FabSwingers.com forum: Swinging for couples good or bad for a relationship?

By *ownandcuntry83 OP Couple
over a year ago

Interested to here from other about how swinging has affected their relationships. We have found it to be very positive and I can honestly say I have never loved anyone as much as my Lady. We have been together for 2.5years and got onto Fab about a year ago. It was new to us both but we have found the conversations we have had to have and how open and honest with each other you have to be has been a real positive. It has only added to our relationship and taken nothing away. even the few bad experiences have ended up being positive for us. That being said we have spoken to lots of singles who had ventured into this delicious world as a couple to only end up alone.

So what's everyone's thoughts. xxx

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By *angOnBunnyCouple
over a year ago

Ipswich

It's very positive for us too. We communicate a LOT and swinging opened up to discussing our desires and fantasies. Ended up with a fuckit list of things we want to try out at some point

We're not hardened swingers by any means, but it increased our trust levels too and made us realise what we like and don't like and now have friends who we can also discuss more intimate matters also.

So, we're very happy we made the move to share

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By *imandher123456Couple
over a year ago

gosport

"Interested to here from other about how swinging has affected their relationships. We have found it to be very positive and I can honestly say I have never loved anyone as much as my Lady. We have been together for 2.5years and got onto Fab about a year ago. It was new to us both but we have found the conversations we have had to have and how open and honest with each other you have to be has been a real positive. It has only added to our relationship and taken nothing away. even the few bad experiences have ended up being positive for us. That being said we have spoken to lots of singles who had ventured into this delicious world as a couple to only end up alone.

So what's everyone's thoughts. xxx"

100% this

We met on fab .... Now married and both feel we have a very open and honest level of communication with each other, if you have a great relationship the lifestyle definitely makes it even stronger and better , but I can see that if you had a bad one then it would probably plaster over the cracks but they would only fester underneath until it all falls apart.

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By *ornycouple7884Couple
over a year ago

Exeter

We're talking far more than we ever did both about sex and vanilla subjects. Complete honesty is wonderful and freeing and we both do check in to check we're both still happy with everything. Definitely seems to work for us

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By *inky and QuirkyCouple
over a year ago

Leighton Buzzard

We met on Fabs both out of long term relationships and most definitely not looking for another one.

4 years later we are still totally besotted and very much in love.

This lifestyle allows us to share so much and be so open with one another. We only ever meet together and love sharing new adventures and journeys together.

We are 100% open, very aligned and very happy

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By *ownandcuntry83 OP Couple
over a year ago

Love these view points. It's what we think swinging should be about. Being open and exploring together. We call it our little adventure. xx

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

I think if you already have a good relationship then swinging enhances it but in a not so good relationship it can be damaging...its certainly not something to fix a relationship.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Depends on the couple, why they're swinging and if they're both as keen.

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By *un and Frolics 1Woman
over a year ago

Lincoln

My husband and I played as a couple and our sex life was enhanced by swinging, you must be able to find the difference between making love and just a shag with a stranger

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By *p4fun60Couple
over a year ago

Hampshire

You have to start off with a solid relationship or its doomed - we can have fantastic sex with others, but can only make love to one another....we started in this lifestyle over 30 years ago & I can honestly say that he's not only my husband & lover but my best friend as well, swinging is an extention to our sex life but its not the be all & end all, its just a bit of extra fun

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

Sorry to jump in on your post..but may I ask what it is about swinging that enhances your relationships?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have to have a solid foundation to start with if it's not then it's doomed regardless of swinging, that will just make it end quicker.

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By *arc and KamaCouple
over a year ago

Birmingham

Positive, but at some point you need to find a balance and not make it an everyday lifestyle.

We swing occasionally. In the past once a month, sometimes more. It had grown to the point where we could only have sex in the bigger group and stopped enjoying sex with each other.

We have had a break and soon we will be back

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

"Sorry to jump in on your post..but may I ask what it is about swinging that enhances your relationships? "

It can make your sex drives high. Couples having regular sex with each other generally stay together. However for the swingers that don't actually have sex with each other it often doesn't end well.

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By *ucifer And MazikeenCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

Hi op

We have been together 25 years and married 17 years

And we have been in the lifestyle 2 years next month. For us it has been an amazing experience one that we wish we had discovered years before. It has definitely made us a lot closer more intimate. Our sex life was amazing before but now it’s completely on an other level between the two of us x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It has definitely improved our relationship. We're deeply in love and the lifestyle has helped us communicate better. The openness and trust needed has also enhanced our relationship. We've both learnt that we can let go of jealousy and that is liberating. It's also great fun being a team in the non-vanilla world.

Our sex life was incredible before we got into the lifestyle but since we did it has been like pouring petrol onto a fire. We do it even more, the sex between the two of us is out of this world and we are constantly trying new things.

The experiences with other people are awesome but the reclaim sex afterwards was something we didn't know about or were prepared for. It's just so good. The connection we feel after a meet is electric. It's incredible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We met on fab, I think that always helps us to be open and honest about things we want to try etc. Having met on here I think it’s definitely made us way stronger.

Mrs

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By *lex.and.SexCouple
over a year ago

Bedale

Positive.

Mostly it's not the sex, it's the honesty and the communication. Though it is partly the sex.

The lifestyle requires honesty about the fact that we are still sexual beings, and still want to fuck exactly the same people we wanted to fuck before we met. The lifestyle means we don't have to engage in the fantasy that some do where we pretend our genitals are suddenly biometrically locked to each other once they are introduced.

The need for good communication means you get better at navigating the issues that all couples will have over time. Practice makes perfect.

And the sex itself provides sufficient variety that anything I might want can be provided in the relationship not out of it. In the past, I've been someone who struggled with monogamy and transgressed it many times. The lifestyle not only reduces the need for that, but it also increases the potential loss as very few other women are going to be able to offer the sort of relationship I have as a swinger.

All in all, a virtuous circle.

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By *hyntravCouple
over a year ago

North Somerset

"Sorry to jump in on your post..but may I ask what it is about swinging that enhances your relationships? "

For us it is the honesty and openess that is integral to this lifestyle. Everything we choose to do impacts both of us and we have been cautious every step of the way, maybe overthinking at times but really considering what consequences our actions may have. This has then flowed through every part of our life together. We have been together 10 years and never fought because we are able to be extremely open about our feelings and I do belive swinging has helped with that. If we aren't honest, even when things are tricky then this just doesn't work. We trust each other explicitly.

Plus the reclaim sex is amazing! Like many have said we have always had a fantastic sex life but the reclaim sex is a few notches above anything we had before

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By *iscreetfuncpl12Couple
over a year ago

Somerset

"Sorry to jump in on your post..but may I ask what it is about swinging that enhances your relationships? "
It’s our dirty little secret that only we share. Many couples share interests but few something so intimate and intense as sharing sucking another man’s cock, passing it between us or another woman’s pussy and breasts, interspersed with deep loving kisses. Sharing others with each other works for us and enhances our relationship but only occasionally and as an added extra to what is already incredibly strong and loving.

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By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

Seen it brack far more than it makes slow and steady talk things through do not get lost in it all and the goings on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging complements things we find. Though you have to be open and honest with each other. Just like anything else that is shared in any relationship where honesty is needed (finances, housework, hobbies, spending, etc...)

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By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

See mostly positives comments here which is great but be careful as a massive survivor bias. The ones for whom it has worked are still here and commenting. The couples for whom is has not are probably no longer on Fab and maybe no longer couples. Seen one couple I met with my partner who never seemed comfortable leave Fab today. Also seen plenty of others over the years where swinging is one sided to please one side and there is underlying tension which eventually bubbles over.

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By *lex.and.SexCouple
over a year ago

Bedale

"See mostly positives comments here which is great but be careful as a massive survivor bias. The ones for whom it has worked are still here and commenting. The couples for whom is has not are probably no longer on Fab and maybe no longer couples. Seen one couple I met with my partner who never seemed comfortable leave Fab today. Also seen plenty of others over the years where swinging is one sided to please one side and there is underlying tension which eventually bubbles over. "

That's absolutely a thing here.

In many ways I think swinging is a crucible for a relationship, a stress test validation.

If your relationship survives this lifestyle, it's almost certainly because your relationship fundamentals are absolutely strong and on point. And if it does survive it, then not only will you know these things, but you will have the huge enhancement of increased sexual fulfilment. Not because anyone is necessarily more fulfilling than your partner but because noone can be everyone.

If your relationship fails to this, it might well have failed eventually anyway, and even if not, perhaps it's not the best relationship you could have been in regardless

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By *un couple 2Couple
over a year ago

Tynemouth.

its always been a positive in our relationship, we have a great sex life after 34yrs together, sam is very happy having her boyfriend

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By *ifunKA2022Couple
over a year ago

newcastle

we met in a swingers club and eventually became a couple. We are very much in love and are actually getting married. For us it’s an added extra to our relationship, we are both very open and honest with each other and can talk about anything and everything. We will often be out for a meal or shopping and one of us will point out someone we find attractive. It’s brought us closer as a couple and we are very strong together, we enjoy having fun with others but when we are together is more than sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Started swinging with my now ex-husband in 2014. Started out brilliant. We had a great time and met lots of lovely couples, went to parties and clubs. It was a great time. Then I got ill and wasn’t in the mood for swinging or anything at that time, so we agreed that he could start a single profile. To cut a long story short, once I felt better, I also started a single profile and we never went anywhere together again. But the one rule we did have was no lying. And he lied. So I ended the marriage. We were together 24 years.. So just a cautionary tale. Doesn’t mean to say I wouldn’t do it again as a couple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The survivor bias point about a forum like this is very important- well said.

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By *ickedwillyCouple
over a year ago

Bangor

Never done us any harm but our one rule is no secrets.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Everything is a secret until it is discovered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we first started out in our twenties, it was great. My wife did it for me she said.

She used to be shy as it was an arranged marriage. Since I became a Cuck, she opend up but maily to blokes, white guys at work and out and about but no one we knew.

Then I found out she started to fuck a workmate behind my back - it was devastating and she left me for him but then came back a few weeks later when he did not leave his wife and kids. We stopped seeing other guys and recently getting back into being a Cuck.

As a Cuck, do not see the same bloke more than once, twice most or be there with them as guys sweet talk women, EG every time I left my wife alone with a bloke ie me not at the same place, they always tried to give their number to here and talk about hotel meets

So its great and I wrongly assumed that my wife getting a bigger cock than mine will stop her straying but it did not. At leaset we are stronger now and she is open that if any nude masssage/fingering or fucking, white men only and a lot younger than us

So go for it

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

Depends on the couple and their relationship and if it's an honest equal partnership..

If there's cracks it's a doomed endeavour haa actually it might be the whip needed for one to see the light and leave for better..

If it's a sealed tight relationship it's bliss. Letting someone have an ounce of what you get to enjoy 24 hours.

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By *enelope2UWoman
over a year ago

Fife

"we met in a swingers club and eventually became a couple. We are very much in love and are actually getting married. For us it’s an added extra to our relationship, we are both very open and honest with each other and can talk about anything and everything. We will often be out for a meal or shopping and one of us will point out someone we find attractive. It’s brought us closer as a couple and we are very strong together, we enjoy having fun with others but when we are together is more than sex. "

Congratulations hope you enjoy the rest of your ride together those words are how things should feel. Good luck

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By *ifunKA2022Couple
over a year ago

newcastle

Congratulations hope you enjoy the rest of your ride together those words are how things should feel. Good luck "

thankyou

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By *ikely ladMan
over a year ago

Hounslow

[Removed by poster at 08/05/23 16:33:46]

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By *orfnsarfCouple
over a year ago

Stoke

I think the overriding theme is honesty. And that’s what I love about swinging. It’s a private thing between a couple but it enables you both to share experiences. And to chat to folk about the taboo subject of sex and sexual preferences.

But I agree with so many on here, your sex life has to be amazing to begin with. If you come into the lifestyle expecting an improvement, in effect relying on others, then failure is very likely. But if you see it as an enhancement and you are totally happy with your love and your sex life then fill your boots

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We would say that overall it has been positive for our relationship. We would have been fine without it, but its a bit like goingbto restaurants. We are both excellent cooks, but every now and then we want to try a different style, or a different taste. We find this then adds some spice to our lives when we get home as well

We sort of ring fence swinging life by going to Clubs rather than meeting in peoples homes, etc. Our relationship is about openness, fun, honesty and intimacy. Swinging is about trying new things, fun and sex. The intimacy stays between us

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

It's definitely opened up put communication more which is brilliant.

Mrs

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I think if it's part of your lifestyle and you are both into it, it will not affect anything.

If you are trying it to spice up your marriage then you are asking for trouble

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By *oyahandrussCouple
over a year ago

Nr Rugby

We are married & in the life style 18 years.It always been something we love doing together and living our fantasy's.I think peeps think it's easier for a couple but there are two people who have to feel attracted to another pair and that can be difficult to achieve.For us it has been all positive.

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By *ensual 2Couple
over a year ago

Blackpool

For us it’s made us even tighter as a couple .. it’s very liberating to be open honest with each other about all things sexy ..it’s been a lovely journey together bringing other open minded people into our life to enjoy fab life ..x

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By *ree-dom69Man
over a year ago

park gate

This is a very interesting and informative post

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By *ecretSmile22Couple
over a year ago

Teesside

Definitely a positive. Its brought us even closer together and our private sex life is amazing.

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By *edplusoneCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

Very positive for us, we already had a very loving long term relationship and this has allowed us to experience new things together. Communication has been key.

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By *he couple nextdoorCouple
over a year ago

grangemouth

"Positive, but at some point you need to find a balance and not make it an everyday lifestyle.

We swing occasionally. In the past once a month, sometimes more. It had grown to the point where we could only have sex in the bigger group and stopped enjoying sex with each other.

We have had a break and soon we will be back

"
agree

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford

"I think the overriding theme is honesty. And that’s what I love about swinging. It’s a private thing between a couple but it enables you both to share experiences. And to chat to folk about the taboo subject of sex and sexual preferences.

Honesty is definitely the key for it to fully work. Keeping secrets from each other when supposedly in it together will only lead to failure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what's everyone's thoughts. xxx"

Swung in two relationships with no regrets. Both failed for other reasons.

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By *archelCouple
over a year ago

A field somewhere

"We're talking far more than we ever did both about sex and vanilla subjects. Complete honesty is wonderful and freeing and we both do check in to check we're both still happy with everything. Definitely seems to work for us"

This 100 percent!!

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By *ustus555Couple
over a year ago

NG 21

We are what you might call part time swingers. It's amazing how many forum post you see with the opening line " my ex & I"

It's one of the reasons we don't do this on a regular basis.

If we're both feeling like a club visit then the buzz from it can last us for months. At the end of the day as others have said, you need to be able to separate a kinky fuck from making love to your partner. If you can't, then from what we've noticed its probably not going to end very well. Just an observation.

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By *oleraine-coupleCouple
over a year ago

coleraine

Well for us it’s been very positive for our relationship but we always had a close, loving, strong relationship with plenty of communication and trust. We can imagine without such things it could all go horribly wrong. We were able to discuss the idea of swinging opening away from sex to understand if we wanted to try it and what we wanted to do. We always kept to what we agreed and talked things through after any meeting. It’s added something extra to our relationship and we’ve had some fab meetings but that said it’s not that important in the grand scheme of things. It’s been fun along the way just sorry we often now suffer some time wasters and couples lacking honesty within their own relationship.

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By *j and c 2Couple
over a year ago

mullingar

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire

So what's everyone's thoughts. xxx"

It's good for us yet so difficult meeting genuine folk on here the last year or two !. Our relationship is very strong and we have discussed possible issues and how to deal with them so have few if any worries. We've met some couples though where one of them has become VERY jealous, another split up after meeting us, a few called a halt to the meet when one became 'too happy' and so on

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By *olf and RedCouple
over a year ago

Nr Cardiff or at Chams Darlaston

It works for us. We only meet together, never separately and discuss who we are going to meet. It’s made us really close and we really enjoy the reclamation sex afterwards. The turn on from discussing what happened with others can last for weeks after. It’s all about being open and honest.

Red

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By *enerifehotwifecplCouple
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

Been good for us sexually we are stronger and emotionally too

Obviously in more sober moods one questions the morality of it all - but not enough to stop! Lol

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

We'd say swinging is a very positive thing in our relationship. Because we met on fab we have always been able to be very open with each other and express ourselves. Which is massively important because in a couple is two individuals. And having complete openness and honesty without judgement is vital to understanding where each other is coming from and growing closer to each other. Not that great openness and honesty is exclusive to swinger relationships but it definitely helps set the tone when your start in the lifestyle like us.

Plus we clearly didn't want to give up having a first kiss with others, undressing new people for the first time and filling our boots sexually with individuals and groups. Its hot right? It's so liberating that we can be honest about our desires, indulge in them and best of all share them together. If not I think we would have both felt a little oppressed in a vanilla relationship however much we love each other. It's beautiful to give each other that freedom and its having that freedom that ironically draws us closer together.

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By *ootballFlowerCouple
over a year ago

Ollerton

It only enhanced our relationship but we had a solid base to start with.

Swinging is all about trust and to go in to it without a solid base is just a nightmare waiting to happen.

We have seen numerous couples having a falling out because misunderstandings or jealousy.

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