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Autistic here looking to make friends & and swinging advise

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By *uckypup69 OP   Man
over a year ago

Newport

Im a Autistic person so not the most social person newish to swinging and looking to make new friends and go to a club at some point to any one else in the same boat would love to chat , Thanks take care

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By *oupleSouthEast69Couple
over a year ago

brighton

There is a ND support thread on here somewhere you're not alone

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

Hi Mark, welcome to the madness.

You should pop the kettle on right now.

P1 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1346028

P2 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1369444

P3 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1374628

P4 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1375399

P5 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1378212

P6 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1379859

P7 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/support/1384337

P8 - https://fabswingers.com/forum/support/1385017

P9 - https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1386683

P10 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/138935

P11 - https://www.fabswingers.com/forum/swingers/1402246

P12 - coming soon.

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By *nebworthMan
over a year ago

Knebworth

Welcome to Fab. Hope it goes well for you.

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By *uckypup69 OP   Man
over a year ago

Newport

Thanks

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough


"Thanks"

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By *rontier PsychiatristMan
over a year ago

Coventry

Yep your not alone, many of us are.

The club environment is not for the faint hearted as it's a highly social space. However you either do a thing or you don't. That's how I figured it. Its hard work, lots of hard work. Because your trying to decode everything constantly where everyone else seems to just be socialising instinctively with ease. And I get some of us are better at it than others. But if like me you see the effort being worth it in the presence of the prize go for it. I don't want to put you off, to let you know it takes work.

And the more you experience it and expose your self to it better you get and the less effort it becomes. And it is trial and error. You will make mistakes and social faux pas along the way. The key is to not get frustrated with yourself and learn to simply let them go and keep moving. And you'll find your own coping strategies. For example I have a immediate action drill for when I feel I'm getting a bit overwhelmed or struggling in the social and/or sensory ocean. I just remove myself calmly (making an excuse if necessary in company) to a calm quiet space, breath, regroup and go back in when stabilised. I like to think I pull it off well without people noticing or realising in struggling under the surface.

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By *tsasecret37Man
over a year ago

Timperley

I've got an assessment on the 31st but have found clubs to be quite good places for me, despite the social side and people. Think it's because nobody judges and reality just seems to stop for a few hours.

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By *orny PTMan
over a year ago

Peterborough

A good club will able to introduce you to a handful of trusted members, who will mentor you for the evening, ie talk to you until you feel brave enough to wander alone and feet at ease. Jaydees is one of those clubs, as they have a social area and a self service kitchen, which is always good for people watching.

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