FabSwingers.com forum: Some more perspective for guys

By *rFoxAndXeno OP Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth

This is absolutely not a moan or a tantrum, just a different angle!

Now bearing in mind, all of our veris bar one are from clubs, and mostly social. Due to work, distance from each other, sickness, holidays, seasonal events (potential meets all have to contend with these same factors and more, e.g children) we haven't had a meet for several months now, despite trying to arrange one.

We know full well if we had made time and managed to find travel for club visits, we'd have met more people. But we didn't, and that's okay!

TL;DR if couples struggle to get a meet, naturally it will be harder for men, so don't take it personally.

Sometimes that's just life! Happy Sunday

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By *oxycouple28Couple
over a year ago

bexley

There is no replacement for getting along to a club or group social and proving your a real person who isn't a total perv!

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By *rFoxAndXeno OP Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"There is no replacement for getting along to a club or group social and proving your a real person who isn't a total perv!"

Very true!

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By *oxycouple28Couple
over a year ago

bexley

If this got pinned at the top of the page it would save a lot of conversations! Lol

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

"There is no replacement for getting along to a club or group social and proving your a real person who isn't a total perv!"

This needs repeating again and again.

Any meets we've had in the last couple of years, bar about 2, have come from organised socials or a club.

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By *oxycouple28Couple
over a year ago

bexley

We have met the odd guy who comes across as regular and normal and he is the one we would want to do more with.

Unfortunately in clubs the majority ruin it with acting like pervs and following/harassing couples who clearly aren't interested

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I don't really follow...a couple has 2 sets of circumstances to consider, but a single guy, just 1

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

"We have met the odd guy who comes across as regular and normal and he is the one we would want to do more with.

Unfortunately in clubs the majority ruin it with acting like pervs and following/harassing couples who clearly aren't interested "

Fortunately we haven't had too many of these experiences (not to say we haven't had any), which is why we generally only attend couples and single ladies events at clubs

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By *oxycouple28Couple
over a year ago

bexley

Yeah. A pure social mixer is probably best as expectations are set for everyone before they even arrive

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By *rFoxAndXeno OP Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"I don't really follow...a couple has 2 sets of circumstances to consider, but a single guy, just 1"

Basically people's interest isn't guarantee of a meet

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I don't really follow...a couple has 2 sets of circumstances to consider, but a single guy, just 1

Basically people's interest isn't guarantee of a meet"

Seems counterintuitive to let someone know you're interested in meeting and then have a list of reasons for why you can't

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By *rFoxAndXeno OP Couple
over a year ago

Weymouth

"I don't really follow...a couple has 2 sets of circumstances to consider, but a single guy, just 1

Basically people's interest isn't guarantee of a meet

Seems counterintuitive to let someone know you're interested in meeting and then have a list of reasons for why you can't "

Oh, that's not what's happening here

this is over a period of about 4 months, obviously we wouldn't indicate to people we want to meet if we couldn't.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"I don't really follow...a couple has 2 sets of circumstances to consider, but a single guy, just 1

Basically people's interest isn't guarantee of a meet

Seems counterintuitive to let someone know you're interested in meeting and then have a list of reasons for why you can't

Oh, that's not what's happening here

this is over a period of about 4 months, obviously we wouldn't indicate to people we want to meet if we couldn't."

I'm still none the wiser

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no replacement for getting along to a club or group social and proving your a real person who isn't a total perv!"

I agree. I have just done it. Put yourself out there respectfully and socialise and prove who you are. That way you also discover for yourself who you want to meet/associate with and who best to steer clear of. Choose your company wisely guys and gals!

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By *erces LetiferMan
over a year ago

Somewhere off the edge of the map... 'ere there be monsters

"There is no replacement for getting along to a club or group social and proving your a real person who isn't a total perv!"

But... what if being a total perv is what drew me to the swinger club to begin with?

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By *alleyDaveMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"There is no replacement for getting along to a club or group social and proving your a real person who isn't a total perv!

Can't you put out there respectfully through contacting people on Fab? Why are clubs and socials the only way to meet people?

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"We have met the odd guy who comes across as regular and normal and he is the one we would want to do more with.

Unfortunately in clubs the majority ruin it with acting like pervs and following/harassing couples who clearly aren't interested "

I see no real difference between clubs and fab tbh apart from you see them in the flesh at a club and there's way more choice online. I found single men in clubs actually more annoying than men online

Lol

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"There is no replacement for getting along to a club or group social and proving your a real person who isn't a total perv!

Can't you put out there respectfully through contacting people on Fab? Why are clubs and socials the only way to meet people? "

Yes you can meet on fab, just takes time and luck.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Why are clubs and socials the only way to meet people? "

They’re not. If this was true, Fab wouldn’t exist.

Clubs tend to be filled with cliques made up of regulars and groups of friends who have arranged to meet there. Not the easiest, or most welcoming environment to be a single guy with no contacts inside.

Group socials are a great way to get to know likeminded people! Even better if there’s one local to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There is no replacement for getting along to a club or group social and proving your a real person who isn't a total perv!

Can't you put out there respectfully through contacting people on Fab? Why are clubs and socials the only way to meet people? "

We should be able to but sadly there is this mentality on here that every single guy is fake or a dickhead unless proved otherwise. Meeting someone in the flesh (so to speak) goes a way towards proving otherwise. Also some of the clubs (spas) are good to relax in if its quiet so nothing lost in giving it a go (except £30-40 and a few hours)

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

We mainly just stick to clubs for meets as if the meet doesn't work out then you have the insurance of plenty of other potential people to mess about with.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"We mainly just stick to clubs for meets as if the meet doesn't work out then you have the insurance of plenty of other potential people to mess about with."

This.

Time wasters and no-shows don't exist, they are already there.

People with 10 year old pictures or fake pictures - not a thing.

Aggressive goons - ejected by security.

After a while you build up a group of like minded friends and it's almost like bring at the pub with vanilla mates, but with convenience and security.

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

while i do agree clubs and socials are a excellent way for guys to get on the ladder we have to stop this swinging clubs is where its all at .... most swinging couples dont go near a club or social ...

just imagine one weekend just 5% of fab all decided to go to a club there would not be nowhere enough clubs to accommodates we rarely do clubs now unless we are away from home and our local clubs once or twice a year ... most swinging friends we know dont do clubs..

the messers still go to clubs

the unwashed still go to clubs

rude people still go to clubs

there's still clicky groups in clubs

clubs can be very good but they can also be crap or a bad night the clubs are not the scene they are a tiny part

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