FabSwingers.com forum: First message

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I rarely send out messages ...mostly I'm happy having a bit of banter in the forum and if a female messages me wanting to meet then I'm happy to see if I can set it up.

However, recently I've sent a couple of what I thought were decent, respectly phrased, messages (without a cock shot) to women, who after reading their profile, I felt were a 'match' so to speak - i.e. I felt I was what they might be looking for and they me - most of them had looked at my profile, fab'd some pics; some had even 'winked' my way.

However, messages I sent were either deleted or read with no reply.

That's fine, im owed nothing and I don't send stupid 'follow up' emails. However, I'd often love to know what the problem was..

Where might I be going wrong? ...perhaps there's something in my profile that's off putting??

Any constructive ideas would be welcome?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fabbing a picture doesn't necessarily mean anything; I do it all the time when I see a nice picture but that is the only reason I do it.

As to winking, I have winked back; we have then chatted for a while but it hasn't gone anywhere.

Personally I don't see anything wrong with your profile, nor from your comments on the forums for that matter, as to them, perhaps they changed their minds? Perhaps its a male using a female/couples profile and chickened out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hey, thanks for taking the time to reply

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I've looked at your profile and it seems along with your photos to be one of the better ones, you come across very well in the forums too. I honestly don't understand why you didn't get the response you wanted and hope you have better luck next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i fab photos alot but doesnt mean anything only iliked the photo

doesnt mean i want them in bed

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

You know I think your fit lol so I've just had another read thru your profile and the only bit I can think that might put people off is the cannot accom with no explanation?? The rest seems fine.

Forward me on one of your messaged if you like and ill see if it would be the sort of thing that would catch my eye, although that being said what catches my eye isn't necessarily what would catch others eyes so that might not help much x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i fab photos alot but doesnt mean anything only iliked the photo

doesnt mean i want them in bed

No of course not, I feel and do the same. If you read the original post you would see that I wasn't even suggesting this.

What i was trying to do was give people an accurate portrayal of what's been happening so they could give me some informed feedback. I doubt I'm the only one in here confused by this...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i fab photos alot but doesnt mean anything only iliked the photo

doesnt mean i want them in bed

No of course not, I feel and do the same. If you read the original post you would see that I wasn't even suggesting this.

What i was trying to do was give people an accurate portrayal of what's been happening so they could give me some informed feedback. I doubt I'm the only one in here confused by this... "

being honest

i like your profile and photos

i think its trial and error x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It is confusing but think.of it this way if you meet a woman in a bar she might have everything you want but there is just no spark or chemistry that indefinable something, maybe that's what happened here. You will get positive responses I have no doubt of that so don't stop trying

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

Maybe the 'love dominating women' isn't what she was comfortable with. Or maybe she just had a 'better offer'. Keep the banter going because maybe she will be intrigued enough to find out about your 'competencies'

- or maybe it'll be your 'turn' one day...

Second paragraph possible should read: "The more I can turn you on...."

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I honestly think its the 'cannot accommodate' If the woman can accommodate then they would have to be very sure of you to let you into their home. Are you suggesting a social meet first? If they can't then are you suggesting alternatives? I will alway be more interested in a guy who is pro-active about meeting me, instead of the ones who just say they want to meet then don't suggest how.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I honestly think its the 'cannot accommodate' If the woman can accommodate then they would have to be very sure of you to let you into their home. Are you suggesting a social meet first? If they can't then are you suggesting alternatives? I will alway be more interested in a guy who is pro-active about meeting me, instead of the ones who just say they want to meet then don't suggest how."

when i was meeting i would never have anyone in my house if i didnt know them for a while or trust thenm.

i once let a lady friend in (plutonic) and i was robbed out of some cash

and thats a plutonic friend

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I always suggest a social meet first otherwise how do we know if there's chemistry or a connection - both I think are very important ...you are right about the cant accom thing though ..it's probably that which concerns most. I do however, suggest alternatives and have a 'plan' in this regard

Thanks for your response

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am usually not interested in senders of unsolicited messages that cannot accommodate without explaining why in their profiles, regardless how good and/or thoughtful their first messages.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Thanks for your response "

The cannot accom thing will also put people off as rightly or wrongly they will assume you are playing away. X

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By *witch mix vanillaCouple
over a year ago

Bolton

"I am usually not interested in senders of unsolicited messages that cannot accommodate without explaining why in their profiles, regardless how good and/or thoughtful their first messages.

I the fem are the same...first thing I do is look at profile, if they cannot accom and no reason on profile, will not respond to the message.

I always think it means a man is hiding something.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile is one of the better ones, your pictures are great-varied and give a good portrayal of you, from what I see of your posts here, you seem articulate and intelligent...

Maybe-they just didn't fancy you and didn't know how to say it? It can be hard to say...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great photo's, even without a clear face pic it's obvious you are a good looking chap.

You can't acomodate and don't say why.

And you seem to be edging you bets on your profile by covering all bases. You prefer regular play mates but are happy to have one offs, you are dominant but can be sensual, while both can be the case, it always reads a little desperate to me to state a preference and then quantify it with liking the opposite.

Most men don;t get many messages, expecting people to message you and ask about you to me suggests you need to re-adjust your expectation and tell people about you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/13 16:30:18]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Your profile is one of the better ones, your pictures are great-varied and give a good portrayal of you, from what I see of your posts here, you seem articulate and intelligent...

Maybe-they just didn't fancy you and didn't know how to say it? It can be hard to say..."

Definitely. And I'm sure that's the case many times over ... Not a problem at all; but why wink or message then? It's an oddity to be sure and one that probably won't be solved by a forum post; still it makes for interesting discussion

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Gimme your 6 pack!!!!

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"Gimme your 6 pack!!!!

Noooo!! Mine! X

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Gimme your 6 pack!!!!

Noooo!! Mine! X"

Oh ok....you had your hands on him first. I'll develop my own....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Gimme your 6 pack!!!!

Noooo!! Mine! X

Oh ok....you had your hands on him first. I'll develop my own....

Lots of low-intensity exercise I'm afraid mate ...very boring to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Great photo's, even without a clear face pic it's obvious you are a good looking chap.

You can't acomodate and don't say why.

Most men don;t get many messages, expecting people to message you and ask about you to me suggests you need to re-adjust your expectation and tell people about you."

Yes you could be right - I'm not desperate though - far from it (I don't say I prefer one or the other I merely suggest I'm 'happy' with either but perhaps this comes across as desperate. frankly, though, it's merely the truth about what I want from this site. That's after all is why we're here, I think?

The questions I suggest people ask are merely a 'user-friendly' message typology, formulated to help those who perhaps come across my profile and think: 'hmm I'd like to message this guy but I'm not sure what to say' ..perhaps this is the wrong approach, like you say?

To be honest, however, I'm not really here to bombard females with loads of messages and I haven't - I'm happy in the forums ...I just wondered what was going on at the other end, so to speak.

Thanks though for your reply

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"Gimme your 6 pack!!!!

Noooo!! Mine! X

Oh ok....you had your hands on him first. I'll develop my own....

Lots of low-intensity exercise I'm afraid mate ...very boring to be honest. "

Pm me: what exercises?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

don't bother op only send a message if you have time and never expect anything . 99.9% of the time you will be ignored and if you get a reply you never know if they are genuine. Assume nothing untill you meet

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