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Not really swinging but advice maybe??

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By *jb8028 OP   Man
over a year ago

dunmow

In a few weeks I’m going away with my best friend of 15 years, she is married with two kids.

We’ve never really had a sexual connection or anything before, would be lying if I said I wouldn’t but at the same time I respect her, her marriage and kids like you don’t stay friends with someone that long by accident there’s some sort of connection that lasts and lasts…

Anyways, the marriage isn’t the best, and from what we’ve discussed and she’s hinted at before although in her past she has told me that she’s a bit of a nympho and I would t be able to keep up, I think of late she’s just never really been up for it with him even though he tries.

Me and her have tonnes in common, she’s said multiple times when me and her go out places it’s like stuff that they never do together and she sorta actually has fun, the other day we were out and remarked about how nice it was to have some adult company when normally she’d have been on her own because he works late afternoon/evenings…

But yea sharing a twin room, first time we’ve actually been away together in all these years even though we’ve talked about doing it loads but never organised anything… if something was to happen what do I do…. Do I give back what’s she’s giving me and just go with it potentially ruining a long lasting friendship through guilt and their marriage, or do I turn around and be like no, not doing this… you’re married, kids etc I don’t wanna ruin that for you even though you aren’t happy with him and then through her guilt she becomes distant for wanting but me being me and turning her down she feels in the wrong and we fall out…

Thanks for reading, kinda in a weird place with it all and looking back although would have been more expensive, going with seperate rooms atleast I wouldn’t be having thoughts like this

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

Could ruin the friendship potentially if anything happens

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

She's already being emotionally unfaithful to her husband.

I would strongly advise against entering into a sexual relationship with your friend. Is there a reason you can have an open and honest conversation with her about this ?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"She's already being emotionally unfaithful to her husband.

I would strongly advise against entering into a sexual relationship with your friend. Is there a reason you can have an open and honest conversation with her about this ?"

This

I'm already concerned about the fact her husband seemingly has no issue with the two of you sharing a room.

Even a twin.

A

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"She's already being emotionally unfaithful to her husband.

I would strongly advise against entering into a sexual relationship with your friend. Is there a reason you can have an open and honest conversation with her about this ?"

*Can't have

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Do you fuck your male friends when you go away with them?

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By *amnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

tf1

Don’t do it. If it’s meant to be then once she’s single you can hook up.

It’s messy and complicated and will almost certainly add drama to your life.

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By *illloganMan
over a year ago

Essex

Does the husband know you're going away together?

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By *implynaughty1Couple
over a year ago

stockport

Do what makes you happy and be a little bit selfish

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

You've said that you respect her, her marriage and her kids so doesn't that already answer your question?

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

I'm sorry if this comes across rude but its not meant to be, but I honestly cant get my head around the fact that not only is she going on holiday with another man albeit she's your best friend but sharing a room together and the husband is compleatly fine about this? Does he even know she is going with a man?

However, you need to respect her as your friend,and the fact she is married with kids, do you absoloutly know for a fact that she isn't happy or is she just telling you this?

It all seems a bit odd if I'm being honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I mean me and my husband are extremely open and chilled out (having met on here) but sharing a room with a long standing male best friend? I can’t see how that would be acceptable.

Does the husband know you’re going away together?

I’d advise against saying no! It sounds like they’re going through a rough patch and she’s trying to find a way out. Tell her to speak to her husband and either work through their problems or separate.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You fear she may make a move, make it clear you are unavailable before you reach this point.

Support her, listen to her concerns, help her through them, don't allow either of you to see this as an opportunity to ruin a good friendship.

My (Mr)closest friend is a woman, we've been friends for over 25 years, we did have a few little blips, where one of us, or the other misunderstood our relationship, nothing happened, due to the level headed thinking of one or the other, and we got past it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In a few weeks I’m going away with my best friend of 15 years, she is married with two kids.

We’ve never really had a sexual connection or anything before, would be lying if I said I wouldn’t but at the same time I respect her, her marriage and kids like you don’t stay friends with someone that long by accident there’s some sort of connection that lasts and lasts…

Anyways, the marriage isn’t the best, and from what we’ve discussed and she’s hinted at before although in her past she has told me that she’s a bit of a nympho and I would t be able to keep up, I think of late she’s just never really been up for it with him even though he tries.

Me and her have tonnes in common, she’s said multiple times when me and her go out places it’s like stuff that they never do together and she sorta actually has fun, the other day we were out and remarked about how nice it was to have some adult company when normally she’d have been on her own because he works late afternoon/evenings…

But yea sharing a twin room, first time we’ve actually been away together in all these years even though we’ve talked about doing it loads but never organised anything… if something was to happen what do I do…. Do I give back what’s she’s giving me and just go with it potentially ruining a long lasting friendship through guilt and their marriage, or do I turn around and be like no, not doing this… you’re married, kids etc I don’t wanna ruin that for you even though you aren’t happy with him and then through her guilt she becomes distant for wanting but me being me and turning her down she feels in the wrong and we fall out…

Thanks for reading, kinda in a weird place with it all and looking back although would have been more expensive, going with seperate rooms atleast I wouldn’t be having thoughts like this "

Who booked the room? Is she aware you will be sharing?

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

[Removed by poster at 25/02/23 08:10:21]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you fuck your male friends when you go away with them?"

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Mate you are so far in the friend zone.......

Just enjoy the friendship.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"She's already being emotionally unfaithful to her husband.

I would strongly advise against entering into a sexual relationship with your friend. Is there a reason you can have an open and honest conversation with her about this ?"

Wise words as usual by Mrs nice

Also do you know her hubby well ,think how he'd feel if he knew .

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"She's already being emotionally unfaithful to her husband.

I would strongly advise against entering into a sexual relationship with your friend. Is there a reason you can have an open and honest conversation with her about this ?"

Exactly this.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is what I call a 'Firework' thread.

It's like the OP has lit the fuse and then run away.

As is often the case with threads like these, the original conundrum is posed with no futher comment from the OP.

No update on the situation, no further information or answers to questions put by those trying to be helpful.

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By *awpleasureMan
over a year ago

Sutton Coldfield


"This is what I call a 'Firework' thread.

It's like the OP has lit the fuse and then run away.

As is often the case with threads like these, the original conundrum is posed with no futher comment from the OP.

It was posted yesterday and he's not going away for a few weeks. Give the OP a chance ffs

No update on the situation, no further information or answers to questions put by those trying to be helpful.

"

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