FabSwingers.com forum: The forum police

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hello everyone and merry xmas and peace/goodwill to ALL.

We are interested in your opinions for the perceived "forum police" on here. We are not huge forum contributers but do on occasion, however we see a lot of "jumping all over" some posters and a lot of single minded (blinkered opinions??) at times that make us less likely to post.

Sometimes when people look for advice that get lambasted and shot down (maybe even by us)Why do we do this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has off days, when their pissed off, maybe thats why so many arguements start ?

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By *ce WingerMan
over a year ago

P.O. Box DE1 0NQ

I look at it like this, the forums are like a huge pub where everyone is chatting in groups. People will leave and others will enter.

During that time opinions on different subjects may alter dramatically

*courtesy of the useless information department*

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

Agree with the op on this, some people just like to stir things up to be honest and some very opinionated people, the secret is to just not let it get to you. We have spoken to quite a lot of people who will not use these forums because they just get shot down which is a shame.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do people care what others say? Its only a forum dont take it to heart. I can give as good as I get so dont bother me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1 question and you get 100 opinions, thats the variety of life, or just post something silly for a laugh , or as missus says light forum fuse and stand well back when it goes off!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hello everyone and merry xmas and peace/goodwill to ALL.

Sometimes when people look for advice that get lambasted and shot down (maybe even by us)Why do we do this?

"
We live in a country where free speech allows all to express opinions unless they are contray to common law?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

you will never get 100% of the forum users happy as it is made up of a mixed variety of opinions, prejudices, agendas, tastes and a bias to the genitalia of the poster...

it is a shame people say they won't post, but hey their choice.

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By *tra vidaCouple
over a year ago

Kettering

We have found, ironically, that the swinging world is very conservative in it's _iews. And the forums, rather than being a area to trade ideas and suggestion, are a place of stifling or belittling those ideas or suggestion.

And it it is the single guys who get buried time and time again for sometimes quite reasonable posts. And recently it has become noticable that they are usually put down by one or two of the 'usual suspect' goody-two shoe guys who pop up on most posts.

It would be good and encouraging to see some new faces making their _iews known on here without the fear of being shot down by the clique.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you need a fairly thick skin to post on any internet forum because people will use the anonymity of the net to express opinions in a way they never would face to face. There are some contributors who are consistently polite, intelligent and amusing and some who are the opposite and certain threads have me cringing but it's easy to avoid what you don't like

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"I think you need a fairly thick skin to post on any internet forum"

Definitely! Compared to the pagan forums I used to post on this one is extremely polite.

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

[Removed by poster at 26/12/12 11:40:12]

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

"We have found, ironically, that the swinging world is very conservative in it's _iews. And the forums, rather than being a area to trade ideas and suggestion, are a place of stifling or belittling those ideas or suggestion. "

From reading the forums we have come to the same conclusion and it has surprised us. We thought that swingers would be more open minded than most whereas some seem to be just as fixed in their ways and closed minded as non swingers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do feel the forum would be a much nicer/busier place if some people were a little more understanding and less judgmental. "

In the words of Dave Lamb - Careful what you wish for!

Wolf

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

It's a mix. For every "it would be a nicer friendlier place if" comment I notice an equal amount of "it's all silly nonsense and this is a sex site".

I also notice that some people take bans on the chin, accepting it and looking at what they have done, and others rant a rail claiming they have been singled out.

As for the clique, yes, they come and go. I don't think I am in any clique but I do think of myself as part of the community. Communities change and develop. Other people have sent me private messages, sometimes quite rude, telling me they see me as being part of an untouchable clique. I post a lot, I have my reasons for that and I don't expect others to understand or for me to explain.

Enjoy the forum the way that suits you. Participate or lurk. Stick to the rules and show respect to others. My default is to try to be inclusive and welcome new people. I don't have to like everyone and I don't have to agree with anyone in order to do that.

Comfort and joy to all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm proud of my 24 hour forum ASBO just need to work on a 48 hour one now

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I'm proud of my 24 hour forum ASBO just need to work on a 48 hour one now

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By *wanzMan
over a year ago

Swansea

It would be good and encouraging to see some new faces making their _iews known on here without the fear of being shot down by the clique. "

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if the putting down of others is mostly as a result of a couple of goody goody guys....

I am reading a different forum from others here.

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By *innamon!Woman
over a year ago

no matter

Oh I hate it when people leave and I dont know who it is..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ignore and move on, that's what I do.

I am not going to let the opinions and _iews that are different from my own wind me up.

They are usually from people I do not like or care about.

Life is too short.

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By *taffs_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I think this is the first thread none of the regular cliques have posted in. Speaks volumes really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think this is the first thread none of the regular cliques have posted in. Speaks volumes really."

No I posted!!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try not to post on here too much because it winds me up and that's my choice but I do feel the forum would be a much nicer/busier place if some people were a little more understanding and less judgmental. "

I too have worded considered contributions to various posts, and more often than not lately hit the back button and had another cuppa instead.

...Oh and this tail-ending things with 'just saying' - as if that provides the insulter with a disclaimer or licence to do it.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We are quite new to the forums and have dipped our toes in and out of different threads and can honestly say so far the majority of people posting seem to be fairly upfront and honest and friendly,as long as no one is attacking a person individually free and frank disscussions are interesting to read and contribute to

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I too have worded considered contributions to various posts, and more often than not lately hit the back button and had another cuppa instead.

...Oh and this tail-ending things with 'just saying' - as if that provides the insulter with a disclaimer or licence to do it.

Wolf

Ah! The disclaimers: "no offence, but..."; "in my opinion" (who else's are you posting?); the winky or smiley face. The written word is difficult to nuance.

When writing in haste it can be even harder. When you get to know a forum inmates style then you assume something of the tone with which they are posting. New posters don't have that advantage.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Fab is the only forum I post on so I can't comment on the politeness/rudeness on any other fora but I sometimes cringe at some of the responses which I think can be downright nasty, I usually point out in a nice way if the topic has been covered before, but still give my response to the OP (that's on the odd occasion when I'm taking things seriously rather than posting inane drivel as is generally my wont). I've been guilty in the past of "getting the popcorn in" (Smoocher, this is one way of using quote marks

) but my online persona has evolved over the 12 months or so that I've been posting so I try not to be inflammatory. Mostly though, I think there's a hell of a lot of decent folk posting damn good advice, utter bollocks (that's usually me) and interesting ideas. As to the narrow mindedness, I don't know why anyone thinks swingers would be any different to vanilla folk - bottom line is we're all human with all the frailties, nastiness and niceness that characterises humanity - my opinion is, if you're an arsehole in life then it'll come over whether you're on a "sex site" or mumsnet or Facebook. I'd also love to know who the regular cliques are...am I in one??????

Happy Boxing Day everyone xxx

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By *orset manMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

I am on a football forum- if you want aggravation , insults , ignorance and rudeness try one !!

I find fab very civilised

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you get to know a forum inmates style then you assume something of the tone with which they are posting. New posters don't have that advantage."

Forums are like reading Dickens - the people change, the personalities don't.

Wolf

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

As with all online forums, you get your fair share of "cliques" as well as the OG posters (those that have been around for a while).

Mostly through their status, they can and tend to dominate most topics. In some cases, they can rally around each other to jump all over new posters who don't tow the line.

Nothing particularly malicious, but it can be off putting to newbies who, funny enough, are encouraged to join in forum discussions to make themselves a bit more well known.

Such is the way of the internet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe all those newbies that would like to participate in the forums should read through some "back issues".

They do have that week from joining to be able to post on the forums, put it to good use and browse more than the pictures.

I did.

I found it very informative, and not just about topics that are discussed regularly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am on a football forum- if you want aggravation , insults , ignorance and rudeness try one !!

I find fab very civilised"

A bit like motor vehicle forums. If you really want to be insulted go on a plumbers forum lol

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By *lackshadow7Man
over a year ago

Toronto

"I am on a football forum- if you want aggravation , insults , ignorance and rudeness try one !!

I find fab very civilised

A bit like motor vehicle forums. If you really want to be insulted go on a plumbers forum lol"

And any videogame forum. Haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe all those newbies that would like to participate in the forums should read through some "back issues".

They do have that week from joining to be able to post on the forums, put it to good use and browse more than the pictures.

I did.

I found it very informative, and not just about topics that are discussed regularly. "

When we first joined we did exactly this and read through loads, we still wanted to join in and get involved so we asked a question that we had seen loads of answers to but used it ad an excuse to get involved. Most if the answers were polite and helpful but quite a few we're very rude and dismissive. As a result we dip into the forums from time to time. The same posters are still there being nasty and rude. But hay ho such is life. Oppinions are like arseholes everyone had one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe all those newbies that would like to participate in the forums should read through some "back issues".

They do have that week from joining to be able to post on the forums, put it to good use and browse more than the pictures.

I did.

I found it very informative, and not just about topics that are discussed regularly.

Maybe it would benefit the forum if newbies did post regularly.

Some emerge through a baptism of fire ready to walk on hot coals, others sit burned and won't try again ........ I preferred to take the first approach ....... it sure pisses some off but can also be seen as humerous and win you friends, such is life in and out of the forums.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

As this is turning into a mod bashing thread going by the posts I have removed then I am closing it.

Before I do....if you have feedback about moderation or a ban you have recieved you need to send that through the CONTACT button rather than on here as constantly going on about a ban you have recieved that you are not happy with is breaking rules and you could end up with a new ban.

I am going to paste what Admin have said on another thread about what happens if you contact them, they look at every contact and if your ban shouldn't have been given they will overturn it.

*****The forum mods are all volunteers.

Mistakes and mistjudgements occasionally do happen. We do ask that forum ban complaints are directed to us via the CONTACT link.

If you contact us about a forum timeout we will look into it. If you don't hear back from us you can assume we think the timeout is fair .

If you treat the forums as a bit of fun, you won't go far wrong and you're really unlikely to have any problems.

Closing this now, any specific mod issues feel free to contact us directly.

Admin x******

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