a better response as a status."

Thank you for you advice. I really appreciate it .

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Don’t go with any expectations of anything more than meeting and talking to people. Do that and rejection doesn’t even come into it.

I know you have said you want one to one socials and meets but it obviously isn’t working otherwise you wouldn’t have started this thread.

Either way I wish you the best of luck

"
.

I appreciate your reply mate . Had a cheeky look at your profile and you seem to be doing well on here .

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

Except, you mention it so many times (three whole paragraphs) on your profile my first thought is "its not fine, he's horrifically insecure about it"

You don't even need to mention it. You have pictures that show your body, but your lack of confidence in yourself isn't attractive.

(And all the other things people have mentioned about how you're limiting yourself)

I really appreciate your feedback thank you .I have zero issues with my body ,it is what it is. Maybe a re write of my profile is needed to take on your advice

As for my stance on clubs is concerned , they are not for me ,and never will be .

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"You wanna meet single ladies?? Then those are the places you need to be. You get out of this world what you put in.

What a load of rubbish! Mate, fair play to you for your clubs experiences, but there must be some kind of North/South divide as far as single ladies in clubs....

You will meet more single women in your local Weatherspoons, then you will on your average club night...

It's not about the quantity.

Don't think you get that at your local Weatherspoons."

You’re absolutely correct about the quantity/quality aspect, and I genuinely would be happy if I only met, and connected with one woman on a club visit.

Out of a total of 18 visits, over 7 clubs, I have played on 3 occasions. Each time, it was with the female half of a couple. The next single female I meet (and play with) in a club, will literally be the first

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Agree with you, regards 15 year's ago it was easier to meet purely via the site's (was not fab, but S..). I as a single guy met a number of ladies and couples to mutual benefit.

However I feel, the greater public awareness of the lifestyle has attracted a lot of fantasists who love the idea until it comes to physically meeting, then ghosting..

So can utterly understand the reluctance of those genuinely wanting to meet investing time and energy in unknown profiles (been there) and we use the site as a social network, putting no store by potential meets.

I am now in the enviable position to be with Y and we (read her,

) have no issue attracting attention here.

But to the point, you can either continue bemoaning the situation or embrace that the game has changed and try something different.. Good luck! Mr

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Agree with you, regards 15 year's ago it was easier to meet purely via the site's (was not fab, but S..). I as a single guy met a number of ladies and couples to mutual benefit.

However I feel, the greater public awareness of the lifestyle has attracted a lot of fantasists who love the idea until it comes to physically meeting, then ghosting..

I am now in the enviable position to be with Y and we (read her,

) have no issue attracting attention here.

But to the point, you can either continue bemoaning the situation or embrace that the game has changed and try something different.. Good luck! Mr

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it .

I change my profile on a regular basis to keep it up to date.

I post new face photos on a regular basis so people know what I look like now .

I update my status every day .

So to be honest. I do everything I can ,but I have my red lines I won't cross , IE , clubs and organised socials .

There are various reasons why I have no interest in clubs. Firstly , the nearest club to me is 40 miles away ,and as I live in a rural village ,with next to no public transport and no vehicle, and the nearest train station being 20 miles away ,clubs are a no no .

Also , being rejected online is one thing but being rejected in public , in person ,is on a totally different scale.At least being rejected online ,no one sees your reaction .

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By *lla_eastWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Hi Dave,

I’m not very active on the forums so I don’t know how you may portray yourself on here, and whether that hinders you. I am however, well acquainted with profiles on here and would happy to offer some honest, respectful feedback on your profile if you should want a single females perspective.

Feel free to drop me a dm.

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By *ilverfox for youMan
over a year ago

Hull

Same here 1yr and counting !no meets at all .once you are over 50 you disappear on this site !!unless you are a woman of course

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

So, you don't want to go to the clubs, you don't want to go to socials, and you don't message the people you might be interested in?

The odds of successful returns on that are pretty low.

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By *hunkyMan
over a year ago

bradford

"Also , being rejected online is one thing but being rejected in public , in person ,is on a totally different scale.At least being rejected online ,no one sees your reaction .

It’s not really that harsh at a club, you’ll already pick up if someone is interested or not while talking (unless you’re really playing yourself!) and everyone I’ve ever met at one have been really sound and down to earth.

Still doesn’t mean you’ll get any, but you will - if you put your best foot forward and approach people - at least get to meet and figure out the scene more.

I’m still new to all this and have only attended a club twice but never felt uncomfortable and certainly prefer it over FAB as a single guy. This place feels like throwing your hat in a black hole

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

"Agree with you, regards 15 year's ago it was easier to meet purely via the site's (was not fab, but S..). I as a single guy met a number of ladies and couples to mutual benefit.

However I feel, the greater public awareness of the lifestyle has attracted a lot of fantasists who love the idea until it comes to physically meeting, then ghosting..

I am now in the enviable position to be with Y and we (read her,

) have no issue attracting attention here.

But to the point, you can either continue bemoaning the situation or embrace that the game has changed and try something different.. Good luck! Mr

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it .

I change my profile on a regular basis to keep it up to date.

I post new face photos on a regular basis so people know what I look like now .

I update my status every day .

So to be honest. I do everything I can ,but I have my red lines I won't cross , IE , clubs and organised socials .

Also , being rejected online is one thing but being rejected in public , in person ,is on a totally different scale.At least being rejected online ,no one sees your reaction .

Well if you're not going to take people's advice. Carry on being unsuccessful

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By *ingerMasterMan
over a year ago

Huyton

I never thought I was a club person.....till I found someone to go to clubs with. Since then I've even gone clubs alone. The right club can build up your confidence as you'll see noone judges you so you can just be you.

When I was single, i had a different accoubt on here, I practically had a full time job posting on these forums, getting my name and personality out there. I had so many meets that my best mage said Fab was like my own personal little black book. I'm talking weekly meets, I stopped posting first messages to women, I didn't need to any more, they would message me. And I am in no way a looker, I have the overhanging belly, moobs and I'm bald as well!!!

Just let go of the negative posts, be yourself and see what happens.

Best of luck on here and happy fabbing x

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"So, you don't want to go to the clubs, you don't want to go to socials, and you don't message the people you might be interested in?

The odds of successful returns on that are pretty low."

I am more than happy to meet for a one on one social in a public place for a coffee or a pint or a bite to eat to see if there is any spark and attraction . I'm just not interested in clubs or organised large socials .

I would rather concentrate on one person ,or a couple than play the numbers game networking in a club or large social.

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Agree with you, regards 15 year's ago it was easier to meet purely via the site's (was not fab, but S..). I as a single guy met a number of ladies and couples to mutual benefit.

However I feel, the greater public awareness of the lifestyle has attracted a lot of fantasists who love the idea until it comes to physically meeting, then ghosting..

I am now in the enviable position to be with Y and we (read her,

) have no issue attracting attention here.

But to the point, you can either continue bemoaning the situation or embrace that the game has changed and try something different.. Good luck! Mr

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it .

I change my profile on a regular basis to keep it up to date.

I post new face photos on a regular basis so people know what I look like now .

I update my status every day .

So to be honest. I do everything I can ,but I have my red lines I won't cross , IE , clubs and organised socials .

Also , being rejected online is one thing but being rejected in public , in person ,is on a totally different scale.At least being rejected online ,no one sees your reaction .

Well if you're not going to take people's advice. Carry on being unsuccessful "

Thanks for your reply .With respect I have taken people's advice, when given about my profile and photos ,and made the appropriate changes .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Agree with you, regards 15 year's ago it was easier to meet purely via the site's (was not fab, but S..). I as a single guy met a number of ladies and couples to mutual benefit.

However I feel, the greater public awareness of the lifestyle has attracted a lot of fantasists who love the idea until it comes to physically meeting, then ghosting..

I am now in the enviable position to be with Y and we (read her,

) have no issue attracting attention here.

But to the point, you can either continue bemoaning the situation or embrace that the game has changed and try something different.. Good luck! Mr

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it .

I change my profile on a regular basis to keep it up to date.

I post new face photos on a regular basis so people know what I look like now .

I update my status every day .

So to be honest. I do everything I can ,but I have my red lines I won't cross , IE , clubs and organised socials .

Also , being rejected online is one thing but being rejected in public , in person ,is on a totally different scale.At least being rejected online ,no one sees your reaction .

Well if you're not going to take people's advice. Carry on being unsuccessful

Thanks for your reply .With respect I have taken people's advice, when given about my profile and photos ,and made the appropriate changes . "

I've followed your posts for the last year and the biggest and best piece of advice that's often been given and which you have never taken up is in regards to your attitude and mindset buddy.

Your negativity constantly comes out even when your likely trying to keep it in check. Negatively like that permutates and influences everything.

When it comes to which guys join us for a 3sum the most important factor is attitude, how they carry themselves, the positive vibe and energy they give off. This type of Positively enhances everything from your charm, respectfulness and likeability.

The most successful single male swingers we know are very average looking, with dad bods and pack and average size cock. What they have in spades is the right attitude and mindset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So to be honest. I do everything I can ,but I have my red lines I won't cross , IE , clubs and organised socials .

Also , being rejected online is one thing but being rejected in public , in person ,is on a totally different scale.At least being rejected online ,no one sees your reaction .

With the greatest respect everyone who goes to clubs including us at shhh on Wednesday of this week will be politely told no thank you. It's an absolute fundamental part of swinging that not everyone wants to have sex with everyone else. The scene is built around everyone been comfortable to both say no thank you and accept a no thank you gracefully.

Your mind set framing it as some sort of terrible public rejection says to me that you and swinging are not really compatible currently.

Have you had any success on other sites such as Tinder etc?

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
over a year ago

Chester

"Agree with you, regards 15 year's ago it was easier to meet purely via the site's (was not fab, but S..). I as a single guy met a number of ladies and couples to mutual benefit.

However I feel, the greater public awareness of the lifestyle has attracted a lot of fantasists who love the idea until it comes to physically meeting, then ghosting..

I am now in the enviable position to be with Y and we (read her,

) have no issue attracting attention here.

But to the point, you can either continue bemoaning the situation or embrace that the game has changed and try something different.. Good luck! Mr

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it .

I change my profile on a regular basis to keep it up to date.

I post new face photos on a regular basis so people know what I look like now .

I update my status every day .

So to be honest. I do everything I can ,but I have my red lines I won't cross , IE , clubs and organised socials .

Also , being rejected online is one thing but being rejected in public , in person ,is on a totally different scale.At least being rejected online ,no one sees your reaction .

Well if you're not going to take people's advice. Carry on being unsuccessful

Thanks for your reply .With respect I have taken people's advice, when given about my profile and photos ,and made the appropriate changes .

I've followed your posts for the last year and the biggest and best piece of advice that's often been given and which you have never taken up is in regards to your attitude and mindset buddy.

Your negativity constantly comes out even when your likely trying to keep it in check. Negatively like that permutates and influences everything.

The most successful single male swingers we know are very average looking, with dad bods and pack and average size cock. What they have in spades is the right attitude and mindset.

Could not agree more with this. Positivity is everything.

Dave - I’ve held off on saying this directly, but I think it’s important now, and I’m sorry if this sounds harsh. But every time there’s a new forum thread from someone having trouble getting a meet, I always wonder if there’ll be some sort of pass-ag woe-is-me response from you, and I’m usually right. And there’s been several this morning alone. It’s this negativity that we’re talking about - and if I’ve noticed this pattern, I’m sure ladies local to you have as well. Reframing everything in a more positive light will make everyone feel better.

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By *alleyDave OP Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Agree with you, regards 15 year's ago it was easier to meet purely via the site's (was not fab, but S..). I as a single guy met a number of ladies and couples to mutual benefit.

However I feel, the greater public awareness of the lifestyle has attracted a lot of fantasists who love the idea until it comes to physically meeting, then ghosting..

I am now in the enviable position to be with Y and we (read her,

) have no issue attracting attention here.

But to the point, you can either continue bemoaning the situation or embrace that the game has changed and try something different.. Good luck! Mr

Thanks for your reply, I appreciate it .

I change my profile on a regular basis to keep it up to date.

I post new face photos on a regular basis so people know what I look like now .

I update my status every day .

So to be honest. I do everything I can ,but I have my red lines I won't cross , IE , clubs and organised socials .

Also , being rejected online is one thing but being rejected in public , in person ,is on a totally different scale.At least being rejected online ,no one sees your reaction .

Well if you're not going to take people's advice. Carry on being unsuccessful

Thanks for your reply .With respect I have taken people's advice, when given about my profile and photos ,and made the appropriate changes .

I've followed your posts for the last year and the biggest and best piece of advice that's often been given and which you have never taken up is in regards to your attitude and mindset buddy.

Your negativity constantly comes out even when your likely trying to keep it in check. Negatively like that permutates and influences everything.

The most successful single male swingers we know are very average looking, with dad bods and pack and average size cock. What they have in spades is the right attitude and mindset.

Could not agree more with this. Positivity is everything.

Thanks for your reply and advice. I suppose bring a typical ,old fashioned Yorkshireman , I tend to say it how I see it and speak my mind .

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