FabSwingers.com forum: What to message?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey all you lovely lot.

So I've been on off here for a few months and like most men struggling ??. I've tried I few things in my first message and nothing seems to work?

Has anyone got any advice on what to say or ask?

Thank you in advance. X

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By *rincess1988Woman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

Well, what have you tried?

Personally, something funny with a normal (face picture) works even if it is a “no, thanks”.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Recently been tryin something completely different and asking questions i.e

Pineapple on a pizza? Yes or no?

Thought would be a little different

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I like a message that shows me they've read my bio and that they fit what i'm looking for.

For example with mine "I see you're into Live comedy,who is the besy comedian you've seen ".

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Unfortunately there's no set formula to get a response.

Try to connect with something they've said on their profile is usually the best bet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you ladies. Will take that into account.

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By *rincess1988Woman
over a year ago

South Oxfordshire

"Recently been tryin something completely different and asking questions i.e

Pineapple on a pizza? Yes or no?

Thought would be a little different "

That would do nothing but bore me!

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Don't worry about message content anywhere near as much as you should worry about your profile.

Most women and couples will view a profile before opening a message.

Dull profiles with uninspiring photos and little to go on in profile text will mean messages get binned before being read.

Don't put the cart before the horse.

You could write the greatest opening message in history and it'll go unread because your profile doesn't interest someone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you A.

It's like a full time job this lol. Will take this all into consideration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Compare it to applying for a job position.

All the clues of the role on offer is in the advert/profile (hopefully).

Read the profile, recognise what they're looking for and if you feel you could fill that role, apply, referencing how you feel your criteria's match.

In short, read their profile, if you feel you are a match, express what caught your eye and offer something to catch their eye.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Read the profile.

Short polite msg, saying why you're interested, attach a face pic.

Don't mention pizza, got fed up of seeing that on regular dating sites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Read the profile.

Short polite msg, saying why you're interested, attach a face pic.

Don't mention pizza, got fed up of seeing that on regular dating sites."

Pizza? Is that some kind of code?

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

For us we make it pretty clear in our bio. If people haven’t read & followed it’s an instant delete.

Read the profile of peeps you want to engage with, don’t send anything overly crass/filthy, include recent face pics, be yourself and try pick up on the persons likes & dislikes.

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By *ope_kisses22Couple
over a year ago

Hyde

NGL..... 'does pineapple go on pizza' was my copy/paste msg on a dating site!! Lol

It's lazy... and I copy/pasted.....

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By *ope_kisses22Couple
over a year ago

Hyde

"Compare it to applying for a job position.

All the clues of the role on offer is in the advert/profile (hopefully).

Read the profile, recognise what they're looking for and if you feel you could fill that role, apply, referencing how you feel your criteria's match.

In short, read their profile, if you feel you are a match, express what caught your eye and offer something to catch their eye."

Best advice ^^^

Definitely DONT go..... I see I don't fit (whatever criteria the person has) but thought I'd message

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Definitely DONT go..... I see I don't fit (whatever criteria the person has) but thought I'd message

Get this A LOT, usually followed by an abusive message if we don’t respond.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Personally we're happy with an introductory message that's a simple introduction. We're not arrogant enough to demand individual, carefully crafted first messages because we believe that its what comes after the opening communication that really counts.

Just be yourself. Good luck

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

no magic formula.

if they like the look of you they will chat.

good luck

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Hey all you lovely lot.

So I've been on off here for a few months and like most men struggling ??. I've tried I few things in my first message and nothing seems to work?

Has anyone got any advice on what to say or ask?

Thank you in advance. X"

Solely from my perspective, most women will look at the profile before deciding to respond or even reading the message.

From my basic opinion, your profile is ...uninspiring. You talk about pictures twice in your bio but then you only have 1 photo that is public. Now I'm not saying to put your face like me but take anonymous photos that show your personality and character and your identity

Like, I like to change my hairstyle, I'm plus size. I like carnival and I like swimming. That you can tell from my pictures.

You also probably need some club/social verifications in person.

Again just my opinion. I could be talking complete claptrap for others but that's how my brain works.

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