FabSwingers.com forum: Getting over initial nerves

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A friend of mine has joined a similar site to this but he said that everytime he go to arrange a meet he gets stage fright in case hes not as good as what they were hoping or something similar. He's worried that he might know them from his work and comment on what they got up to during work hours which I assured him they wouldn't. Now he's a very shy guy as it is and it takes him a lot to get the confidence to talk to new people. But what advice could I give him to go for it and see what happens and get over those initial nerves of meeting someone new?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

in my opinion,,,, and it is only my opinion...

swinging is not for the sexually naive or inexperienced. It may end up damaging him for a very long time.

others most certainly will disagree as it may have worked out for some.

good luck to your friend whatever he chooses

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"in my opinion,,,, and it is only my opinion...

swinging is not for the sexually naive or inexperienced. It may end up damaging him for a very long time.

others most certainly will disagree as it may have worked out for some.

good luck to your friend whatever he chooses"

I agree. Your friend sounds as if he has low self esteem if he's thinking he wont be as good as they expect and one knock back (some people can be extremely "honest") could set him back for years. Swinging is not a way to get over nerves or shyness again in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he should work on his confidence first such as going to a pub or club and just learn to talk to new people then take it from there.What would happen if on his first meet he was so nervous he could not get it up? he could end up emotionally crushed for a long time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd agree with the hesitance expressed in the other replies. Does he really sound like the sort of person that would do well on here?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A friend of mine has joined a similar site to this but he said that everytime he go to arrange a meet he gets stage fright in case hes not as good as what they were hoping or something similar. He's worried that he might know them from his work and comment on what they got up to during work hours which I assured him they wouldn't. Now he's a very shy guy as it is and it takes him a lot to get the confidence to talk to new people. But what advice could I give him to go for it and see what happens and get over those initial nerves of meeting someone new?"
is that mate actually you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it doesn't just happen to newbies... right now I am struggling to meet.. have not organised a meet in a long time now.

Simply because I get too nervous.

Go to a club.. maybe on a social event. Its not much different to a normal night out at a pub/club...

except for the dress wear.

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By *amieandjulieCouple
over a year ago

Liverpool

If he is really that shy ( or is it you !!!! ) then you can't give him any advice, eventually he will find his level, but to be honest he sounds paranoid too, maybe swinging is not for him !!!!!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

All good answers. Everyone gets nerves before a meet, it's natural but not to the point of being scared of what might or might not happen. I always think swinging requires a person to have a certain level of confidence in themselves and also a high level of emotional maturity to cope with both positives and negatives. If your mate is unsure and too nervous to talk, his nervousness is not going to improve if he got his kit off. Stamp collecting is a popular hobby.

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