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Couples not looking for single men looking at single men’s profiles

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate

Hi.

I was wondering what the thinking is behind couples who say that they aren’t looking for single guys yet view single guys profiles.

I fully understand, appreciate and respect that couples have “not looking for single guys” on their profile to keep all the often constant classless and tasteless messages away that consist of one word (maybe two) messages, yet may still be interested in single guys.

I would also like to say I’m not one to randomly message couples or single women I’ve never met as it has so many different negative traits for single men. I’ve seen single guys behave or speak inappropriately towards couples and women in clubs and have been shown the sort of messages men send on here and I want to be no part of it but have often said to those kind of guys in clubs to back off if it’s clear they are not being respectful.

What I don’t understand is when a couple looks at my profile yet isn’t looking for single guys. As I said, some are, but more discreetly and it’s often possible to work out if they are or not by what they’ve written in their profile. I still don’t take that as a cue to send them a message as I don’t want to presume anything and believe that if they were interested they would send a ‘wink’.

It’s the ones who make it crystal clear they aren’t looking for single guys in any way shape or form. I had a couple look at my profile this morning and theirs stated very clearly:

“No single Men. Any who look, wink or messages us will be blocked”.

Well don’t worry, I’ve saved you the trouble of blocking me, but given what you’ve clearly written, why look at my and probably other single guy’s profiles in the first place? Another couple who stated they have no interest in single guys catfished my profile picture about a year ago to use as their own! They didn’t even catfish a woman’s profile picture!

This isn’t a rant (believe it or not!) but I don’t really understand why people do things having stated something different and would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on it.

Thanks.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

It only says 'not looking for single men'if someone puts a message filter on to stop guys contacting them.

It doesn't mean they're not interested. It just means they browse and make first contact themselves.

We do it a lot.

A

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"It only says 'not looking for single men'if someone puts a message filter on to stop guys contacting them.

It doesn't mean they're not interested. It just means they browse and make first contact themselves.

We do it a lot.

A"

I fully get and acknowledged that, but wasn’t my point. It’s the ones who for example say they will block any man that so much as looks at their profile but choose look at that man’s profile first themselves. If they don’t mean what they say then they should look at rewording their profile from “automatic block etc” to something else.

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By *BCambsCouple
over a year ago

Biggleswade

I don't really like orange chocolate. I don't want anyone to buy me orange chocolate but I didn't realise that meant I was never ever allowed to look at an orange chocolate bar ever.

Perhaps people like to just look and fantasize about what it might be like to have an orange chocolate bar for a change without picking it up and buying it?

Some orange chocolate bars a just disgusting, others, you might think you like but then a quick bite reminds you that orange chocolate bars and just annoying, frustrating and usually not worth the trouble, so you just go to the buffet instead.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I don't really like orange chocolate. I don't want anyone to buy me orange chocolate but I didn't realise that meant I was never ever allowed to look at an orange chocolate bar ever.

Perhaps people like to just look and fantasize about what it might be like to have an orange chocolate bar for a change without picking it up and buying it?

Some orange chocolate bars a just disgusting, others, you might think you like but then a quick bite reminds you that orange chocolate bars and just annoying, frustrating and usually not worth the trouble, so you just go to the buffet instead.

"

Thanks for the weird analogy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s ok to have a Nosey.

It’s not like as you said they are winking or messaging you. I wouldn’t worry about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We actually are looking for single guys but in answer to your question, we often lol at guys profiles that are of no interest to us because of a mad or ranting status update just to get a go age of just how off their rocker they actually are.

It’s an eye opener sometimes.

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

[Removed by poster at 08/06/23 10:26:24]

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London


"Hi.

I was wondering what the thinking is behind couples who say that they aren’t looking for single guys yet view single guys profiles.

I fully understand, appreciate and respect that couples have “not looking for single guys” on their profile to keep all the often constant classless and tasteless messages away that consist of one word (maybe two) messages, yet may still be interested in single guys.

I would also like to say I’m not one to randomly message couples or single women I’ve never met as it has so many different negative traits for single men. I’ve seen single guys behave or speak inappropriately towards couples and women in clubs and have been shown the sort of messages men send on here and I want to be no part of it but have often said to those kind of guys in clubs to back off if it’s clear they are not being respectful.

What I don’t understand is when a couple looks at my profile yet isn’t looking for single guys. As I said, some are, but more discreetly and it’s often possible to work out if they are or not by what they’ve written in their profile. I still don’t take that as a cue to send them a message as I don’t want to presume anything and believe that if they were interested they would send a ‘wink’.

It’s the ones who make it crystal clear they aren’t looking for single guys in any way shape or form. I had a couple look at my profile this morning and theirs stated very clearly:

“No single Men. Any who look, wink or messages us will be blocked”.

Well don’t worry, I’ve saved you the trouble of blocking me, but given what you’ve clearly written, why look at my and probably other single guy’s profiles in the first place? Another couple who stated they have no interest in single guys catfished my profile picture about a year ago to use as their own! They didn’t even catfish a woman’s profile picture!

This isn’t a rant (believe it or not!) but I don’t really understand why people do things having stated something different and would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on it.

Thanks. "
get that a lot from couples who claim they not looking for single men who fab my pics and wink at me, makes no sense but according to Fab nothing shouldn't

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By *ll 4 herCouple
over a year ago

Bury/Bolton

You may have verified someone they are interested in and they checked your profile to see who they have been meeting.

We regularly check verifications and verifiers, I doubt we are alone in that.

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By *winging Sally SeanCouple
over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

Sometimes their profiles are entertaining.

Sometimes their pictures are funny.

Sometimes there might be a forum comment, which makes us want to know more about that person.

Sometimes we want to see who has verified the profile we're planning to meet.

Sometimes you might want to see who the profile we're planning to meet has verified.

Sometimes we might want to see who is nearby.

Sometimes we might want to see who else is going to a club or party that we plan to attend.

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By *awg-mo-thoinWoman
over a year ago

Brixton

Here’s my rebuttal question. Why are men so concerned with who looks at their profile anyway? Who cares? As stated above it’s not like they’re messaging or winking you, they could have clicked accidentally, for a nosey, for a laugh, for the craic… who… cares?

I remember seeing a thread on here not too long ago from a guy asking how to stop men from viewing his profile cos it was annoying him. Christ! If my profile was only ever viewed by people I was interested in who were interested in me back it would be a very light flow of traffic.

It sounds like what you’re really annoyed about is that they’re viewing your profile but not initiating contact and due to their profile filters &/or your (hopefully) restraint and sense of decency you can’t initiate it with them. That’s a whole different issue.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"You may have verified someone they are interested in and they checked your profile to see who they have been meeting.

We regularly check verifications and verifiers, I doubt we are alone in that."

That’s a fair point.

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

I do wonder exactly what posters of such threads want in from such threads. We've established that some couples say they don't want male attention but look at male profiles. We've established that often these couples do want males but freedom to pick at their leisure. OP recognises this too.

Despite what is said surely its a simple a people do their thing on here, they either message or they don't, either block you or they don't, they either look at your profile or they don't. People just use the site the best way that works for them.

This is one of those threads that feels like it comes from a position of frustration. A sort of passive aggressive complaint at couples who won't play the game. Which by the way as single guy on here I (Mr) totally get. However it is what it is. Your not going to get people to change in a way that disadvantages them for you and a sense of sour grapes has never helped any guys profile. We all know why couples do that (even if it's annoyingly contrary). Trying to publicly shame implied offence won't change things. Seems to me best way is to take it as it is and put your efforts into find the right people.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"Here’s my rebuttal question. Why are men so concerned with who looks at their profile anyway? Who cares? As stated above it’s not like they’re messaging or winking you, they could have clicked accidentally, for a nosey, for a laugh, for the craic… who… cares?

I remember seeing a thread on here not too long ago from a guy asking how to stop men from viewing his profile cos it was annoying him. Christ! If my profile was only ever viewed by people I was interested in who were interested in me back it would be a very light flow of traffic.

It sounds like what you’re really annoyed about is that they’re viewing your profile but not initiating contact and due to their profile filters &/or your (hopefully) restraint and sense of decency you can’t initiate it with them. That’s a whole different issue."

You couldn’t be more wrong about me being annoyed and I also said in the original post that it wasn’t a rant. I also have no problem whatsoever with couples looking at my profile but not initiating contact and understand the various reasons why they might look at my or another profile.

The couple that on their profile say they will issue a blanket block to any single male who do much as looks at that profile could always reword what they mean in more friendly manner as it seems over the top but again, I’ll not lose any sleep if they stick to their guns.

The catfishing of my profile picture from a couple not looking for single guys and using it as their own profile picture will always be puzzling but again, no annoyance from me, just thinking how strange it is for a couple to do that.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I do wonder exactly what posters of such threads want in from such threads. We've established that some couples say they don't want male attention but look at male profiles. We've established that often these couples do want males but freedom to pick at their leisure. OP recognises this too.

Despite what is said surely its a simple a people do their thing on here, they either message or they don't, either block you or they don't, they either look at your profile or they don't. People just use the site the best way that works for them.

This is one of those threads that feels like it comes from a position of frustration. A sort of passive aggressive complaint at couples who won't play the game. Which by the way as single guy on here I (Mr) totally get. However it is what it is. Your not going to get people to change in a way that disadvantages them for you and a sense of sour grapes has never helped any guys profile. We all know why couples do that (even if it's annoyingly contrary). Trying to publicly shame implied offence won't change things. Seems to me best way is to take it as it is and put your efforts into find the right people."

Absolute zero passive aggressive complaint from me about “couples who won’t play the game” from me and without anything close to resembling even one sour grape either.

Also, to be clear, nobody has been named and shamed. It was only to ask peoples thoughts on what seems to be a fairly common occurrence. No rant. No sour grapes. No naming and shaming. No crusade of any kind.

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By *uriouscouple2010Couple
over a year ago

Birmingham


"You may have verified someone they are interested in and they checked your profile to see who they have been meeting.

We regularly check verifications and verifiers, I doubt we are alone in that."

Exactly this, we’ve started doing this recently too!

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"You may have verified someone they are interested in and they checked your profile to see who they have been meeting.

We regularly check verifications and verifiers, I doubt we are alone in that.

Exactly this, we’ve started doing this recently too!"

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry


"I do wonder exactly what posters of such threads want in from such threads. We've established that some couples say they don't want male attention but look at male profiles. We've established that often these couples do want males but freedom to pick at their leisure. OP recognises this too.

Despite what is said surely its a simple a people do their thing on here, they either message or they don't, either block you or they don't, they either look at your profile or they don't. People just use the site the best way that works for them.

This is one of those threads that feels like it comes from a position of frustration. A sort of passive aggressive complaint at couples who won't play the game. Which by the way as single guy on here I (Mr) totally get. However it is what it is. Your not going to get people to change in a way that disadvantages them for you and a sense of sour grapes has never helped any guys profile. We all know why couples do that (even if it's annoyingly contrary). Trying to publicly shame implied offence won't change things. Seems to me best way is to take it as it is and put your efforts into find the right people.

Absolute zero passive aggressive complaint from me about “couples who won’t play the game” from me and without anything close to resembling even one sour grape either.

Also, to be clear, nobody has been named and shamed. It was only to ask peoples thoughts on what seems to be a fairly common occurrence. No rant. No sour grapes. No naming and shaming. No crusade of any kind.

"

I know you haven't shamed anyone specifically. I was (as should be clear in the text) reffing to the highlighting and shaming of the implied offense and behaviour not individuals.

My point is often people vent their frustration on here by highlighting the source for their frustration under the guise of innocent conversation (and maybe sometimes it subconsciously done). Just sounds a bit like one of those to me. Obviously OP your the only one who will truly know. It just seems to me we all know why couples do it. And when this is stated its like that answer isn't the right one. So if it is one of them I don't think you'll get the answer you want exactly from here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something we all have to understand is that whoever looks at your profile, whether they're particularly looking for someone like you or not, is going to know NOTHING about you or what you look like UNTIL they've looked at your profile.

There could be any number of reasons they've clicked on your profile, but only they will know why.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I do wonder exactly what posters of such threads want in from such threads. We've established that some couples say they don't want male attention but look at male profiles. We've established that often these couples do want males but freedom to pick at their leisure. OP recognises this too.

Despite what is said surely its a simple a people do their thing on here, they either message or they don't, either block you or they don't, they either look at your profile or they don't. People just use the site the best way that works for them.

This is one of those threads that feels like it comes from a position of frustration. A sort of passive aggressive complaint at couples who won't play the game. Which by the way as single guy on here I (Mr) totally get. However it is what it is. Your not going to get people to change in a way that disadvantages them for you and a sense of sour grapes has never helped any guys profile. We all know why couples do that (even if it's annoyingly contrary). Trying to publicly shame implied offence won't change things. Seems to me best way is to take it as it is and put your efforts into find the right people.

Absolute zero passive aggressive complaint from me about “couples who won’t play the game” from me and without anything close to resembling even one sour grape either.

Also, to be clear, nobody has been named and shamed. It was only to ask peoples thoughts on what seems to be a fairly common occurrence. No rant. No sour grapes. No naming and shaming. No crusade of any kind.

I know you haven't shamed anyone specifically. I was (as should be clear in the text) reffing to the highlighting and shaming of the implied offense and behaviour not individuals.

My point is often people vent their frustration on here by highlighting the source for their frustration under the guise of innocent conversation (and maybe sometimes it subconsciously done). Just sounds a bit like one of those to me. Obviously OP your the only one who will truly know. It just seems to me we all know why couples do it. And when this is stated its like that answer isn't the right one. So if it is one of them I don't think you'll get the answer you want exactly from here."

Again, I’m not the slightest bit frustrated or offended and despite how things may seem to you doesn’t mean that is the actual case. I also made it clear I was asking a question and I’m old enough and ugly enough to know that if a question is asked then one should be prepared for answers all of which I welcome. I do not however, have any kind of bitter agenda behind my curiosity.

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By *amnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

tf1

Probably just perving.

I look at loads of profiles. Doesn’t mean I am in the slightest bit interested

Only difference is I’ve hidden so you can’t see if I’ve looked or not.

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By *imisugarWoman
over a year ago

Rugby


"You may have verified someone they are interested in and they checked your profile to see who they have been meeting.

We regularly check verifications and verifiers, I doubt we are alone in that."

I'd agree with this.

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By *g1979Man
over a year ago

bexley

I have a single guy profile.

I'm part of a couple and we use this site because we manage to get out to clubs 2 or 3 times a year and use this site to see whats on.

We're not on here for socials or meets or swapping pics.

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By *uicybbwWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

Men in general need to understand that a woman or couple looking at your profile is not a come on.

Sometimes it’s intriguing to look, read etc

God for if maybe some couples fantasise about the profiles they look at.

Some people have a really set view point on what this site is for and how to use it.

I say on my profile not meeting, I get a lot of guys telling me to get off the site and don’t be a tease…

Where does it say you have to actively hooking up?

Makes me realise these men who claim to be open minded sexually clearly have closed ideas!!

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Because they can.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To see if they know you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's many more looking at your profile in stealth mode and you've no idea who they are...

Mrs

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"Probably just perving.

I look at loads of profiles. Doesn’t mean I am in the slightest bit interested

Only difference is I’ve hidden so you can’t see if I’ve looked or not.

"

Maybe they are and with that in mind…nice photos of you by the way!

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"Men in general need to understand that a woman or couple looking at your profile is not a come on.

Sometimes it’s intriguing to look, read etc

God for if maybe some couples fantasise about the profiles they look at.

Some people have a really set view point on what this site is for and how to use it.

I say on my profile not meeting, I get a lot of guys telling me to get off the site and don’t be a tease…

Where does it say you have to actively hooking up?

Makes me realise these men who claim to be open minded sexually clearly have closed ideas!! "

Never suggested or thought profile views are or might be a come on. If it was then that’s where the ‘wink’ button would worth using. My original post was simply pure curiosity. Normal life and work keep me more than busy with stress etc to feel the need to go looking for it in ‘swing world’ too!

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By *inkyguyUKMan
over a year ago

worcester

It's clearly the man protecting his status with the wife, single men are a risk as the wife might run off. When the wife is on using the profile she is looking for all the cock she will have when she dumps the husband innit

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"It's clearly the man protecting his status with the wife, single men are a risk as the wife might run off. When the wife is on using the profile she is looking for all the cock she will have when she dumps the husband innit"

Charming….

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By *exymarvelMan
over a year ago

cardiff


"Hi.

I was wondering what the thinking is behind couples who say that they aren’t looking for single guys yet view single guys profiles.

I fully understand, appreciate and respect that couples have “not looking for single guys” on their profile to keep all the often constant classless and tasteless messages away that consist of one word (maybe two) messages, yet may still be interested in single guys.

I would also like to say I’m not one to randomly message couples or single women I’ve never met as it has so many different negative traits for single men. I’ve seen single guys behave or speak inappropriately towards couples and women in clubs and have been shown the sort of messages men send on here and I want to be no part of it but have often said to those kind of guys in clubs to back off if it’s clear they are not being respectful.

What I don’t understand is when a couple looks at my profile yet isn’t looking for single guys. As I said, some are, but more discreetly and it’s often possible to work out if they are or not by what they’ve written in their profile. I still don’t take that as a cue to send them a message as I don’t want to presume anything and believe that if they were interested they would send a ‘wink’.

It’s the ones who make it crystal clear they aren’t looking for single guys in any way shape or form. I had a couple look at my profile this morning and theirs stated very clearly:

“No single Men. Any who look, wink or messages us will be blocked”.

Well don’t worry, I’ve saved you the trouble of blocking me, but given what you’ve clearly written, why look at my and probably other single guy’s profiles in the first place? Another couple who stated they have no interest in single guys catfished my profile picture about a year ago to use as their own! They didn’t even catfish a woman’s profile picture!

This isn’t a rant (believe it or not!) but I don’t really understand why people do things having stated something different and would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on it.

Thanks. "

Because sometimes they may look for a single guy but dont wanna have a total sausagefest on their hands. Take it as a compliment that they read your profile. Maybe sometime they might message you with a proposition.

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle

I haven’t read all the comments so this may have been mentioned already but having not looking for men ticked limits men from messaging so the inbox doesn’t get overwhelmed. So I’ve been told

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"Hi.

I was wondering what the thinking is behind couples who say that they aren’t looking for single guys yet view single guys profiles.

I fully understand, appreciate and respect that couples have “not looking for single guys” on their profile to keep all the often constant classless and tasteless messages away that consist of one word (maybe two) messages, yet may still be interested in single guys.

I would also like to say I’m not one to randomly message couples or single women I’ve never met as it has so many different negative traits for single men. I’ve seen single guys behave or speak inappropriately towards couples and women in clubs and have been shown the sort of messages men send on here and I want to be no part of it but have often said to those kind of guys in clubs to back off if it’s clear they are not being respectful.

What I don’t understand is when a couple looks at my profile yet isn’t looking for single guys. As I said, some are, but more discreetly and it’s often possible to work out if they are or not by what they’ve written in their profile. I still don’t take that as a cue to send them a message as I don’t want to presume anything and believe that if they were interested they would send a ‘wink’.

It’s the ones who make it crystal clear they aren’t looking for single guys in any way shape or form. I had a couple look at my profile this morning and theirs stated very clearly:

“No single Men. Any who look, wink or messages us will be blocked”.

Well don’t worry, I’ve saved you the trouble of blocking me, but given what you’ve clearly written, why look at my and probably other single guy’s profiles in the first place? Another couple who stated they have no interest in single guys catfished my profile picture about a year ago to use as their own! They didn’t even catfish a woman’s profile picture!

This isn’t a rant (believe it or not!) but I don’t really understand why people do things having stated something different and would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on it.

Thanks.

Because sometimes they may look for a single guy but dont wanna have a total sausagefest on their hands. Take it as a compliment that they read your profile. Maybe sometime they might message you with a proposition."

Thanks for the tip…..

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

This.

This is exactly why so many people operate in stealth mode.

Maybe I was just looking at who was local, or was commenting on a thread I found interesting, or generally perving. Maybe their status drew my attention. Maybe I'm just opening their profile to make a private note on something they've said.

It doesn't matter why I looked. If I chose not to message, I don't want people bothering me with why are you looking if you're not even interested.

I can use my eyes however I see fit. Looking at a profile and leaving without saying anything isn't a commitment to do anything. Fuck off

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"This.

This is exactly why so many people operate in stealth mode.

Maybe I was just looking at who was local, or was commenting on a thread I found interesting, or generally perving. Maybe their status drew my attention. Maybe I'm just opening their profile to make a private note on something they've said.

It doesn't matter why I looked. If I chose not to message, I don't want people bothering me with why are you looking if you're not even interested.

I can use my eyes however I see fit. Looking at a profile and leaving without saying anything isn't a commitment to do anything. Fuck off "

“Fuck off”. Nice.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I haven’t read all the comments so this may have been mentioned already but having not looking for men ticked limits men from messaging so the inbox doesn’t get overwhelmed. So I’ve been told"

I know. But you also missed the bit in my OP where I said I don’t do that anyway.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"“Fuck off”. Nice.

"

It's exactly the response the situation described evokes

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"“Fuck off”. Nice.

It's exactly the response the situation described evokes "

In your mind.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"“Fuck off”. Nice.

It's exactly the response the situation described evokes

In your mind. "

Yes.

That's how responding to questions about the personal reasoning behind things works

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

.


"There's many more looking at your profile in stealth mode and you've no idea who they are...

Mrs"

It's the best way to do it, otherwise you might look at a profile by accident and then have a thread created about it

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle


"I haven’t read all the comments so this may have been mentioned already but having not looking for men ticked limits men from messaging so the inbox doesn’t get overwhelmed. So I’ve been told

I know. But you also missed the bit in my OP where I said I don’t do that anyway. "

I’m going to be honest. I didn’t even read all of your OP.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"“Fuck off”. Nice.

It's exactly the response the situation described evokes

In your mind.

Yes.

That's how responding to questions about the personal reasoning behind things works "

Thanks for your input….

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"There's many more looking at your profile in stealth mode and you've no idea who they are...

Mrs

It's the best way to do it, otherwise you might look at a profile by accident and then have a thread created about it "

Good one.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I haven’t read all the comments so this may have been mentioned already but having not looking for men ticked limits men from messaging so the inbox doesn’t get overwhelmed. So I’ve been told

I know. But you also missed the bit in my OP where I said I don’t do that anyway.

I’m going to be honest. I didn’t even read all of your OP. "

No worries.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Something we all have to understand is that whoever looks at your profile, whether they're particularly looking for someone like you or not, is going to know NOTHING about you or what you look like UNTIL they've looked at your profile.

There could be any number of reasons they've clicked on your profile, but only they will know why.

"

This, nobody can see what's in a profile until they've looked at it!

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i


"“Fuck off”. Nice.

It's exactly the response the situation described evokes

In your mind.

Yes.

That's how responding to questions about the personal reasoning behind things works "

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"Something we all have to understand is that whoever looks at your profile, whether they're particularly looking for someone like you or not, is going to know NOTHING about you or what you look like UNTIL they've looked at your profile.

There could be any number of reasons they've clicked on your profile, but only they will know why.

This, nobody can see what's in a profile until they've looked at it!"

Given the lengths people will go to to say how little interest they have in single men (to be clear, absolutely their choice and no problem whatsoever if it is) and in the example given will block any man that so much as looks at their profile the clue would be in the word ‘man’ next to their profile name.

Anyway, thank you all for your replies and thoughts. Some were far more constructive and polite than others….

Anyway, going to move on to far more pressing issues now. Like do I fancy a nice cold beer or a nice cold G&T.

Cheers!

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By *awg-mo-thoinWoman
over a year ago

Brixton


"There's many more looking at your profile in stealth mode and you've no idea who they are...

Mrs

It's the best way to do it, otherwise you might look at a profile by accident and then have a thread created about it "

I think this post and all of its subsequent defensive responses has served as a wonderful reminder of this feature I for one shall never be switching mine back on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really don't see any problem with anyone looking at my profile I really don't get why your so upset about it, most of my views are from straight single guys but again so what just live and let live lol

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"There's many more looking at your profile in stealth mode and you've no idea who they are...

Mrs

It's the best way to do it, otherwise you might look at a profile by accident and then have a thread created about it

I think this post and all of its subsequent defensive responses has served as a wonderful reminder of this feature I for one shall never be switching mine back on!

"

No probs.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I really don't see any problem with anyone looking at my profile I really don't get why your so upset about it, most of my views are from straight single guys but again so what just live and let live lol"

I keep saying but some people can’t seem to understand that I’m not in the least bit upset. I’m just curious. I said in the OP it wasn’t a rant but some have chosen to ignore that point and have a rant. Still, each to their own. Enjoy all your views, likes, winks etc and I hope you have fun.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West

I don’t understand the problem at all…

It’s a public site, which anyone can look at.

I’m only here for clubs but still look at peoples profiles.

I don’t meet couples but still nosey on some peoples profiles.

Looking at a profile doesn’t mean your interested or expect to play with them… I don’t presume men looking at my profile are into me…

Find this utterly bizzare tbh

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I don’t understand the problem at all…

It’s a public site, which anyone can look at.

I’m only here for clubs but still look at peoples profiles.

I don’t meet couples but still nosey on some peoples profiles.

Looking at a profile doesn’t mean your interested or expect to play with them… I don’t presume men looking at my profile are into me…

Find this utterly bizzare tbh "

Zzzzzzz.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"I don’t understand the problem at all…

It’s a public site, which anyone can look at.

I’m only here for clubs but still look at peoples profiles.

I don’t meet couples but still nosey on some peoples profiles.

Looking at a profile doesn’t mean your interested or expect to play with them… I don’t presume men looking at my profile are into me…

Find this utterly bizzare tbh

Zzzzzzz."

I do love a good polite response

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I don’t understand the problem at all…

It’s a public site, which anyone can look at.

I’m only here for clubs but still look at peoples profiles.

I don’t meet couples but still nosey on some peoples profiles.

Looking at a profile doesn’t mean your interested or expect to play with them… I don’t presume men looking at my profile are into me…

Find this utterly bizzare tbh

Zzzzzzz.

I do love a good polite response "

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I don’t understand the problem at all…

It’s a public site, which anyone can look at.

I’m only here for clubs but still look at peoples profiles.

I don’t meet couples but still nosey on some peoples profiles.

Looking at a profile doesn’t mean your interested or expect to play with them… I don’t presume men looking at my profile are into me…

Find this utterly bizzare tbh

Zzzzzzz.

I do love a good polite response "

I didn’t say anything rude. I did however say a few posts back that I was moving on from this as my curiosity (not anger note) has been satisfied. Unfortunately many often only read the bits they want to read. But each to their own.

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By *luttyLaylaWoman
over a year ago

North West


"I don’t understand the problem at all…

It’s a public site, which anyone can look at.

I’m only here for clubs but still look at peoples profiles.

I don’t meet couples but still nosey on some peoples profiles.

Looking at a profile doesn’t mean your interested or expect to play with them… I don’t presume men looking at my profile are into me…

Find this utterly bizzare tbh

Zzzzzzz.

I do love a good polite response

I didn’t say anything rude. I did however say a few posts back that I was moving on from this as my curiosity (not anger note) has been satisfied. Unfortunately many often only read the bits they want to read. But each to their own."

I read it all. Probably best not to presume…

And commented as the thread was still open

Unfortunately when you post something it’s open to the public on here to comment as they wish

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate

[Removed by poster at 08/06/23 20:29:50]

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate

[Removed by poster at 08/06/23 20:36:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They could have followed verifications, to see who others are meeting.

They may prefer to lead, making the first move in messages.

Some struggle knowing how to handle receiving a message from someone that have no interest, so block and make the move towards those that catch their interest.

They could have looked after a forum post.

Maybe they're just passing time and looking around for the sake of it.

Sometimes, people are online, and look around not because they're looking for a meet, but because they've followed a wormhole.

What I'll suggest is to not concern yourself with how others use the site, though to have understanding can really help.

If you can't contact them, there's nothing you can do, so don't worry about it and look elsewhere.

Good luck, OP.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

the simple answer is because they can and they will no matter what you think ...

when you post in the forum you'll get a wide reply thats the point of the forums anyone can answer and will as long as not rude or nasty and within the rules then all good

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"They could have followed verifications, to see who others are meeting.

They may prefer to lead, making the first move in messages.

Some struggle knowing how to handle receiving a message from someone that have no interest, so block and make the move towards those that catch their interest.

They could have looked after a forum post.

Maybe they're just passing time and looking around for the sake of it.

Sometimes, people are online, and look around not because they're looking for a meet, but because they've followed a wormhole.

What I'll suggest is to not concern yourself with how others use the site, though to have understanding can really help.

If you can't contact them, there's nothing you can do, so don't worry about it and look elsewhere.

Good luck, OP."

Thanks and all fair points. I should say that I didn’t message them and didn’t think to and won’t. I simply saw that they’d viewed my profile and I was curious as to why given their clear disinterest and perhaps dislike for single guys they had looked at me but as you say, there are a few reasons to choose from.

It’s not changed my world in any way but thought I’d ask the question on here. Will keep quiet next time as a quiet life is better!

Have fun and take care.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate

[Removed by poster at 08/06/23 20:54:32]

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"[Removed by poster at 08/06/23 20:54:32]"

Very true on all points. One person did tell me to “fuck off”, but I’m a big boy (oooer missus - sorry) and can take it!

Have fun and take care.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"[Removed by poster at 08/06/23 20:54:32]

Very true on all points. One person did tell me to “fuck off”, but I’m a big boy (oooer missus - sorry) and can take it!

Have fun and take care.

"

I mean, in context it was a fuck off in the general direction of the people who message me after a profile view not in stealth mode. But take it personally if you want

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate

I would reply to say thanks but you blocked me so can only assume it was meant personally. No big deal.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"I would reply to say thanks but you blocked me so can only assume it was meant personally. No big deal. "

I block anyone I don't want mail from.

It's a much better feature of the site than the who's looked at me or the ability to see if someone has read a message you've sent them

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate


"I would reply to say thanks but you blocked me so can only assume it was meant personally. No big deal.

I block anyone I don't want mail from.

It's a much better feature of the site than the who's looked at me or the ability to see if someone has read a message you've sent them "

You can block more or don't. I'm not bothered either way and I'd certainly never have messaged you at any time for any reason.

Anyway, have fun on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"They could have followed verifications, to see who others are meeting.

They may prefer to lead, making the first move in messages.

Some struggle knowing how to handle receiving a message from someone that have no interest, so block and make the move towards those that catch their interest.

They could have looked after a forum post.

Maybe they're just passing time and looking around for the sake of it.

Sometimes, people are online, and look around not because they're looking for a meet, but because they've followed a wormhole.

What I'll suggest is to not concern yourself with how others use the site, though to have understanding can really help.

If you can't contact them, there's nothing you can do, so don't worry about it and look elsewhere.

Good luck, OP.

Thanks and all fair points. I should say that I didn’t message them and didn’t think to and won’t. I simply saw that they’d viewed my profile and I was curious as to why given their clear disinterest and perhaps dislike for single guys they had looked at me but as you say, there are a few reasons to choose from.

It’s not changed my world in any way but thought I’d ask the question on here. Will keep quiet next time as a quiet life is better!

Have fun and take care. "

Asking questions can help the use of this site.

We all should do it, and we all should answer reasonably or not at all.

Ask away, and ignore any grumps, they've spent too long here and frustrated at reading the same thing.

Let me add, I'm not sure if anyone has replied in that way, I've not read all the thread.

Ask away.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"You can block more or don't. I'm not bothered either way and I'd certainly never have messaged you at any time for any reason.

Anyway, have fun on here."

Than there's no need to complain about it if it doesn't affect your journey on here.

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By *unguy0069 OP   Man
over a year ago

Reigate

No complaints. Just saying what was said.

Anyway, I'm sure you can live happily without chatting to me so shall we just call it a day on our conversation. I'm going to so you might as well too.

Have fun. Bye.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course, it may be that they might be looking for attached guys playing away from home and not interested in 'single' men and so clicking on a male profile to see if tgey can find what they're looking for

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By *hawn ScottMan
over a year ago

london Brixton

Despite my profile clearly stating no single men all I get is single men asking to fuck my wife.

I just block them

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By *eathrow pineappleCouple
over a year ago

West London


"Despite my profile clearly stating no single men all I get is single men asking to fuck my wife.

I just block them

"
I don't blame you. We have blocked single men purely to stop us getting bombarded With friend requests and unwanted and often crass messages.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Back of the bins.


"Sometimes their profiles are entertaining.

Sometimes their pictures are funny.

Sometimes there might be a forum comment, which makes us want to know more about that person.

Sometimes we want to see who has verified the profile we're planning to meet.

Sometimes you might want to see who the profile we're planning to meet has verified.

Sometimes we might want to see who is nearby.

Sometimes we might want to see who else is going to a club or party that we plan to attend."

Literally came here to say this!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I look at blokes profiles, I'm not interested in men at all, usually it's from forum posts I check the profile out or if there local to make sure I don't recognise them, theres lots of reasons.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We actually are looking for single guys but in answer to your question, we often lol at guys profiles that are of no interest to us because of a mad or ranting status update just to get a go age of just how off their rocker they actually are.

It’s an eye opener sometimes. "

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By *sh8286Couple
over a year ago

Guildford

Female part of a couple that has 'no single men' - and I do look at single male profiles on occasion. For an assortment of reasons - off the top of my head:

- read a forum post that made me smile so I go check out the profile - or even one of those clickbait 'whats wrong with my profile' posts.

- they may have fabbed our pics so I'll sometimes go and be nosy in return

- recently I've been looking for inspiration for pics I can take of hubby as our profile is pretty much my boobs or blow job shots and I'd like to add a bit of variety and show him off

- we have mentioned potential threesomes, not sure we're ready yet but if we are at any point then we'll browse profiles and message men we are interested in rather than switch the single men filter on and risk being inundated.

So, lots of reasons for people to be checking our your profile

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By *oupleJCCouple
over a year ago

The Big Smoke, London.

[Removed by poster at 13/06/23 10:50:59]

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"Hi.

I was wondering what the thinking is behind couples who say that they aren’t looking for single guys yet view single guys profiles.

I fully understand, appreciate and respect that couples have “not looking for single guys” on their profile to keep all the often constant classless and tasteless messages away that consist of one word (maybe two) messages, yet may still be interested in single guys.

I would also like to say I’m not one to randomly message couples or single women I’ve never met as it has so many different negative traits for single men. I’ve seen single guys behave or speak inappropriately towards couples and women in clubs and have been shown the sort of messages men send on here and I want to be no part of it but have often said to those kind of guys in clubs to back off if it’s clear they are not being respectful.

What I don’t understand is when a couple looks at my profile yet isn’t looking for single guys. As I said, some are, but more discreetly and it’s often possible to work out if they are or not by what they’ve written in their profile. I still don’t take that as a cue to send them a message as I don’t want to presume anything and believe that if they were interested they would send a ‘wink’.

It’s the ones who make it crystal clear they aren’t looking for single guys in any way shape or form. I had a couple look at my profile this morning and theirs stated very clearly:

“No single Men. Any who look, wink or messages us will be blocked”.

Well don’t worry, I’ve saved you the trouble of blocking me, but given what you’ve clearly written, why look at my and probably other single guy’s profiles in the first place? Another couple who stated they have no interest in single guys catfished my profile picture about a year ago to use as their own! They didn’t even catfish a woman’s profile picture!

This isn’t a rant (believe it or not!) but I don’t really understand why people do things having stated something different and would be interested in hearing peoples thoughts on it.

Thanks. "

We all look at clothes in a shop window but don't all feel the need to go in and touch them. In the same way on here straight cpls and singles look at our profile when they are not after bi cpls. People look on here sometimes due to being nosey, bored or just because they can. Don't take it personal as us humans are curious creatures who just like to look at everything just to peak our curiousity on times. J&J

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

Because I can.

Much the same as I look at expensive handbags and shoes that I usually have no intention of buying.

K

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By *hropsDuoCouple
over a year ago

Shropshire

Could just be like us.. we're old and clumsy with our thumbs and quite often accidentally click on someone's profile that we have no interest in when we're scrolling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why I always view in mode.

I can look at who I want, when I want.

I’m in and out and no one’s the wiser!

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By *kyblue1878Couple
over a year ago

Southport

It's to discourage contact from single guys who might actually read the profile. Some couples put we'll find you. Essentially, if a couple is looking at your profile there could be a number of reasons but not necessarily meaning they want to meet, it could just be following a comment made in the forum's. We adopt the stealth mode so you wouldn't know we had looked at a profile. If we wanted someone to know we'd looked we may fab a picture.

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By *ubcdverykinkyMan
over a year ago

Bourne lincs

Sites full of people looking at ur pics

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It only says 'not looking for single men'if someone puts a message filter on to stop guys contacting them.

It doesn't mean they're not interested. It just means they browse and make first contact themselves.

We do it a lot.

A"

That’s actually a good idea.

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

We do play with single guys many couples do But they don’t want to be bombarded with messages if we find one of interest we will message or wink , but the ones that contact us I tell to visit the club we meet guys at

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

here I thought that anyone could just look at whoever they wanted to without having to explain or justify ....I'm not actively looking for one on one's but if I come across an interesting profile I might be inclined to explore it provided they are open to it.

I think a lot of these posts start from oh they've looked at me but not chosen me so they should not have looked in the first place ....

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By *heHookyMonsterMan
over a year ago

Liverpool


"I really don't see any problem with anyone looking at my profile I really don't get why your so upset about it, most of my views are from straight single guys but again so what just live and let live lol

I keep saying but some people can’t seem to understand that I’m not in the least bit upset. I’m just curious. I said in the OP it wasn’t a rant but some have chosen to ignore that point and have a rant. Still, each to their own. Enjoy all your views, likes, winks etc and I hope you have fun. "

Right or wrong, you won't win as a single guy on Fab - especially in the forums. No matter how genuine you are people will get stuck into you and be unpleasant........though if a single woman does so they get bombarded with sympathy. This is how Fab hypocrisy is.

As a single bloke myself I'd advise staying away from starting threads (though not necessarily responding on them) as you're asking for a world of hurt from some pretty unpleasant human beings who will do so just to be spiteful, or will misunderstand a post and find the worst possible way to look at it. All of that being said (and I totally get you being puzzled) it's really not worth a moment of your brainpower. Just shake your head quietly and move on. Personally I'm glad of stealth mode so I can imagine loads of great women (and there are plenty of awesome ones) do it that way.

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By *zlakMan
over a year ago

Norwich

To be fair to couples i think they have that so they dont get a thousand messages a week from single guys. And is there really any harm in looking at a profile? Just because someome looks at a profile doesn't mean they want to meet they might just be curious?

Well thats my take on it anyway

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex


"here I thought that anyone could just look at whoever they wanted to without having to explain or justify ....I'm not actively looking for one on one's but if I come across an interesting profile I might be inclined to explore it provided they are open to it.

I think a lot of these posts start from oh they've looked at me but not chosen me so they should not have looked in the first place ....

"

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By *randMrsNorthernCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire

Think the OP is reading way into this in the feint glimmer of (perhaps false) presumption and hope…

I’m not interested in half the shite I click on. I’ll look at a shirt in a shop and may even check the price tag, knowing full well I wouldn’t be seen dead in it and am not going to buy it.

We aren’t looking for single guys. It’s clear in our bio and yet we might sometimes have a nosey because, well, we are being just that - nosey.

If you’re one of those guys who says “I saw you looked at me and know you aren’t looking for single men but…” then consider the above advice.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Looking means nothing.

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By *lleyCat1969Man
over a year ago

Folkestone

I don't understand what the issue is here.

People whether they are male, female, trans, single, part of a couple, or whatever, will look at a profile because they want to, or they won't because they don't want to. So what?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get loads of this .. guessing they actually are looking for single guys but have it down that they aren't and blocking them so they don't get crazy amounts of messages but means you can't say hello until they first message you..

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