FabSwingers.com forum: How can a man stand out from the crowd?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work?

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By *rudiesCouple
over a year ago

here

By not sending a dick pics as a form of hello u will deffo be in the majority lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"By not sending a dick pics as a form of hello u will deffo be in the majority lol"

Second this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was hoping a perspective of the more normal guys then the idiots. I would never send a dic pic unless asked for. How anyone would think that would would is unbelievable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely no idea. Sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting out from behind your screen and going and meeting real people at events, socials and clubs is the best way to make proper connections.

99% of the men I have played with over the last 8 years have been guys I met in person at events, and who I wouldn't have ever met based just on their profile or whatever opening message they sent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fully understand this and do regularly go clubs. I’m just finding a way to validate of actually being on Fab at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fully understand this and do regularly go clubs. I’m just finding a way to validate of actually being on Fab at all."

I find fab is a great way of keeping intouch with club friends and seeing who is going to what party, but gave up trying to meet people direct off fab many moons ago after endless no-shows or flimsy excuses at the last minute.

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By *astandFeistyCouple
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Just use fab for the odd pic and veris. Use the forums to find people who may be going to a particular club you are and strike up conversation. Keep it clean mostly unless they initiate and you'll do just fine.

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By *lleyCat1969Man
over a year ago

Folkestone

I find sending a picture of a big cock downloaded from the internet, with a message saying 'I'll smash yer arse with this' usually works.

The number of people who have blocked me is amazing so I must be standing out from the crowd.

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs

Go to clubs and events to actually meet people. Use Fab to find and join events, and to keep in touch with people you’ve met. That works for me.

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

Does being a gentlemen always work?

Be always a gentleman because it's the right way to behave, not as a trick that "works". By your questions and responses it seems you are so you'll be fine in rust aspect

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "

Just be yourself. If you're going to stand out it's because people are interested in and attracted to you.

There's no magic wand.

For all the advice on going to clubs and organised socials, that only helps if you're confident in those situations and able to be social, mingle and engage with others face to face. Not everyone can. So forcing yourself to try those and then ending up stood in a corner being awkward isn't going to help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fact you cant accommodate, and say your in a relationship with consent who play together maybe put your couple profile otherwise women may presume you are cheating which will put many off

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By *heekyDemandCouple
over a year ago

Leicester

Being a gentleman does work, by crafting a message that isn't copy/paste, shows you have read the profile, gives is information able to form an objective response. We look at the profile, read the information, then we look at the pictures.

But, if your message just says "hey, wanna fuck?" then we honestly don't care if you have the most gorgeous body ever, ignorance is not sexy.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Just having a normal courtesy, knowing when to stop helps.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "

It is hard making yourself stand out but try to take some pics that are touch unusual, perhaps amusing - just something to show a bit of personality different from the crowd.

Then sexually perhaps try to develop something different and highlight it. Perhaps a kink or some skill or interest. You might put some off but at the same time those you are interested will be very interested. Rope/shibari is one example but could be lots of things. If you spent a little time developing an interest in this and taking pics you will stand out and more likely to click with those with similar interest. Just an example and could be many other things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being a gentleman does work, by crafting a message that isn't copy/paste, shows you have read the profile, gives is information able to form an objective response. We look at the profile, read the information, then we look at the pictures.

But, if your message just says "hey, wanna fuck?" then we honestly don't care if you have the most gorgeous body ever, ignorance is not sexy."

Hi Op

This is how you would stand out for me too. Like to add though not into pretense texts. Three weeks in and a few messages saying they like me or want to meet then ghost me after chatting for a week then that to me is pretense.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"Fully understand this and do regularly go clubs. I’m just finding a way to validate of actually being on Fab at all.

Yep, I'm exactly the same

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

Yep agreed on that and while good if you are the sort that likes those things really not needed. Perhaps varies by area but probably 90% of ladies and couples that meet men in my area don't go to clubs to do so and I've met loads of people in the past privately who don't go to clubs at all or very often. The club thing can be overstated on Forum at times.

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By *lavsecondMan
over a year ago

redditch

Set himself on fire!!!!!!!

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

OP, you are already standing out from the crowd- you have some decent photos, decent bio, a few veris and you know how to use the forum without throwing your toys out of the pram.

I believe many women and couples (myself included) have moved on from meeting through Fab to clubs and socials. As you are already attending a club, just continue what you've been doing and you'll be fine.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Be yourself, there isn’t another you.

Pretence is never attractive, and if you try to be something other than yourself then the mask will slip eventually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "

It's not much help for on here, more of a tip for the lifestyle as a whole, go out to clubs and social events, let people see who you are in person, build a network of friends and use fab as a way of keeping in contact more then a place to try and get Meets

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

The only thing I think you could change is to reroot your entire life and move it about 100 miles up north? Just spend more time at clubs, and only go on fab if it’s fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thankyou, I have changed my profile to be abit clearer

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"The fact you cant accommodate, and say your in a relationship with consent who play together maybe put your couple profile otherwise women may presume you are cheating which will put many off"

I've found being able to accommodate anytime hasn't helped me what so ever ,and my zero meets in over a year on here backs that up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's an approach you don't see very often on Fab that is a sure fire way to stand out.

Be funny. We have a friend who's profile is hilarious and stands out. He has women chasing him. He has loads of meets. His profile is unique.

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work?

Just be yourself. If you're going to stand out it's because people are interested in and attracted to you.

There's no magic wand.

See ,i fall in to the category of not being interested in going to clubs or organised socials.Dont get me wrong, I am more than happy to meet up for a coffee or a pint,or bite to eat in a cafe or pub to see if there is a connection or spark but clubs and large socials don't interest me. I'm more a one to one social in a public place bloke.

But everytime you see a thread on here about how to improve chances of meeting ,all you see is people saying go to clubs ,or go to organised socials.

Not everyone is wanting to attend large gatherings to meet people. I can't think of anything worse than being stood there being ignored in a club or large social.

Is there no place in the swinging scene for people like myself who are comfortable with a public one on one social, but have absolutely no interest in going to a club . ?

I'm starting to think ,after over a year on here ,and not having any meets ,not even for a social ,there is no place for people like me who are not interested in going to clubs to meet people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work?

Just be yourself. If you're going to stand out it's because people are interested in and attracted to you.

There's no magic wand.

But everytime you see a thread on here about how to improve chances of meeting ,all you see is people saying go to clubs ,or go to organised socials.

Not everyone is wanting to attend large gatherings to meet people. I can't think of anything worse than being stood there being ignored in a club or large social.

Is there no place in the swinging scene for people like myself who are comfortable with a public one on one social, but have absolutely no interest in going to a club . ?

I'm starting to think ,after over a year on here ,and not having any meets ,not even for a social ,there is no place for people like me who are not interested in going to clubs to meet people.

Sadly not Dave. There's no matchmaking service in the lifestyle.

I get that going to clubs in your own is daunting.

Going to a social is a bit different as its a bit more relaxed and there is less pressure. If you want to meet people you're going to have to go and meet people.

Fab is a poor way to actually meet people. We've not met anyone from Fab for months. I think we've had one meet all year.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"There's no magic wand".

I beg to differ.

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By *JizzyRascal-Man
over a year ago

stevenston

"I dont know" is the best answer I can give. Personally, I don't worry about what everyone else does or if I'm getting lost in a crowd, if they want to find me then they will. ???????

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By *xxLandNxxxCouple
over a year ago

Nuneaton

"Fully understand this and do regularly go clubs. I’m just finding a way to validate of actually being on Fab at all.

Exactly this, we’ve involved guys in clubs whose profile we wouldn’t look twice at. But fab is great for keeping in touch with events and contacts x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to get going in this scene ?? but finding it impossible I don't really even get a response

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

""There's no magic wand".

I beg to differ.

Not that kind of wand.

Perve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's not really being able to stand out.

If I find them attractive and I think we would get on well, we chat do a social see what happens.

There isn't any magic formula but first impressions count for sure.

It's not always easy being able to strike up a conversation out of thin air but being respectful and not sexually graphic goes a long way.

I know it's a site where people may choose to meet to have sex with others eventually but there is no need to be talking about positions and what you want in bed from the first message. Some may like that and you will never please everyone but being respectful and making others feel like they're being respected will help a lot.

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By *ebauchedDeviantsPt2Couple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Positivity is attractive, self pity is not.

I get that not everyone gets meets or responses but moaning about it will only make a meeting less likely. For a start it makes it look like you are pinning all your hopes of getting laid on fab, it’s a swingers website, not your entire life.

Someone has mentioned being funny, that is definitely a good way to attract people, we all like to laugh and feel good, we are attracted to people who make us feel that way. If you really must have a whinge then make it a funny whinge, you can get away with a lot more if you make people laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Talking normal cant hurt

Like I mean for the first.msg

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would love to get going in this scene ?? but finding it impossible I don't really even get a response "

There are not many of us on here but socials and clubs are the way to go from a fellow wheelie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Positivity is attractive, self pity is not.

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
over a year ago

Chester

"Positivity is attractive, self pity is not.

So much this. Posting a full-of-woe reply/post on the Forum is a guaranteed way to ensure I’d never reply to a message and I might even do a preemptive block. Harsh, but I’ve no time for negativity!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's really hard (no pun intended ha)

But i kinda need a little bit help getting about sometime. I know I'm probably just putting obstacles in the way cos I'm super nervous

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "

in a way you cant because ultimately its down to attraction and personality ... you could have all the best advice going but if theres no attraction then there be no meets..

my own advice is dont ask for advice as you'll end up like all the others who asked same ole boring profile if you want to stand out a bit more then take the bull by the horns and sort it out yourself that way its about you from you not strangers who dont know you...

and the advice about clubs for single men is thhee best way hands down for guys to get there feet on the swinging ladder .... but ultimately it will be down to looks and personality and confidence in yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm so nervous about it all

The clubs in my area are kinda not accessible to myself

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I'm so nervous about it all

The clubs in my area are kinda not accessible to myself

Hi pal

You ever heard the saying that being nervous was all for nothing. The clubs hold social events and staff I'd say make newbies feel welcome and remember you may not be the only newbie at the time. The clubs just have a twist from any other club give the swinging scene. Just treat folk similar to another club and remember the type of club it is

no finer way to put it

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By *etro1940sCouple
over a year ago

Kingston upon Thames

quality face pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know ur probably right like once I get into scene ill probably be like what was I worried about

What was u like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so nervous about it all

The clubs in my area are kinda not accessible to myself

Hi pal

no finer way to put it "

Do you go to any clubs or owt

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I'm so nervous about it all

The clubs in my area are kinda not accessible to myself

Hi pal

no finer way to put it

Do you go to any clubs or owt"

Nope pal

But think of it like when you were younger going for your first pint or even a night club was you nervous then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm so nervous about it all

The clubs in my area are kinda not accessible to myself

Hi pal

no finer way to put it

Do you go to any clubs or owt

Nope pal

But think of it like when you were younger going for your first pint or even a night club was you nervous then "

To be honest all that stuff is proper fucked up for me

I was 16 wen I had accident that made me in wheelchair

But yeah u get what you mean

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I'm so nervous about it all

The clubs in my area are kinda not accessible to myself

Hi pal

no finer way to put it

Do you go to any clubs or owt

Nope pal

But think of it like when you were younger going for your first pint or even a night club was you nervous then

To be honest all that stuff is proper fucked up for me

I was 16 wen I had accident that made me in wheelchair

But yeah u get what you mean "

Awe sorry to hear that pal but don't let That be an obstacle I'm sure others may attend in similar circumstances. Their is always the opportunity to find out more on the site from others including any mods or viewing the social events post/threads

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By *orl1971Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

It’s hard for a single guy to stand out when there are so many single guys plus a lot of guys ruining it for the good ones.

We have meet quite a few single guys as they are easier to find than couples. But we’ve had so many bad interactions and experiences that we have effectively ruled out all single guys. There might be genuine respectful, normal guys out there who we’d be interested in but it’s made difficult to pick them by the sheer volume of guys who are either timewasters, cheaters or just plain messed up. As a couple we just give up. Can’t imagine how frustrating it is for a single guy.

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By *eorgeyporgeyMan
over a year ago

Warrington

It's been some time since I was active, but for my 2p worth...

Socials work really well, but, if you're shy irl then it can be tough. I found that the key for me was to use "chat"... I was on camera (always on my face) and was as funny, friendly and respectful as I could be (they're not always the same, so some judgement is required). After a while I started chatting to the same people regularly and was invited to a party. Because I'd touched base with a few people I had folks to say hello to when I turned up there on my own and then came the next party and the next, verification after verification and,, asy confidence grew and I found my "voice", the way to express myself in my own way.

I'm not the only one who's managed this (and mine wasn't the only way) but I think that everyone needs patience. It won't happen overnight. It will happen, though and you'll definitely notice when your approach starts to work. Good luck

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By *untimeswithme69Man
over a year ago

London

Good pics.

Nice customised efforts at conversations.

Not being pushy / outcome dependant.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

With any site from tinder, bumble or fab {with the exception of match) the male to female ratio is always higher, which in term forces been to be more competitive while women can be more conservative.

My experience may not be the norm as I got my first meet within the first month of being on fab (we watched interstellar).

But I feel patience, persistence (not in stalking people but in keeping your head in there and not getting disheartened safter the 10th knock back), go to clubs and socials meet people, if you are into that kind of thing maybe apply for group sex or GBS. Don't focus on others, you can't control what other people achieve or get up to, don't focus on the anommolies

; The Tinder 17 percent.

And now importantly be yourself and respectful.

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By *urge72Man
over a year ago

oxfordshire & Hull

This is my approach:

1. Be respectful and treat others how you would want to be treated.

2. If approaching a couple NEVER blank the guy - would you like it if that happened to you?

3. Be honest with your profile; little point in trying to angle it to what you think they want to hear if it is BS!!

4. Get out there; on the forums and socials/meets. If you're locked in your room hoping to meet, that is all you can do.....hope!

5. NEVER send Dick pics, unless invited to do so.

6. Approach it like applying for a job; you are going to have to be patient and send lots of requests, and your profile is your CV - so put effort into it; You are never going to get anywhere with a one line profile stating "looking for a woman", you would never send a one line job application in saying "I want a job". This will then help you when people come across your profile.

7. Do not try too hard (YOU WHAT?!?!). Look to get socials - not laid! Socials can lead to the other and are fun. When looking for them state that there are no expectations from you side (and honour it!!!). If it leads somewhere - great! If not then at least you got out and learned something and hopefully enjoyed it! Maybe this does not align with many people, but for me friendships and laughter are more important than a quick shag!!

Think that's enough from me....

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By *rbane PlayerMan
over a year ago

London

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "

A number of points:

1) this game takes time

2) not everyone or couple will be into you and you may not be told why, take no reply as a negative reply, if you see what I am mean

3) know and state what you want from a contact and what you are prepared to give in return (e.g can accommodate, travel, efc)

4) nothing like going to clubs and socials: become known

5) if you are up for it, consider joining a gangbang group of men. Sometimes you may get to meet a couple from there (the couple will know you are real, turn up and can fuck-voilà!).

6) finally, being a gentleman works, there are lots of people who appreciate it especially when it comes to another man being around their beloved wives.

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By *iner69erMan
over a year ago

inverness

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "
I believe I'm always a gentleman,and it doesn't work.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? I believe I'm always a gentleman,and it doesn't work."

Being a gentleman is just normal behaviour people need to be compatible and not just in whatever each other are in to but attraction

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "

Not wanting to be critical, and with upmost respect , you have four meet verifications which I'd four more than a lot of us single blokes on here .

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

But, if your message just says "hey, wanna fuck?" then we honestly don't care if you have the most gorgeous body ever, ignorance is not sexy."

Being a gentleman only works towards older women, who have had enough bad boys and have outgrown that due to bad experience from dating said bad boys in their youth. For younger women, you won’t get a look-in if you are a gentleman.

Tailor your message accordingly towards how nature has structured things, lol.

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work?

Not wanting to be critical, and with upmost respect , you have four meet verifications which I'd four more than a lot of us single blokes on here ."

don’t hate the player, hate the game.

He is a man shooting for the moon, why should he rest on his laurels. Lol.

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

"This is my approach:

1. Be respectful and treat others how you would want to be treated.

2. If approaching a couple NEVER blank the guy - would you like it if that happened to you?

3. Be honest with your profile; little point in trying to angle it to what you think they want to hear if it is BS!!

4. Get out there; on the forums and socials/meets. If you're locked in your room hoping to meet, that is all you can do.....hope!

5. NEVER send Dick pics, unless invited to do so.

Think that's enough from me...."

How’s that working for you? Especially the socials part.

Genuinely interested to know.

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By *uckmonkeyMan
over a year ago

devon

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work?

Just be yourself. If you're going to stand out it's because people are interested in and attracted to you.

There's no magic wand.

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By *ittycock400Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

We find men who put the time in to craft a message and who remember that we are a couple to be most engaging.

We get really frustrated with guys who ask for 1-2-1s, or who send one liners like "wanna fuck now".

Please also put something on your profile other than dick pics.

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By *nly DickCouple (MM)
over a year ago

chichester

Send lots of dick pics , it usually impresses !

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

Getting yourself know on the scene for the right reasons is so important. So firstly don't hide away in the shadows. For single men on Fab who are successful that success tends to grow exponentially. So you tend to find a small percentage of guys getting a disproportionate amount of success over time. And a lot of that is to do with getting yourself a good name on the scene. Which has little to do with being a Chad or gym fit or having a huge cock. Can't give or make you a great guy. But I can say be yourself, don't be a dick and if you have the outgoing decent qualities people desire then don't be a shrinking violet. Because visibility for the right reason is king, reputations grow and people tend to look for reliable single guys over putting faith into the unknown. On FAB your can project yourself on the forums (many an opportunity has been created here). Or simply get yourself out into the club scene and start getting acquainted. Although avoid the error of careless visability for just visability sake on the forums. Avoid lame or creepy topics. Make sure what you do contribute has impact and puts you in good light.

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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago

Dumfries

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "

Grow a pampas grass on your head and stick an upside-down pineapple on your nose.

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

You can't.

It doesn't matter how witty your messages are as long as you make some effort AND are in the top 15% of facially attractive males!

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

"You can't.

It doesn't matter how witty your messages are as long as you make some effort AND are in the top 15% of facially attractive males!"
Male half here. If you had to be in the top 15% of facially attractive males to get laid, I would still be a virgin! I have spent my life doing what many men, and probably a few women, would call punching. When I was single and in my mid thirties to mid to late forties I did relatively well here and elsewhere for years and then hit the jackpot with my partner who is objectively physically attractive and wonderful in every other way too. Luckily she, most women don’t focus exclusively on looks, colour or cock size as so many men here seem to think. What I found worked was being nice, smart, funny, confident, and actually really enjoying women’s company. Being genuinely single and able to accommodate in my own home probably put me in the top 15% of men on Fab looking to be fair! When we choose who we would like to play with here we focus on people who we feel would be nice primarily. Maybe I was just lucky, who knows.

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"You can't.

It doesn't matter how witty your messages are as long as you make some effort AND are in the top 15% of facially attractive males!Male half here. If you had to be in the top 15% of facially attractive males to get laid, I would still be a virgin! I have spent my life doing what many men, and probably a few women, would call punching. When I was single and in my mid thirties to mid to late forties I did relatively well here and elsewhere for years and then hit the jackpot with my partner who is objectively physically attractive and wonderful in every other way too. Luckily she, most women don’t focus exclusively on looks, colour or cock size as so many men here seem to think. What I found worked was being nice, smart, funny, confident, and actually really enjoying women’s company. Being genuinely single and able to accommodate in my own home probably put me in the top 15% of men on Fab looking to be fair! When we choose who we would like to play with here we focus on people who we feel would be nice primarily. Maybe I was just lucky, who knows. "

To be honest ,being genuinely single and able to accommodate in my own home has done me no favours on here what so ever.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

"You can't.

To be honest ,being genuinely single and able to accommodate in my own home has done me no favours on here what so ever."
To be honest then, give up, get used to a life of celibacy. The other option, which I don’t think you will take, is to think hard about all the advice you have been given in this thread, act upon it, and adopt a more positive and proactive mindset.

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

As others have said, go to events!

Also on fab, be positive, find your own uniqueness and keep it cheerful.

You want to present the best version of yourself so moaning about things won’t help!

(I’m not saying the op is moaning btw)

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By *awg-mo-thoinWoman
over a year ago

Belfast

But, if your message just says "hey, wanna fuck?" then we honestly don't care if you have the most gorgeous body ever, ignorance is not sexy.

Tailor your message accordingly towards how nature has structured things, lol."

How good of you to speak on behalf of us women!

can I add as a younger woman, if someone “tailored their message towards how nature has structured things”, I’d block them so fast they’d think they were in a time warp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we were looking for a single man (which we are not - but I still read a few men’s profiles out of curiosity), we have a strict criteria…

100% straight

Intelligent (must be socially comfortable and can hold a conversation)

Respectful

Handsome

Good body

Verified to Fab and through meets

No bareback Fab meets - clean please!

Selective with who they meet

Being a “gentleman” should be a given - to me it’s called being a decent man

Not cheating on wife or gf

No gangbangers or TS history/interests

Yes, I’m selective, as is my right. I know what I like. On here with my husband who is exceptional himself, so why would I consider any less?

Obviously, everyone on here has their own likes/dislikes, but hope this helps!

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By *ustaverageguyMan
over a year ago

Durham

But, if your message just says "hey, wanna fuck?" then we honestly don't care if you have the most gorgeous body ever, ignorance is not sexy."

This is how I try to approach messages, make the message specific to the person / couple I’m sending it to. Takes a bit more time & effort, but I think the “effort” is reflected in the quality of responses etc. be polite, courteous and “normal” - how you would approach a stranger out and about.

I feel that people who respond positively to “wanna fuck” are maybe people I wouldn’t want to?! ???????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find if you follow all the advice given regarding messages, couples and women still don't reply. I'm I really that ugly / fat? That must be the only conclusion as I rarely get any messages saying no thanks. I just find it annoying that women and couples complain about single men, and cock photos but don't reply or attempt to start a conservation with the genuine guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I find if you follow all the advice given regarding messages, couples and women still don't reply. I'm I really that ugly / fat? That must be the only conclusion as I rarely get any messages saying no thanks. I just find it annoying that women and couples complain about single men, and cock photos but don't reply or attempt to start a conservation with the genuine guys."

I agree a simple they go on about repeate messages. Well yeah, that's because they don't reply and how are we supposed to know if no response

The person may have simply forgotten to reply

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
over a year ago

Chester

I agree a simple they go on about repeate messages. Well yeah, that's because they don't reply and how are we supposed to know if no response

The person may have simply forgotten to reply "

‘They’ don’t reply because, as is quite clear from the site guidelines, no reply is a no. And because of the aforementioned ratio of women/men if I wrote a polite thanks-but-no-thanks to every message I wasn’t interested in, I’d be here all day. It’s very unlikely that I’d just forget to reply to a message from someone I was interested in.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

I agree a simple they go on about repeate messages. Well yeah, that's because they don't reply and how are we supposed to know if no response

The person may have simply forgotten to reply "
No one forgets to reply to someone they want sex with. No reply means they don’t want to have sex with you. Does a thanks but no thanks or detailed reply as to why they don’t want sex with you make you feel better? It doesn’t for me. Saying that, we do usually reply with thanks but no thanks if someone has put some effort in but never expect to receive one if we are not what someone is looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree a simple they go on about repeate messages. Well yeah, that's because they don't reply and how are we supposed to know if no response

The person may have simply forgotten to reply No one forgets to reply to someone they want sex with. No reply means they don’t want to have sex with you. Does a thanks but no thanks or detailed reply as to why they don’t want sex with you make you feel better? It doesn’t for me. Saying that, we do usually reply with thanks but no thanks if someone has put some effort in but never expect to receive one if we are not what someone is looking for."

Yeah that's what I mean like if someone says hello to you in the street, like "hi morning " you don't just flat out ignore them

And as for forgetting who knows what happened their house might have set on fire aka more pressing events may have taken their attention

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

It's worth noting that if you reply to someone you're not interested in, they can override your filters if you change them later down the line. Irritating!

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By *lueDressWoman
over a year ago

Bath

The only way to stand out is to be somebody's type. It does help if you've got a nicely written profile. Not too many testimonials. And no dick pics. Unless she asks specifically.

For instance I've been clubbing and I've been approached by several males. I said hello, and have been very polite, but declined a drink. One guy stands out for Me. Because he's My type. I let him buy Me that drink.

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By *nkforthekinkMan
over a year ago

london/fareham/brighton

Send as many dick pics as you can

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By *straeus and AthenaCouple
over a year ago

Canterbury

1. You need to appreciate that you would not have been the only message they had received that day, some people get a lot and it would take all day to reply to them.

2. When we have said no thanks to single men, more often than not that has been seen as opening a discussion and not a statement of fact. In our experience that has happened on 3/4 of occasions so it is just easier to ignore.

3. No reply is a no thanks, it does say this in the site rules and is not really up for debate.

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By *rith47Man
over a year ago

Erith

Be yourself.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I think you have to stand up and shout "YOU'RE THE ONE FOR ME!"

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"Send as many dick pics as you can "

Or tease them with you nadgers

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By *he Silver FuxMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

Really long stilts and a Top Hat

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

True.

You can't win on fab unless in the top 20. Which is fine. Thems the odds.

Apparently if the 80% go to clubs the same women who rejected us will be more likely to be interested in person as they can get a read on us as people.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

True.

You can't win on fab unless in the top 20. Which is fine. Thems the odds.

Apparently if the 80% go to clubs the same women who rejected us will be more likely to be interested in person as they can get a read on us as people.

I am absolutely baffled why any man would come to Fab to find single women for sex. I do understand why single women do. Fab is a tiny, almost infinitesimally small subset of the women who are interested in sex without a relationship so why even bother? If you are honest on ordinary dating sites or the pub, or clubs there are loads out there. I can remember many years ago double checking with a woman I was meeting from POF that she knew I was only looking for a FWB as her profile said looking for a LTR. She confirmed she knew the score and was more than happy with that but didn’t reveal that on her profile as she would be inundated. Obviously don’t be dick, don’t contact women way out of your league, don’t be negative, be happy and positive and don’t be a dick, or you will end up feeling just as defeated as the OP.

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By *rpeggioCouple
over a year ago

Baughurst

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

Is it any different outside Fab? Does anyone think it should be different? Why? Physical Attraction patterns between men and women are both cultural and evolutionary, so this is totally unsurprising. Actually, I believe outside Fab men have more chances, because their personality can attract some women, while here it is only the photos and a few words in men profiles that women see/read.

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

So ,what would you say gets a male into the 'top 20%"

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"You can't.

To be honest ,being genuinely single and able to accommodate in my own home has done me no favours on here what so ever.To be honest then, give up, get used to a life of celibacy. The other option, which I don’t think you will take, is to think hard about all the advice you have been given in this thread, act upon it, and adopt a more positive and proactive mindset. "

Thanks for your reply . I tey to be as proactive as I can ,and regularly update my profile bio, and always add up to date face photos, so people can see exactly what I look like now .

But clubs and organised socials are definitely not for me ,although I am more than happy to meet for a one on one social in a public place for a coffee, pint or bite to eat to see if there is a spark and attraction.

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"If we were looking for a single man (which we are not - but I still read a few men’s profiles out of curiosity), we have a strict criteria…

100% straight

Intelligent (must be socially comfortable and can hold a conversation)

Respectful

Handsome

Good body

Verified to Fab and through meets

No bareback Fab meets - clean please!

Selective with who they meet

Being a “gentleman” should be a given - to me it’s called being a decent man

Not cheating on wife or gf

No gangbangers or TS history/interests

Yes, I’m selective, as is my right. I know what I like. On here with my husband who is exceptional himself, so why would I consider any less?

Obviously, everyone on here has their own likes/dislikes, but hope this helps!"

And there lies the problem to a lot of us single blokes on here .

You say you will only meet single blokes who are verified with meets , but how are we supposed to get " verified by meets ",if no one will meet us unverified blokes . ?

It's a vicious circle.

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By *ueerKinkyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge (She/They And They/Them)

“Why don’t women respond?” - I’m a nerd so let’s do the maths!

Your rules:

- women must respond to nice messages

- women must meet ”genuine” men.

Let’s do the maths...

WEEK ONE:

Monday: Three nice men get in touch. Be friendly to each. Time taken - 30 mins.

Tuesday: Three more nice men get in touch. Chat to each of them. Mustn’t ignore because they’re nice and they’ve written a personalised first message. Must also chat to yesterday’s men. Time taken - 60 mins

Weds: Three more men bring the total to nine. Time taken - 90 mins.

Thurs - three more. 120 mins.

Friday - three more. 150 mins.

Saturday - Three more. Today, I have time to meet one of these guys so I’m not accused of not meeting “genuine guys”. But I’m talking to 18 nice guys. Which one do I meet? If I do two-hour meets with all of them, it’d take 36 hours and there are only 24 hours in the day. I meet one guy.

Sunday - the guy I met veris me. Half of the guys I’m talking to shout at me. They had assumed they would be the next one when I got a spare moment. Three more nice new guys get in touch bringing the total to 21.

WEEK TWO - total number of guys I’m talking to reaches 42 and it takes 420 minutes per day (seven hours) to chat to them all if I give them ten minutes each. I mustn’t drop any because they’ll go into the forum and moan about how the were suddenly dropped for no reason at all. And I mustn’t ignore any of the new nice men because they’re entitled to an answer.

WEEK THREE - 21 more nice men show up bringing the total to 63 (taking 630 minutes per day - ten and a half hours per day)

WEEK FOUR - 21 more nice men. The total is now 84 (840 mins or 14 hours per day).

By WEEK SEVEN, I’m talking to 147 nice men. At just ten minutes each per day, it takes me 1470 minutes to respond. That twenty four and a half hours per day.

You see? These rules are MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to follow by week seven.

If I’ve met one guy each week, I’ve met seven out of the 147 I’m talking to and it’ll take me nearly three years to clear the back log.

So women choose who they respond to and who they have sex with.

Entitled men get offended and angry. “These women should respond. I sent a nice message. The least she could do is answer. This is a sex site. I bet they’re all after gym-fit men with big cocks. They don’t even give the rest of us a chance”...

This type of belief is a MASSIVE red flag. No one is ENTITLED to a reply, or to sex or to any attention at all. It is mathematically impossible for women to do what you’re asking.

The men who do well put in significant effort with their profile, their photos, they chat, they accommodate, the go to socials and clubs, they gain and display veris, chat nicely in the forums. They’re still owed nothing.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

“Why don’t women respond?” - I’m a nerd so let’s do the maths!

Your rules:

- women must respond to nice messages

- women must meet ”genuine” men.

Let’s do the maths...

WEEK ONE:

Monday: Three nice men get in touch. Be friendly to each. Time taken - 30 mins.

Weds: Three more men bring the total to nine. Time taken - 90 mins.

Thurs - three more. 120 mins.

Friday - three more. 150 mins.

WEEK THREE - 21 more nice men show up bringing the total to 63 (taking 630 minutes per day - ten and a half hours per day)

WEEK FOUR - 21 more nice men. The total is now 84 (840 mins or 14 hours per day).

By WEEK SEVEN, I’m talking to 147 nice men. At just ten minutes each per day, it takes me 1470 minutes to respond. That twenty four and a half hours per day.

You see? These rules are MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to follow by week seven.

If I’ve met one guy each week, I’ve met seven out of the 147 I’m talking to and it’ll take me nearly three years to clear the back log.

So women choose who they respond to and who they have sex with.

This type of belief is a MASSIVE red flag. No one is ENTITLED to a reply, or to sex or to any attention at all. It is mathematically impossible for women to do what you’re asking.

This is it, hands down the best post I've seen on the forum!!! X

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By *ueerKinkyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge (She/They And They/Them)

Thanks. I’m a bit of a nerd, so any excuse to do maths!

Dee

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

But, if your message just says "hey, wanna fuck?" then we honestly don't care if you have the most gorgeous body ever, ignorance is not sexy.

Tailor your message accordingly towards how nature has structured things, lol."

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

“Why don’t women respond?” - I’m a nerd so let’s do the maths!

Your rules:

- women must respond to nice messages

- women must meet ”genuine” men.

Let’s do the maths...

WEEK ONE:

Monday: Three nice men get in touch. Be friendly to each. Time taken - 30 mins.

Weds: Three more men bring the total to nine. Time taken - 90 mins.

Thurs - three more. 120 mins.

Friday - three more. 150 mins.

WEEK THREE - 21 more nice men show up bringing the total to 63 (taking 630 minutes per day - ten and a half hours per day)

WEEK FOUR - 21 more nice men. The total is now 84 (840 mins or 14 hours per day).

By WEEK SEVEN, I’m talking to 147 nice men. At just ten minutes each per day, it takes me 1470 minutes to respond. That twenty four and a half hours per day.

You see? These rules are MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to follow by week seven.

If I’ve met one guy each week, I’ve met seven out of the 147 I’m talking to and it’ll take me nearly three years to clear the back log.

So women choose who they respond to and who they have sex with.

This type of belief is a MASSIVE red flag. No one is ENTITLED to a reply, or to sex or to any attention at all. It is mathematically impossible for women to do what you’re asking.

Love this

Bottom line, and this has been brought up before, is that women will not meet guys they are not attracted to. It doesn’t mean that all men have to be over six foot tall, with ripped abs, beards, a 9-inch cock, etc- if guys are not attractive to them- they won’t reply. Simple as that.

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

So ,what would you say gets a male into the 'top 20%""

You have to max out your looks whether you want to or not. Be the best version of yourself. Women want a guy in good shape. This isn’t just on Fabswingers. But, because you’re online and there’s no face to face interaction for a man to create attraction within her, how you look becomes ever more important.

You have to do the work.

Women aren’t interested in average guys. They want the best they can get.

It’s evolutionary behaviour. She wants to breed with the strongest male she can, athleticism communicates this to her primal hind-brain that he would be a good bet to give her children and for her and those children to survive.

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By *straeus and AthenaCouple
over a year ago

Canterbury

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

So ,what would you say gets a male into the 'top 20%"

You have to do the work.

Women aren’t interested in average guys. They want the best they can get.

This is straight out of the incel playbook and is just plain bad advice (or hopefully sarcasm!)

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By *cnugatugMan
over a year ago

Chatham

Try to be different don't send the usual hello fancy a shag message nore sending Dick pics they get you no where all cocks look alike tbh try being original and unique ladies appreciate about of thought and effort in there messages I'm no Clooney nore am I good at flirting but given time patience and being original has got me a couple of meets just be yourself really don't follow the countless guys that don't put in the work getting a meet takes trust time and patience

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By *ustaverageguyMan
over a year ago

Durham

“Why don’t women respond?” - I’m a nerd so let’s do the maths!

Your rules:

- women must respond to nice messages

- women must meet ”genuine” men.

Let’s do the maths...

WEEK ONE:

Monday: Three nice men get in touch. Be friendly to each. Time taken - 30 mins.

Weds: Three more men bring the total to nine. Time taken - 90 mins.

Thurs - three more. 120 mins.

Friday - three more. 150 mins.

WEEK THREE - 21 more nice men show up bringing the total to 63 (taking 630 minutes per day - ten and a half hours per day)

WEEK FOUR - 21 more nice men. The total is now 84 (840 mins or 14 hours per day).

By WEEK SEVEN, I’m talking to 147 nice men. At just ten minutes each per day, it takes me 1470 minutes to respond. That twenty four and a half hours per day.

You see? These rules are MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to follow by week seven.

If I’ve met one guy each week, I’ve met seven out of the 147 I’m talking to and it’ll take me nearly three years to clear the back log.

So women choose who they respond to and who they have sex with.

This type of belief is a MASSIVE red flag. No one is ENTITLED to a reply, or to sex or to any attention at all. It is mathematically impossible for women to do what you’re asking.

Absolutely love this reply! ????????????

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By *urge72Man
over a year ago

oxfordshire & Hull

“Why don’t women respond?” - I’m a nerd so let’s do the maths!

Your rules:

- women must respond to nice messages

- women must meet ”genuine” men.

Let’s do the maths...

WEEK ONE:

Monday: Three nice men get in touch. Be friendly to each. Time taken - 30 mins.

Weds: Three more men bring the total to nine. Time taken - 90 mins.

Thurs - three more. 120 mins.

Friday - three more. 150 mins.

WEEK THREE - 21 more nice men show up bringing the total to 63 (taking 630 minutes per day - ten and a half hours per day)

WEEK FOUR - 21 more nice men. The total is now 84 (840 mins or 14 hours per day).

By WEEK SEVEN, I’m talking to 147 nice men. At just ten minutes each per day, it takes me 1470 minutes to respond. That twenty four and a half hours per day.

You see? These rules are MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to follow by week seven.

If I’ve met one guy each week, I’ve met seven out of the 147 I’m talking to and it’ll take me nearly three years to clear the back log.

So women choose who they respond to and who they have sex with.

This type of belief is a MASSIVE red flag. No one is ENTITLED to a reply, or to sex or to any attention at all. It is mathematically impossible for women to do what you’re asking.

Let's be honest, if there are ladies getting in excess of 100 or even 200 posts a day, it genuinely is not possible to please all of the people. Some will slip through gaps, some will just get blown out without even a look where a woman/couple says "Sod it" and purges their mailbox. Some have screen shot me their mail_oxes showing 900+, 1100 + unread messages. We as guys and even couples/females have to accept that some people just get inundated and they also have lives outside of Fab. Its little wonder we dont hear back, through no fault of the recipient of our request.

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By *atandasmileMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

WEEK ONE:

Time taken - 30 mins.

...

WEEK TWO - total number of guys I’m talking to reaches 42 and it takes 420 minutes per day

...

By WEEK SEVEN, I’m talking to 147 nice men. At just ten minutes each per day, it takes me 1470 minutes to respond. "

I've never seen anyone squeeze an arithmetic series into fab.

Congratulations. Love it.

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

So ,what would you say gets a male into the 'top 20%"

You have to do the work.

Women aren’t interested in average guys. They want the best they can get.

With respect we aren't all gym bunnies with ripped bodies ,and nor want to be . Some of us accept the body we have . For me a dry sense of humour, straight talking and a "natural "body is far more attractive than a gym body .

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

“Why don’t women respond?” - I’m a nerd so let’s do the maths!

Your rules:

- women must respond to nice messages

- women must meet ”genuine” men.

Let’s do the maths...

WEEK ONE:

Monday: Three nice men get in touch. Be friendly to each. Time taken - 30 mins.

Weds: Three more men bring the total to nine. Time taken - 90 mins.

Thurs - three more. 120 mins.

Friday - three more. 150 mins.

WEEK THREE - 21 more nice men show up bringing the total to 63 (taking 630 minutes per day - ten and a half hours per day)

WEEK FOUR - 21 more nice men. The total is now 84 (840 mins or 14 hours per day).

By WEEK SEVEN, I’m talking to 147 nice men. At just ten minutes each per day, it takes me 1470 minutes to respond. That twenty four and a half hours per day.

You see? These rules are MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to follow by week seven.

If I’ve met one guy each week, I’ve met seven out of the 147 I’m talking to and it’ll take me nearly three years to clear the back log.

So women choose who they respond to and who they have sex with.

This type of belief is a MASSIVE red flag. No one is ENTITLED to a reply, or to sex or to any attention at all. It is mathematically impossible for women to do what you’re asking.

So ,are you saying that all us single blokes who constantly put time and effort into updating our profiles, regularly posting new up to date photos and can accommodate are waisting our time if we aren't interested in going to clubs and organised socials. ?

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

"It's worth noting that if you reply to someone you're not interested in, they can override your filters if you change them later down the line. Irritating!"

That is a very good point, occasionally irritating on our couples account when we used to have filters!

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

Possibly, in a physical meet situation that’s not one on one, a couple or single lady can see you in 3d and see how you interact with people and them. Rather than just read words on a screen or a picture that’s someone’s best angle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read the profiles, hight percentage don’t want single men so it’s about doing your homework to start with!

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By *unthum62Man
over a year ago

Benidorm

"Read the profiles, hight percentage don’t want single men so it’s about doing your homework to start with! "

This is good advice.

As to the OPs question.

From my experience being honest, able to type complete sentences, not sending nasty fap snaps or a list of your highly unlikely sexual desires in a first message and most importantly reading and responding to the recipients profile and what they are looking for will put you in a much smaller group than the "copy and paste, dick pic, hey babe wanna fuck" types.

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

So ,what would you say gets a male into the 'top 20%"

You have to do the work.

Women aren’t interested in average guys. They want the best they can get.

You’re missing the point. You have to accept the realties of how the sexual marketplace works. Even more so online where you’re not face-to-face with a woman. Whether you believe being straight talking and having a dry sense of humour is more attractive than a gym body is irrelevant.

You’re not trying to attract yourself to have sex with, are you?

You don’t have to be ‘ripped’, or have a six-pack, but, you need to be in decent shape - look like you work out.

You aren’t going to get a chance to woo her with that dry sense of humour unless you have great photos. It’s the foot in the door. It’s annoying, it’s harsh, but, it’s an objective truth. It’s the same on Tinder and other dating apps. Photos matter.

As you’re struggling so much and struggling to take good photos, I’d advise paying to get some professionally done and hit the gym.

Least then, it gives you the best chance possible of her scrolling down reading your profile and being curious and interested enough to respond to you.

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

You aren’t going to get a chance to woo her with that dry sense of humour unless you have great photos. It’s the foot in the door. It’s annoying, it’s harsh, but, it’s an objective truth.

It is not the objective truth, it is your very subjective take on how the world works. We rarely meet single men, but the urge arose when abroad. Two potentials appeared using who’s near. One late thirties, ripped the other early 60s, very definitely not ripped. Offered the choice to the female of the couple as she gets final say and she chose older guy because he came across better in his profile as someone we would like to meet and play with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very good advice!

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By *ueerKinkyCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge (She/They And They/Them)

" So ,are you saying that all us single blokes who constantly put time and effort into updating our profiles, regularly posting new up to date photos and can accommodate are waisting our time if we aren't interested in going to clubs and organised socials. ? "

Let me explain again for you.

I have shown how the expectation held by some men (that women owe them interaction, providing they’ve been nice to the women concerned) is mathematically impossible.

I went on to state the combination of factors which will increase the chance of success in swinging.

If my long posts was tricky for you to comprehend, it’s worth rereading it. Certainly you’ve either misunderstood, or chosen to misrepresent, what I said to justify feeling let down by unresponsive women.

Just as a principle though, you aren’t entitled to any response from anyone. And being decent to women isn’t a means to an end (the end being you get to fuck one). Humans being decent to other humans is just what decent people do.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

Let me explain again for you.

I have shown how the expectation held by some men (that women owe them interaction, providing they’ve been nice to the women concerned) is mathematically impossible.

I went on to state the combination of factors which will increase the chance of success in swinging.

Fab, we need a clap emoji!

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By *iglimoMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

So ,what would you say gets a male into the 'top 20%"

You have to do the work.

Women aren’t interested in average guys. They want the best they can get.

You’re not trying to attract yourself to have sex with, are you?

You don’t have to be ‘ripped’, or have a six-pack, but, you need to be in decent shape - look like you work out.

As you’re struggling so much and struggling to take good photos, I’d advise paying to get some professionally done and hit the gym.

Least then, it gives you the best chance possible of her scrolling down reading your profile and being curious and interested enough to respondto you.

I don't think my photos are bad .I update them weekly. But I disagree with you about having to hit the gym to "change" my body just to suit others .I would be very expect anyone to hit the gym to impress me ,and I find it deeply saddening ,that anyone should be pressured into changing their body just to be accepted . I find that horrendous to be honest .

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it.

Let me explain again for you.

I have shown how the expectation held by some men (that women owe them interaction, providing they’ve been nice to the women concerned) is mathematically impossible.

I went on to state the combination of factors which will increase the chance of success in swinging.

Thank you for your reply , I appreciate it. No I don't expect a reply from people who aren't attracted to me .obviously not everyone is attracted to everyone else, and everyone has different tastes .

I will persevere, and maybe one day I will find someone who is attracted to me enough to meet me for a social for a coffee ,or a pint .

Take care .

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

So ,what would you say gets a male into the 'top 20%"

You have to do the work.

Women aren’t interested in average guys. They want the best they can get.

You’re not trying to attract yourself to have sex with, are you?

You don’t have to be ‘ripped’, or have a six-pack, but, you need to be in decent shape - look like you work out.

As you’re struggling so much and struggling to take good photos, I’d advise paying to get some professionally done and hit the gym.

Least then, it gives you the best chance possible of her scrolling down reading your profile and being curious and interested enough to respondto you.

You had a lot of feedback about your pics in another thread but haven't taken it on board, but the main thing is that you're happy with them. X

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By *he-Hosiery-GentMan
over a year ago

Older Hot Bearded Guy

"The sexual market place roughly works as follows and you see proof of this on Fabswingers

100% of women are after the top 20% of men

80% of men are after 100% of the women

The top 20% of men have the pick of who they want, as do all the women.

This explains why women get 100’s of messages and the majority of guys get nowhere

So ,what would you say gets a male into the 'top 20%"

You have to do the work.

Women aren’t interested in average guys. They want the best they can get.

You’re not trying to attract yourself to have sex with, are you?

You don’t have to be ‘ripped’, or have a six-pack, but, you need to be in decent shape - look like you work out.

As you’re struggling so much and struggling to take good photos, I’d advise paying to get some professionally done and hit the gym.

Least then, it gives you the best chance possible of her scrolling down reading your profile and being curious and interested enough to respondto you.

It’s not about what you believe is right or acceptable. It’s what the marketplace dictates. You’re trying to sell yourself, you need to be positioning yourself in the best way possible to achieve your desired outcome.

What holds a lot of men back in dating in general is we’re egocentric, we don’t think we have to change anything and should be accepted just as we are.

It simply doesn’t work like this.

Until you change your mindset you’re not going to get anywhere.

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By *quirt1810Woman
over a year ago

Temple Bar

"Getting out from behind your screen and going and meeting real people at events, socials and clubs is the best way to make proper connections.

99% of the men I have played with over the last 8 years have been guys I met in person at events, and who I wouldn't have ever met based just on their profile or whatever opening message they sent.

My sentiment exactly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I try and stand out by sending a poem unique to them based on their profile. Shows you've taken the time to read their profile, and made the effort to write something else other than an obvious copy-paste job

That's not to say it works of course... but that's how I've tried approaching things.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

"Personally, I try and stand out by sending a poem unique to them based on their profile. Shows you've taken the time to read their profile, and made the effort to write something else other than an obvious copy-paste job

That's not to say it works of course... but that's how I've tried approaching things."

In messages crafted with flair,

He writes poems with utmost care,

From profiles he glean,

A verse that's unseen,

Standing out, showing he is rare.

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By *roublemakers!Couple
over a year ago

Folkestone, Kent UK

[Removed by poster at 13/08/23 17:49:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Why don’t women respond?” - I’m a nerd so let’s do the maths!

Your rules:

- women must respond to nice messages

- women must meet ”genuine” men.

Let’s do the maths...

WEEK ONE:

Monday: Three nice men get in touch. Be friendly to each. Time taken - 30 mins.

Weds: Three more men bring the total to nine. Time taken - 90 mins.

Thurs - three more. 120 mins.

Friday - three more. 150 mins.

WEEK THREE - 21 more nice men show up bringing the total to 63 (taking 630 minutes per day - ten and a half hours per day)

WEEK FOUR - 21 more nice men. The total is now 84 (840 mins or 14 hours per day).

By WEEK SEVEN, I’m talking to 147 nice men. At just ten minutes each per day, it takes me 1470 minutes to respond. That twenty four and a half hours per day.

You see? These rules are MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to follow by week seven.

If I’ve met one guy each week, I’ve met seven out of the 147 I’m talking to and it’ll take me nearly three years to clear the back log.

So women choose who they respond to and who they have sex with.

This type of belief is a MASSIVE red flag. No one is ENTITLED to a reply, or to sex or to any attention at all. It is mathematically impossible for women to do what you’re asking.

Best post ever!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's not to say it works of course... but that's how I've tried approaching things."

A poem!??

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

[Removed by poster at 20/08/23 06:30:01]

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By *aGaGagging for itCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

You've been on here 3 months and have 6 verifications - you're standing out from the crowd!

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By *orny-DJMan
over a year ago

Leigh-on-Sea

You can only be yourself.

So many come on fab thinking that there's some magic formula or secret handshake to unlocking meets but it's all about whether someone finds you attractive or not, and there's only likely to be a handful of people that will and chances are, you'll only be attracted to about half of those.

Believe it or not, it's jusst like it is in the real world.

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By *oxesMan
over a year ago

Southend, Essex

"You've been on here 3 months and have 6 verifications - you're standing out from the crowd!"

You make a really good point. Many men have to wait a year to even get 1 vari. You have got 6 3 months which is well above the norm.

OP you're an annomoley in that regards.a year in the swinging world is short term. You have bee. I. Here 3months.

My advice to you is to be patient and enjoy yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

6 veri in 3month. Fuck im lucky to get 6 message replies

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"With the ratio of men to women being so unbalanced how can a man stand out from the rest. What is the best approach? Is there things to avoid on profiles? Does being a gentlemen always work? "

My view is you are doing a he'll of a lot better than most of us single blokes on here .you have had six meet verifications in the three months you have been on here . A lot of us havnt had any meets in over a year on Fab.

With respect, I wouldn't complain if was you mate . You are obviously doing something right ,and your profile obviously works .

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

"Fully understand this and do regularly go clubs. I’m just finding a way to validate of actually being on Fab at all."

Your profile says you are in a couple and have a couple profile also.

I haven't looked.. presumably that's working ok for you both and your single verifications state repeat meets so I'm not sure how much more validation you want.

Some guys never get a chance to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fully understand this and do regularly go clubs. I’m just finding a way to validate of actually being on Fab at all.

Your profile says you are in a couple and have a couple profile also.

I haven't looked.. presumably that's working ok for you both and your single verifications state repeat meets so I'm not sure how much more validation you want.

Some guys never get a chance to meet."

Totally agree.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Be able to hold a conversation and talk about something other than sex. That seems to be a rarity around these parts

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Fully understand this and do regularly go clubs. I’m just finding a way to validate of actually being on Fab at all.

Your profile says you are in a couple and have a couple profile also.

I haven't looked.. presumably that's working ok for you both and your single verifications state repeat meets so I'm not sure how much more validation you want.

Some guys never get a chance to meet."

I can vouch for your last sentence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/08/23 21:15:56]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be a troll like me, you'll stand out a mile

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