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Time wasters

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Unfortunately it seems like there’s a fair few time wasters on this site a lot of women seem to just want attention and validation but have no interest in ever meeting up in person this happens a lot on the proper dating sites as well tinder bumble etc is it like something women get off on or the ones that are insecure about themselves that they need to get this validation just confuses me why you’d wastes someone’s time and effort as well as there own

Also curious if the ladies have this as well chatting to a guy he talks a big game then just doesn’t wanna meet or show and wastes your time

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

Depends on what you call time wasting... If you think just talking means it's an automatic fuck then you might be expecting more than what's available. Some of us prefer to not be just a wet hole we actually want to know you can handle our sexual interests both physically and chemistry wise. Some will fuck any dick and again it's not a one size fucks all on fab or real life.

I consider a time waster a ghost encounter. someone who on top of conversation, picture exchanges, video calls AND meeting in person they then dissapear. Talking just enough to get what they want and use you in the process.

I've talked to plenty who either waste time by doing the following

1) take no initiative, lets meet..most annoying vague response you can ever send and an automatic block for me!!

how about are you free to go to Joe's bar off Park rd at around 7 Thursday. If Thursday isn't good what day are you available? I've enjoyed our chats and we seem to have similar purposes.

2) send cut and paste introduction responses and clearly have not taken the time to read your profile or interests.

Hope that helps or answers your question. And yeah I've had tons of time wasters blocking and tarnishing my view and hopes of those legitimate ones.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Might have realised that there wasn't a connection that they were looking for

I've actually made genuine friends on dating sites and still going strong years later

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I agree with what you call a time waster someone you’ve been chatting with for a good amount of time phone calls or FaceTimes made plans to meet days time etc and then boom gone disappears

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Might have realised that there wasn't a connection that they were looking for

I've actually made genuine friends on dating sites and still going strong years later "

That’s some really strong friendships by the sounds of it

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Might have realised that there wasn't a connection that they were looking for

I've actually made genuine friends on dating sites and still going strong years later

That’s some really strong friendships by the sounds of it"

Is pal and it all come from chemistry treating people how you'd expect to be treated can be difficult trying to keep up with everyone but handy at times to just pack a bag and go on me travels nice when their spread out

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Yup happens all the time with me. So it's not a sex thing

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Might have realised that there wasn't a connection that they were looking for

I've actually made genuine friends on dating sites and still going strong years later "

Yes that's happened to me too. The more I get to know them, I found red flags that put me off them

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Might have realised that there wasn't a connection that they were looking for

I've actually made genuine friends on dating sites and still going strong years later

That’s some really strong friendships by the sounds of it

Is pal and it all come from chemistry treating people how you'd expect to be treated can be difficult trying to keep up with everyone but handy at times to just pack a bag and go on me travels nice when their spread out "

Sometimes tho you be kind and generous to people and it just backfired on you but nice hear you’ve made some good friends

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By *otwifedundeeWoman
over a year ago

Dundee


"Unfortunately it seems like there’s a fair few time wasters on this site a lot of women seem to just want attention and validation but have no interest in ever meeting up in person this happens a lot on the proper dating sites as well tinder bumble etc is it like something women get off on or the ones that are insecure about themselves that they need to get this validation just confuses me why you’d wastes someone’s time and effort as well as there own

Also curious if the ladies have this as well chatting to a guy he talks a big game then just doesn’t wanna meet or show and wastes your time "

Yes I’ve had this happen loads. All the big man talk, organise a social or meet and they stand me up, ghost me or message saying changed mind

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yup happens all the time with me. So it's not a sex thing "

I’m surprised by that I had a look at your profile obviously you’re very sexy but seem fun to hangout with as well I like that poem in your bio I got a little laugh

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By *rs mischiefWoman
over a year ago

Manchester


"Depends on what you call time wasting... If you think just talking means it's an automatic fuck then you might be expecting more than what's available. Some of us prefer to not be just a wet hole we actually want to know you can handle our sexual interests both physically and chemistry wise. Some will fuck any dick and again it's not a one size fucks all on fab or real life.

I consider a time waster a ghost encounter. someone who on top of conversation, picture exchanges, video calls AND meeting in person they then dissapear. Talking just enough to get what they want and use you in the process.

I've talked to plenty who either waste time by doing the following

1) take no initiative, lets meet..most annoying vague response you can ever send and an automatic block for me!!

how about are you free to go to Joe's bar off Park rd at around 7 Thursday. If Thursday isn't good what day are you available? I've enjoyed our chats and we seem to have similar purposes.

2) send cut and paste introduction responses and clearly have not taken the time to read your profile or interests.

Hope that helps or answers your question. And yeah I've had tons of time wasters blocking and tarnishing my view and hopes of those legitimate ones."

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Unfortunately it seems like there’s a fair few time wasters on this site a lot of women seem to just want attention and validation but have no interest in ever meeting up in person this happens a lot on the proper dating sites as well tinder bumble etc is it like something women get off on or the ones that are insecure about themselves that they need to get this validation just confuses me why you’d wastes someone’s time and effort as well as there own

Also curious if the ladies have this as well chatting to a guy he talks a big game then just doesn’t wanna meet or show and wastes your time

Yes I’ve had this happen loads. All the big man talk, organise a social or meet and they stand me up, ghost me or message saying changed mind "

I’d of thought a hot woman like yourself would have guys at your feet easily

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Might have realised that there wasn't a connection that they were looking for

I've actually made genuine friends on dating sites and still going strong years later

That’s some really strong friendships by the sounds of it

Is pal and it all come from chemistry treating people how you'd expect to be treated can be difficult trying to keep up with everyone but handy at times to just pack a bag and go on me travels nice when their spread out

Sometimes tho you be kind and generous to people and it just backfired on you but nice hear you’ve made some good friends "

Never change for anyone if you are kind remain this way if you do change your weak and thanks I'm just a sociable person who gels

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

It's not just women who do this

I rarely can be arsed to meet nowadays ,but when I was single and meeting it happened to me too.

As others said people are entitled to change their minds,some may never have intended to meet.

I have been stood up years ago or had people go quiet when it came to meeting for a social,only to then come back weeks later and try and arrange again.

I'm totally upfront that I'm not much of a meeter,if people still want to chat to me knowing that they're choosing that with all the info .

I think the worst ones are those who arrange a meet ,don't turn up and don't let you know they're not coming.Its just messing with people.

It'd be great if we were able to read people's real intentions on fab.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"Unfortunately it seems like there’s a fair few time wasters on this site a lot of women seem to just want attention and validation but have no interest in ever meeting up in person this happens a lot on the proper dating sites as well tinder bumble etc is it like something women get off on or the ones that are insecure about themselves that they need to get this validation just confuses me why you’d wastes someone’s time and effort as well as there own

Also curious if the ladies have this as well chatting to a guy he talks a big game then just doesn’t wanna meet or show and wastes your time "

This isn't a 'woman' issue. It's a people issue.

We get this as a couple. Men mad keen to meet, talking the talk in messages then poof - gone in a cloud of 'unlos' smoke.

And not all definitions of timewasting are true. People can change their minds whenever they want, based on disappearing attraction and interest, something said that's off-putting or any indication of expectancy from early messages.

Yes, there are people who string others along. But just because a chat ends it doesn't mean time has been wasted or it wasn't the right decision to make.

A

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I agree with what you call a time waster someone you’ve been chatting with for a good amount of time phone calls or FaceTimes made plans to meet days time etc and then boom gone disappears "

They're usually blokes posing as women and they delete their account once they've finished their wank

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby

Depends what you class as time wasting.

Changing your mind due to appearance or how the interaction is going, not time wasting to me.

Engaging in the conversation, agreeing to meet and fixing a location, then hearing nothing. Time wasting. Circling back when whatever pulled them away isn't fun/what they expected anymore. Huge time waster.

Discussing one thing and it ending up being another - time wasting.

I've personally changed my mind about meets, a lot for various reasons. Usually it a the communication but sometimes it's the clear notion they are expecting sex immediately without public first meet to get a vibe of each other or low expectations about what I'd like. I.e. all about their wants and attraction level. Makes me feel it's not a genuine fancy/desire but a "any hole is a goal situation and I'm not up for that"

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By *f.I.Like.It.I.Do.ItCouple
over a year ago

Keighley

Most interactions we have through this site come to nothing. I wouldn’t necessarily call it time wasting, just wasn’t meant to be. But what is becoming more common is people asking if you’re available to meet, then never coming back to read your reply, really boils my piss

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Most interactions we have through this site come to nothing. I wouldn’t necessarily call it time wasting, just wasn’t meant to be. But what is becoming more common is people asking if you’re available to meet, then never coming back to read your reply, really boils my piss "

Yeah like the just vanish never to be seen again

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Since coming back as a single and vetting better, I've never had someone arrange to meet and bail at the last minute.

For me, the biggest time wasters are the men who message me when it's obvious that I'm not going to be remotely interested

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

Mansfield

So is a time waster simply someone that won't meet you instantly??? Didn't really read the whole thread header to be honest. Think you'll find most (not all) swingers are of an age where real life takes priority over fun time.

Sure I'll get slated for that.

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By *r PantyMan
over a year ago

Morpeth

It's the nature of the beast and isn't limited an any group of people / type of person / race / creed / colour / sexual orientation etc etc etc ....

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"It's the nature of the beast and isn't limited an any group of people / type of person / race / creed / colour / sexual orientation etc etc etc ...."

True

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"So is a time waster simply someone that won't meet you instantly??? Didn't really read the whole thread header to be honest. Think you'll find most (not all) swingers are of an age where real life takes priority over fun time.

Sure I'll get slated for that. "

Then don't arrange a meet if you know you probably won't be available

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It takes investment of time for all sides to be able to know whether the others are right for then. Obviously nobody is going to suggest you're not a match, until they know it. So of course they are talking positively.

But nobody is responsible for another having unrealistic expectations but the person themselves.

Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. Accept this and adjust your expectations accordingly. It takes time to find out who is or isn't

That's not time wasting. You've either got to be prepared to invest your time this way or not. If not, give up.

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

We've had all sorts of true time wasters. Single guys hiding behind couples profiles, pic collectors who worm their way into your friends pics, those you chat to for an eternity but can never sort a meet, those who use you as backup incase their chosen couple don't tutn up (one couple admitted that 15 MINUTES before we were due to meet !). Yes then those who go all the way to the end then either ghost you before the meet day or come up with an odd excuse (one couple THREE TIMES). Yet we're now also seeing another type.... Those who claim to have the same interests, boundaries and rules then COMPLETELY turn them upside down just before the meet or on second meet after a good social . Soooo tiring

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

Unless someone actually agrees to meet you and bails they aren’t wasting your time.

There’s no rule on here that say people have to meet. Or act a certain way.

If someone wants to be ok here purely for chats or attention, that’s ok. As long as honest about it.

90% of the men on here just want a quick wank and a dirty talk. No big deal if that’s what they’re profiles for.

Each to their own

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By *IGBLACKCOCK2016Man
over a year ago

Whitefield/Prestwich (Manchester)

This happens everywhere and all the time.

When you set a time and a place and other just doesn't turn up or completely ghosts you.

I always use the report option on this is one.

I don't want anyone to have their time wasted.

But of course if you been on long enough you can out the time wasters very easily. They normally follow the same path of actions.

1. The ghosting happens, if they are busy honest people just say so.

2. When you find it a struggle to have a normal conversation with them. 9/10 they are not real.

3. I've noticed women prefer to meet in the open, social place, so they feel safe, and can run away if you are not who you say you are.

But outside of this some people just get a kick out of it, quite sad but its the world we live in.

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

Mansfield


"So is a time waster simply someone that won't meet you instantly??? Didn't really read the whole thread header to be honest. Think you'll find most (not all) swingers are of an age where real life takes priority over fun time.

Sure I'll get slated for that.

Then don't arrange a meet if you know you probably won't be available "

Never do. Not sure where you were going with that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I put a post up a while back based on my perception of 3 different types of profile (woman) that I’ve seen on here. After my recent break while I did a bit of proper dating, I didn’t notice anything was any different when I returned. I still see the passive aggressive profiles and the profiles (pictures) that are fishing for “fabs “.

It’s all ok though. Your profile - do what you want with it.

What I will say to OP (and anyone else thinking same) is have a search for single men and then take a look at the profiles that pop up. That’s what women on here are dealing with and it goes a long way to explaining things like passive/aggressiveness. Men as a whole are reaping what they sow here. I’m just keeping my head down and taking notes

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