FabSwingers.com forum: How to let them down gently?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So you've been chatting and hitting it off, swapped some naughty photos then they start getting pushy / needy / over familiar, getting spammed dick pics or inpatient responses. You start to notice the red flags and it's a total turn off. You slow down ur messages but they don't get the hint.

What's your response to let them down when you're concerned you may have shared too much personal info?

A copy and paste response would be great! Lol!!

Eeeek!

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By *mber and FireCouple
over a year ago

Carmarthenshire

We know fairly soon whether someone is right or not, so sharing too much isn't an information.

If they get a social meet, then they're probably getting an actual meet so that's when the personal details start coming out, face to face.

We keep it short and simple. "Sorry, we don't think there's any compatibility here. So good luck, and happy fabbing!" or some variation. We can't control how they're going to accept it but for us it's polite and honest and we don't worry about it once it's been sent.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Honestly I don’t think there is a way of letting people down gently.

Good intentions aside, people can still take rejection in a negative light, so its then about how they handle it.

Have you tried talking to him to let you know his behaviour is a turn off?

If he called it down would you still want to see him or is that bridge well and truly burned?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

“It was really nice to meet you, but I’m sorry, I didn’t feel a connection? I wish you well for the future” is something I’ve used

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Sorry but this just isn't for me, it's too fast paced, I have commitments away from fab and it's getting a little much, I think we should call it a day.

Then block.

Mrs

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By *en_Dover79Man
over a year ago

Oswaldtwistle

Just say you don't want to... best and most honest reason in the world

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry but this just isn't for me, it's too fast paced, I have commitments away from fab and it's getting a little much, I think we should call it a day.

Then block.

Mrs "

Oooo good call. I like that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell them your test results have just come back positive or tell them your husband has found your profile, he gets out of prison this week and he’s mad as hell.

They’ll think they’ve dodged a bullet.

Job done.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Don't over invest until you've seen the whites of their eyes

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

We usually wish them good luck and happy fabbing on the site and unfortunately they are not suitable for us at present

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you've been chatting and hitting it off, swapped some naughty photos then they start getting pushy / needy / over familiar, getting spammed dick pics or inpatient responses. You start to notice the red flags and it's a total turn off. You slow down ur messages but they don't get the hint.

What's your response to let them down when you're concerned you may have shared too much personal info?

A copy and paste response would be great! Lol!!

Eeeek!"

I wouldn't be letting them down gently if they started with all that shit!

I'd just say they are too full on and we won't be meeting.

If anyone starts with any sex chat or pics before we've met in person I won't ever meet them.

Pisses me right off when I agree to a social then they start hinting at anything sexual happening. If they are so disrespectful before we've even met, they will be much worse in person.

Just tell them you won't be meeting them after all as you're not compatible. If they throw a hissy fit you know you dodged a bullet. X

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By *uzie69xTV/TS
over a year ago

Maidstone

This always works girlfriend...

I tell them... Actually... I used to be a man....

... Oh wait...

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

What's your response to let them down when you're concerned you may have shared too much personal info?

A copy and paste response would be great! Lol!!

Eeeek!"

I would say something like I am sorry but I no longer feel we are compatible. I wish you happy swinging.

If they send an email asking why not or send you a nasty email block them.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I'd send them a message saying their behaviour has made you change your mind, then block

They've already shown their true colours to you .

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

What's your response to let them down when you're concerned you may have shared too much personal info?

A copy and paste response would be great! Lol!!

Eeeek!"

For us if we don't find that the person we have chatted to for a while isn't right for us or something doesn't feel right, we just tell them that we are sorry but we have changed our minds as that is our right but good luck etc etc, it's not how you deliver that to the person it's how they recieve it which is there problem and not yours, if they can't handle rejection in what ever way it's delivered then they shouldn't be on fab and you don't owe anything to anyone on here, remember that just because your a single woman doesn't mean that you are free for all...if your not happy that's the most important thing..keep yourself safe first...always.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's your response to let them down when you're concerned you may have shared too much personal info?

A copy and paste response would be great! Lol!!

Eeeek!"

Just block them

There's no way to let this type not person down without them potentially becoming nasty and/or more obsessive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's your response to let them down when you're concerned you may have shared too much personal info?

A copy and paste response would be great! Lol!!

Eeeek!"

Delete, block, repeat.

This is the only way on all social platforms.

Really is that simple. No messing around drawing things out. Red flags are red flags. Keep it short and to the point. We usually go with something like ....

"After a conversation together last night we have decided you are not for us sorry, happy fabbing"

Then delete block repeat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's your response to let them down when you're concerned you may have shared too much personal info?

A copy and paste response would be great! Lol!!

Eeeek!

I would say something like I am sorry but I no longer feel we are compatible. I wish you happy swinging.

If they send an email asking why not or send you a nasty email block them. "

Well first of all i would say don't give your email out for starters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Straight forward honesty is the best bet. If they don't take that then it's the block button.

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By *ldFashionedGentMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

If I’m reading this correctly the issue here is that you’re concerned that there is a risk of ramifications due to potentially sharing too much personal information rather than the rejection itself.

I think all of the responses thus far are good and they’re all completely right, some people just don’t handle rejection well.

So I guess there’s two ways you could go. One would be to the point and there are a few good examples here. Otherwise you could simply stop responding and then if they haven’t got the hint just sent a short message saying that this isn’t for you and good luck.

If you’ve already slowed down or stopped responding then pulling the trigger now would seem the sensible option. Then it really is down the individual concerned as to how they take it, I’ll keep my fingers crossed.

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By *izandpaulCouple
over a year ago

merseyside

We don't get into sexy talk or swapping sexy photos before any social meet, think it can send out wrong signals.

After social meet it all guns blazing or "nice to meet you last night, Paul and I enjoyed your company but won't be taking it any further, thanks for taking the time to meet up"

During the social bring up you don't do post mortems after initial meets, meaning you don't examine why you don't want to take it further in great detail, it's either meet again or not, so if you do send a thanks but no thanks message they probably won't ask for any reasons.

Works for us.

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

I won’t sext before a meet, it’s too easy to turn me off that way.

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m what you’re looking for. I hope you find someone wonderful though.”

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

I've had this happen to me especially when I have said I would meet someone they have suddenly gone full on and very pushy about what they want go happen and even though I told them a few times that we are just meeting for a chat to see if we get on they continue pushing it.So I will usually just saw it has been nice chatting to you but I feel that you expect a lot more from a social than I'm willing to commit to and I have changed my mind about meeting you and no longer want to chat with you.

It's the same with a people I met who became very pushy after one social and wanted to know if I was chatting to others and that they didn't want me to meet anyone else.I was just truthful and told them I had no interest in meeting them again or staying in touch.

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By *sBlueWoman
over a year ago

Up North

I just say sorry not my type

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

I would much prefer to be told what the problem is if someone thinks I have overstepped a line or even if they just changed their mind, it would help prevent making the same mistake so a sorry not for us, I feel like you are pushing us/me, you're too far away, sorry but I think your cock is too big, whatever is kindly recieved rather than silence. Silence won't always stop the problem and it's not nice when you get the silent treatment so I think you are very considerate even thinking of how to reply.

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By *he Happy ManMan
over a year ago

Merseyside

What's your response to let them down when you're concerned you may have shared too much personal info?

A copy and paste response would be great! Lol!!

Eeeek!"

I would be honest. I would say sorry but you are coming on too strong for me. I wish you happy swinging.

Sorry as we go to know each other more I don't think we are compatible. Happy swinging.

If they reply with what do you mean?, I didn't want to shag you anyway, etc block them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Book them an std clinic appointment

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

"I've had this happen to me especially when I have said I would meet someone they have suddenly gone full on and very pushy about what they want go happen and even though I told them a few times that we are just meeting for a chat to see if we get on they continue pushing it.So I will usually just saw it has been nice chatting to you but I feel that you expect a lot more from a social than I'm willing to commit to and I have changed my mind about meeting you and no longer want to chat with you.

Yip this has happned to us on a number of occasions during the socials to, one guy even believed he was in a 3 way relationship amd we truly belive that he was falling deeply for myself (fem) but it was very very quick and felt the need to be texting all day every day, we had never given him the idea that we would even consider playing with him amd that it was a social only and would never be a play and told him we were in here not only for swinging but to make friends, this was all made very clear..he was happy with that but then like I said he was pushing for play, msging constantly, starts being quite derogatory, in the end we had no choice but to just block him on WhatsApp, text amd on fab...that one in particular was really bad, but also the very pushy men who believed they were entitled to a play because we were chatting to them...some behaviours on here are just crazy

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

For me it’s similar to one above. Goes something like. “I’m not going to take this further. Chatting was ok but I don’t like being pushed. (Change for your reason). I have a busy life and that is always my priority. I wish you well. Have fun x.

In might say. Thanks for chatting a while but im not going to take it further. I wish you lots of fab fun.

V x

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