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Etiquette on hotel meets

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had hotel meets and have always offered and paid the bill, there is compromise, if it’s more than just sex they can bring some food or a bottle of wine or something.

If it’s an arranged all night meet and we are having a social with it as well then I have previously said “we can use a spa hotel, how about I pay x and you pay y”

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By *orthernJayMan
over a year ago

LHR

A previous FWB and I used to take turns to pay, we’d do so when we booked and confirmed the date. As a guy, I’d always offer to book and pay for a hotel, you do have to prune out those who are time wasters etc.

In any event, be careful as a single women and hotel rooms with those you don’t know or have only just met; obvious precautions and meeting for a drink in the bar, emergency friend calls etc.

Enjoy and be safe

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By *hoenix_1Man
over a year ago

richmond


"Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill? "

If I book the hotel I pay

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By *iss.ddWoman
over a year ago

Leeds + Newcastle

It depends on if we are both staying there all night - I'd go halves

If he's literally coming and going and I'm staying all night, I'll pay.

Visa versa, if I'm visiting and he's staying all night, I won't contribute

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill? "

Not sure there is standard etiquette as such and down to individual. Men often pay because of the usual power imbalance on here but some prefer 50/50. Also know a lady who insists on booking and paying herself as it gives her control and makes it easier should she want to back out with no obligation.

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By *sagent81Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I generally payed apart from with a regular fb where we shared.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

If someone is there on business I don't contribute. Otherwise I pay 50/50.

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By *asian_fruitMan
over a year ago

Fuckingham Palace

Guys would normally pick up the tab. Unless hotel is already available due to business bookings.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for all your replies

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By *otBrunetteHimCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

On our first meet we booked and paid for the hotel. For a few reasons. A no show still meant a night away for us. We felt more comfortable knowing the room was ours and we could tell them to leave if we needed to

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By *orthwestsamMan
over a year ago

travel with work

Work pays for all my hotels so thankfully I never have this problem

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By *ev_1Couple
over a year ago

Bickliegh

Always go halves

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By *aximus74Woman
over a year ago

Manchester

I've paid for hotels myself before... treated one guy as he'd been so hospitable at his house the first few times and we was going to a club so I said I'd pay... then we went halves on club and cabs

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE

Like others have said, there is no set etiquette on this. However, usually the guy pays because women have power on Fab.

I was surprised that it was a lady asking this question as many have an entitled attitude on here.

Personally I would pay, and then, if all is well, I'd let you pay for the fourth meet

Don't be afraid of talking about it to your prospective meet (their answers can be an insight to their personality) and don't forget...they may not show up. If you are committed, let them pay. You can halve the bill afterwards

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…"

Gosh that’s awful I could never do that to someone. I booked hotel and paid myself for it but don’t intend to keep forking out every time

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…"

Please tell me you only fell for that scam once. Alternative is to offer to pay cash on the night. Depending how you transfer the money you are probably giving out your full name as well which can lead to other problems. Keep safe guys. Some really horrible ladies out there taking advantage of male horniness.

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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton


"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…

Please tell me you only fell for that scam once. Alternative is to offer to pay cash on the night. Depending how you transfer the money you are probably giving out your full name as well which can lead to other problems. Keep safe guys. Some really horrible ladies out there taking advantage of male horniness. "

I’ve fallen for it three times, the first time I was completely naive so I transferred the money without asking any questions, the second time I asked to see a screen shot of the booking confirmation which she sent but it must have been fake and the third time I was really wary so she called me and then called the hotel using a different phone, on loud speaker so i could hear the conversation, and confirmed the booking while I was listening, I still haven’t worked out how she even faked that. I won’t fall for it again.

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…

Please tell me you only fell for that scam once. Alternative is to offer to pay cash on the night. Depending how you transfer the money you are probably giving out your full name as well which can lead to other problems. Keep safe guys. Some really horrible ladies out there taking advantage of male horniness.

I’ve fallen for it three times, the first time I was completely naive so I transferred the money without asking any questions, the second time I asked to see a screen shot of the booking confirmation which she sent but it must have been fake and the third time I was really wary so she called me and then called the hotel using a different phone, on loud speaker so i could hear the conversation, and confirmed the booking while I was listening, I still haven’t worked out how she even faked that. I won’t fall for it again. "

Really easy to book a room that offers free cancellation up to say the day before or even the same day in some cases. So ladies had probably made genuine but then just cancelled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Invariably i pay, but in this Modern World everyone is equal. Have no problem with going halves etc,, but i do insist of buying the drinks

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire


"Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill? "

the man pays .. unless he s seen a face picture and gets buyers remorse ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Back when I was single I’d always prefer to pay but Mr would never let me. I just prefer to not owe anyone anything.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I book it then I'm paying for it.. I like to pay my way it's important to me.

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By *ldbutrandyMan
over a year ago

West Midlands


"In my experience, women like to book the hotel room and then demand I transfer the money to her to pay for it and then ghost me as soon as they receive the money (actually booking the hotel room probably never happened)…

Please tell me you only fell for that scam once. Alternative is to offer to pay cash on the night. Depending how you transfer the money you are probably giving out your full name as well which can lead to other problems. Keep safe guys. Some really horrible ladies out there taking advantage of male horniness.

I’ve fallen for it three times, the first time I was completely naive so I transferred the money without asking any questions, the second time I asked to see a screen shot of the booking confirmation which she sent but it must have been fake and the third time I was really wary so she called me and then called the hotel using a different phone, on loud speaker so i could hear the conversation, and confirmed the booking while I was listening, I still haven’t worked out how she even faked that. I won’t fall for it again. "

On a serious note , thats really bad.

On a not so serious note. I have some magic beans for sale, if you're interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We book and pay for the hotel room.

That way it’s our room and we control the environment.

We’d be as wary going to a man’s hotel room as we would his house.

Hidden cameras etc.

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By *lex.and.SexCouple
over a year ago

Bedale

This is something we have struggled with. It's seriously awkward and why we prefer not to use hotels. If a meet gets cancelled then someone is lumbered with a bill. Even if it's not them that's cancelled or there is no fault.

My view - We prefer to avoid hotels outright, if the other party wishes that to be the venue we will accept it but really it should be them paying for the venue and taking the risk of loss if the meet falls through (though we would likely offer to reimburse them if the cancellation was at our end)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Unfortunately I am not able to accommodate at home a lot of the time so hotel meets are something I do. I don’t mind going halves but don’t particularly want to be paying all of it every time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

50 50 sounds fair

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We do meets at hotels but it's always an invite to our room which we pay for. If there's a no show we have a nice night in a nice hotel.

Splitting the bill would seem to add pressure and an expectation I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No be happy to pay

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By *melie LALWoman
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Like others have said, there is no set etiquette on this. However, usually the guy pays because women have power on Fab.

I was surprised that it was a lady asking this question as many have an entitled attitude on here.

Personally I would pay, and then, if all is well, I'd let you pay for the fourth meet

Don't be afraid of talking about it to your prospective meet (their answers can be an insight to their personality) and don't forget...they may not show up. If you are committed, let them pay. You can halve the bill afterwards

"

When I read about power imbalance I assumed they meant like work status. Why would a man let a woman pay if she earned a tenth of his income (as an example). It's not unusual for women to work part-time if they have children, again an example.

The point is there are many things to take into account and that would mean a discussion.

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By *o new WinksMan
over a year ago

BAE


"Like others have said, there is no set etiquette on this. However, usually the guy pays because women have power on Fab.

I was surprised that it was a lady asking this question as many have an entitled attitude on here.

Personally I would pay, and then, if all is well, I'd let you pay for the fourth meet

Don't be afraid of talking about it to your prospective meet (their answers can be an insight to their personality) and don't forget...they may not show up. If you are committed, let them pay. You can halve the bill afterwards

When I read about power imbalance I assumed they meant like work status. Why would a man let a woman pay if she earned a tenth of his income (as an example). It's not unusual for women to work part-time if they have children, again an example.

The point is there are many things to take into account and that would mean a discussion."

But for a first meet, the idea of talking income and relative cost may make people balk.

I'd say that the real power here is the ratio of men to women. Also the desperation levels of some to meet.

But if the OP is meeting someone and they don't want to pay, at least half, then it shows potential problems from the start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always hire our own room so we can enjoy it and stay the night. If someone wants to join us that's absolutely fine. I suppose if we was having a meet and wasn't staying we would happily pay. We are just like that, as long as everyone enjoys themselves

Mrs C x

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

Good thread op. An interesting read.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe


"Hi all, just wanted some advice on hotel meets and the etiquette on paying etc? If you arrange a meet would you normally go halves or pay the whole bill? "

In the past, we have done different things:

-If we are staying the night, but they are leaving, we will pay for the room.

-If we're all staying the night, then we would share costs. This could be us paying for the room & them paying for food or drinks though.

-If a single guy/lady was joining us, we would also pay the bill.

Ultimately though, it's not a major consideration, and I'm not fussed if we have covered all the costs...

Cal

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We take the view that we choose the hotel and pay to start with. Once we have got to know someone we would go halves on subsequent meets. But we are generally happy to pay as we often stay in hotels when we go to Clubs, so it is no different really.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I expect the person inviting to book and pay.

Make clear prior who you expect to stay in the room afterwards.

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By *ragon007Man
over a year ago

london


"I expect the person inviting to book and pay.

Make clear prior who you expect to stay in the room afterwards. "

I always pay but always sleep in my own Bed even I leave after 4 am lol

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

I've always paid. No one has ever offered. It's fine.

Etiquette rarely comes into it, rightly or wrongly.

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