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Sub and/or brat

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Can I ask advice about these please.

Are they one and the same? A variant of each other?

How do you determine which to use?

When is best to use the differing one?

So many options but knowing when to ask about which to use?

Help please

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

It is a question of what school of D/s you in.

Brats would define themselves in a number of ways, the usual two are I would suggest are these. They are submissives whose submission has to be earned by someone who can handle them and they will push the doms buttons (they challenge the dom's authority) Type 1. Others would describe themselves as cheeky chappies that like a laugh at the dom's expense but without being disrespectful (e.g being pedantic about instructions and deliberately misunderstanding them) Type 2.

Some people take the view that brats are not subs as brars especially Type 1 brats are seen as topping from the bottom. Brats however of both Types identify as subs. It is usually best to allow brats to self identify because some subs find it insulting to be called a brat.

There are doms that prefer brats and know how to deal with them. These are "brat wranglers".

Personally I don't deal with Type 1 brats, and can deal with Type 2 brats.

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By *lowercandyWoman
over a year ago

Lancashire


"Can I ask advice about these please.

Are they one and the same? A variant of each other?

How do you determine which to use?

When is best to use the differing one?

So many options but knowing when to ask about which to use?

Help please "

Personally I see them as different.

You don't determine... The person does . because they know their own self. Then it's a discussion on how or if you can bring your dynamic together

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I'm a brat. I don't call myself a sub. I appreciate they're on the same side of the line, but it's just not as black and white as everyone is either a dom or sub if they're into BDSM.

Everyone is different. Approach everyone as an individual.

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By *sLillyMrWolfeCouple
over a year ago

near you...

I prefer to call myself a subby brat or bratty sub if I'm in the mood to top from the bottom otherwise just a sub. Lx

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I’m a sadistic bratty Dom!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah, the beautiful rainbow of D/s….

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire

I think there's an argument to be made that dynamics between people also play a huge part. L is a sub with bratty tendencies with me, but really she's just a brat. But, she completely melts and obeys with women - vanilla or D/s.

As has been said, it's a spectrum and the only way you're gonna know is by exploring it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It is a question of what school of D/s you in.

Brats would define themselves in a number of ways, the usual two are I would suggest are these. They are submissives whose submission has to be earned by someone who can handle them and they will push the doms buttons (they challenge the dom's authority) Type 1. Others would describe themselves as cheeky chappies that like a laugh at the dom's expense but without being disrespectful (e.g being pedantic about instructions and deliberately misunderstanding them) Type 2.

Some people take the view that brats are not subs as brars especially Type 1 brats are seen as topping from the bottom. Brats however of both Types identify as subs. It is usually best to allow brats to self identify because some subs find it insulting to be called a brat.

There are doms that prefer brats and know how to deal with them. These are "brat wranglers".

Personally I don't deal with Type 1 brats, and can deal with Type 2 brats."

This is really enlightening.

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"It is a question of what school of D/s you in.

Brats would define themselves in a number of ways, the usual two are I would suggest are these. They are submissives whose submission has to be earned by someone who can handle them and they will push the doms buttons (they challenge the dom's authority) Type 1. Others would describe themselves as cheeky chappies that like a laugh at the dom's expense but without being disrespectful (e.g being pedantic about instructions and deliberately misunderstanding them) Type 2.

Some people take the view that brats are not subs as brars especially Type 1 brats are seen as topping from the bottom. Brats however of both Types identify as subs. It is usually best to allow brats to self identify because some subs find it insulting to be called a brat.

There are doms that prefer brats and know how to deal with them. These are "brat wranglers".

Personally I don't deal with Type 1 brats, and can deal with Type 2 brats.

This is really enlightening. "

Evie Lupine on YouTube (in my view) has a lot of good information on D/s generally and on brats in particular.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

The problem with labels...

There is no one true way to be any type of BDSM label.

subs tend to do what they are told. And then their Dom rewards them, by whatever release the sub enjoys.

Brats tend to misbehave and challenge 'authority' as any attention is good attention for them. Brats want to be made to submit.

But everyone is different

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By *ope_kisses22Couple
over a year ago

Hyde


"It is a question of what school of D/s you in.

Brats would define themselves in a number of ways, the usual two are I would suggest are these. They are submissives whose submission has to be earned by someone who can handle them and they will push the doms buttons (they challenge the dom's authority) Type 1. Others would describe themselves as cheeky chappies that like a laugh at the dom's expense but without being disrespectful (e.g being pedantic about instructions and deliberately misunderstanding them) Type 2.

Some people take the view that brats are not subs as brars especially Type 1 brats are seen as topping from the bottom. Brats however of both Types identify as subs. It is usually best to allow brats to self identify because some subs find it insulting to be called a brat.

There are doms that prefer brats and know how to deal with them. These are "brat wranglers".

Personally I don't deal with Type 1 brats, and can deal with Type 2 brats."

I would echo all the above has said..... easier than to re type it in my own words!

I would say brattiness is usually on the s side of the coin but actually can be just a characteristic of a person.

So .... as always with all things bdsm.... best to let the person self define than label. As I am one that's gets pissy when called a brat as I don't define as one. (It's usually when I challenge a 'Dom' and they feel threatened to call me bratty )

K

X

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I ask advice about these please.

Are they one and the same? A variant of each other?

How do you determine which to use?

When is best to use the differing one?

So many options but knowing when to ask about which to use?

Help please

Personally I see them as different.

You don't determine... The person does . because they know their own self. Then it's a discussion on how or if you can bring your dynamic together "

Thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It is a question of what school of D/s you in.

Brats would define themselves in a number of ways, the usual two are I would suggest are these. They are submissives whose submission has to be earned by someone who can handle them and they will push the doms buttons (they challenge the dom's authority) Type 1. Others would describe themselves as cheeky chappies that like a laugh at the dom's expense but without being disrespectful (e.g being pedantic about instructions and deliberately misunderstanding them) Type 2.

Some people take the view that brats are not subs as brars especially Type 1 brats are seen as topping from the bottom. Brats however of both Types identify as subs. It is usually best to allow brats to self identify because some subs find it insulting to be called a brat.

There are doms that prefer brats and know how to deal with them. These are "brat wranglers".

Personally I don't deal with Type 1 brats, and can deal with Type 2 brats."

thanks

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm a brat. I don't call myself a sub. I appreciate they're on the same side of the line, but it's just not as black and white as everyone is either a dom or sub if they're into BDSM.

Everyone is different. Approach everyone as an individual."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I prefer to call myself a subby brat or bratty sub if I'm in the mood to top from the bottom otherwise just a sub. Lx"

Sounds simple enough

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ah, the beautiful rainbow of D/s…."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think there's an argument to be made that dynamics between people also play a huge part. L is a sub with bratty tendencies with me, but really she's just a brat. But, she completely melts and obeys with women - vanilla or D/s.

As has been said, it's a spectrum and the only way you're gonna know is by exploring it."

I best dive straight in

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you to all who have added advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can I ask advice about these please.

Are they one and the same? A variant of each other?

How do you determine which to use?

When is best to use the differing one?

So many options but knowing when to ask about which to use?

Help please "

Personally I don't get the need to determine and label what type of dynamic you have, for us its about the connection and what comes naturally to the person in the sub role at that the time - so basically wherever their head space is at the time. Though admittedly this can be pre discussed and determined if going for a rp based fun session. Just my opinion of course.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Can I ask advice about these please.

Are they one and the same? A variant of each other?

How do you determine which to use?

When is best to use the differing one?

So many options but knowing when to ask about which to use?

Help please

Personally I don't get the need to determine and label what type of dynamic you have, for us its about the connection and what comes naturally to the person in the sub role at that the time - so basically wherever their head space is at the time. Though admittedly this can be pre discussed and determined if going for a rp based fun session. Just my opinion of course. "

Appreciate the perspective

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I find this illuminating. Never knew I was a “brat” just thought I was looking for someone who could roll over my fuck you behaviour. Brat. Fuck me it’s a thing.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find this illuminating. Never knew I was a “brat” just thought I was looking for someone who could roll over my fuck you behaviour. Brat. Fuck me it’s a thing. "

I guess to recognise it helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was going to explain from my own bratty POV, but don't think I could add anything that hasn't been excellently explained above =)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this illuminating. Never knew I was a “brat” just thought I was looking for someone who could roll over my fuck you behaviour. Brat. Fuck me it’s a thing.

I guess to recognise it helps "

My last fb called me a pain in the ass diva, which was ironic ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I find this illuminating. Never knew I was a “brat” just thought I was looking for someone who could roll over my fuck you behaviour. Brat. Fuck me it’s a thing.

I guess to recognise it helps

My last fb called me a pain in the ass diva, which was ironic .. "

Seems they got it right then??

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By *irty Little RascalWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Can I ask advice about these please.

Are they one and the same? A variant of each other?

How do you determine which to use?

When is best to use the differing one?

So many options but knowing when to ask about which to use?

Help please "

A brat is a submissive who loves to playfully push buttons and ‘break’ rules. They behave this way to deliberately provoke attention from their Dominant, its playful. Think sassy and mischievous, versus straight-up disobedient.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this illuminating. Never knew I was a “brat” just thought I was looking for someone who could roll over my fuck you behaviour. Brat. Fuck me it’s a thing.

I guess to recognise it helps

My last fb called me a pain in the ass diva, which was ironic ..

Seems they got it right then?? "

Well it was my ass so…no

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton

[Removed by poster at 29/12/22 00:13:39]

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"I find this illuminating. Never knew I was a “brat” just thought I was looking for someone who could roll over my fuck you behaviour. Brat. Fuck me it’s a thing. "

This is why I believe education and reading around kink is helpful. Although it helps if you know what you are doing is kinky or BDSM. I spent years tying girlfriends without realising it was a kink thing.

One other thing you may want to consider which is D/s, and in that basket of behaviors that include bratting, is primal prey. I have set out a rough explanation below.

"Let’s use an example of two people committing to primal play.

One person will play the predator, who is the dominant one of the pair, while the other plays the submissive prey.

The predator’s aim is to hunt down the prey, and the prey’s aim is to escape the predator before ultimately becoming submissive to their dominance.

As the words “predator” and “prey” are typically used when referring to animals, this is the reason primal play is often misconstrued as pet play. However, unlike pet-play, primal play isn’t necessarily about role-playing as particular animals such as a cat and a mouse.

Instead, primal play encourages the people involved to get in touch with their primitive, primal instincts that every human has buried inside them due to social niceties and constraints.

Primal play typically blends the worlds of fear and foreplay together.

To those who are a part of the primal play kink community, the fear involved in the primal play isn’t a non-consensual one. Instead, the idea of being “hunted” and having to “fight” for dominance can be arousing."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I find this illuminating. Never knew I was a “brat” just thought I was looking for someone who could roll over my fuck you behaviour. Brat. Fuck me it’s a thing.

This is why I believe education and reading around kink is helpful. Although it helps if you know what you are doing is kinky or BDSM. I spent years tying girlfriends without realising it was a kink thing.

One other thing you may want to consider which is D/s, and in that basket of behaviors that include bratting, is primal prey. I have set out a rough explanation below.

"Let’s use an example of two people committing to primal play.

One person will play the predator, who is the dominant one of the pair, while the other plays the submissive prey.

The predator’s aim is to hunt down the prey, and the prey’s aim is to escape the predator before ultimately becoming submissive to their dominance.

As the words “predator” and “prey” are typically used when referring to animals, this is the reason primal play is often misconstrued as pet play. However, unlike pet-play, primal play isn’t necessarily about role-playing as particular animals such as a cat and a mouse.

Instead, primal play encourages the people involved to get in touch with their primitive, primal instincts that every human has buried inside them due to social niceties and constraints.

Primal play typically blends the worlds of fear and foreplay together.

To those who are a part of the primal play kink community, the fear involved in the primal play isn’t a non-consensual one. Instead, the idea of being “hunted” and having to “fight” for dominance can be arousing."

"

I don’t think I agree with you in this, unfortunately. A bratty sub is usually more associated with the DD/lg aspect of kink.

Primal play is usually not that lighthearted and playful.

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire


"I find this illuminating. Never knew I was a “brat” just thought I was looking for someone who could roll over my fuck you behaviour. Brat. Fuck me it’s a thing.

This is why I believe education and reading around kink is helpful. Although it helps if you know what you are doing is kinky or BDSM. I spent years tying girlfriends without realising it was a kink thing.

One other thing you may want to consider which is D/s, and in that basket of behaviors that include bratting, is primal prey. I have set out a rough explanation below.

"Let’s use an example of two people committing to primal play.

One person will play the predator, who is the dominant one of the pair, while the other plays the submissive prey.

The predator’s aim is to hunt down the prey, and the prey’s aim is to escape the predator before ultimately becoming submissive to their dominance.

As the words “predator” and “prey” are typically used when referring to animals, this is the reason primal play is often misconstrued as pet play. However, unlike pet-play, primal play isn’t necessarily about role-playing as particular animals such as a cat and a mouse.

Instead, primal play encourages the people involved to get in touch with their primitive, primal instincts that every human has buried inside them due to social niceties and constraints.

Primal play typically blends the worlds of fear and foreplay together.

To those who are a part of the primal play kink community, the fear involved in the primal play isn’t a non-consensual one. Instead, the idea of being “hunted” and having to “fight” for dominance can be arousing."

I don’t think I agree with you in this, unfortunately. A bratty sub is usually more associated with the DD/lg aspect of kink.

Primal play is usually not that lighthearted and playful."

Agree with this. The headspace for bratting and the headspace for primal play are 2 different planes.

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By *rFoxAndXenoCouple
over a year ago

Weymouth


"Can I ask advice about these please.

Are they one and the same? A variant of each other?

How do you determine which to use?

When is best to use the differing one?

So many options but knowing when to ask about which to use?

Help please

A brat is a submissive who loves to playfully push buttons and ‘break’ rules. They behave this way to deliberately provoke attention from their Dominant, its playful. Think sassy and mischievous, versus straight-up disobedient."

This being a brat is just one facet of my sub persona! - Xeno

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