FabSwingers.com forum: I refuse

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be called rude for not responding to a message , when our profile very politely and clearly explains this

They are not entitled

Rant over

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By *wendolineFoxWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Not just your profile; the site rules say exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say the vast majority of messages I've sent have been ignored, even sometimes the ones I really think are going to land well. It's not rude it's to be expected given the nature of the site, I try and let it be like water off a ducks back.

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By *ames250122Man
over a year ago

Worcester

"To be called rude for not responding to a message , when our profile very politely and clearly explains this

They are not entitled

Rant over "

Well said

, completely agree! As great as it is to get a reply, no one should expect anything from anyone! No one owes anyone anything and people should respect that no reply means not interested. It’s apples and oranges at the end of the day, we all like different things and rather than been a tool about those that aren’t interested in them, they should focus on moving on a finding people that do want to meet them. What do they think having a go at people not interested in them is going to achieve? xxx

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By *londebiguyMan
over a year ago

Southport

It's quite normal on this site.

Though really, in any other walk of life it would be rude to not acknowledge someone.

There are many quite rude people .

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"It's quite normal on this site.

Though really, in any other walk of life it would be rude to not acknowledge someone.

There are many quite rude people .

I dont acknowledge people who send me spam emails...thats not rude, that's a sensible thing to do.

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By *urve_your_enthusiasmWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

"It's quite normal on this site.

Though really, in any other walk of life it would be rude to not acknowledge someone.

There are many quite rude people .

I dont acknowledge people who send me spam emails...thats not rude, that's a sensible thing to do."

Well said!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are not Fab customer service OP. Why should you answer anyone you don't want to.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

"It's quite normal on this site.

Though really, in any other walk of life it would be rude to not acknowledge someone.

There are many quite rude people .

Can't say I agree with this. There's plenty of parts of life that unwanted contacted happens and its perfect acceptable to ignore it. EG; Spam phone calls, junk mail through the door and email. People knocking on your door to sell you something or stopping you in the street to donate to charity once a month. Do you stop and explain your reasoning to these people every single time?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's quite normal on this site.

Though really, in any other walk of life it would be rude to not acknowledge someone.

There are many quite rude people .

It would not be rude in real life to not acknowledge unwanted attention...

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By *ittycenMan
over a year ago

south west

I view getting a reply as much a success as getting a meet!

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By *eatherandstrapCouple
over a year ago

Near Keswick

When we had our profile open to messages from single men, the workload of replying to messages was quite major. So we blocked men making direct contact and now if we need men we approach them.

Before we did that we noticed many long cut and paste messages but with no personalisation. Such fishing or spam mailings did not usually get a reply.

It is not rude to not reply it is just good time management lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally, I reply to all, with the occasional exception.

As this subject pops up frequently, I've had a think about it.

In most messages, it's clear our profile has been ignored, and they're messaging simply on their interest in our pictures with no consideration for what we express in our profile.

We've even taken to uploading a picture with a caption to suggest reading before messaging, as a result.

From my perspective, when someone has put effort into their profile, with pictures, a descriptive bio, an age range and tick list of interests.

To ignore all of that effort, then message anyway, and often with a question they can find the answer upon our profile, the problem isn't if we don't reply, but the ignorance and disrespect shown by the one contacting.

We are descriptive in our profile, for two reasons, for others to consider whether we are for them, and if they may be what we are looking for.

On top of that, way too often, the one contacting us have a blank or near blank profile, and ignore our choices.

In this case, we owe them nothing.

Think of a profile as a job advertisement, just for the sake of this explanation.

It's advised when applying for a job, to read what they are looking for and to highlight where you fit in.

If applying for a job, and you send an application saying .... Hey, want to employ me.

Guess what, you'll not get the job and likely receive No reply.

I'm aware not all behave this way, though it's a high percentage.

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By *he James gangCouple
over a year ago

NEWTOWNABBEY

I try and respond to all messages even the ones were we have no interest. Unfortunately, some see this as an invitation to send more banal messages. It usually leads to blocking in any event, as we can't be arsed with multiple messages, when you've been given no encouragement!

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"It's quite normal on this site.

Though really, in any other walk of life it would be rude to not acknowledge someone.

There are many quite rude people .

I'm going to assume then that every form of contact to yourself you respond to regardless of who it's from or how? Or is it that you don't respond to these and only find it rude when people Dont respond to you when you want it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d always say if not for you just delete the message. There is no hard feelings it just makes it really clear for all.

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By *erriman69Couple
over a year ago

highworth

Totally agree. We've had 2 men message us in a very passive aggressive manner this week.

We tend to view profiles before responding to anyone and if not impressed will just delete. Both guys took this as encouragement and messaged again including the line "a polite message would be appreciated if you're not interested".

I think my "delete" should be all the polite message they need. Why is it our job to send messages to people we've already decided we don't want to engage with.

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By *edi123Couple
over a year ago

aberystwyth

"To be called rude for not responding to a message , when our profile very politely and clearly explains this

They are not entitled

Rant over "

Block and move on! Plenty more fish in the sea xx

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