FabSwingers.com forum: sub/dom master/mistress

By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

we frequently see on the forums and receive pm from people on here looking for a master a mistress a dom or a sub and asking how they find one ?

as stated on my post elsewhere the best and probably safest way to do this is to find your nearest munch(fetish social) and get your self along

you will find the folk there a friendly fun and inclusive bunch usually happy to help a newbie what ever your kink tv ts dom sub gay strait bi all inclusive .

where do i find them you say try looking in the events section on FETLIFE you can usually find a contact number for the event organizer who will be more than happy to provide you with help and reassurance

what goes on you say its just a group of people in a pub or bar who happen to be into bdsm chatting dressed in normal street clothes

if you do take head of the above and find what you want have fun and stay safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"we frequently see on the forums and receive pm from people on here looking for a master a mistress a dom or a sub and asking how they find one ?

as stated on my post elsewhere the best and probably safest way to do this is to find your nearest munch(fetish social) and get your self along

you will find the folk there a friendly fun and inclusive bunch usually happy to help a newbie what ever your kink tv ts dom sub gay strait bi all inclusive .

what goes on you say its just a group of people in a pub or bar who happen to be into bdsm chatting dressed in normal street clothes

if you do take head of the above and find what you want have fun and stay safe "

We went to our first munch in November and although everyone was lovely, friendly and welcoming-we were a tad disappointed!

It was as if anything to do with kink was banned! We were in a very private part of the bar and yet felt very uncomfortable asking questions about kink nights at local clubs etc. It was just like a big group of friends just getting together for a chat-which is lovely and like i say they were all great....but we can do that with our own friends lol thats not really what we went along for.

Are all munches like this? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is a good thing but many find it to intimidating. And like the previous poster said at most munches I have been to your discouraged from talking about it

I have attended the sinsation events recently and even being experienced I've learnt a lot.

I often get messages from people new to the lifestyle and find that you can find advice everywhere.

I've had more wannabe dominants on fetlife than on here to be fair.

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By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"we frequently see on the forums and receive pm from people on here looking for a master a mistress a dom or a sub and asking how they find one ?

as stated on my post elsewhere the best and probably safest way to do this is to find your nearest munch(fetish social) and get your self along

you will find the folk there a friendly fun and inclusive bunch usually happy to help a newbie what ever your kink tv ts dom sub gay strait bi all inclusive .

what goes on you say its just a group of people in a pub or bar who happen to be into bdsm chatting dressed in normal street clothes

if you do take head of the above and find what you want have fun and stay safe

We went to our first munch in November and although everyone was lovely, friendly and welcoming-we were a tad disappointed!

Are all munches like this? x"
sorry to here you had an experience like this must say the munches we have been to have been like this maybe we are lucky ? Most munches will discourge out & out fetish play bit chatting and discusion never had that .some munches are play munches now these are a whole different kettle of fish .

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By *witch mix vanillaCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

It all depends on the munch, who is running it and where it is.

The Manchester munch been to a few times, has some great discussions about anything and everything.

A lot of the time, the new attendee has to make the first move and ask questions.

Going to events, lucky for us there are quite a few in the Manchester and surrounding area's.

A play much can be a better event to attend and learn things from.

But it all depends on what you what from the lifestyle.

Books do help, so does the internet,

fetlife and fetbook, are both good sites. fetbbook being more aimed at the UK.

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By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"It all depends on the munch, who is running it and where it is.

The Manchester munch been to a few times, has some great discussions about anything and everything.

A lot of the time, the new attendee has to make the first move and ask questions.

Going to events, lucky for us there are quite a few in the Manchester and surrounding area's.

A play much can be a better event to attend and learn things from.

But it all depends on what you what from the lifestyle.

Books do help, so does the internet,

fetlife and fetbook, are both good sites. fetbbook being more aimed at the UK."
Manchester munch is brilliant for newbies have never been discouraged form talking about kink at any of the Manchester events maybe we are spoiled

looking forward to kage on sunday

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I don't see why it's so frowned upon to dip your toes in BDSM on here.

People might feel that there is an air of expectation if they sign up to websites dedicated to the lifestyle.

I personally found my last master through connections on here, and am now enjoying developing and exploring links with my current partner who I met on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see why it's so frowned upon to dip your toes in BDSM on here.

People might feel that there is an air of expectation if they sign up to websites dedicated to the lifestyle.

I personally found my last master through connections on here, and am now enjoying developing and exploring links with my current partner who I met on here "

Is it frowned upon on here? Thats a real shame if it is! Hope you haven't had any bad experiences

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By *ardbellyCouple
over a year ago

Alicante

I'm not saying anything ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any munches around Dunstable area ?

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By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"I don't see why it's so frowned upon to dip your toes in BDSM on here.

People might feel that there is an air of expectation if they sign up to websites dedicated to the lifestyle.

I personally found my last master through connections on here, and am now enjoying developing and exploring links with my current partner who I met on here

Is it frowned upon on here? Thats a real shame if it is! Hope you haven't had any bad experiences

"
to some extent yes it is some swingers can be a bit anti bdsm but having said that some on the bdsm scene can be anti swingers i think this is mainly due to "wankey men" you get at crossover events foloowing the ladys about and disturbing play scenes this is just a personal obsevation from being involved with both scenes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any munches around Dunstable area ?"

Yes. And the scene in London is thriving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see why it's so frowned upon to dip your toes in BDSM on here.

People might feel that there is an air of expectation if they sign up to websites dedicated to the lifestyle.

I personally found my last master through connections on here, and am now enjoying developing and exploring links with my current partner who I met on here

Is it frowned upon on here? Thats a real shame if it is! Hope you haven't had any bad experiences

to some extent yes it is some swingers can be a bit anti bdsm but having said that some on the bdsm scene can be anti swingers i think this is mainly due to "wankey men" you get at crossover events foloowing the ladys about and disturbing play scenes this is just a personal obsevation from being involved with both scenes "

Ahhh yes the "wankey men" we've all been there! Hopefully we will never come across this negativity for dipping our toes into both pools!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had more wannabe dominants on fetlife than on here to be fair."

Personally I think that the way Fet is structured it makes the wannabies very easy to spot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's easy to spot them anyway lol.

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By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough

"Any munches around Dunstable area ?"

Try googling Watford Munch

Your also less than 30 mins from 2 monthly fet fairs in London

London Alternative Market

and

London Fetish Fair

Both are cheap to get in to, have equipment stalls and vendors willing to explain and demonstrate kit.

Both normally have an informational demo or workshop, flyers for clubs etc and are full of kinky people

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By *istress ValeporcaCouple
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

I don't use the 'fet' site, I use another and not all Dommes attend munches and events, personally I cant stand them, yet I still have plenty of subs x Muches and events aren't the bee all and end all in BDSM, events tend to be full of Dom/mes strutting about, real world you're on a socail outing not a D/s sessions x it really winds me up the 'don't you know what I am?' types x Mistress V x

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

" it really winds me up the 'don't you know what I am?' types x Mistress V x"

It usually winds those sorts up more if you tell them truthfully and exactly what they are...

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't see why it's so frowned upon to dip your toes in BDSM on here.

People might feel that there is an air of expectation if they sign up to websites dedicated to the lifestyle.

I personally found my last master through connections on here, and am now enjoying developing and exploring links with my current partner who I met on here

Is it frowned upon on here? Thats a real shame if it is! Hope you haven't had any bad experiences

The first rule of fab swingers , you don't talk about bdsm.

The second rule of fab swingers , you don't talk about bdsm

and as was said on a thread not so long ago "this is a swingers site not a bdsm site, you would be better on a fetish site"

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By *atasha_DavidCouple
over a year ago

Slough

" it really winds me up the 'don't you know what I am?' types x Mistress V x

It usually winds those sorts up more if you tell them truthfully and exactly what they are...

Wolf

What, you mean Poseurs in heels and a corset with a tescos riding crop?

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

" it really winds me up the 'don't you know what I am?' types x Mistress V x

It usually winds those sorts up more if you tell them truthfully and exactly what they are...

Wolf

What, you mean Poseurs in heels and a corset with a tescos riding crop?

That's my *best* outfit I'll have you know!

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any munches around Dunstable area ?

Yes. And the scene in London is thriving. "
you mentioned a club foot tetish event innanother forum..where and when..thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fetish

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"I don't use the 'fet' site, I use another and not all Dommes attend munches and events, personally I cant stand them, yet I still have plenty of subs x Muches and events aren't the bee all and end all in BDSM, events tend to be full of Dom/mes strutting about, real world you're on a socail outing not a D/s sessions x it really winds me up the 'don't you know what I am?' types x Mistress V x"

Thankfully there are very few, if any of those in the North West... well, it's more that the clubs and munches and those operating them don't tolerate that kind of nonsense as it's off putting for so many of us!

It is a shame InformedConsent is changing it's role, as that was the best place to find out what munches etc were on, although I think they may be keeping that for the time being!

To the person who felt they were unable to talk about bdsm/fet at their first visit to the munch...

We kinksters can be a strange crowd, most people on the scene are quite private and any enquiries as to activities they enjoy are seen as intrusive, kinksters don't talk as openly as swingers, it's something that I still, on occasions find hard (from the kinkster to swinger perspective)

Don't be disheartened though, they really are a lovely bunch of perverts when you get to know them!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any munches around Dunstable area ?

Yes. And the scene in London is thriving. you mentioned a club foot tetish event innanother forum..where and when..thanks"

Just join one of the 2 site mentioned on this thread and look in the events listing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess the problem is that lots of men claim to be a Dom as they think it gives them an "in" with those ladies and couples who list it as an interest.

These guys are not experienced and therefore have no idea what to do, or what it involves. Therefore it is frowned upon to stop the "wannabes" pestering people.

I am learning how to Dom my oh. But only to an extent we both feel comfortable. when i first met my oh I wasn't into Bdsm. But we discussed what she liked, tried a little and now I know what she likes. And she trust me not to overstep the mark.

We would consider bringing others into our Bdsm play, but mainly swing to have fun away from our kinks.

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By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

We would consider bringing others into our Bdsm play, but mainly swing to have fun away from our kinks."
which shows you are learning and being carefull with each other creating your own dynamic and good luck with it

there is no right way or wrong way for S&M just unsafe and dangerous ways stay safe people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats happening to IC?

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By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"Whats happening to IC?"
its closing in April and changing into just an activism site

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By *ub bbwWoman
over a year ago

oldbury

I was put off going to munches as I went to one and was flanked by doms when they found out I was submissive. It was very intimidating and actually some were just disrespectful. I prefer swingers socials and will openly discuss my relationship with Sir with anyone there most swingers are fascinated by us. We do mix both worlds quite sucessfully and are very happy with it. We get a little fed up of the theatrics and almost scripted replies from people on fet they are all just online doms who if given a real life situation wouldn't know what to do.

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

No it's closing in February! If you have a profile and want to save writings or pictures I suggest you get on there ASAP!

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By *essiCouple
over a year ago

suffolk

"Any munches around Dunstable area ?

Yes. And the scene in London is thriving. "

it is...?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

We've found munches to be a bit hit and miss. Even the same munch can vary month to month with what is normally a good munch turning into a fuckwit magnet for no discernible reason.

I miss the White Horse munches in the West End

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By *ixenSubminxiveWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I've been going to munches recently and have found them ok so far.

Only been to one fet play event so far, and also a fet party at a friends house which was great fun!

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By *eavenNhell OP Couple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

Went to the kage play munch yesterday Fucking awsome as usual

Roll on the spankabull !

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By *amstarMan
over a year ago

Derby

If anyone is interested I like to be a dom if any lady or couple would like to meet just pm me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading this I think we must be lucky with the munches that we go to as we've never had a bad experience. We have Camden Crunch which is basically a club night and numerous smaller munches and they've all been nothing other than welcoming.

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

Hell, there is even quite a large scene in Southend!! With munches held monthly and social nights held in between.

Hoping to get to the LAM this month, but depends how much money I have left from the night before. If not I'll get to the Fet Fair a bit later on in the month.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hell, there is even quite a large scene in Southend!! With munches held monthly and social nights held in between.

Hoping to get to the LAM this month, but depends how much money I have left from the night before. If not I'll get to the Fet Fair a bit later on in the month.

Let me know if you do LAM. and we'll try and get down, be ace to see you again!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Any munches around Dunstable area ?

Yes. And the scene in London is thriving.

it is...?"

I guess how you define "thriving". Last friday we went to Bound. On the same night we could have gone to the London munch or Pedestal. Saturday there was the Femdom munch and Sunday Peer Rope Group. Now while 2 of those event held no appeal to us I think that is quite impressive choice for one weekend. There are at least 3 different North London monthly midweek munches. There is a different Central London Munch pretty much each week. There are 2 monthly markets LAM and LFF. And that's just off the top of my head and we don't even look what is on other then Central or North London.

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