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"We are a straight/straight couple" If only you were nearer! | |||
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"Having been in the lifestyle for nine months now, we're surprised by the percentage of women in couples that are bi. Are there any other couples with straight females? We find them very hard to find! " Just because someone is bi, doesn't mean that they have to play with both sexes. I am a straight bloke and we have played with many couples where the bloke is bi, but boundaries are discussed and agreed... Cal | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway?" Other people's sexuality doesn't bother us one bit. We've been told in the past that we will get few offers from couples as most women in the lifestyle are bi. We went to an big event recently and there were nearly 200 people there. I think out of all the women, only one other was completely straight. We've been turned down on numerous occasions when it's clear that J is straight. Having been in the scene for about nine months, it's been a steep learning curve and I didn't expect so much play to be focused on female bi-play. It's totally fine and you can't be in this scene unless you have an open mind about what other people's preferences are. | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? Other people's sexuality doesn't bother us one bit. We've been told in the past that we will get few offers from couples as most women in the lifestyle are bi. We went to an big event recently and there were nearly 200 people there. I think out of all the women, only one other was completely straight. We've been turned down on numerous occasions when it's clear that J is straight. Having been in the scene for about nine months, it's been a steep learning curve and I didn't expect so much play to be focused on female bi-play. It's totally fine and you can't be in this scene unless you have an open mind about what other people's preferences are." There are other ways to connect with people than just Fabswingers though - and you might have better luck at parties that are organised outside of this site. Fabswingers isn't 'the scene' as a whole, it's just one small part of it. It sounds to me as though you feel the need to find 'your tribe' and so far aren't making that happen through here? As I say, there are many other avenues to great sex parties, clubs and get togethers with people who actually suit your requirements, so perhaps broadening your horizons would be helpful. | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? Other people's sexuality doesn't bother us one bit. We've been told in the past that we will get few offers from couples as most women in the lifestyle are bi. We went to an big event recently and there were nearly 200 people there. I think out of all the women, only one other was completely straight. We've been turned down on numerous occasions when it's clear that J is straight. Having been in the scene for about nine months, it's been a steep learning curve and I didn't expect so much play to be focused on female bi-play. It's totally fine and you can't be in this scene unless you have an open mind about what other people's preferences are. There are other ways to connect with people than just Fabswingers though - and you might have better luck at parties that are organised outside of this site. Fabswingers isn't 'the scene' as a whole, it's just one small part of it. It sounds to me as though you feel the need to find 'your tribe' and so far aren't making that happen through here? As I say, there are many other avenues to great sex parties, clubs and get togethers with people who actually suit your requirements, so perhaps broadening your horizons would be helpful." We've been to a few clubs and attend socials regularly. We've met lots of nice people and have built a good network of friends. The big event we went to recently was great fun and we have kept in contact with two couples and will meet up with them at the next event in July. Fab is not a place where we expect to meet many couples we can play with. | |||
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"There are other ways to connect with people than just Fabswingers though - and you might have better luck at parties that are organised outside of this site. Fabswingers isn't 'the scene' as a whole, it's just one small part of it. It sounds to me as though you feel the need to find 'your tribe' and so far aren't making that happen through here? As I say, there are many other avenues to great sex parties, clubs and get togethers with people who actually suit your requirements, so perhaps broadening your horizons would be helpful. We've been to a few clubs and attend socials regularly. We've met lots of nice people and have built a good network of friends. The big event we went to recently was great fun and we have kept in contact with two couples and will meet up with them at the next event in July. Fab is not a place where we expect to meet many couples we can play with. " You guys are in London? There are so many parties and events going on in town. You're spoilt for choice - you just have to seek out the ones that suit you, the ones that perhaps involve a bit more consent around bi play and bi people. Clubs are pretty much a free for all, so I would suggest you try some private parties where this stuff is more considered and talked about. Clubs are a bit like going to a pubic swimming pool in many respects. | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway?" In our case other people's sexuality doesn't bother us in the least. However I have had some interesting experiences with couples where the bi woman has insisted that she will play straight only to try and convince me to just 'give it a go' when we meet. Therefore we now only meet with couples where the woman is straight so there's no possibility of misunderstanding | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? In our case other people's sexuality doesn't bother us in the least. However I have had some interesting experiences with couples where the bi woman has insisted that she will play straight only to try and convince me to just 'give it a go' when we meet. Therefore we now only meet with couples where the woman is straight so there's no possibility of misunderstanding " That's not cool at all - coercion of the highest order, and something that is a massive red flag. I was playing with a couple once and they were both on the floor while she sucked my cock - at some point they swapped places and for a few seconds I didn't notice until I looked down at he had it in his mouth. My first reaction was to slap him round the side of the head - happily he didn't bite it off! | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? Other people's sexuality doesn't bother us one bit. We've been told in the past that we will get few offers from couples as most women in the lifestyle are bi. We went to an big event recently and there were nearly 200 people there. I think out of all the women, only one other was completely straight. We've been turned down on numerous occasions when it's clear that J is straight. Having been in the scene for about nine months, it's been a steep learning curve and I didn't expect so much play to be focused on female bi-play. It's totally fine and you can't be in this scene unless you have an open mind about what other people's preferences are." Guessing it wasn’t a 50/50 event and you checked sexuality of 100 ladies? That would be impressive Must say experience I’ve had as couple has not been like that. Focus has been on m/f play with bi female side sometimes being a tasty desert rather than the main course and know many straight f couples who have a blast at clubs and parties and privately. Perhaps you’ve been unlucky with events and need to try some others. | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? In our case other people's sexuality doesn't bother us in the least. However I have had some interesting experiences with couples where the bi woman has insisted that she will play straight only to try and convince me to just 'give it a go' when we meet. Therefore we now only meet with couples where the woman is straight so there's no possibility of misunderstanding That's not cool at all - coercion of the highest order, and something that is a massive red flag. I was playing with a couple once and they were both on the floor while she sucked my cock - at some point they swapped places and for a few seconds I didn't notice until I looked down at he had it in his mouth. My first reaction was to slap him round the side of the head - happily he didn't bite it off!" I wouldn't class it as coercion more trying their luck and buying into that tired old cliché of 'spaghetti, straight until wet'. Don't worry no straight women were converted in the making of this post | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? In our case other people's sexuality doesn't bother us in the least. However I have had some interesting experiences with couples where the bi woman has insisted that she will play straight only to try and convince me to just 'give it a go' when we meet. Therefore we now only meet with couples where the woman is straight so there's no possibility of misunderstanding That's not cool at all - coercion of the highest order, and something that is a massive red flag. I was playing with a couple once and they were both on the floor while she sucked my cock - at some point they swapped places and for a few seconds I didn't notice until I looked down at he had it in his mouth. My first reaction was to slap him round the side of the head - happily he didn't bite it off! I wouldn't class it as coercion more trying their luck and buying into that tired old cliché of 'spaghetti, straight until wet'. Don't worry no straight women were converted in the making of this post " It's still big time red flag behaviour to me - no means no (unless you're in a CNC situation) and if someone oversteps the mark, then they're a gonna | |||
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"It basically all comes down to consent, boundaries and communication. I don't see why sexuality even comes into it. Just agree beforehand what the ground rules are - like we all do before we meet anyone anyway, right? If someone oversteps the mark, that's an issue to take up with the individual, but to count out all bi people because you're straight, seems like a broad brushstroke to my mind." It is a broad brush stroke but there's not really time or the ability to apply much finesse to meets and also people lie. We've applied many broad brush strokes in terms of location, age etc it works for us | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? Other people's sexuality doesn't bother us one bit. We've been told in the past that we will get few offers from couples as most women in the lifestyle are bi. We went to an big event recently and there were nearly 200 people there. I think out of all the women, only one other was completely straight. We've been turned down on numerous occasions when it's clear that J is straight. Having been in the scene for about nine months, it's been a steep learning curve and I didn't expect so much play to be focused on female bi-play. It's totally fine and you can't be in this scene unless you have an open mind about what other people's preferences are. Guessing it wasn’t a 50/50 event and you checked sexuality of 100 ladies? That would be impressive Must say experience I’ve had as couple has not been like that. Focus has been on m/f play with bi female side sometimes being a tasty desert rather than the main course and know many straight f couples who have a blast at clubs and parties and privately. Perhaps you’ve been unlucky with events and need to try some others. " There was a Discord chat for several months before the event where everyone introduced themselves, so yes, I did check them all out. | |||
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"It basically all comes down to consent, boundaries and communication. I don't see why sexuality even comes into it. Just agree beforehand what the ground rules are - like we all do before we meet anyone anyway, right? If someone oversteps the mark, that's an issue to take up with the individual, but to count out all bi people because you're straight, seems like a broad brushstroke to my mind. It is a broad brush stroke but there's not really time or the ability to apply much finesse to meets and also people lie. We've applied many broad brush strokes in terms of location, age etc it works for us" I don't agree that applying consent & boundaries to the people we meet, is a case of 'finesse' or not having the time. It should be one of the primary considerations when meeting anyone. Why would anyone lie about being straight and then try to coerce you into playing with them? We clearly go to very different parties! | |||
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"It basically all comes down to consent, boundaries and communication. I don't see why sexuality even comes into it. Just agree beforehand what the ground rules are - like we all do before we meet anyone anyway, right? If someone oversteps the mark, that's an issue to take up with the individual, but to count out all bi people because you're straight, seems like a broad brushstroke to my mind. It is a broad brush stroke but there's not really time or the ability to apply much finesse to meets and also people lie. We've applied many broad brush strokes in terms of location, age etc it works for us I don't agree that applying consent & boundaries to the people we meet, is a case of 'finesse' or not having the time. It should be one of the primary considerations when meeting anyone. Why would anyone lie about being straight and then try to coerce you into playing with them? We clearly go to very different parties!" People lie about playing straight. We no longer go to parties | |||
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"People lie about playing straight. We no longer go to parties" How does that work though? You've told them you're straight so you're not going to suddenly change your mind just because they're naked near you. It doesn't make sense. It's a bit like being homophobic and worrying that gay men are going to try to have sex with you (I'm not suggesting you're homophobic by the way) all the time. What I meant was, we clearly move in different circles when it comes to consent, safety & boundaries. | |||
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"People lie about playing straight. We no longer go to parties How does that work though? You've told them you're straight so you're not going to suddenly change your mind just because they're naked near you. It doesn't make sense. It's a bit like being homophobic and worrying that gay men are going to try to have sex with you (I'm not suggesting you're homophobic by the way) all the time. What I meant was, we clearly move in different circles when it comes to consent, safety & boundaries." All I will say is that several experiences have informed our decision. | |||
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"People lie about playing straight. We no longer go to parties How does that work though? You've told them you're straight so you're not going to suddenly change your mind just because they're naked near you. It doesn't make sense. It's a bit like being homophobic and worrying that gay men are going to try to have sex with you (I'm not suggesting you're homophobic by the way) all the time. What I meant was, we clearly move in different circles when it comes to consent, safety & boundaries. All I will say is that several experiences have informed our decision. " Each to their own - I just find it odd that someone would feel that consent & boundaries aren't important. | |||
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"People lie about playing straight. We no longer go to parties How does that work though? You've told them you're straight so you're not going to suddenly change your mind just because they're naked near you. It doesn't make sense. It's a bit like being homophobic and worrying that gay men are going to try to have sex with you (I'm not suggesting you're homophobic by the way) all the time. What I meant was, we clearly move in different circles when it comes to consent, safety & boundaries. All I will say is that several experiences have informed our decision. Each to their own - I just find it odd that someone would feel that consent & boundaries aren't important. " We do. | |||
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"People lie about playing straight. We no longer go to parties How does that work though? You've told them you're straight so you're not going to suddenly change your mind just because they're naked near you. It doesn't make sense. It's a bit like being homophobic and worrying that gay men are going to try to have sex with you (I'm not suggesting you're homophobic by the way) all the time. What I meant was, we clearly move in different circles when it comes to consent, safety & boundaries. All I will say is that several experiences have informed our decision. Each to their own - I just find it odd that someone would feel that consent & boundaries aren't important. We do. " Yet a few posts ago you stated that it took much finesse and time. OK then. | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? Other people's sexuality doesn't bother us one bit. We've been told in the past that we will get few offers from couples as most women in the lifestyle are bi. We went to an big event recently and there were nearly 200 people there. I think out of all the women, only one other was completely straight. We've been turned down on numerous occasions when it's clear that J is straight. Having been in the scene for about nine months, it's been a steep learning curve and I didn't expect so much play to be focused on female bi-play. It's totally fine and you can't be in this scene unless you have an open mind about what other people's preferences are. Guessing it wasn’t a 50/50 event and you checked sexuality of 100 ladies? That would be impressive Must say experience I’ve had as couple has not been like that. Focus has been on m/f play with bi female side sometimes being a tasty desert rather than the main course and know many straight f couples who have a blast at clubs and parties and privately. Perhaps you’ve been unlucky with events and need to try some others. There was a Discord chat for several months before the event where everyone introduced themselves, so yes, I did check them all out. " Ah ok that make sense for that event. However, that is far from common to even have that kind of chat (post covid especially) and reinforces my view that worth trying other parties, clubs and events. Think you will be able to find different experiences more in tune with you. | |||
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"People lie about playing straight. We no longer go to parties How does that work though? You've told them you're straight so you're not going to suddenly change your mind just because they're naked near you. It doesn't make sense. It's a bit like being homophobic and worrying that gay men are going to try to have sex with you (I'm not suggesting you're homophobic by the way) all the time. What I meant was, we clearly move in different circles when it comes to consent, safety & boundaries. All I will say is that several experiences have informed our decision. Each to their own - I just find it odd that someone would feel that consent & boundaries aren't important. We do. Yet a few posts ago you stated that it took much finesse and time. OK then." I think you've misunderstood me. We explain our boundaries. Our experience has been that some people attempt to cross them. People lie. Hence we don't want to waste our time or theirs and apply the sledgehammer to crack a walnut approach. Making finesse irrelevant | |||
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"People lie about playing straight. We no longer go to parties How does that work though? You've told them you're straight so you're not going to suddenly change your mind just because they're naked near you. It doesn't make sense. It's a bit like being homophobic and worrying that gay men are going to try to have sex with you (I'm not suggesting you're homophobic by the way) all the time. What I meant was, we clearly move in different circles when it comes to consent, safety & boundaries. All I will say is that several experiences have informed our decision. Each to their own - I just find it odd that someone would feel that consent & boundaries aren't important. We do. Yet a few posts ago you stated that it took much finesse and time. OK then. I think you've misunderstood me. We explain our boundaries. Our experience has been that some people attempt to cross them. People lie. Hence we don't want to waste our time or theirs and apply the sledgehammer to crack a walnut approach. Making finesse irrelevant " People on here lie, I concur. Outside of Fab there's a very different culture - one that's a lot less toxic, more honest and consent led. Have a nice day. | |||
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"Having been in the lifestyle for nine months now, we're surprised by the percentage of women in couples that are bi. Are there any other couples with straight females? We find them very hard to find! " We're both straight | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? In our case other people's sexuality doesn't bother us in the least. However I have had some interesting experiences with couples where the bi woman has insisted that she will play straight only to try and convince me to just 'give it a go' when we meet. Therefore we now only meet with couples where the woman is straight so there's no possibility of misunderstanding " Wow that's gross. Sorry you experienced that. | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? In our case other people's sexuality doesn't bother us in the least. However I have had some interesting experiences with couples where the bi woman has insisted that she will play straight only to try and convince me to just 'give it a go' when we meet. Therefore we now only meet with couples where the woman is straight so there's no possibility of misunderstanding Wow that's gross. Sorry you experienced that. " it's fine. We understand that this doesn't apply to all or even a majority of bi women, we just find it easier to exclude them. | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? Other people's sexuality doesn't bother us one bit. We've been told in the past that we will get few offers from couples as most women in the lifestyle are bi. We went to an big event recently and there were nearly 200 people there. I think out of all the women, only one other was completely straight. We've been turned down on numerous occasions when it's clear that J is straight. Having been in the scene for about nine months, it's been a steep learning curve and I didn't expect so much play to be focused on female bi-play. It's totally fine and you can't be in this scene unless you have an open mind about what other people's preferences are." As a straight female I would agree with this, after 10 years, I played with 1 couple. Generally they just walk away when they find out I'm straight...ish | |||
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"Having been in the lifestyle for nine months now, we're surprised by the percentage of women in couples that are bi. Are there any other couples with straight females? We find them very hard to find! " Both straight here. Tend to find alot of the guys are bi too though | |||
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"Having been in the lifestyle for nine months now, we're surprised by the percentage of women in couples that are bi. Are there any other couples with straight females? We find them very hard to find! " Why does it matter if they are Bi? All you have to say is your both straight and want to play straight? | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? In our case other people's sexuality doesn't bother us in the least. However I have had some interesting experiences with couples where the bi woman has insisted that she will play straight only to try and convince me to just 'give it a go' when we meet. Therefore we now only meet with couples where the woman is straight so there's no possibility of misunderstanding Wow that's gross. Sorry you experienced that. it's fine. We understand that this doesn't apply to all or even a majority of bi women, we just find it easier to exclude them. " I can see your reasons but that also decreases the pool of potential people. I list for example as bi curious I'm even more picky with women than men so I could as easily say I'm straight...but I'm not against a good snog Sometimes it's not so black and white. At the end of the day you do what works for you but don't let the few make you miss out on something else. | |||
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"If you're both straight, OP, why does other peoples sexuality matter to you? Surely being straight you would outline this to anyone you wanted to meet anyway? In our case other people's sexuality doesn't bother us in the least. However I have had some interesting experiences with couples where the bi woman has insisted that she will play straight only to try and convince me to just 'give it a go' when we meet. Therefore we now only meet with couples where the woman is straight so there's no possibility of misunderstanding Wow that's gross. Sorry you experienced that. it's fine. We understand that this doesn't apply to all or even a majority of bi women, we just find it easier to exclude them. I can see your reasons but that also decreases the pool of potential people. I list for example as bi curious I'm even more picky with women than men so I could as easily say I'm straight...but I'm not against a good snog Sometimes it's not so black and white. At the end of the day you do what works for you but don't let the few make you miss out on something else." I don't feel I'm missing out | |||
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"You have to remember that guys write the profiles, which show that 90% of women are bi-curious or bi but only 10% of men. The reality is more like 50/50, have met many ‘straight’ men who want to suck my cock and yet many of the ‘bi’ women I’ve met have said they’re not really bi and definitely prefer men. " This is why its hard .people are not always honest about their sexuality or intentions Many claim to be straight when in fact they ate bi/ bi playful. We've chatted to couples who state that they are fine with straight play,but then later bring up girly fun. My other half can be orally bi ,only with the right people.We are totally upfront about this on our joint profile ,its always discussed and agreed before hand though . Ive no problem meeting a couple with a bi fem as long as they don't mind playing straight.i have seen some couples state they dont want straight fems though as girl on girl is an important part of play. This is why I get frustrated by those who can't be upfront,it wastes everyone's time when you're not on the same page. | |||
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"Having been in the lifestyle for nine months now, we're surprised by the percentage of women in couples that are bi. Are there any other couples with straight females? We find them very hard to find! Why does it matter if they are Bi? All you have to say is your both straight and want to play straight?" That's fine if they don't try to change play to Bi and from most of our experiences they do not just women but guys also | |||
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"Having been in the lifestyle for nine months now, we're surprised by the percentage of women in couples that are bi. Are there any other couples with straight females? We find them very hard to find! " Yep, we are a straight couple, we have been swinging on and off for about ten years, definitely more straight couples then versus now x | |||
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"Having been in the lifestyle for nine months now, we're surprised by the percentage of women in couples that are bi. Are there any other couples with straight females? We find them very hard to find! " Why are you even bothered, if you're straight? I genuinely think I must be missing something! | |||
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"We are both straight, but we thought that bi women who say that they will play straight would actually play straight. The times my Mrs has felt pressured to play with other women is ridiculous, especially when she has made it abundantly clear that she is straight, sometimes almost to the point of sounding offensive to make sure she's understood, but this still isn't a deterrent. We're only looking for straight couples now, and carefully reading the profile to make sure orientation matches up with what has been written in the bio." we have been more fortunate and had zero ambiguous engagements - it is all about communication and mutual respect | |||
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