FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Suggestion to make it easier

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I responded no thanks to every profile who messaged me, I would do very little else. A delete without a reply is a reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

taunton somerset

nah ill stick to my way ... it works for me my way

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X"

Women are under no obligation to reply, if they don't take it as they aren't interested. Some get hundreds of mesaages a day, could you imagine trying to reply to everyone it would be a nightmare. Just suck it up buttercup and move on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Send a message and move on. If you get a reply it's a nice surprise

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oulou22Woman
over a year ago

Sutton

I delete messages fairly quickly if I'm not interested but still get follow ups

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oan of DArcCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X"

.................................

I understand the pain of the single man OP, but often times a polite no thanks is followed up with messages trying to circumvent preferences or downright abuse!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

A simple read and no response is a gentleman way to accept not interested you don't need to receive a response to confirm it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In an ideal world, this could work.

It's not an ideal world, unfortunately.

We do try to reply to all, though there are moments I don't, often depending on the message, or profile attached to it.

You'll be surprised how many a polite 'no thank you' see this as a positive, assuming they can sweet talk us into changing our mind.

We try to avoid the delete, unless necessary, because we still may be happy to connect at a different point or for another reason.

Example ...... We've generally sought guys a little older than Mrs A, and so if we deleted every guy that's younger, we might now restrict ourselves as we are now considering looking for a younger guy.

My advice ...... Once you've sent that message, move on from it, until you receive a reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I apologise if i didnt explain the point accurately. In practical experience i received positive replies after a polite second message which shows that no reply doesnt always mean no. I am probably too old school in terms of manners and respect and have to suck it up that this is probably not the place to expect that. Well. Thanks for the replies and i get the message. Happy weekend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I apologise if i didnt explain the point accurately. In practical experience i received positive replies after a polite second message which shows that no reply doesnt always mean no. I am probably too old school in terms of manners and respect and have to suck it up that this is probably not the place to expect that. Well. Thanks for the replies and i get the message. Happy weekend"

The best manners and etiquette is to know the customs in the area you're in.

On Fab, no reply means assume no interest and move on.

"Normal" manners don't apply here on either side - women don't get bombarded by men in the "normal" world either. Different circumstances require different customs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might be helpful to you OP, if you check out the site FAQs

The matter of non-replies has been dealt with - and it comes up quite often on these forums.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arkknight25Man
over a year ago

London

Just have to accept that a single man finding a meet on here is almost like a lottery. We might get 2-3 mails a week, I'm sure ladies are more like 2-300, mostly full of cock pics!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Just have to accept that a single man finding a meet on here is almost like a lottery. We might get 2-3 mails a week, I'm sure ladies are more like 2-300, mostly full of cock pics!"

Daily!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I particularly appreciate that reply. Makes a lot of sense. Cheers and happy weekend x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uitednbooted2Man
over a year ago

Berkshire

In my first message to someone I am interested in I actually ask them that if they are not interested that they just delete and block me so I don’t invertently contact them again in the future.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Problem is if you say no thanks ,often you get a message back asking why not or with abuse.

Ill always reply though when someone's read my profile or written a nice message .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *den-Valley-coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cumbria

It's out of your control OP now get over it...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X"

What you are doing is bad form,

"I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages"

What you're doing is harassment to most people, 1 message and if no reply move on, not keep messaging and messaging, that's what irates people

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

[Removed by poster at 11/03/23 00:09:52]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Move on when you have messaged. It's really simple and takes no effort.

If you can't do this and expect everyone else to make up for your shortcomings and refusal, I don't think Fab is a place where you will be at ease. Your pressure is likely to bleed through your messages, acting like an undercurrent, deterring others from wanting to engage.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X"

Not quite sure what you mean by you had instances where you had 2 or 3 positive replies as it wasn't down to a lack of intrest?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

Also it sounds like your one of thee men who can't handle not being answered so people must reply to you in order for you to move on? Move on from what? It's not like youv had a relationship and need an explanation as to why they have rejected you, if they simply don't answer and don't delete that's on you how you deal with that, not the other person, you have gone to their inbox and they are well within their right not to answer you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Also it sounds like your one of thee men who can't handle not being answered so people must reply to you in order for you to move on? Move on from what? It's not like youv had a relationship and need an explanation as to why they have rejected you, if they simply don't answer and don't delete that's on you how you deal with that, not the other person, you have gone to their inbox and they are well within their right not to answer you."

This. We used to receive no replies almost every time we reached out to women and couples, and sometimes men too! We just moved on with our day

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

tf1

I currently have 206 unread messages.

I simply don’t have time or inclination to reply to messages that send me cock pics, ask me if I wanna fuck or send me repeated messages.

Kindly stop telling us ladies what to do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I apologise if i didnt explain the point accurately. In practical experience i received positive replies after a polite second message which shows that no reply doesnt always mean no. I am probably too old school in terms of manners and respect and have to suck it up that this is probably not the place to expect that. Well. Thanks for the replies and i get the message. Happy weekend"

In that case, maybe respect that people handle things their way, to what suits them.

Real manners would be after sending a polite message, to not 'expect' a reply, to not 'expect' things done your way to suit you, but to accept that people make their own choices, often based around their own experiences here, and to respect that.

Using manners initially gets you no prizes, they have to be exercised throughout.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks again for all the replies and just to clarify it was just some suggestion not a demand or trying to tell anyone what to do. All the best and a lovely sunny weekend

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks again for all the replies and just to clarify it was just some suggestion not a demand or trying to tell anyone what to do. All the best and a lovely sunny weekend"

Sunny weekend, are you in the UK or taking the proverbial

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *amantha TSWoman
over a year ago

Swindon

I get both sides of the argument.

In my previous life I would read a profile, work out if I might be what they're looking for, decide if they were what I was looking for then craft a message specific for them. I did this every time, no copy or pasting here. I had followed their rules, used their secret word, included a face pic... whatever. I had spent time and effort in messaging in an attempt to stand out from the "fancy a fuck" messages. But they often got deleted unread, even when the profile said "we reply to all messages with x,y or z". Its annoying and can be quite rude.

But then again the volume of messages Fab ladies/couples can get can be overwhelming, and sometimes wading through an inbox can be too much work on a site that should just be fun.

Might go and suggest more message filters, perhaps things like "must have a SFW picture attached on first email" or "email length must be over 200 characters" might help improve the quality of messages, and reduce the amount of crap in everyone's inboxes so the mail that does get past is actually worth reading?

(I know this idea might need all pics to be labelled SFW / NSFW but surely that should be standard on the Internet these days anyway?)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

My suggestion is to make yourself familiar with the website FAQs before signing in and suggesting others what they should do.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X"

If guys just deleted their "Sent" box it wouldn't be a problem.

And wouldn't give people a way of getting round filters at a later date.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X

If guys just deleted their "Sent" box it wouldn't be a problem.

And wouldn't give people a way of getting round filters at a later date."

It's not just a "guy" problem

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single guy myself I find these type of posts embarrassing. Single ladies and couples get inundated by messages from guys. Simple rule if you don’t get a reply they AIN’T interested so just move on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Id be here all day replying no thanks... i did reply politely today to a guy no thanks and was then told he didnt want to fuck me anyway he just thought i might be gagging for it... obviously im not that desperate... al stick to no reply not interested

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"As a single guy myself I find these type of posts embarrassing. Single ladies and couples get inundated by messages from guys. Simple rule if you don’t get a reply they AIN’T interested so just move on. "

Sorry if i made you feel embarassed mr nice guy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X"

Tried for a couple of days, as a result I got plenty of insults after wasting time and effort to answer those jerks, thanks but no thanks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"I apologise if i didnt explain the point accurately. In practical experience i received positive replies after a polite second message which shows that no reply doesnt always mean no. I am probably too old school in terms of manners and respect and have to suck it up that this is probably not the place to expect that. Well. Thanks for the replies and i get the message. Happy weekend"

Women may read and reply, they are under no obligation to carry on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Try not to overthink

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X"
There definitely needs to be a inbox for messages off friends on this site.

That would help women too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich


".

It's not just a "guy" problem "

So why is it always guys that whinge about it then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


".

It's not just a "guy" problem

So why is it always guys that whinge about it then?"

It's not, I've read posts from others

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hello ladies

I understand that you get bombarded with messages of men on a daily basis and struggle to sift out the decent proposals. I had instances where I received positive replies after 2 or 3 messages as it wasnt down to a lack of interest. I would like to suggest that you either pop a short no thanks message over or delete the message which would make it easier for us men to move respectfully on. And to the gents i suggest that you respect that and leave the ladies alone if its clear as I heard its a common theme that they get abuse after a rejection. Interested to hear your opinions on that and i shall wish you a great weekend. X"

The FAQs for the website state that no response is a response- if someone doesn't reply just move on. Adjust your expectations differently and just enjoy yourself

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top