FabSwingers.com forum: How to find a bi-fem to pop my cherry...

By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Evening everyone,

Okay, so as our profile states we are looking for a bi-fem for me to have my first ff experience... I know there are 100's of ladies on fab wanting to pop their bi-flower and perhaps am being unrealistic in thinking its going to happen soon for me

but will put my questions to you lovely people anyways..

We have been chatting to a few people who we thought where single bi-fems but after requesting further pics and meetings on Skype - they have gone very quiet. They might genuinely have been shy swingers?! or have 2 heads?! But out gut feeling is these were men with fake profiles. It's so frustrating when time is spent on these people when they are not genuine

Anyways, back to the topic, are we being un-realistic in our expectations to find someone genuine who might be interested in playing with me on fab? Am i more likely to find a willing bi-fem to play with me when attending a club with no prior arrangement? Should we be looking for single bi-fems or bi-fems in couples? My worry is with a couple that the guy would want to join in and with a single girl that she would want mr path to join in after - neither of these circumstances we are ready for just yet... Only fem-fem play ATM

Couple of things to add: Mr Path will 100% not be joining in only watching, first meet would prob be at a club (LC is our local one and have a few dates in new year booked)

Final thing to add (thanks for still reading!) is if its off-putting for bisexual ladies reading this that I'm bi-curious and never been with a women. Is that the reason in struggling to find anyone? Or would it be a turn on to show me what I've been missing?

Thanks for any advice!

Mrs Pathfinder xxx

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By *edangel_2013Woman
over a year ago

southend

For me personally, I wouldn't like to be anyone's first time. Especially in the swinging scene. I've seen too many women do it because their husbands wants them too, not because they want to. Believe me, I was one of them. So I'd rather not.

I also like some involvement with the man, for me that is the point of playing with a couple.

However, that is just me, I cannot speak for any other bi fem. After all, it was always someones first time, so there must be some out there that don't mind.

Keep plodding away, you will get there eventually. A club is possibly more likely to get you the experience you want. But don't rule out couples totally, just look for ones that are soft swap only. There are loads out there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think this is a tricky situation...firstly if all you want is fem/fem play and your other half would 100% not be joining in, why are you on a joint profile? surely it's better to be on a single profile and state that your other half knows about it? as i am bi myself i would want to play with both him and her...and also i would never want to play with some one who is bi curious, as it appears to be a fantasy scenario for some couples..or a kind of bucket list thing which is a big turn off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Persevere, we were in your position not so long ago and got through it. The right lady is out there somewhere and i know at least one hubby who doesn't mind just watching lol. Perhaps we'll bump into you at lc one night. Good luck.

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I'm in the same boat, I don't have a partner but I am bi curious and am worried about having fem fem play with an experiences lady in case I make an idiot of myself. Lol. Shame your not closer we could of had an interesting experimenting session x

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Bi fem play often happens at lc on couples night (Saturday). I have frequently been approached, sometimes during play.

I'm not bi so I say a pleasant no thanks. But I have looked down during group play and realised that the gifted tongue/fingers belong to a woman. In that situation I let them carry on...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"For me personally, I wouldn't like to be anyone's first time. Especially in the swinging scene. I've seen too many women do it because their husbands wants them too, not because they want to. Believe me, I was one of them. So I'd rather not.

I also like some involvement with the man, for me that is the point of playing with a couple.

However, that is just me, I cannot speak for any other bi fem. After all, it was always someones first time, so there must be some out there that don't mind.

I agree with this.

I wouldn't feel at all comfortable being a woman's 'first time' if some bloke was there watching. I'm a person, not a porn film. I'd happily meet a woman if it was just me and her.

There's a lot of saddo blokes that get off on pretending to be single fems or couples. I ask for fem to fem phone chat. If they disappear then you didn't waste any time.

A club sounds like your best bet. Good luck. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/12 08:52:16]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I suppose I'm lucky in the respect that I lost my bi cherry with a friend. I was bi curious for years and often spoke to a friend of mine about it (who was also curious)BUT we were both terrified! Cut a long story short she invited me to hers we got merrily d*unk and I had one of the most mind blowing sexiest nights of my life

we just went with the flow x "

I think because it was just the two of us.. It made it so much easier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love playing with bi curious ladies.

I've popped quite a few cherries in my time. I take it really slowly and very gently.

But, being honest I wouldn't like the hubby watching unless he was going to play at some point..

Oh and sorry but im over the pond in Ireland.. So of no use to you.

Best if luck you will find her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is that you are effectively looking for a woman to be your 'plaything' for your pleasure and his titillation .

This puts her role in a less than favourable light as she knows the guy will just be a spectator and although she will be bi she may want cock too !

She also won't know how things will pan out as you may not be sure either so the meet proposition isn't gonna sit high on her list of priorities .

Good luck anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ms here. I'd be put off by the guy just watching and not getting involved. Feeling like a performing monkey is not appealing! Maybe think about it from the single lady's point of view and what she's going to get out of meeting. A club might be worth a try. Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for. X

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By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Thanks for all the replies

given me lots to consider already. Hubby has said he would be happy for me to play solo for my first experience - so could look to create a single profile and see where that takes me. I know some ladies will be put off by it being my first time but I want to be honest about the situation so if it does not appeal to some people fair enough... Definately would not describe this as an experiment -although i can see how some people view it as such.

Shame some of you ladies are not in my area - wish me luck!!!

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi, I've been "first women" for one or two curious women, and it's important to simply go slow and let the new girl find her own way and set her own limits.

But the one big problem about your proposed scenario is that you'd want your hubby to watch. That's an absolute "NO" for most bi women like me. It's a horrible feeling being watched - makes me feel like a performing circus animal and kills all passion. It's fine meeting and getting to know hubby, but it stops at the bedroom door!

It's something that I will never, ever do again!

In fact, although I'm a genuine and very loving bi-fem, I've just about given up meeting couples for just that reason. I'd rather meet singles, one-on-one, and feel free to enjoy myself.

Hope that you find someone to help you though!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for all the replies

Shame some of you ladies are not in my area - wish me luck!!!

Xxx"

Try a club, we nervously tried eurekas, now have lots of wonderful friends and love the social side, no expectations and relaxed atmosphere to everything. Many fantasies are coming true

Xxx

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By *rs PickWoman
over a year ago

North Wales

Think I'm with most women on here.

If I was meeting a couple I'd want to play with the couple. Its not fair on anyone if that doesn't happen..

Also I too wouldn't want to be someones first in the swinging scence woman or man. Wouldn't want to mess things up for the other person.

What I found good for my first time was just the two of us bottle of wine a chat and giggle just to relax getting to know each other. Then exploring each other in the bedroom. Although I love clubs I get more from Bi experiences else where.

Hope it all happens for you soon, sure it will you seem a lovely person and nice body

Nikki x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Leave hubby at home, pick a girl you like with experience, meet socially first to see if you click, arrange a meet and take it slow and sensual with lots of playing ... after a good meet you will be sure to change 'curious' to 'secual', keep looking and enjoy yourself x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me it's "hubby will watch" bit that puts me off, I take this as an .....I'm doing it for him not for me, statement. I've been a first timer for quite a few bi curious women, always been a very positive experience. I would never play with a lady whilst her partner sits in the corner having a wank! It's never going to happen, there's something very erotic about being with another woman, I couldn't put on a show for her partner, spectator tickets are always gonna be a no no for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite happy to as long as i could bring hubby along to watch too.

we all have to start somewhere xx

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By *ubybabyCouple
over a year ago

lincoln ish

im freeeeeeee xxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your best bet is probably meeting a bi fem couple at a club where you and the other female can play together and at the same time both of you also play with your own partners during the experience. Then your husband gets the benefit of seeing you with another woman and playing with you too so not a spare part. Also there will be less pressure on you during your first time with a lady as the focus won't all be on you and her. Just my thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cherry Picker here in Spain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Evening everyone,

but will put my questions to you lovely people anyways..

Couple of things to add: Mr Path will 100% not be joining in only watching, first meet would prob be at a club (LC is our local one and have a few dates in new year booked)

Thanks for any advice!

Mrs Pathfinder xxx

You could find other couples where like yourself the guy only watches.

We do it like that also and there is plenty on here seeking the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"but I am bi curious and am worried about having fem fem play with an experiences lady in case I make an idiot of myself. Lol. "

I know that feeling lol xx

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

"but I am bi curious and am worried about having fem fem play with an experienced lady in case I make an idiot of myself. Lol.

You wont, Its not exactly something that comes naturally, but the thing is, you know how it feels when things are done to you, so its easy for you to replicate it on another lady, you can tell from her body language and her vocal moans if she is enjoying it.

Dont do anything until you feel sure and safe, and just enjoy, you will be loking for more more more before you know it. xx

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By *o-jCouple
over a year ago

Outskirts of Notts

"but I am bi curious and am worried about having fem fem play with an experienced lady in case I make an idiot of myself. Lol.

Dont do anything until you feel sure and safe, and just enjoy, you will be loking for more more more before you know it. xx "

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not play one on one first(mentioning the other half knowing about it) and then if you find someone you get on with enough to play again with(or regularly if you're lucky) then ask them how they'd feel about the other half's involvement. Once they get to know you they might feel more comfortable with the idea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why not try a club?

Plenty of bi ladies, you can chat face to face and discuss your interest and your partner can watch from a safe distance if agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Throughout history women have mostly been looked at so I'm not surprised that many women feel put off being looked at... Yet some peeps have voyeurism as part if their interests. Nothing wrong with that if all people involved want that... Anyway as most people have stated a club is a good way to experience bi curious fem fun... I wonder how some women feel if being watched by a woman when with another woman? That's another thread... Besides I've lived with mostly women for most of my life and sometimes found an all woman rather intense as there was no male presence for long periods if time.... And that's without the sex!! Mind you woman to woman sex is very intimate and someone watching would make it seem one was a circus performer....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to clarify how many bi women have expressed views on not wanting to be watched intensely by a man whilst playing with another woman.

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By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

"I think your best bet is probably meeting a bi fem couple at a club where you and the other female can play together and at the same time both of you also play with your own partners during the experience. Then your husband gets the benefit of seeing you with another woman and playing with you too so not a spare part. Also there will be less pressure on you during your first time with a lady as the focus won't all be on you and her. Just my thoughts

Thanks! Your thoughts are spot on

Oh and loving your profile and pics

xxx

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By *athfinders OP Couple
over a year ago

Hull

Thank you to everyone who replied - everyone has given some great advice and made me think of the situation more clearly from a single bi-fems view. Going to keep searching and have a couple of club visits planned in the new year.

2013 is going to be a very good one I think!

Thanks again and Merry Christmas Fabbers!

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