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"been read" but no reply...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

leave it, they may be considering you

good luck

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By *ilmisseCouple
over a year ago

leicestershire

Just take no reply as not interested, best thing to do

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Definitely don't message again!!

It might mean they will message you back when they get time, it might mean they haven't bothered deleting it yet, either way sending another message is a sure fire way to come across pushy or something. Don't focus on your outbox, just focus on your inbox. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many threads on this....could mean not interested, inundated with other emails and still thinking, wants second opinion from partner ?

Wouldn't mail again....comes across as impatient.

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

Despite settin an age limit I get so many messages from guys way below and above. I might open the messages and don't bother replyin. When I delete I do it all in 1 swoop. Have now started to use the block button. The 1st 5 messages I got last thurs I blocked. So always make sure u have read profiles before messaging. Other than that good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we always wait until both partners have read a mail from a new guy before we either ignore, block or reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if she's popular and recieves loads of messages or not. And also if she's busy she may not have had time to reply yet?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just take no reply as not interested, best thing to do"

But surely it takes 2secs to be polite and say no thanks !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

as others have said if its a couple they will probably wait until both have read it otherwise it coudl just be that they haven't had time to answer and this applies equally to couples and singles.

It really is just how things go on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

let's face it - single blokes have very limited chances in this environment.... sometimes you strike lucky - best advice is not to ponder too long......

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Just take no reply as not interested, best thing to do

But surely it takes 2secs to be polite and say no thanks ! "

she/they might not want to say no thanks, they might be considering options

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sent a message to someone recently. Noticed it had been read but no reply so waited until the next day and sent another. Got a instant reply that said ooops sorry I was busy.. Good to be "pushy" sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally if we keep it - we're considering you. But if we recieved another message , we would delete both.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Just take no reply as not interested, best thing to do

But surely it takes 2secs to be polite and say no thanks ! "

If you recieved a lot of messages every day you it wouldn't just be 2 seconds tho would it. Plus a lot of people on here don't accept a no thanks and move on, they message back 'why not' or try to persuade otherwise. It gets very annoying. The FAB guidelines say that it is perfectly acceptable to not reply to messages for any reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What the hot stuff said ^^

;)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally if we keep it - we're considering you. But if we recieved another message , we would delete both. "

+1.

Asides from the 'we're' as it's only me.

I wont make a decision when I am tired, or have other things going on behind me.

Also of late, Ive been attending to my inbox on mass; so when I have half an hour free I will sit and do replies. If I dont get half an hour free (without little eyes watching me) I will leave it.

I will also sometimes open them, so the annoying number top left goes down; but it then goes on my to do list.

Im not a couple, but my expectation is.

Couples usually discuss things privately, so I would think with shifts/life/other things going on; that read but no replied means its either pending a decision or is pending discussion...

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Sounds like its upto you and how you wanna play it mate. Show you dont give up to easy and your a trier or sit back and be patient.... We're all different and respond to things in different ways. What have you got to lose block reply or delete.... I think youll find some ppl on here just like ppl to inflate their over inflated ego.... But there are a few genuine polite ppl about. Non illigitimous carbourundum is my tip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's the thing - I have always said I would hate doing this as a single guy !

As a couple it's so easy to get meets and have fun , and having only ever done this as a couple ( and being realistic it's the wife that appeals more than me ) I fully understand how hard it must be for so many single guys on here .

With the ops original question in mind - as a couple we save some messages as we may wanna both see a message together , so it will show as message read but no reply as we may not have both seen it .

If we advertise a meet we can get up to 50 messages in two hours so not all are replied to or we would have no time for the meet !!!!

If a message is read and no reply after a couple of days you could msg and say I sent a msg a couple of days ago , would I be correct in assuming you are not interested ? Then there us the option to say in a simple one word response yes or no .

I really think it's about timing - as a single guy looking to meet it's best to see who is looking and be able to facilitate the criteria - accommodate or travel and be ready and willing to suit the meet. Random messages when the couple or girl are not looking often get ignored .

Hope this helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just take no reply as not interested, best thing to do

But surely it takes 2secs to be polite and say no thanks !

If you recieved a lot of messages every day you it wouldn't just be 2 seconds tho would it. Plus a lot of people on here don't accept a no thanks and move on, they message back 'why not' or try to persuade otherwise. It gets very annoying. The FAB guidelines say that it is perfectly acceptable to not reply to messages for any reasons "

Point taken

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent


"Sounds like its upto you and how you wanna play it mate. Show you dont give up to easy and your a trier or sit back and be patient.... We're all different and respond to things in different ways. What have you got to lose block reply or delete.... I think youll find some ppl on here just like ppl to inflate their over inflated ego.... But there are a few genuine polite ppl about. Non illigitimous carbourundum is my tip "

Or don't let the bastards grind you down for those that don't speak Latin and can't be fooked to look it up like I just did lol x

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

Glad someones paying attention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think..."

Forget them and move on...why should you or any other single guy sit waiting in the wings. Regardless of the various reasons offered for no reply after a week don't fall in line waiting to be considered/discussed/put in the 'maybe later' folder..... your here for YOUR fun/pleasure not as a commodity to be taken up on the whim of others....be positive, YOUR the one with something to give, just another slant on it no offence meant towards any other opinions

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By *uncpl2015Couple
over a year ago

Bridgend Area


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think..."

we deleted messages every so often not immediately.. and if we are interested or going to reply we generally would within 24 hours.. if we havent it does not mean we are considering anything just not deleted yet. it helps to keep for a bit incase we get a further email.

Oh and if we have not sent a reply and get a second or third message you would be told no thanks no matter what and blocked as you would cime across as pushy.

Best advise is if you get a reply go with it if you dont leave ut assume they ate not interested whether deleted or not.. You may get a message much later but if you assume they are not interested in you and just work with ones that do you wont piss anyone off..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Definitely don't message again!!

It might mean they will message you back when they get time, it might mean they haven't bothered deleting it yet, either way sending another message is a sure fire way to come across pushy or something. Don't focus on your outbox, just focus on your inbox. X "

This!!

I often wonder if there's rooms full of people across the country, sat on sofa clicking refresh or flicking back and forth between 'most fabbed pics' and their sent box, rather than doing something a little more positive!

Like browsing profiles, chatting in chat rooms, posting on the forums or hey - the ironing!

Anything but stressing and worrying about what the outcome of a sent message may be, that's let's face it, is largely out of your control!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone must have been reading this been read and no reply post so block them

Its just happened to me! Fifteen mins of reading a message and I hadn't replied so go another message back saying I'm a ignorant **** and he's blocked me ! Using a mobile phone only is so much fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave it to them... If they werent interested they'd delete , theyre keeping you for future reference !

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By *arnaclebillMan
over a year ago

Robin Hood County


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think..."

Join the club mate. Forget them and move on. Happens to me all the time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not read/no reply = not interested = time to forget and move on, IMHO.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think..."

I wish that been read/deleted would be taken off.... that way it would give people one less thing to moan on about....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read but no reply can mean a number of things but just leave alone and move on if they message back great if not don't worry x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think...

I wish that been read/deleted would be taken off.... that way it would give people one less thing to moan on about...."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think...

I wish that been read/deleted would be taken off.... that way it would give people one less thing to moan on about...."

Spot on Fabio. That's why I keep telling single guys especially to delete messages as soon as they have sent them. Stops them getting all despondent about how the recipient deals with them. One day they might just get it that all that matters is whether you get a response...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think...

I wish that been read/deleted would be taken off.... that way it would give people one less thing to moan on about...."

I was hardly 'moaning on', as I said just curious to see what others in the same situation (on both sides) thought...

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By *istress ValeporcaCouple
over a year ago

South Yorkshire

It probably means you don't fit what they're looking for/ they don't fancy you/aren't meeting/habe enough meets for now...I could go on, and they read it but haven't got around to deleting it, they are quite possibly like me and wait until I have a page of unreads and mass delete. You're quite possibly reading far too much into it. A few weeks ago I had one of my subs tally up how many messages I got in 24 hours, this is a summary...219 messages, 76 were from friends I chat to often on here,82 were from single men, single ladies and couples who didn't fit what I was looking for, had they read my profile it would have been a waste of time, 17 were from people who had read my profile bu 'god loves a trier/ they thought I might make an excepton for them etc, etc' the remaining 44, 8 were thanks for your reply, 36 were 'but why not, I'm only a foot too short, 20 yrs too old, ete, etc. That is a summary of why people may well read and not delete or not reply

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

thanks for the reply, I responded to your PM too - just to be clear to anyone else reading this thread, can I say I'm not complaining at all, I fully accept there's no obligation on anyone to respond to messages from me or anyone else. I just raised the matter as a topic for light-hearted conversation! Still, thanks all for your replies xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Someone must have been reading this been read and no reply post so block them

Its just happened to me! Fifteen mins of reading a message and I hadn't replied so go another message back saying I'm a ignorant **** and he's blocked me ! Using a mobile phone only is so much fun "

I got one like that last week, if I read the message on my phone, if I think it's worth answering I wait till I get home, obviously he did`t want to wait.

Sometimes I get so many messages and because I`m busy they build up, then the whole task of answering them seems too daunting, so I end up bulk deleting and starting again, naughty I know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/01/13 22:34:28]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think...

Forget them and move on...why should you or any other single guy sit waiting in the wings. Regardless of the various reasons offered for no reply after a week don't fall in line waiting to be considered/discussed/put in the 'maybe later' folder..... your here for YOUR fun/pleasure not as a commodity to be taken up on the whim of others....be positive, YOUR the one with something to give, just another slant on it no offence meant towards any other opinions "

Plenty more fish in the sea

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"ok so I message a lady or couple on here, then later I check my sent items - the message shows as 'been read' but they haven't replied. Several days later I check again, and it's the same. They haven't deleted the message, but they haven't replied either. What does this mean - anything? and, if you were me, would you message again or leave the ball in their court? No biggie, just curious to see what people think...

Forget them and move on...why should you or any other single guy sit waiting in the wings. Regardless of the various reasons offered for no reply after a week don't fall in line waiting to be considered/discussed/put in the 'maybe later' folder..... your here for YOUR fun/pleasure not as a commodity to be taken up on the whim of others....be positive, YOUR the one with something to give, just another slant on it no offence meant towards any other opinions "

What Orra said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just take no reply as not interested, best thing to do

But surely it takes 2secs to be polite and say no thanks ! "

and if said person has 100 messages to go through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just makes me laugh that there are so many women on this site that complain about fakes & no shows that when a genuine guy comes along they ignore them !!! That's not a dig realy at the women more at the time wasters in general !!!!!

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