FabSwingers.com forum: Nervous

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can talk the talk but can't walk the walk (bonus for anyone who can identify where that misquote is from).

Basically I'm not over my ex but there's no chance of reconciliation and I need to move on and live my life!!

I'm not looking for a relationship, but how the fuck do you take that leap?

I'm not a bad looking guy (I hope). I have a few knocks and scrapes, and do talk to ladies, even arrange a meet, then bottle it.... Am I broken?

Women seem to move on easier. Why is that?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

You're not broken it just takes time and women can find it just as tough to get over relationships. Mostly I suppose it depends on who wanted it to end and why is why,some people get over them quicker if they are the ones who instigated the break.

If you are struggling though and have dropped out of meeting on here after arranging to then maybe fab isn't the right place for you right now. While you and everyone else has the right to say no thanks at any point you may end up being seen as someone who just likes to string people along if it is a constant thing you do.You are looking for two meets right now even though you say on this thread you find it hard to go through with meeting anyone.

Give yourself time to get over the relationship,try and find something to take your mind off it and I know that is easier said than done.You need to find your own way through,talk to family and friends if you can. Break ups are tough but it gets easier.Good luck on your journey.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know if this is the kind of thing you have done before and want to get back to or if it is the kind of thing you believe you "should" be doing if single?

"Living your life" doesn't necessarily mean having sex with strangers you've only interacted with online. In fact, if you've mostly been in non-swinging LTRs it might not suit you all.

It doesn't suit me. I've never, ever, "arranged to have sex" with a person online. For sure I've met people for drinks in public places and *then* had uncommitted sex with them. Occasionally, and for the best part of 20yrs. But "will fuck basically anything on arrival" is a relatively niche activity amongst humans. Nothing wrong with it. But not how most ppl live their lives most of the time.

You might be better going to some group socials, a spot of (normal) speed dating, join a dance class (ceros is largely for middle aged divorcees who've not danced before, but perfectly fun)... Just *genrally* spending time in "mildly flirty" to "not necessarily flirty at all" structured situations where if you don't show up, or don't like it and want to leave when you do, it's not messing up any individual's evening. Including your own xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Ceroc, which I had a typo in, is literally just dancing. You'll meet lots ppl, and chat. Noone is necessarily there for anything else. Pls don't go thinking it's a swinging thing - it's just a commonly used "getting over ex" thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can talk the talk but can't walk the walk (bonus for anyone who can identify where that misquote is from).

Basically I'm not over my ex but there's no chance of reconciliation and I need to move on and live my life!!

I'm not looking for a relationship, but how the fuck do you take that leap?

I'm not a bad looking guy (I hope). I have a few knocks and scrapes, and do talk to ladies, even arrange a meet, then bottle it.... Am I broken?

Women seem to move on easier. Why is that?"

Hopefully you messaged the ladies whom you arranged meets with to explain why you couldn't go through with the meet as opposed to just ghosting them by cutting contact right before the meet or worse leaving then to arrive somewhere only for you to not turn up.

A lot (I mean a lot of fab users) many single males but not exclusively come on to fab because the they like the idea and fantasy of meets, 3sums etc they can be excellent at talking the talk but are never able to walk the walk (as you referenced) when shit gets real.

Swinging, 3sums, moresums through to casual 1 on 1 hook ups aren't for everyone and that's ok. You need to be in the right place yourself before undertaking those journeys.

Maybe take some time just to focus on you first OP.

It's only fair to anyone you do actually meet that your in the right head space going into a sexual situation with a new person or persons.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

It's unlikely that many women would want to meet someone who's still hung up on his past

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

Some people need more time, things will get better, take care

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