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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " Don’t read too much into it. You are definitely not ugly. Everyone has off nights at clubs. We’ve been swinging for over 20 years and our last visit to a club in the uk was a total washout. Now you’ve posted this you’ll get all the white knights offering to take you to a club and look after you so really don’t worry about it. You’re fine as you are. | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. Don’t read too much into it. You are definitely not ugly. Everyone has off nights at clubs. We’ve been swinging for over 20 years and our last visit to a club in the uk was a total washout. Now you’ve posted this you’ll get all the white knights offering to take you to a club and look after you so really don’t worry about it. You’re fine as you are. " Thank you for your kind words just hard when you have your confidence knocked a bit I will try again another night | |||
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"Honestly your fine, it happens I've had nights where it felt like I had a ring around me of do not pass haha, it swings in roundabouts. " Thank you for your kind words | |||
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"Clubs are funny. Sometimes there is nobody to talk to. We have been few times when we left without even talking to anyone. " Maybe I picked the wrong night | |||
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"See that’s why I would struggle at a club , I’m really quite shy though I hold a great conversation but also not sure how people would react To me in my underwear lol " I'm sure you would be okay I'm. Shy too and I thing you in underwear would look hot | |||
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"So I would say it happens. I can chat for england and often do but sometimes in a club I go shy. So people think I am not interested. People to talk to me and actually yesterday a few people approached me. Which caught me off guard " I am shy too maybe that's it | |||
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"It can really depend on how you are at a club, do you approach people and try to engage? If it's a night that the clubs full of new, shy people then it maybe that people are just nervous etc, we've been loads of times and not chatted much and we're pretty outgoing.. just mark it down as a bad night! X" Definately one for the bad night book | |||
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"I love your profile... It's sensible and just ... Nice. I love the look of you. You have a nice body and a nice face from what I can see. I'd have no hesitation in speaking/meeting you. When I go out 'en-femme' I have to believe in who I am and I have to accept myself for who I am and be at ease with it (a man in woman's clothes). - Once I do this I find that others' respond positively... But it's only once I believe in myself. - If I go out there full of self-doubt I wish the ground would swallow me up... ...It's a bit like a lion roaring at a little dog and the dog roars back and the lion scampers off... You have to believe in yourself and others will too. Sounds like you need to cheer-up and be thankful for who you are and what you have and understand that we are all the same... Hope you find renewed confidence beautiful lady. X " Thank you so much I hope I find it too, such kind words | |||
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"Maybe folks thought you looked uncomfortable being there " Maybe, I've been there before tho, was a quiet night so I don't know | |||
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"So I would say it happens. I can chat for england and often do but sometimes in a club I go shy. So people think I am not interested. People to talk to me and actually yesterday a few people approached me. Which caught me off guard I am shy too maybe that's it " Sorry you had a bad night. Sure it's not because of looks or anything like that. Clubs apart from the sex are a social environment and it can be tough if shy and generally struggle a bit socially. It's hard but sometimes you've got to make the move and talk to others. Perhaps others feeling exactly the same and waiting for somebody to talk to them. Applies to couples, men and ladies. I am naturally not great in big social situations either really but fake it at club/party. Sometimes also about body language and where you are located. Much better to wandering around or standing in place with lots of traffic smiling than sitting in a corner looking nervous. Not saying this is you of course but have seen it - people sitting away from others frowning and then moaning that nobody talks to them. Perhaps try again on another night or somewhere else where the vibe might be totally different as well. | |||
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"See that’s why I would struggle at a club , I’m really quite shy though I hold a great conversation but also not sure how people would react To me in my underwear lol I'm sure you would be okay I'm. Shy too and I thing you in underwear would look hot " Bless you that’s kind x | |||
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"The only certain way to have a conversation is to start the conversation. People don't approach for a million reasons, only one of those possibilities is lack of attraction; though of course because human psychology it's the one our brain immediately goes to. We tend not to actively approach in clubs; because we're simply not very good at it. We accept that either our behaviour changes or we have to accept a reduced amount of interaction (or none), and a reduction in our agency in choosing that interaction. We don't assume anyone will approach us, and the vast majority of nights we are absolutely correct. If the lack of approaches bothers you then ultimately you can consider why they might not be happening; does your body posture give off an unapproachable vibe. Is the club you are attending one which has a cliquey vibe which discourages ad hoc approaches? Is there simply too few people at the club to mean that statistically a large enough number of potential options exist? Only some of these are within your control in the moment. But making the approach, that's absolutely within your control in the moment. " Absolutely this! Physical attraction counts for a lot less than you'd think in clubs. You could be a screaming stunner but if you're sat in the corner like a wet weekend then you're probably not going to get many approaches. We've had some brilliant encounters by just going up to people who look like they're not going to say hi first and just starting a chat. By generally only if they look like they're happy to be there. We've also had nights where no one wanted to talk to us. No matter how hard we tried to break into a clique. Those are the nights you either need to make your own fun or just go for an early maccies. Not saying that any of this applies to the OP. | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " We all have off days at clubs. I perused your profile and I can honestly say that it was just a bad day as you at least look nice. C | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. We all have off days at clubs. I perused your profile and I can honestly say that it was just a bad day as you at least look nice. C" Thank you for taking the time to reply very kind | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " Unless you’ve arranged to meet someone inside, clubs are very much luck of the draw, and completely dependant on who is there while you are. There’s no shame in walking out after an hour or so if you’re just not feeling it, or not made a connection with anyone. I did just that, a week ago, when I visited Club f. You’ll have better nights | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " Well you look good to me maybe just a bad night at the club but the others there are thr losers . | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. Unless you’ve arranged to meet someone inside, clubs are very much luck of the draw, and completely dependant on who is there while you are. There’s no shame in walking out after an hour or so if you’re just not feeling it, or not made a connection with anyone. I did just that, a week ago, when I visited Club f. You’ll have better nights " Thank you ill try again | |||
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"Hi, I was at the club last night, too, and I'm sure I've seen you- long flowery dress with greenish background? You were hanging out in the smokers area at least at the beginning of the night (we got busy later on lol). I have to admit, last night was not as busy as normally, and there was a lot of people there who seemed to know each other and who were hanging out with each other mostly (nothing wrong there). I am not a social butterfly myself, but we usually get at least some attention because of our spikey gloves. " I did like the look of those gloves looked very arousing | |||
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"Great to see the positive support here. If only all threads were like this " My thoughts exactly Thanks everyone | |||
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"Hi, I was at the club last night, too, and I'm sure I've seen you- long flowery dress with greenish background? You were hanging out in the smokers area at least at the beginning of the night (we got busy later on lol). I have to admit, last night was not as busy as normally, and there was a lot of people there who seemed to know each other and who were hanging out with each other mostly (nothing wrong there). I am not a social butterfly myself, but we usually get at least some attention because of our spikey gloves. I did like the look of those gloves looked very arousing " Thank you, they are! Not everyone responds the same way, but last night my body was very hypersensitive to them and they felt amazing. Next time you see us, come and ask for a "sample" | |||
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"Hi, I was at the club last night, too, and I'm sure I've seen you- long flowery dress with greenish background? You were hanging out in the smokers area at least at the beginning of the night (we got busy later on lol). I have to admit, last night was not as busy as normally, and there was a lot of people there who seemed to know each other and who were hanging out with each other mostly (nothing wrong there). I am not a social butterfly myself, but we usually get at least some attention because of our spikey gloves. I did like the look of those gloves looked very arousing Thank you, they are! Not everyone responds the same way, but last night my body was very hypersensitive to them and they felt amazing. Next time you see us, come and ask for a "sample"" I will do x | |||
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"Hi, I was at the club last night, too, and I'm sure I've seen you- long flowery dress with greenish background? You were hanging out in the smokers area at least at the beginning of the night (we got busy later on lol). I have to admit, last night was not as busy as normally, and there was a lot of people there who seemed to know each other and who were hanging out with each other mostly (nothing wrong there). I am not a social butterfly myself, but we usually get at least some attention because of our spikey gloves. I did like the look of those gloves looked very arousing Thank you, they are! Not everyone responds the same way, but last night my body was very hypersensitive to them and they felt amazing. Next time you see us, come and ask for a "sample" I will do x" Pulled! | |||
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"Hi, I was at the club last night, too, and I'm sure I've seen you- long flowery dress with greenish background? You were hanging out in the smokers area at least at the beginning of the night (we got busy later on lol). I have to admit, last night was not as busy as normally, and there was a lot of people there who seemed to know each other and who were hanging out with each other mostly (nothing wrong there). I am not a social butterfly myself, but we usually get at least some attention because of our spikey gloves. I did like the look of those gloves looked very arousing Thank you, they are! Not everyone responds the same way, but last night my body was very hypersensitive to them and they felt amazing. Next time you see us, come and ask for a "sample" I will do x Pulled! " | |||
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"Maybe folks thought you looked uncomfortable being there " Not for one second suggesting that everyone be like me...but if we were attending a club and someone looked uncomfortable I would ask them if they fancied joining us for a drink...I certainly would rather someone do that to me than just toally ignore me. | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " I've heard some clubs can be quite cliquey which may not help a new person I wouldn't take it personally | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " Nothing wrong with you sweetie. It happens to me all the time. It can be very clique at clubs sometimes. X | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " There are a lot of unsociable folk out there who are quite bad at communicating and polite conversation. Many are very shy too. We'll talk to almost anyone and would have invited you over to sit with us if we saw you alone and being ignored ! | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. There are a lot of unsociable folk out there who are quite bad at communicating and polite conversation. Many are very shy too. We'll talk to almost anyone and would have invited you over to sit with us if we saw you alone and being ignored !" That's very kind | |||
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"I haven't read any other replies yet but clubs can be very clicky and some people looking for familiar faces. When I'm in a club I'm looking for eye contact that lingers a bit I'm also looking for ways to start a conversation so someone wearing something unusual or drinking a cocktail that I can ask them about. I'm really very shy when it comes to approaching women at a club so anything I can start a conversation with helps me a great deal." That's a good idea thank you | |||
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"Hi you’re pictures are nice and interesting but the head line on your profile might put people off ( try new to this a and looking for people to chat with be a little shy at first let get to know each other and smile sit close and I bet things will get more interesting asking questions about them male or female friends what you’re interested in what you’re looking for and bet things will get better good luck x ????????" Thank you for the advice x | |||
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"I would worry about it too much. A lot of people go tk these things in groups, which makes it harder to break the ice. I for 1 would definitely approach you. ??" Thank you very kind x | |||
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"Hi, it's not you. Generally the first time is difficult. I find it easier to be invited to a club by a seasoned member. You're gorgeous ??" Thank you x | |||
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"I totally agree with everyone above me. I've been to clubs alone, and felt like a social pariah! It's surprising how much it knocks your confidence! But I can assure you, it is not your looks. I agree that body language, smiling, eye contact, looking approachable all helps. Because others being shy/nervous, or just chatting to their friends can be the main reasons no one engages. It takes balls going to a club on your own! Good on ya! Do it again, I bet next time it's better! Xxx" Thanks I hope so x | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " This has happened to me too. Friday actually, so I know exactly where you're coming from. It's happened at a previous club also. It does leave you feeling inadequate, ugly and very upset. I don't know why it happened to me or you but you are beautiful and don't let guys who can't see your worth hold you back x | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. This has happened to me too. Friday actually, so I know exactly where you're coming from. It's happened at a previous club also. It does leave you feeling inadequate, ugly and very upset. I don't know why it happened to me or you but you are beautiful and don't let guys who can't see your worth hold you back x" Thank you so much it means a lot keep being awesome yourself x | |||
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" ... It’s a difficult one because for a club environment you need to have a certain level of confidence, which you obviously have to just walk through the door. So my advice is don’t wait for others, if you possibly can, .." We got a reputation as quite some active "partying" folk and got calls from event organisers - because we "got on with it", "didn't wait for the party to start", etc. We came in, tea, find out who's here, catch-up with the organisers and familiar folk then - go make it happen. Single - there's always something you can do to be helpful and before long you are involved in "social activity" | |||
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" ... It’s a difficult one because for a club environment you need to have a certain level of confidence, which you obviously have to just walk through the door. So my advice is don’t wait for others, if you possibly can, .. We got a reputation as quite some active "partying" folk and got calls from event organisers - because we "got on with it", "didn't wait for the party to start", etc. We came in, tea, find out who's here, catch-up with the organisers and familiar folk then - go make it happen. Single - there's always something you can do to be helpful and before long you are involved in "social activity"" This is so true. Fortune favours the brave, the proactive, the ones who make it happen. Been in a room of many people and it all a bit awkward. All it takes is one or two people (preferable two) to get naked and sudden social activity for all becomes very social! | |||
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"Hi all, Now this isn't a post to start a pity party, attended a club last night, didn't expect to play purely went for the social side Thing is hardly anyone spoke to me and now I find myself questioning if I an unapproachable, ugly or just not what people like the look of. " This is why I've never attended a club (yet), would be awful if nobody chatted to me. You're absolutely fine as you are though, keep plugging away | |||
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