FabSwingers.com forum: Genuine advice needed

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Today I received a message from a female profile, to my horror was actually my ex boyfriend. All I will say about him is that he's a not a nice person and I haven't spoken to him in over a year. His message was in respect of our son and other matters all of which is being dealt with by the courts. I have reported the profile but is still there. I now have a choice of leaving fab so he can't use the site against me in court or do I just block any profile he pops up on and worry no more about it. Really don't want to leave but I know he will try to use this as I'm a bad mother. Any thoughts?

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By *uriouscouple26Couple
over a year ago

longfield

Maybe change profile name, what you do in your time as long as its not in front of kids and they are not exposed in anyway, is your business and i truly dont believe would influence a court decision. And anyway he now has a profile on here, i think its totally inappropriate for him to contact you about those issues on here! So keep swinging and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pm'd you. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would leave for a while.

Think of how sex is viewed in general with scandals in the media. I don't think a court is going to view this well and is it worth the risk with your son?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He sounds like a piece of work. You are doing nothing wrong. Just be careful as he may try and set you up etc. The court will not really be interested in your private life unless it is detrimental towards the children. You are doing nothing illegal. How did he know you were on the site? Is he a swinger? He obviously lied to create a profile so you can if needs be use that to show that he is pretty devious etc. Hope it all goes well for you. xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He's not a swinger and is currently in a relationship. I can only think he has spotted me under his real profile and set up the fake to contact me or someone else has spotted me on here and told him. However I feel that's unlikely as my face pic wasn't on display. I have full custody of my son and the courts are monitoring him not me in respect of safeguarding. I just worry that he may make out this site is something its not. True about the comment of him being on here though I suppose if its mentioned it would have to be questioned as why he is on here. Wasn't to find me I know as he only spotted me when I set up my new profile.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would leave for a while.

Think of how sex is viewed in general with scandals in the media. I don't think a court is going to view this well and is it worth the risk with your son?"

No matter how 'respectable' people on here seem to think swinging is nowadays, the general public- and the courts- will definitely disagree.

It's not illegal. There's nothing wrong with it.

But if you get a narrow minded judge... it's just not worth the risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure you keep all of the emails he sends you too

Good luck in getting this sorted!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

If you only change your name he will probably still be able to find you as he probably has you hotlisted.

Consider a new profile. If you do and want to be verified then hide your verifications (he has probably noted who has verified you or who you have verified). Also request that any veris you give are not shown.

Being a swinger is not illegal and nor does it put your children at risk. He is trying to bully/shame you. Refuse to let him get away with it.

Contact the police and say you are being internet stalked by your ex and he is trying to force your hand.

Contact social services yourself if you fear he will do so.

As long as you are careful with your own personal safety and ensure the children are never around your meets you are doing nothing wrong.

Be strong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He's not a swinger and is currently in a relationship. I can only think he has spotted me under his real profile and set up the fake to contact me or someone else has spotted me on here and told him. However I feel that's unlikely as my face pic wasn't on display. I have full custody of my son and the courts are monitoring him not me in respect of safeguarding. I just worry that he may make out this site is something its not. True about the comment of him being on here though I suppose if its mentioned it would have to be questioned as why he is on here. Wasn't to find me I know as he only spotted me when I set up my new profile. "

Then if there are safe guarding issues involved, take a copy of all the messages that must clearly pertain to your situation & report hi to the Police. It classifies as harrassment & probably even stalking & the courts take a very dim view of that.

It is irrelevant of whichever medium he uses. I'd take the evidence to the police & he can be given an harrassment notice if you feel unsafe. You may have great reason to feel unsafe?

Harrassment in any way & it is not what he thinks as harrassment, it is what YOU consider as harrassment is any unwanted attention from an individual.

And of course if he is mentioning things to do with the situation between yourselves, that are being dealt with through solicitors & the courts-not good for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately folk do judge. I'd leave. Make a new profile and be discreet with my pics. Good luck x

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By *imal75Man
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I would leave and come back and not give to much away on you profile. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would leave for a while.

Think of how sex is viewed in general with scandals in the media. I don't think a court is going to view this well and is it worth the risk with your son?

No matter how 'respectable' people on here seem to think swinging is nowadays, the general public- and the courts- will definitely disagree.

It's not illegal. There's nothing wrong with it.

But if you get a narrow minded judge... it's just not worth the risk."

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