FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Advice on moving forward

Jump to newest
 

By *ryme699 OP   Man
over a year ago

salisbury

So I have been on here for a while whilst I was single. I recently met my partner and have mentioned to her that I would now like to see her have sex with someone else. Something she found strange at first but now gets. She also mentioned that she wants to have sex with another female. My issue is, currently it's something that turns us on during sex and foreplay to get us horny. How do I move forward in making it a reality? Thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxycouple28Couple
over a year ago

bexley

Suggest going to a club...not with the immediate intention to play but just to check it out and see how you both feel. Have a proper conversation about how it's new territory and agree that no judgements etc will happen if one of you suddenly doesn't like it. Its not worth risking a relationship for what could be just a quick thrill.

Dip your toe in slowly and find your limits. Thats what we did.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

Good advice above OP. I was very open about being a swinger when I met Flik and when she wanted to know more there were lots of conversations and acting things out in our minds before taking the plunge and going to a club. Don't rush it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ryme699 OP   Man
over a year ago

salisbury

Thanks for the advice, we have talked about the club idea. However she isn't to body confident and is worried on passing judgement however I have reassured her she looks great and it's a grown up environment. Hopefully we will see you soon.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *umbriaman1962Man
over a year ago

outside of penrith

Club advice is good if not body confident why not suggest a club away from home. On ground no chance seeing anyone you might know or little chance seeing them again. Plus treat her nice new underwear to go in.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs can be very intimidating to the uninitiated so be careful with that if you aren't natural sociable people - it could actually put her right off.

Why not try putting a profile together and start chatting to some people about the different scenarios you'd like to play in and get a feel for the direction you'd like to take. Swinging is so diverse and ranging. Maybe sit in a chatroom session together and see how that plays out.

Browse the profiles together and see which ones tickle you pink and compare those things until you find a mutual scenario you'd like to try. Main thing is open, honest and patient communication

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Have you seen the book, 'How to be a swinger' ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Clubs can be very intimidating to the uninitiated so be careful with that if you aren't natural sociable people - it could actually put her right off.

Why not try putting a profile together and start chatting to some people about the different scenarios you'd like to play in and get a feel for the direction you'd like to take. Swinging is so diverse and ranging. Maybe sit in a chatroom session together and see how that plays out.

Browse the profiles together and see which ones tickle you pink and compare those things until you find a mutual scenario you'd like to try. Main thing is open, honest and patient communication "

I'm in agreement, I feel a club for a very first experience is like being thrown in at the deep end.

I also suggest creating a profile, maybe make it fun by taking pictures of one another to either share upon the profile or to share via message when the time is right.

Go through the tick list of interests and discuss them, as you're setting up the profile.

Discuss together what to have in your bio, what you may be seeking.

Browse profiles together, discuss their pictures and bio.

Maybe use your filters, at least to begin with, so it doesn't become overwhelming.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow

Another vote for a club as first time perhaps being a bit too much, although depends on the club and the night. You could try a couple profile and meeting local couples for socials but often there will be an underlying hope/expectation of more. A good half way house is organised socials or perhaps organised house parties with a big social emphasis. Much more relaxed and good way to chat and explore.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *obtributeMan
over a year ago

Somerset

I went to a club with my ex partner a while back. It was our first club visit. It was amazing, as it was a couples-only club night. We just observed and got very horny. I guess it has to be the right club though. We visited Steamers Quay in Torquay, as I said on a Saturday. It's not too far from you either. Very friendly and not at all pushy. We didn't play with any other couples but we could have. It was a super evening.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the advice, we have talked about the club idea. However she isn't to body confident and is worried on passing judgement however I have reassured her she looks great and it's a grown up environment. Hopefully we will see you soon. "

I carry extra weight and have lumps and bumps in all the wrong places but actually found club’s amazing for building body confidence.

You see every size and shape at them but the clubs I’ve attended have been non judgmental. You can go just to socialise, there’s no pressure to play and I ding it far less daunting than waiting for an arranged meet to arrive.

Take it slowly, good honest communication is key and have some initial boundaries in place.

Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for the advice, we have talked about the club idea. However she isn't to body confident and is worried on passing judgement however I have reassured her she looks great and it's a grown up environment. Hopefully we will see you soon.

I carry extra weight and have lumps and bumps in all the wrong places but actually found club’s amazing for building body confidence.

You see every size and shape at them but the clubs I’ve attended have been non judgmental. You can go just to socialise, there’s no pressure to play and I ding it far less daunting than waiting for an arranged meet to arrive.

Take it slowly, good honest communication is key and have some initial boundaries in place.

Good luck "

This we have seen every body type you can imagine in clubs. It's very liberating and great for build body confidence in our opinion x

Much less stress than waiting for a meet to arrive. With clubs you can just watch and decide if you want to partake or not.

KJ

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *entle_lover_xMan
over a year ago

Great Dunmow


"Thanks for the advice, we have talked about the club idea. However she isn't to body confident and is worried on passing judgement however I have reassured her she looks great and it's a grown up environment. Hopefully we will see you soon.

I carry extra weight and have lumps and bumps in all the wrong places but actually found club’s amazing for building body confidence.

You see every size and shape at them but the clubs I’ve attended have been non judgmental. You can go just to socialise, there’s no pressure to play and I ding it far less daunting than waiting for an arranged meet to arrive.

Take it slowly, good honest communication is key and have some initial boundaries in place.

Good luck "

It can go completely the other way in terms of confidence though. Might get a boost or might feel like shit. Ditto private parties. Had both with my partner and we've both had both feelings at different events. I would say very unlikely that anybody would be openly judgmental and criticise but can easily be less subtle but equally difficult feelings of being ignored/rejected and sometimes not so subtle. We've generally found private meets, social or otherwise to be easier in that sense. Some people are good in a club or party environment and very social and confident, others less so and better in a more private setting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/03/23 11:36:30]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

It can go completely the other way in terms of confidence though. Might get a boost or might feel like shit. Ditto private parties. Had both with my partner and we've both had both feelings at different events. I would say very unlikely that anybody would be openly judgmental and criticise but can easily be less subtle but equally difficult feelings of being ignored/rejected and sometimes not so subtle. We've generally found private meets, social or otherwise to be easier in that sense. Some people are good in a club or party environment and very social and confident, others less so and better in a more private setting. "

Sorry to hear that. I can only talk from my own experience of course.

It’s all about finding what suits you best. We can’t be all things to all people.

In general if you’re not comfortable in a group setting it wouldn’t matter if you looked like a supermodel you still wouldn’t feel confident.

I always read reviews of clubs and go on friends recommendations.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *outhbucksCouple
over a year ago

Great Missenden

With regards to body confidence, perhaps consider initially joining a naturist club.

You see every body type and no matter what their shape and size, you will see people confident in their body. This very quickly rubs off on you-not physically though as there is usually no play going on at naturist clubs.

Having said that, considering going to Bristol Gardens Health Spa in Brighton. It is primarily a naturist venue where everyone is naked but with a separate play area which you can choose to go into or not go into.

Clubs are still a good option but go with grounds rules on your 1st visit. For example, go with the expectation that you won't play at all, but just observe. You don't even need to get undressed. Again, you will see a wide variety of shapes and sizes and realise you are just like everyone else.

If you enjoy the 1st visit, go again with slightly relaxed ground rules and see where it leads you.

Remember, the lady should be in control and if she's says she is not comfortable and wants to leave, you go home and talk it through.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Make a couples profile op,

If you add some sexy pics of you both ,it might improve her confidence .

You'll struggle to meet women unless you have an account with both of you on it and visible.

You can set your filters to block people and reduce the mail you get initially and just use the site to have a look and learn what turns her on etc

Take it steady and do what she's comfortable with only.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

No need to meet until she's sure that's what she wants ,there's cams here that you could play on or view others .

Before you do anything,make sure it's what she wants too ,not just a fantasy or something she's considering to make you happy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

Organise a blindfolded 20-man Gangbang for her, you won’t look back…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arrior PrincessWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I might be against the general consensus here but I think going to a club is a good idea. Just treat it as a normal night out with an extra bit of spice. You can get dressed up and have the opportunity to play together at the very least. Nobody will even notice what you do or don't do unless you want them to notice. I think private meets and parties come with a lot of pressure that I don't like at all.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to a sex club. That's what we did after pissing around on here for weeks trying to arrange a meet with no joy. Total waste of time.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally would say a club. I lack body confidence, I’m fine taking pictures, but whipping my kit off in front of people was daunting, yet i saw people of all shapes and sizes, i gained confidence just by being there and seeing were all unique and should all love our shapes and sizes.

There was no pressure to play and was just a regular night out. I also felt much safer in that environment.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Clubs can be very intimidating to the uninitiated so be careful with that if you aren't natural sociable people - it could actually put her right off.

Why not try putting a profile together and start chatting to some people about the different scenarios you'd like to play in and get a feel for the direction you'd like to take. Swinging is so diverse and ranging. Maybe sit in a chatroom session together and see how that plays out.

Browse the profiles together and see which ones tickle you pink and compare those things until you find a mutual scenario you'd like to try. Main thing is open, honest and patient communication

I'm in agreement, I feel a club for a very first experience is like being thrown in at the deep end.

I also suggest creating a profile, maybe make it fun by taking pictures of one another to either share upon the profile or to share via message when the time is right.

Go through the tick list of interests and discuss them, as you're setting up the profile.

Discuss together what to have in your bio, what you may be seeking.

Browse profiles together, discuss their pictures and bio.

Maybe use your filters, at least to begin with, so it doesn't become overwhelming.

"

We went to a spa and a club quite early on and it almost put me off swinging completely - whearas now we've found what works for us! Just know that you don't have to do everything available, only what you both enjoy x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The concerns of yourself and especially your partner are not unique. I have no doubt that every couple new to the scene will have exactly the same thoughts. But if its something that really turns you on, at some point you will need to just take the plunge. If you are not quite ready for a club I guess you could try and find another couple (perhaps also new to the scene) and can then explore together in a private setting.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

It might be worth mentioning now about your profile on here as it probably won't go down to well when she finds out about it herself or later...but you never know she might want you to make a couples one!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top