FabSwingers.com forum: How do you let a FWB go,

By *ellalua OP Woman
over a year ago

Camberley

It's complicated, but you meet someone who wants a relationship.

You want this relationship but have such a connection with your fwb as a friend and sexually. How do you let go and move on from that emotional attachment?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's complicated, but you meet someone who wants a relationship.

You want this relationship but have such a connection with your fwb as a friend and sexually. How do you let go and move on from that emotional attachment?"

It depends what the relationship is worth to you. The person wanting the relationship with you can't be offering you enough if you are struggling to let go of the Fwb. I assume anyway.

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

[Removed by poster at 04/02/23 21:46:05]

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia

I had to let mine go as he found a gf

It's hard but he's happy with her and that's all I want for him

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

I think first to ask is what do you want from life? This relationship you seek, are you willing to be monogamous? Is that truly you? The reason I ask is there are different ways to live life and its important to not lose who you are. Does this person who wants a relationship know about your FWB? What is their veiw on monogamy (and shade of)? Is it totally a no go to express ideas of non-monogamy with them? Simply is there scope to have both? And if not are you OK with that? Because there are different relationship models you can have with the right people.

However if your all in on this relationship and have to give up your fwb, you have to. Which is hard and sad because a FWB can be perfectly valid, meaningful and deep. Years ago I was in the same boat and traded a fwb for the shot of a conventional relationship. It didn't work out in the end. She wanted different things in life. But afterwards I also realised I don't want to live a conventional monogamous life. Personally Im not polly, but I am a swinger and have meaningful connections with others as well as My Fiancée. I found My One in life and part of why we are so awesome is because we free to be ourselves and enjoy things with others. So anyway my point is if you have to give them up its going to be hard like any break up. But only you can weigh everything up and choose what ultimately the best outcome for you if there can be no gold plate solution. Good luck and I wish you well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not yet had the privilege of a FWB yet... So I don't know how I would handle it.

But if their feelings grew, I'd most likely be fine with that, because I'd be feeling the same.

That's why I'm looking here, so we would both be on the same wavelength.

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By *hyme2020Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow Scotland

I struggled with this as my Fwb was exactly the type of man I wanted for myself. His personality was amazing and he probably “got me” more than my ex husband did. I definitely got feelings for him but he went back to his ex wife and kids. Wanted us to stay friends but I had to block him. He will always be the one that got away to me but it was definitely more one sided unfortunately

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As someone side has said above. Do you HAVE to choose one over the other. Monogamy isn’t the only available relationship style. definitely worth taking time to think what YOUR ideal setup is and what brings you the most peace. Wishing you luck and love x

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"It's complicated, but you meet someone who wants a relationship.

You want this relationship but have such a connection with your fwb as a friend and sexually. How do you let go and move on from that emotional attachment?"
we talking about the googler or rikmak? Maybe he's reading this now, if so you've done it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have both

Don't know if this is an option for you but it's what I would/ have done personally but I'm non monogamous.

Pxx

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By *igger2Man
over a year ago

Neston

My Fwb has just done the same thing met someone who wants a relationship with them and it was so hard to say ok to.

I think we both caught the feels but I had said from the get go that I didn't want a vanilla relationship

I'm sad that I don't get to experience her anymore she is a wonderful peson but happy that she has what she wants.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

From my experience when youeet someone you want a relationship with things just progress naturally.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Can't you have both? Best in the long run to find a swinging bf? That's what I'm looking for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's complicated, but you meet someone who wants a relationship.

You want this relationship but have such a connection with your fwb as a friend and sexually. How do you let go and move on from that emotional attachment?"

Sometimes you can't move on. You have to completely cut all ties. It's not fair on your FWB otherwise.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I think a FWB is just that - a friend with benefits. Friends will understand if you want to move on with your life.

I don’t see why you need to lose the friend part if you enter a relationship with someone else. If you still want the benefits part then that is something you need to reconcile with your new partner.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

For me? I keep the friendship - generally agree to a month with absolutely no contact to put some distance in - but with our clothes on.

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By *_the_impalerMan
over a year ago

canterbury

"Can't you have both? Best in the long run to find a swinging bf? That's what I'm looking for. "

I think hits the nail on the head

Maybe it’s the initial needs as a FWB as mine in the past have been exactly that great friends who we can do vanilla things together and later have great sex

Only a couple have had things in their lives in which they have started families etc and we lost touch but most even though play is impossible due to many things we still speak regularly and get on great.

I believe that maybe OP and overlapped the emotional/ love side of her relationship with the friend/ playmate side slightly which is fine when single but maybe causes issues later.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

I’m also non-mono, but sometimes relationships end, including purely sexual ones. I don’t think friendships have to, though, and anyone in a relationship with me has to be able to handle this

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By *hropshireGentMan
over a year ago

Shropshire

I have had this many of times. Meet a woman on here or even the female from a couple and I explain that it’s just NSA sex, quite often after 3 or 4 meets I get a message asking for more.

I’ve found that it’s easier to be honest and say if that’s how they feel we should stop seeing each other right away as it only gets worse.

I’m reluctant to meet new people at my house now too, I’ve had women go crazy and start sending me gifts and even parked up down the road to see if I’m meeting other people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me I e never knowingly had a FWB but my ex kind of turned in to one. But it had to end as for me I was still wanting a relationship or at least the conversation about a one sided open relationship

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