FabSwingers.com forum: Where am I going wrong??!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I've been on here a while now, but nothing..... nothing!

I'm patient, send decent messages - not your usual one-liners, and am probably biased but think my profile ain't bad!

Have set my search to 30 miles, I go in the chat rooms but they're a bit clique right? Thinking of giving up and becoming a monk!!

Any advice welcome (ish) !!

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By *amieandjulieCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Look fine to me, but loads on here looking for meets etc so be patient and keep trying.......good luck

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By *exykirstyWoman
over a year ago

North of Manchester

Get to a social or a club, more and more people are meeting at clubs.

There are socials in Newcastle which will get you to meet people and get verified.

I bet you have not been without it for the 7 months you have been on here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tbh pal half of ppl on here are ignorant be patient

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By *preadeagleCouple
over a year ago

hull

Go to a club u'll find if u update ur status others will be goin soon after all theres enough people on here to break the ice x

good luck

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Tbh pal half of ppl on here are ignorant be patient

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"I've been on here a while now, but nothing..... nothing!

I'm patient, send decent messages - not your usual one-liners, and am probably biased but think my profile ain't bad!

Have set my search to 30 miles, I go in the chat rooms but they're a bit clique right? Thinking of giving up and becoming a monk!!

Any advice welcome (ish) !!"

Your profile is not too bad. Can you go to a local club?? It can be tough on here. Hope you get some luck soon x

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By *am123Man
over a year ago

essex chelmsford

you said ur self on the profile 1woman 3000 blokes that answers ur own question dont it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get to a social or a club, more and more people are meeting at clubs.

There are socials in Newcastle which will get you to meet people and get verified.

I bet you have not been without it for the 7 months you have been on here!

Maybe I have, maybe I haven't! (Mysterious, eh?)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Are single blokes at clubs not like the losers in the corner though??

Me, a towel, and a flat ... not sure it'd be a great night?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So the chatroom are a clique and singleguys in clubs are losers? Think those 2 statements speak volumes personally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the chatroom are a clique"

Yeh they are..

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

"So the chatroom are a clique and singleguys in clubs are losers? Think those 2 statements speak volumes personally."

Always negative comments, the guy didn't say those statements in the context that you have read them.

GeordieLad Your not going wrong, just keep trying

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Keep going, but widen your search further out... might just make the difference

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the chatroom are a clique and singleguys in clubs are losers? Think those 2 statements speak volumes personally.

Always negative comments, the guy didn't say those statements in the context that you have read them.

GeordieLad Your not going wrong, just keep trying"

Negative? Or to the point?

Stock answers on these threads include "join in chat" and "go to club and socials". But he has dismissed one in his opening post and another as soon as it has been suggested. So yes I think it speaks volumes, because if he won't put the effort in how will he get the result he wants?

And if he's not doing anything wrong, why is he starting a thread bemoaning getting "nothing" in 7 months?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the same been trying for ages and nothing I even had a girl say I was too good looking to meet me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are single blokes at clubs not like the losers in the corner though??

Me, a towel, and a flat ... not sure it'd be a great night?!"

If you want to get anywhere in a club thats the exact opposite haha. We've played with plenty of single blokes because they've come over and spoke to us and not been pushy

The losers in the corner wanking at any woman who walks past do put you off a bit like xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

clubs and single guys:

show some balls(I mean in personality)-smile,chat if u can,behave...dont expect anything just cos ur in the club..

if u get chatting to anyone, find out their usernames on fab...ask for some form of verify...even if its got nothing to do with playing.

chatrooms:

cant get a word in? getting ignored?...ever considered its just a faster form of forum?...I find too many guys come in..set a target and try chatting to whos on cam...and are very specific about who they chat to... more often than not..they arent integrating in the room.Theres normally plenty of banter flying around...some of its got nothing to do with sex...thats hwre lots fail and please please never shout out

single guy here, 36 big cock etc etc..ur not bloody unique

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, in my view, your profile is fine.

I would agree with keenphotographer, though, when you come to the chatrooms be prepared to put the effort in.

~ say "hi everyone" when you arrive (and be prepared that everyone might be tied up in convos, so you might get no immediate response, the first few times. Whatever you do, don't whinge about this or anything!)

~ chat with everyone, not just the people you hope to meet

~ chatting with people who are NOT on cam is likely to be more productive ('cus everyone wants to chat with the cammers)

~ keep the conversation social - don't talk about sex

~ READ the room - sit quietly and work out WHO the most popular guys are, and why... then you know what NOT to say

Use the chatrooms as a springboard to getting to know people who hold socials. If you come to Northern Chat, you will see that there is at least one social a month.

OK, you might find that a social is just that - social only and no sex - but through chat and socials, you will find that you have made many friends, and some of them will then be willing to meet privately with you.

Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh, and I forgot to say, when you're in the chatroom, put your cam on (face or hunky chest only!) and be prepared for no-one to watch it. But.... the mere fact that you're prepared to cam will help people to start to trust you. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know exactly how you feel. here's a few tips I found help. update your status regularly. it'll appear on the home page of all the people local to you. I often go to the home page to see who's new and see new profile updates. putting new pics on your profile every few weeks helps too. again it will appear on local updates on the home page promoting yourself. message 20 people and you'll probably get 1 reply. that's just normal you're not going to be everyone's cup of tea. I also agree with previous comments. Despite it being a sex site some people do like non sex chat at first. I agree its difficult to join in chat in cam rooms. Just imagine its a busy pub or club. you wouldn't interrupt a group of people chatting that you didn't know, go for the woman who's on her own or waiting to be served at the bar. apply that way of thinking to the chat room and it might help. most of all be patient. having verifications help your chances too. I'm sure if you went on cam and showed something someone will sooner or later be prepared to give you a cam verification. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you everyone, some really good advice and I'm glad I seem to be going in the right direction! You all need to move to the East Midlands and be my Fab mates!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why aye yah bugger! My ex-wife is a Geordie!! Suggest you sort out the 'cannot accommodate' part of your profile. If you are 38 and can't accommodate, there is an issue there. We would take that as meaning you have a partner/wife which may matter to some people. Also, I think you should be more up-beat ... you sound a bit sorry for yourself. Hope that helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same here have been on here for ages but not a single meet.

Can someone advise me on my profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be honest guys, if your not findin much luck on here, then try a club! I'm goin to in the next few weeks,

Might sound daunting? But how many things have you done in life, before hand you've got butterfly's and feel sick your that nervous but when live done it its great! And you feel like such a plonked for even being nervous!

There's a style of club for everyone! So do your research and get out there!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've* plonker* damn auto correct!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Same here have been on here for ages but not a single meet.

Can someone advise me on my profile.

Rather than hijacking someone else's thread, why not start your own?

There'll be plenty of people willing to offer you advise.

crystal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Same here have been on here for ages but not a single meet.

Can someone advise me on my profile.

Rather than hijacking someone else's thread, why not start your own?

There'll be plenty of people willing to offer you advise.

crystal"

Heard there's a new forum section opening called 'Moaning men'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been on here a while now, but nothing..... nothing!

I'm patient, send decent messages - not your usual one-liners, and am probably biased but think my profile ain't bad!

Have set my search to 30 miles, I go in the chat rooms but they're a bit clique right? Thinking of giving up and becoming a monk!!

Any advice welcome (ish) !!"

You'll need to get a bald head and buy a long robe

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is getting funny. That's more like it!!

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By *stwoCouple
over a year ago

anywhere

Any guy your age that has doesnt accommodate on his profile and contacts us with no explanation as to why he doesnt we ignore.We assume its some guy cheating on his wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im having same problem as the OP. Someone said go in the chatrooms I've done that and I'd agree with op it's very cliquey!

I am considering going to a club but am hesitant due to 'cold shoulder 'on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no idea where Brackley or Coventry is.... but I can assure you, the peeps in Fab Northern Swingers Chat are very friendly (and funny, and the cammers are mostly gorgeous!). So take a click and come chat with us!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how you feel mate, I've tried it all for the months and months I have been on here. I was advised by a friend that it's a great site and I would soon be making friends etc. no chance I have tried it all except clubs, like you I am afraid of sitting in the corner billy no mates! The people on chat are polite etc, but they're not interested in me just chat with thier known friends. I travel the country and had the same negative response all over. To be honest all but given up and just log on occasionally now to what's changed, but when i see a post like yours I realise nothing has!

I think it's down to luck and what the girls fancy from the Sweety Shop.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Learn this OP

Deus meus in te confido

labia mea laudabunt te Jesu

agnus dei in te confido

audi voces te adorant, te precantes

animam meam levavi ad te

Benedictus tu coqnovisti me

te laudamus veni domine

deus meus inte confido

defende nos ab hostibus Jesu

agnus dei in te confido

presta pacis incrementum, memento verbi

animam meam levavi ad te

Benedictus - miserere nobis

te laudamus veni domine

deus meus in te confido

agnus dei qui tolis preccata mundi

sine te nihil est in domine

Jesu Christe, Redemptor omnium

te laudamus veni domine

It'll come in handy as a monk

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I think when you signed up to a swingers website as a single male and expected to get regular meets was where you went wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well don't just site there mailing get your self seen .... And that's forums , web cam , swing clubs, parties, Get mixing and when doing you mail think of something different to say to the person as most mail can be boring after a time ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I think I need to grow some hair to get more meets.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tbh pal half of ppl on here are ignorant be patient

What exactly r people ignorant of :/

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"Tbh pal half of ppl on here are ignorant be patient

What half?

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Ok a bit of constructive advice (for a wee change from me

) a great many single guys have absolutely no problem meeting from here so maybe look at ..do you have the right approach ,do you have the right expectations could you stand out from the crowd....if your answer is no to any of they questions give up now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile made me chuckle the bit about sydney university was funny lol profile is fine be patient dont live near ya unfortunately will b heading to infusions blackpool valentines day get yourself down there for a bit of craic lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know how you feel mate, I've tried it all for the months and months I have been on here. I was advised by a friend that it's a great site and I would soon be making friends etc. no chance I have tried it all except clubs, like you I am afraid of sitting in the corner billy no mates! The people on chat are polite etc, but they're not interested in me just chat with thier known friends. I travel the country and had the same negative response all over. To be honest all but given up and just log on occasionally now to what's changed, but when i see a post like yours I realise nothing has!

I think it's down to luck and what the girls fancy from the Sweety Shop.

uve learned stuff from the forums...perhaps its time to check the advice on improving the profile.

this "i dont weanna feel like a spare prick in a swinging club" gets me, if intent on group meets it shouldnt be a problem

at parties or clubs as a single Ive not had sex some i dont know..however once they get to know u...there could be another meetup, party or something else.

those who arent really willing to show they can meet people without thinking of auto-fucks often fail in the swinging world

if its guaranteed sex anyones after...they are always gonna be told they are in the wrong place

so my advice?- socials...clubs- just get it done and try to at least think of it as meeting likeminded people regardless of if u get to fuck them.Even if u go for a perv...its worth that alone lol...some guys go to strip clubs to watch a woman dance..and they pay silly amounts of money for that itself..

I go to a club...and I can basically watch 3d porn and of course..possibly be invited to participate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think for most guys it's just patient there are just so many lovely guys to choose from. I've noticed most men just do a completely new profile after a few months. The longer you've been on without, the more suspicious people tend to be. A verification from a meet is what most people are looking for. It's hard to persuade most people to give you a chance when they aren't entirely sure if they will get stood up. The hardest part is getting your first meet veri then you'll have way more responses. Goodluck;-)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been on here for 4 weeks now and not a sausage ! lol well saying that I have been offered a few sausages but its some nice pussy I really want xx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

"I've been on here a while now, but nothing..... nothing!

I'm patient, send decent messages - not your usual one-liners, and am probably biased but think my profile ain't bad!

Have set my search to 30 miles, I go in the chat rooms but they're a bit clique right? Thinking of giving up and becoming a monk!!

Any advice welcome (ish) !!"

Step 1 - say you're not meeting and only here to make friends and have a laugh.... it's reverse psychology.

Step 2 - say you are really selective and a personality is the most important thing that draws you to a person - it's a nice way of saying you'll fuck mingers if they chat with you first.

Step 3 - chat to people as if you are not interested in banging them - more reverse psychology.

Step 4 - tell people they are lovely, even if you don't believe it.

Step 5 - get your username known.

Step 6 - take time to flatter those with low self confidence - they take the bait the quickest.

Step 7 - drop hints that you are looking for something more fulfilling than meaningless sex, but you don't know if you'll ever find what that is - that's the bait.

Step 8 - meet anyone who offers (take one for the team as they say) and get them to drop hints about you being lovely and a hot lover - the less secure will think they are missing out on something and start flinging their knickers at you.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"I've been on here a while now, but nothing..... nothing!

I'm patient, send decent messages - not your usual one-liners, and am probably biased but think my profile ain't bad!

Have set my search to 30 miles, I go in the chat rooms but they're a bit clique right? Thinking of giving up and becoming a monk!!

Any advice welcome (ish) !!

Step 1 - say you're not meeting and only here to make friends and have a laugh.... it's reverse psychology.

Step 2 - say you are really selective and a personality is the most important thing that draws you to a person - it's a nice way of saying you'll fuck mingers if they chat with you first.

Step 3 - chat to people as if you are not interested in banging them - more reverse psychology.

Step 4 - tell people they are lovely, even if you don't believe it.

Step 5 - get your username known.

Step 6 - take time to flatter those with low self confidence - they take the bait the quickest.

Step 7 - drop hints that you are looking for something more fulfilling than meaningless sex, but you don't know if you'll ever find what that is - that's the bait.

brilliant x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ha ha ha thank you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right a good way to get replies is to analyse the person and the profile then if you find anything interesting in the profile or about the person include it in a message.

If your messaging a newbie message them when they have been on for a few weeks as they are going to be hounded by thousands of messages within the first few weeks.

Not everyone wants a friendly hello how are you message. Be kind in the message too such as saying "sorry if I am wasting your time" kindness does get you somewhere.

Make your profile more appealing. Not everyone wants to see your chest and privates some do want to see a surprise when they do meet up. A shirt and tie goes a long way.

If they do want to chat to you and it does come to where they would like to meet you meet for a coffee or somewhere first. They feel your not desperate and are a gentleman.

These have worked fine for me

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