FabSwingers.com forum: Easing in gently

By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Sorry if this is a stupid question. Totally new to the scene and although we’re really turned on by the idea of attending a club and swinging, the nerves are high and want to tread gently into trying the scene. Is it okay to watch other couples as they play and have a play ourselves in the same rooms but just with each other? Do people feel okay if you’re watching them but not joining in with them?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Sorry if this is a stupid question. Totally new to the scene and although we’re really turned on by the idea of attending a club and swinging, the nerves are high and want to tread gently into trying the scene. Is it okay to watch other couples as they play and have a play ourselves in the same rooms but just with each other? Do people feel okay if you’re watching them but not joining in with them? "

Of course it is.

Many couples do that. We have many a time. You're never obliged to do anything with anyone and there will no doubt be times at clubs when nobody takes your fancy, so there absolutely nothing wrong with just enjoying each other in the same room as others.

Some couples specifically visit clubs to do this as exhibitionist and voyeurs, with no intention of doing anything with anyone else.

Crack on and enjoy!

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Thanks. Didn’t know if it was frowned upon. Feel it might be the way for us to get into the swing of things. Guessing others will have found those early nerves that went away by starting this way?

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

The secret to clubs is do what you feel happy with. If people are playing in a public space then they will be happy to be watched.

Don’t over think things and just go as far as _you_ want. There is always a next time to do more.

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Thanks. Guess it’s that not uncommon fear of hewing judged! Appreciate the feedback

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

A lot of clubs have lockable rooms with a viewing window so people can watch you but not join in.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

In my experience nerves are to be expected - whether it is a club or a meet. That’s a good thing as it means you are also excited.

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

That sounds good to use as well without anyone unwanted attention! That said, would be great to be fairly close if we’re being the voyeur (within reason, of course! ??)

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

If in doubt call the club and tell them you're new and they'll tell you how many rooms they have and explain the bed etiquette etc. When you arrive they'll give you a tour round the club anyway. Have fun and don't be nervous x

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Thanks. Exciting times ahead I hope! Any club recommendations appreciated.

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By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"Thanks. Exciting times ahead I hope! Any club recommendations appreciated."

We're lucky living in the North West, good selection of clubs most have different events on different days. Check out their websites for more details

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Nothing wrong with that at all. That would be easy to do at somewhere like Chameleons on a couples only night.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"Thanks. Exciting times ahead I hope! Any club recommendations appreciated."

I'm hosting a newbie night at AtlantisEVOLUTION in Stoke Jan 20th and 21st. The club opens at 8.30 exclusively for new people. You'll get chance to have a tour, chance to look around properly and ask any questions and raise concerns before others arrive.

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Fair distance from us but I get the idea it’s worth the journey? Definitely prefer that sort of night

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Thanks for letting us know

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By *eatcrusadersCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

We have been incredibly nervous each time we went to a club and still are. Unfortunately the clubs haven’t had so many people in them when we went so it has been hard to get started.

I think if we could watch some other people playing while we touch each other, that would be an amazing start to a night. So far we have always just been wandering the club feeling a bit awkward not sure how to approach people.

Luckily, one experienced could we had a short chat with came and danced with us on the dance floor last time we went.

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By *eatcrusadersCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Thanks. Exciting times ahead I hope! Any club recommendations appreciated.

Hi Lizzy,

We would love to try something like this.

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By *winging Sally SeanCouple
over a year ago

Warks / Northants Border

"Thanks. Exciting times ahead I hope! Any club recommendations appreciated."

We've not had the opportunity to go ourselves, but we've spent quite a bit of time looking at different clubs up North. There are two near you which we intend to visit in the coming months;

Townhouse in Birkenhead. This was the first club we intended to visit. We drove as far north as Chester before we bottled out and spent the weekend doing vanilla stuff instead.

Cupids in Switdon. This has only recently come on our radar. However, it does seem like the street of place we might enjoy.

As was mentioned above, have a look at the reviews and websites. You'll get a good feel about whether the club is for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s definitely ok with what you are looking to experience! We’re heading to cupids tonight for the newbies night - it’s really chilled and there is never any pressure to play! Feel free to do things at your own pace

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We recently went to Xtasia for the first time and were nervous as well. We chose to go on a fancy dress night and on a Saturday so there weren't single men (had bad experience with that the first time we tried a club). The fancy dress night meant we had a bit of an opener to chat to people about their costumes. So always worth checking out what sort of nights clubs are offering to pick something that suits you. Also have a look on here and drop the odd message to others who are going. It's nice to have someone you can chat to a bit when you are there and maybe not quite so intimidating as just going up to people once you get there. We also go with no expectations other than having a chat and wondering around and maybe seeing a few things in the more open areas of the club. Anything else that happens after that is a bonus.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Op this is fine totally. Others have mentioned Cupids and yes this is a good club. In the couples room there are couches you can watch couples playing. You don’t have to join in and there is no pressure

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

[Removed by poster at 08/01/23 08:45:55]

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

"We have been incredibly nervous each time we went to a club and still are. Unfortunately the clubs haven’t had so many people in them when we went so it has been hard to get started.

Luckily, one experienced could we had a short chat with came and danced with us on the dance floor last time we went. "

Sounds exactly they kind of thing I was thinking. Thanks for that. Guess we just need to get stuck in!

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Sounds perfect. Thanks!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs are great fun, you can just chat to people, be social, play together in a couples room or in a private room or play with others if the vibe is right. Every club has its own atmosphere so try a few out if you're able to, maybe find a newbies night?

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

Yes thats totally fine. Shows you respect others to by not assuming you get to play with them just because you are sharing the play room.

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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago

Nr Leicester

Totally understandable question and not stupid in the slightest!! Having been to 3 different club's on 5 occasions, the nervous excitement is always there a couple of times we've not played with anyone else other than a soft style due to mother nature and in some ways they were our most enjoyable.. We love the environment and freedom that comes with a club. Go enjoy regardless whether you touch anyone else you'll love the experience and fuck each other senseless the week after

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By *aan31Man
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Feel free to message me. I'm the same, went to a club the first time Friday. If I can be of any help as seeing it from a newbie point of view x

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By *aan31Man
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

Hi Lizzy, I might have to try it out as only ever been once to a club

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

Think of it like a pub first, you see and chat to all kinds of people. Some of them will be incredibly friendly but not play with anyone, some will not talk at all but ask you to join. There is a whole spectrum of everything in between. Go with no expectations, other than chatting to people and see where it goes, you may even be the people doing the inviting, if you go into an open door room and start playing you may get people watching and if you like the look of someone I'm pretty sure they will jump if you give them the signal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When we went to our 1st club. We were a bit nervous initially but nerves went a few minutes into being there. We were eased into it by a friend couple who are into swinging for a long time.

As many suggest. Think of it like a pub but you might see the occasional ass cheek in the social area.

You don't have to do anything you do not feel like doing. Usually clubs have areas where everyone including single males are welcome and different areas for couples with single ladies allowed.

If you choose to pick a room in a couples area. Lock it up, shut the blind and have all the fun you want.

People usually leave doors or windows open so that's an invitation to watch but not touch. Clear communication is clear so if someone wants to play, they'll let you know and so should you.

We went the mistake of going on a night where single males were allowed so it was a little off putting to the Mrs at one point where a guy stood so close we could almost smell him. Our mistake, played the open area.

Attend a couples night. Have a chat with regulars or even newbies. Had a lot of newbies when we went so had things to relate to.

You have to try it to see if it's for you. Don't pressure yourselves into doing anything just because you are there.

A lot of people attend just for a chat, a peak and a drink. As do we, until we find our match and have fun.

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

"When we went to our 1st club. We were a bit nervous initially but nerves went a few minutes into being there. We were eased into it by a friend couple who are into swinging for a long time.

As many suggest. Think of it like a pub but you might see the occasional ass cheek in the social area.

You don't have to do anything you do not feel like doing. Usually clubs have areas where everyone including single males are welcome and different areas for couples with single ladies allowed.

If you choose to pick a room in a couples area. Lock it up, shut the blind and have all the fun you want.

People usually leave doors or windows open so that's an invitation to watch but not touch. Clear communication is clear so if someone wants to play, they'll let you know and so should you.

Attend a couples night. Have a chat with regulars or even newbies. Had a lot of newbies when we went so had things to relate to.

You have to try it to see if it's for you. Don't pressure yourselves into doing anything just because you are there.

A lot of people attend just for a chat, a peak and a drink. As do we, until we find our match and have fun.

Thanks - makes us feel a lot more relaxed and def looking to stay away from single men. Sorry guys!

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

"Think of it like a pub first, you see and chat to all kinds of people. Some of them will be incredibly friendly but not play with anyone, some will not talk at all but ask you to join. There is a whole spectrum of everything in between. Go with no expectations, other than chatting to people and see where it goes, you may even be the people doing the inviting, if you go into an open door room and start playing you may get people watching and if you like the look of someone I'm pretty sure they will jump if you give them the signal."

Thanks - love the idea of thinking of it as a pub (even if it’s a lot cheekier!

)

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Thanks. Very nervy but excited!

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

"Clubs are great fun, you can just chat to people, be social, play together in a couples room or in a private room or play with others if the vibe is right. Every club has its own atmosphere so try a few out if you're able to, maybe find a newbies night? "

Cheers - newbies night might be a good start for us

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

"Thanks. Exciting times ahead I hope! Any club recommendations appreciated.

Hi Lizzy,

We would love to try something like this. "

Sorry I only just saw your comment. It's a shame we don't get notified of comments like this.

I'll send you the information about the event next weekend. If anyone else want more information, feel free to message me or check CLUB EVENTS in the forum . You will be made very welcome

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By *os Amantes 22Couple
over a year ago

sexy lane

Hi, we’ve been on the scene a year now and still haven’t taken the plunge although we happily enjoy each other in these clubs. We both agree there’s no pressure to take the next step and think it should progress naturally, be interesting to see how long other people took to take the next step?

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By *ancelot1633Man
over a year ago

weybridge

"Hi, we’ve been on the scene a year now and still haven’t taken the plunge although we happily enjoy each other in these clubs. We both agree there’s no pressure to take the next step and think it should progress naturally, be interesting to see how long other people took to take the next step? "

Took me a couple of trips to acclimatise with each new club to start with. As a single male it’s quite easy to take my time as I’m not having to fight them off. Even now I only play if there is a strong attraction for me, luckily I like people and am not so hung up on appearance so there are sufficient opportunities. Rather walk away than have a bad experience.

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

Yes, definitely. Always had the idea people dived straight in which feels a bit “intense”! So glad to hear that doesn’t seem to be the case for a lot of people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is what we’re into, we recently visited our first club, we were made to feel welcome by all. I found that there were no expectations of us and everyone respects boundaries. To be fair, I felt safer in that club than I do in any pub!

Unfortunately we didn’t play (women’s problems) but I can’t wait to go back and now don’t feel nervous at all.

Mrs

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By *londieBluey765Couple
over a year ago

HULL

hi try clubplay reopens shortly after refurb and if can get in Avante Garde hotel swingers hotel blackpool x

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By *0coupleCouple
over a year ago

Cornwall

Following, we are nervous newbies when it comes to clubs.

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By *arriedwelshcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We're also interested in trying a club but very nervous too!

Is it best to attend couples/single ladies nights for newbies?

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.

"We're also interested in trying a club but very nervous too!

Is it best to attend couples/single ladies nights for newbies? "

Cpls nights are better as you dont get pestered by the single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was in a couple, then couples nights are far better. Only takes one tanked-up single male to spoil everything

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By *arriedwelshcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

[Removed by poster at 22/01/23 21:38:50]

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By *arriedwelshcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"We're also interested in trying a club but very nervous too!

Is it best to attend couples/single ladies nights for newbies?

Cpls nights are better as you dont get pestered by the single guys. "

Thank you

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By *eastXMan
over a year ago

London

Id like to add the importance of clarity and communication. And always be safe, no need to rush!

Enjoy ! And welcome !

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

"hi try clubplay reopens shortly after refurb and if can get in Avante Garde hotel swingers hotel blackpool x"

Thanks - will do!

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

[Removed by poster at 29/01/23 12:06:08]

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By *crcouple36 OP Couple
over a year ago

Bolton

"This is what we’re into, we recently visited our first club, we were made to feel welcome by all. I found that there were no expectations of us and everyone respects boundaries. To be fair, I felt safer in that club than I do in any pub!

Unfortunately we didn’t play (women’s problems) but I can’t wait to go back and now don’t feel nervous at all.

Mrs "

That’s great thanks. Good to know the nerves will ease!

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

"hi try clubplay reopens shortly after refurb and if can get in Avante Garde hotel swingers hotel blackpool x

Thanks - will do!"

Great Club

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire

Most couples rooms have viewing windows

Some smaller rooms have windows that you can leave open or close

There's no requirement to play with other people if you just want each other

Overthinking will just stop you going

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