FabSwingers.com forum: How to tune out onlookers

By *atnay OP Couple
over a year ago

STEVENAGE

So hubby and I visited VA and Jaydees last summer. We're very slowly stepping into the scene. Both of us are comfortable with being naked in front of others (naturists for years). However, I found it difficult to totaly relax, let go and have fun with an audiance. Not an issue with who was involved in our play, but onlookers.

Please tell me im not the only one who gets embaresed by others watching.

Yes Jaydee's has private rooms, but the fun equipment is in public areas. Same at VA and no private rooms at all.

The cross, fancy lounge chairs and swings etc.. I want to play, but how do I tune out who's watching????

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think you can really. I was very conscious of them especially as they tend to get closer than I'm comfortable with, we tried a private room with a guy watching from outside and I was much happier

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

But have you considered a blindfold?

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By *atnay OP Couple
over a year ago

STEVENAGE

"But have you considered a blindfold?"

I will be taking one with us on our next visit.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"But have you considered a blindfold?

I will be taking one with us on our next visit. "

Take several. Then you can give them to the onlookers.

Tbh it can be annoying when you can't get away from people you have no interest in interacting with when equipment and certain rooms are more appealing but in public areas.

It takes practice but if you zone out and concentrate on those you're being intimate with and mentally shut out all others you don't have to pop on a blindfold yourself and miss out on visual stimulation.

And if anyone gets too close, tries to make conversation or physically touch you then it's I.portant to be able to both see it coming and also give a serious death stare to ward then off.

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By *ittyandtheboyCouple
over a year ago

Behind the bike shed!

Fortunately I tend to use large floggers when doing BDSM with Kitty! So with the backswing I can catch the close standers.

If they’re doing running commentary I just ask them not too. But that comes from being in the kink scene for years I guess.

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By *antricSeeker60Man
over a year ago

Durham

On lookers can become a bit touchy in open play spaces. I was having fun with female friend at club and had to speak quite harshly to one or two on lookers. I’ve no problem with on lookers is when they presume they can just join in without asking first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So hubby and I visited VA and Jaydees last summer. We're very slowly stepping into the scene. Both of us are comfortable with being naked in front of others (naturists for years). However, I found it difficult to totaly relax, let go and have fun with an audiance. Not an issue with who was involved in our play, but onlookers.

Please tell me im not the only one who gets embaresed by others watching.

Yes Jaydee's has private rooms, but the fun equipment is in public areas. Same at VA and no private rooms at all.

The cross, fancy lounge chairs and swings etc.. I want to play, but how do I tune out who's watching????

This is something we'd like to try but would be discouraged for this very reason. Its a shame clubs don't have (happy to be proven wrong though) private lockable rooms where dungeon equipment is located. Space I know can be an issue, so do understand.

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By *randMrsMaybeCouple
over a year ago

hyde

My answer would vary on what It is the onlookers are doing to put you off.

I've been in a kink scene and ppl were next to us and talking about putting shoes in their locker-amongst other day to day things. It really spoiled the mood we had created.

For a more sexual scene .... if you don't like being watched try a blindfold but remember it may heighten your hearing.

It's hard to find a perfect environment.... good luck x

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By *amLaraCroftWoman
over a year ago

London

Please tell me im not the only one who gets embaresed by others watching.

Yes Jaydee's has private rooms, but the fun equipment is in public areas. Same at VA and no private rooms at all.

The cross, fancy lounge chairs and swings etc.. I want to play, but how do I tune out who's watching????

Some people are naturally exhibitionists and others need to warm to it

I needed to warm to it and get familiar with the club and the staff

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to give onlookers the thumbs up, look them dead in the eye and smile, kinda relaxed me and then

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Mrs actually found that she loves an audience, I was a little less so initially.

However now love the fact it turns her on and consequently I.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

However we both draw a line at those who invade personal space uninvited!

Nothing more off putting than someone wanking a foot from our faces

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By *atnay OP Couple
over a year ago

STEVENAGE

"However we both draw a line at those who invade personal space uninvited!

Nothing more off putting than someone wanking a foot from our faces

Yea, thats what I find very off putting. Or when they stand right over you and even when asked to move back they only step slightly away.

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By *torm in a G cupWoman
over a year ago

Land of the Long White Cloud

"But have you considered a blindfold?

I will be taking one with us on our next visit. "

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

"However we both draw a line at those who invade personal space uninvited!

Nothing more off putting than someone wanking a foot from our faces

Yea, thats what I find very off putting. Or when they stand right over you and even when asked to move back they only step slightly away."

Ah ok! So is the it not so much being watched, more the 'spaceinvaders'?

Utterly get that!

Although for me (Mrs) wouldn't like to be blindfolded in a club, that's only with people I trust.. x

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