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Why don't guy's follow up

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By *otwife and Him OP   Couple
over a year ago

northstowe

We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have seen a lot of females and couples been messed around which is a shame really .

I'm completely on same page as you both where I'm looking for a good time but often get shut down or such by others in my local area

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By *b72Man
over a year ago

Nottingham

For some the idea is thrilling, the act terrifying. Others may not be so single as they say. Sadly it gives those of us how can up shit creek.

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By *atenaWoman
over a year ago

Hyde

Fantasists and internet wankers I'm afraid .... when push comes to shove they bottle it!!

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By *layful Couple For YouCouple
over a year ago

Lust

We’ve stopped trying with single guys to be honest. Like you say, they’re happy to chat for a while but never seem willing to agree on any kind of plan to actually meet up.

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By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

Fab is full of timewasters.

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By *herryEatersCouple
over a year ago

East Cheshire


"Fantasists and internet wankers I'm afraid .... when push comes to shove they bottle it!! "

Exactly, just had a couple do it again to us tonight. Last couple left site mid chat. Single guy pulled out 3 hours before meeting with a sus excuse. It's getting so frustrating on here this last few years !!. So bad now we only half get ready, expecting them to vanish before the meet

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By *rad670Man
over a year ago

South Lakes

Jeez, it seems that many guys are having their time wasted by couples and many couples having their time wasted by single guys, seems like ships passing in the night. it's so difficult to determined how serious someone is until the crunch time and the meeting, the longer I've been on here the more fantasists appear.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I had the opportunity's I would be genuine for meets, or even of something came up let that person know, hate how impersonal people have become to just fucking about with people's excitement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might have just had a better offer! Young black guys seem in high demand in here!

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Tbh prefer meeting people in clubs and take it from there - I would say I find fab really hard work, I never know when to mention meeting

Ina club within 15-20 mins chatting maybe suggest going fia wander or play.

I find it easier

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the internet. Attention wanders, people get bored easily, or maybe they just had a wank and lost the urge to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

Maybe they don't like your attitude in your messages...

To say " they are getting to have sex . ..." Implies you feel are doing them a favour..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

Maybe they don't like your attitude in your messages...

To say " they are getting to have sex . ..." Implies you feel are doing them a favour.."

common attitude with couples aimed at single men I’ve noticed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why we stick to clubs, if they don't turn up. Awww well sure there are others to chat and play with.

It's not just single guys. Women and couples time waste too.

Clubs are the way.

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By *ermaine44Man
over a year ago

North Birmingham


"For some the idea is thrilling, the act terrifying. Others may not be so single as they say. Sadly it gives those of us how can up shit creek. "

I think this hits the nail on the head. It’s human nature for the human body to go into fight or flight mode when put in a situation that makes it feel some what uncomfortable.

From there the easiest way to stop that anxious feeling is to walk away from it and that’s the option most guys are probably taking when they are invited to take part in what’s probably their first 3sum.

Not everyone will walk away and so I’m sure if you persist at it eventually you will find guys that come good. Try to remain positive and don’t lose hope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We now plan 2 or 3 socials with single guys on the same day / evening.

Dora only has to dress up once and if they turn up for a social without too much hassle then there’s a good chance that having met us, chatted, calmed down and realised we’re not nutters one or two will be willing to meet at a hotel in a day or two.

It’s a ridiculous numbers game but you also need to drive it forward with determination.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Maybe because they have changed their minds or something was said they didn't like in the conversation.Just because you are offering sex does not entitle you to it. Just because others are looking for sex does not mean they are looking for sex with you either.

To be honest the opening post sounds like another entitled couple on here who think everyone should jump at the chance to meet them just because they are on fab then get annoyed when someone decides they are not what they are looking for.

The simple fact is everyone is allowed to change their mind at any point and that does actually include men as well,I don't see why they should have to follow through on chats if they find something that puts them off meeting anyone.

If this thread was written about women not meeting a couple there would be unholy war over it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fantasists and internet wankers I'm afraid .... when push comes to shove they bottle it!! "

Like I say from time to time, I don’t just talk the talk I also walk the walk.

Life is hard enough being a single guy on here without people making life harder..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It really bugs me when i read of this happening as it makes life for us genuine guys very difficult as sadly we all get tarred with the same brush.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe because they have changed their minds or something was said they didn't like in the conversation.Just because you are offering sex does not entitle you to it. Just because others are looking for sex does not mean they are looking for sex with you either.

To be honest the opening post sounds like another entitled couple on here who think everyone should jump at the chance to meet them just because they are on fab then get annoyed when someone decides they are not what they are looking for.

The simple fact is everyone is allowed to change their mind at any point and that does actually include men as well,I don't see why they should have to follow through on chats if they find something that puts them off meeting anyone.

If this thread was written about women not meeting a couple there would be unholy war over it."

I agree

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

Yes from 99.9% of the attractive men on here. Obviously too much choice and enjoy the chase to feed their ego? To me it's not fulfilling starting something but getting nowhere

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By *arl JamesMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

Hmmm I am sure I have messaged or winked at most of the sexy couples on this thread lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think genuine guys can also be put off when they realise a couple is playing a numbers game. Sure, we are after fun and good sex but when you realise the couple are serial shaggers meeting multiple guys every week it can be a little daunting, if not simply too risky.

To me swinging is about fun. Finding that you're chatting with a couple who are completely hooked on it takes the fun out of the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

They are just not that interested in you, not sure why this is being used as a negative, are men not allowed to change their mind?

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Hmmm I am sure I have messaged or winked at most of the sexy couples on this thread lol "

But do you meet them? That's the point of this thread is why men just "chatting"?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

They are just not that interested in you, not sure why this is being used as a negative, are men not allowed to change their mind? "

Exactly. No wonder they pull out when the expectation is turn up for sex , like a little toy to be used.

I can imagine the fantasy and chat is far more enjoyable for them that the reality and effort

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By *ain and sortedMan
over a year ago

Old Harlow Essex


"Tbh prefer meeting people in clubs and take it from there - I would say I find fab really hard work, I never know when to mention meeting

Ina club within 15-20 mins chatting maybe suggest going fia wander or play.

I find it easier "

Much easier and more fluid, easier for all patties involved

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

They are just not that interested in you, not sure why this is being used as a negative, are men not allowed to change their mind?

Exactly. No wonder they pull out when the expectation is turn up for sex , like a little toy to be used.

I can imagine the fantasy and chat is far more enjoyable for them that the reality and effort "

But to me that's just timewasting. We already have too many fantasists on here. So a site full of people talking about sex but not doing it...makes alot of sense...

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

They probably chat until they've had a wank then they lose interest.

This is mostly why we tend to stick to guys that we meet at organised socials

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Yes I think for couples, clubs is the way forward. The men are there looking to join couples, do half of the hardwork is removed. It's in real time. I seen alot of couples having fun with black men in clubs. They're like the princes of single men lol

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By *humper.Man
over a year ago

northumberland/scotland

I feckin love the fact that women have already pointed out the entitlement and hypocrisy of this thread.

Bravo ladies!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

Maybe they don't like your attitude in your messages...

To say " they are getting to have sex . ..." Implies you feel are doing them a favour..

common attitude with couples aimed at single men I’ve noticed! "

And single women tbh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

You probably said something that put him off

I don't get how this is classed as time-wasting?

People are entitled to decide at any point of a conversation that they're no longer interested.

Unless you actually planned a meet and they didn't turn up, its not time wasting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

Maybe they don't like your attitude in your messages...

To say " they are getting to have sex . ..." Implies you feel are doing them a favour..

common attitude with couples aimed at single men I’ve noticed!

And single women tbh "

Very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

They are just not that interested in you, not sure why this is being used as a negative, are men not allowed to change their mind?

Exactly. No wonder they pull out when the expectation is turn up for sex , like a little toy to be used.

I can imagine the fantasy and chat is far more enjoyable for them that the reality and effort

But to me that's just timewasting. We already have too many fantasists on here. So a site full of people talking about sex but not doing it...makes alot of sense... "

This is not time-wasting

The whole point of having a conversation is to see if you're feeling the person or not

Just because you're having a conversation with someone doesn't mean that they are obligated to meet you

You may have said something they don't like and thought it would be easier to end all contact there and then to risk it becoming more difficult down the line

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Maybe because they have changed their minds or something was said they didn't like in the conversation.Just because you are offering sex does not entitle you to it. Just because others are looking for sex does not mean they are looking for sex with you either.

To be honest the opening post sounds like another entitled couple on here who think everyone should jump at the chance to meet them just because they are on fab then get annoyed when someone decides they are not what they are looking for.

The simple fact is everyone is allowed to change their mind at any point and that does actually include men as well,I don't see why they should have to follow through on chats if they find something that puts them off meeting anyone.

If this thread was written about women not meeting a couple there would be unholy war over it."

I hate this about fab

Men get cold feet/the ick just as much as women do and are completely entitled to decide whether they no longer want to continue a conversation with someone!

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Whats the significance of mentioning he was black

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Might have just had a better offer! Young black guys seem in high demand in here! "

It seems that the swingers scene see black single guys as a highly desirable play mate to the point of skin colour and or racial backgrounds being seen as nothing more than some exotic fetish.

I would think that a lot of black guys don’t even have to make much of an effort in trying to attract attention for some women or couples on here as they are seen as a sexual commodity to used.

It also speaks volumes as to what levels of disrespect some men are willing to stoop too if it means they might get laid.

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By *rofessorMarcusMan
over a year ago

Chorley

Remember, the Guild of Time Wasters has members from both sexes

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people, which also includes Internets, availability etc.

If people accept this as a realistic expectation, then there would be less unhappiness, as the larger number of chats gets filtered naturally down to fewer people who get to actually meet.

Deciding on your realistic expectations is only something that you can do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

They are just not that interested in you, not sure why this is being used as a negative, are men not allowed to change their mind?

Exactly. No wonder they pull out when the expectation is turn up for sex , like a little toy to be used.

I can imagine the fantasy and chat is far more enjoyable for them that the reality and effort

But to me that's just timewasting. We already have too many fantasists on here. So a site full of people talking about sex but not doing it...makes alot of sense... "

Roll your eyes all you want but a person, male or female, deciding that the other person is not for them and changing their mind for whatever reason is not time-wasting. I sometimes feel that People are way to quick to call people fantasits and time wasters, just because they don't drop everything to please someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

They are just not that interested in you, not sure why this is being used as a negative, are men not allowed to change their mind?

Exactly. No wonder they pull out when the expectation is turn up for sex , like a little toy to be used.

I can imagine the fantasy and chat is far more enjoyable for them that the reality and effort

But to me that's just timewasting. We already have too many fantasists on here. So a site full of people talking about sex but not doing it...makes alot of sense...

Roll your eyes all you want but a person, male or female, deciding that the other person is not for them and changing their mind for whatever reason is not time-wasting. I sometimes feel that People are way to quick to call people fantasits and time wasters, just because they don't drop everything to please someone else. "

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By *1876Man
over a year ago

Dudley


"Fantasists and internet wankers I'm afraid .... when push comes to shove they bottle it!! "

Precisely

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By *1876Man
over a year ago

Dudley


"We’ve stopped trying with single guys to be honest. Like you say, they’re happy to chat for a while but never seem willing to agree on any kind of plan to actually meet up. "

I understand your frustration, guys...but we're not all the same.

Having said that, from your side, you have no way of knowing who's genuine and who's a timewaster...so cutting out single guys for yourselves is the only option that you're left with Xx

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By *1876Man
over a year ago

Dudley


"If I had the opportunity's I would be genuine for meets, or even of something came up let that person know, hate how impersonal people have become to just fucking about with people's excitement "

Spot on

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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago

Welling

But why would I follow up?

Happened few times, chatting to a couple. Suggesting to progress from chat or offline meet. Giving them view on my availability in general and suggesting few specific slots. Often response is we are busy, need to arrange childcare etc. Which is fine. But I gave holistic view when, my expectation would be for them to follow up. If they don’t - well, probably not that interested and I am not desperate.

These who follow up are genuinely interested and far less chances are time wasters.

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By *otwife and Him OP   Couple
over a year ago

northstowe

Some tell tale signs they won't turn up.

1. "I'll definitely turn up" but don't actually ask for the address.

2. "Can you send pictures and videos of juicys pussy."

3. "WOW, can I see your Por# Hu# channel please". Then they go quiet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But why would I follow up?

Happened few times, chatting to a couple. Suggesting to progress from chat or offline meet. Giving them view on my availability in general and suggesting few specific slots. Often response is we are busy, need to arrange childcare etc. Which is fine. But I gave holistic view when, my expectation would be for them to follow up. If they don’t - well, probably not that interested and I am not desperate.

These who follow up are genuinely interested and far less chances are time wasters. "

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By *cnugatugMan
over a year ago

Chatham

Personally his loss I always follow up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally his loss I always follow up "

Not really his loss though is it? If he thought that he would have gotten back to them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We’ve stopped trying with single guys to be honest. Like you say, they’re happy to chat for a while but never seem willing to agree on any kind of plan to actually meet up. "

Awww not all of us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who are these guys ruining it for all the rest of us? I'm livid, I tell ya. Livid.

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By *ickABCMan
over a year ago

Burton on Trent

There’s too many giving guys a bad name, I’ve had couples and ladies pull out of a meet with an hour to go and sometimes travelled miles to see them, it’s a game to some but just puts you off meeting going forward.

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By *1876Man
over a year ago

Dudley


"Who are these guys ruining it for all the rest of us? I'm livid, I tell ya. Livid."

Why, those bounders...I shall join you in your quest for reckoning

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By *amdenfunMan
over a year ago

London


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

They are just not that interested in you, not sure why this is being used as a negative, are men not allowed to change their mind?

Exactly. No wonder they pull out when the expectation is turn up for sex , like a little toy to be used.

I can imagine the fantasy and chat is far more enjoyable for them that the reality and effort

But to me that's just timewasting. We already have too many fantasists on here. So a site full of people talking about sex but not doing it...makes alot of sense...

Roll your eyes all you want but a person, male or female, deciding that the other person is not for them and changing their mind for whatever reason is not time-wasting. I sometimes feel that People are way to quick to call people fantasits and time wasters, just because they don't drop everything to please someone else. "

Exactly. Initial post gave impression all guys should jump at the chance to meet any couple; we're offering sex! how can he possibly not want it?? (Of course, many guys would.)

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

Tbh OP, like others have said said above, your original post reads as though you think that any man should be grateful to join you. Your profile is also all about what service you’re looking to receive from potential suitors (who have to tick several very specific boxes including bareback) in order for you to consider them.

It doesn’t sound like you’re looking for a mutually enjoyable experience, it sounds like you’re looking for someone to meet your needs solely. If your 121 communication comes across like that too then I’m not surprised you’re struggling.

Being of service to you might appeal to some, but there are some wonderful, kind, lovely black men on the scene who are looking for, and are most certainly worthy, of finding people who want to play with them who are interested in their pleasure too.

Maybe change your approach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Personally his loss I always follow up "

What is he losing?

If he was really bothered about meeting them he would of met them

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"Tbh OP, like others have said said above, your original post reads as though you think that any man should be grateful to join you. Your profile is also all about what service you’re looking to receive from potential suitors (who have to tick several very specific boxes including bareback) in order for you to consider them.

It doesn’t sound like you’re looking for a mutually enjoyable experience, it sounds like you’re looking for someone to meet your needs solely. If your 121 communication comes across like that too then I’m not surprised you’re struggling.

Being of service to you might appeal to some, but there are some wonderful, kind, lovely black men on the scene who are looking for, and are most certainly worthy, of finding people who want to play with them who are interested in their pleasure too.

Maybe change your approach "

What she said

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere."

Exactly this!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally lose interest if it seems whomever in chatting with is not really in the conversation fully , and that I'm just getting a few breadcrumbs to keep me onside while they do the same with others. If they're not engaged in the conversation ,well, my time is limited like everyone elses so I'm not going to waste it .

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere."

I know really successful, realisable single guys who have meets with couples all the time. They’re in demand. I imagine the reason they choose the couples they do is because they make them feel desirable and valued.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere.

I know really successful, realisable single guys who have meets with couples all the time. They’re in demand. I imagine the reason they choose the couples they do is because they make them feel desirable and valued. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere.

I know really successful, realisable single guys who have meets with couples all the time. They’re in demand. I imagine the reason they choose the couples they do is because they make them feel desirable and valued. "

And me!

I've met a guy in his late 40/early 50s and he does really really well

If anyone treats him poorly he gets rid!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere."

With men on here you either get those who can't get meets or those who get loads

There doesn't really seem to be an in between

However there is always a stark and obvious difference between the two types of men and its very rarely looks/body wise

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere.

With men on here you either get those who can't get meets or those who get loads

There doesn't really seem to be an in between

However there is always a stark and obvious difference between the two types of men and its very rarely looks/body wise "

I think good veris and personal recommendations go a long way. The reality is that couples and ladies do talk and if they have had a good meet with someone reliable then they will probably mention that, at some point, to someone else. If that person is looking at some future date then they may well reach out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because they're pussies, that's why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere.

I know really successful, realisable single guys who have meets with couples all the time. They’re in demand. I imagine the reason they choose the couples they do is because they make them feel desirable and valued. "

Exactly this! I know a guy in his mid fifties who has no issues at all!

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By *ensualMan
over a year ago

Sutton


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

Yes from 99.9% of the attractive men on here. Obviously too much choice and enjoy the chase to feed their ego? To me it's not fulfilling starting something but getting nowhere "

I have always had the view that men who are conventionally attractive, body and face but not threatingly attractive, intelligent, confident and charming with a touch of cheekiness), presentable and sexually expert and under the age of 40 (whether white or black) are the real unicorns of Fab. Most of us men think we are but they are the 20% that get the 80% of fun.

Particularly with couples looking for single men.

In the same way couples and women rank men and pick and choose on that basis. The male unicorns do as well.

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By *irtyDaddyMan
over a year ago

dunmurry

It's not good. As a few men have said there it's a few wanna be wankers that spoil it for the genuine ones, a lot of the couples are as bad. I've ignored most of the couples on my profile now as I'm sick of being let down.

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By *ussle SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere.

With men on here you either get those who can't get meets or those who get loads

There doesn't really seem to be an in between

However there is always a stark and obvious difference between the two types of men and its very rarely looks/body wise "

Very good observation. (Clapping)

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

on our couple profile and this one my singles profile i only interact with guys who have play veris .. not cam not social not club (unless we know them from the club) amd it works all our meets are arranged within the week not long term chats and weeks of getting no where as they are always the biggest let downs ..

its accually not hard to find genuine guys whom we fancy and fit what we or i am looking for we cut no corners we stick to what we like no sympathy shags or oh you'll do .. when you find your way stick to it thats how the regulars become meaning less time looking...

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset


"There’s too many giving guys a bad name, I’ve had couples and ladies pull out of a meet with an hour to go and sometimes travelled miles to see them, it’s a game to some but just puts you off meeting going forward."

no guys give themselves a bad name they ruin it for themselves not others but other guys love to hide behind that and belive it tho stop blaming other for getting nowhere thats down to yourself nobody else ...

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By *uminsiderMKMan
over a year ago

St Austell


"I personally lose interest if it seems whomever in chatting with is not really in the conversation fully , and that I'm just getting a few breadcrumbs to keep me onside while they do the same with others. If they're not engaged in the conversation ,well, my time is limited like everyone elses so I'm not going to waste it ."

The usual indicator is when sent messages comprising a few sentences or a few paragraphs ever only receive a few words each time in reply...

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By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

I would imagine they are chatting to a few people at once, and they will go with the people who's availability/attractiveness/interests are their idea of perfect.

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By *ootprints1629Couple
over a year ago

somewhere in moray

Look at it this way, you mentioned a "young" black guy, who possibly hasn't had much experience of swinging, who possibly hasn't ever had a 3sum, who possibly has never had sex with one person older than him never mind having two people there who are naturally comfortable with each other, he is potentially walking into something very new to him, I'm Guessing your both pretty experienced swingers? If that's the case then that will shine through in how you chat to them, you are maybe to experienced for this "young" chap and he has decided that he might not be able to offer you what you want, he is walking In to a relationship/marriage,I imagine for any man regardless of age, ethnic background, sexuality that it can be very daunting if he has not had that much if any with a couple, these people are entitled to leave a conversation half way through if they decide your not for him, just like you are entitled to the same thing. It doesn't mean they are wasting your time..probably doing you favour in the long run by arranging a meet and just not turning up, black guys/any guys are not just here to carry out other people's fantasy, they are human with their own wants and desires to.

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By *otwife and Him OP   Couple
over a year ago

northstowe

We only choose guy's with verifications and not just one. We don't actually 'swing' as a couple, it's more a 3 some scenario We go for, we choose young black guy's for the contrast in colours, also they seem on the whole to be more respectful of older women.

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

He probably had his wank then got scared sadly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe he's found someone that's more his 'type'.

I've found a lot of couples on here very pushy and self righteous with this attitude that you are there to satisfy them regardless of your own particular needs. When you start to chat about them they disappear .. well because there is so many single blokes they can move on to the next one who maybe has a use abuse kink or willing to ignite their needs just to get their hole .. lol

Standards ..

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By *ussy licker99Man
over a year ago

smethwick

I would definitely turn up if invited, however I'm usually a 2 minute man but I do enjoy foreplay

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

I would imagine they are chatting to a few people at once, and they will go with the people who's availability/attractiveness/interests are their idea of perfect."

The oft-overlooked fact that single guys in Fab have options too……

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By *rivervaderMan
over a year ago

bolton

It also happens the other way couples lead you on then you go and meet followed by a text saying nice try loser.

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By *ikesEmBigMan
over a year ago

Herts


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

Perhaps you're not attractive to them. There's a strange thinking on this site with couples who think just because they're a couple they get any cock they like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

Perhaps you're not attractive to them. There's a strange thinking on this site with couples who think just because they're a couple they get any cock they like"

The entitlement in OP’s post is astounding!

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By *stwo80Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

Could it be that on further examination of your messages and pics/vids that there isn't the attraction for them ?

Surely it's their/his choice ?

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

I think many forget that men have a choice too. I do.

I have done the fuck and go, years ago, now I prefer to make a connection and long term 'friends'.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

Perhaps you're not attractive to them. There's a strange thinking on this site with couples who think just because they're a couple they get any cock they like"

But why bother chatting of they weren't interested? Surely they saw photos of them on their profile which prompted them to chat? For me, the main reasons why I would change my mind is the last of genuine interest or they say something that was really off putting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think many forget that men have a choice too. I do.

I have done the fuck and go, years ago, now I prefer to make a connection and long term 'friends'."

I agree here, it can be down to age,life experience ..... maturity

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

Perhaps you're not attractive to them. There's a strange thinking on this site with couples who think just because they're a couple they get any cock they like

But why bother chatting of they weren't interested? Surely they saw photos of them on their profile which prompted them to chat? For me, the main reasons why I would change my mind is the last of genuine interest or they say something that was really off putting."

Attraction isn’t just physical though. I’ve often chatted to a hot looking guy and he’s totally turned me off, meaning I’m no longer attracted.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?

Perhaps you're not attractive to them. There's a strange thinking on this site with couples who think just because they're a couple they get any cock they like"

Hear here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere.

With men on here you either get those who can't get meets or those who get loads

There doesn't really seem to be an in between

However there is always a stark and obvious difference between the two types of men and its very rarely looks/body wise

I think good veris and personal recommendations go a long way. The reality is that couples and ladies do talk and if they have had a good meet with someone reliable then they will probably mention that, at some point, to someone else. If that person is looking at some future date then they may well reach out."

We have good veris!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Speaking as a single guy it’s worth noting that this happens in the reverse too

I’ve had several positive chats with couples who then disappear

Even to the point of arranging to meet

Driving to the supplies post code and then being ghosted

And for those about to suggest these are single guy fantasists pretending to be a couple - they had multiple verifications

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By *eandmrsjones69Couple
over a year ago

Middle England


"We only choose guy's with verifications and not just one. We don't actually 'swing' as a couple, it's more a 3 some scenario We go for, we choose young black guy's for the contrast in colours, also they seem on the whole to be more respectful of older women. "

It may not be exactly what you're looking for but why not try a BMFC or Dark Desires type of club event. You'd more than likely find a guy to play with as a 3 some and don't have the let down of someone not turning up. Just a thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think the site has a skewed power balance but it is not as skewed as many couples/forumites seem to think it is. For a lot of blokes they will probably never get a meet and so the couples are in charge. There are a group of blokes, however, who can get meets and in those cases it is not as clear where the balance lies. The blokes you probably want to meet do have choice and if you treat them poorly then they will go elsewhere.

With men on here you either get those who can't get meets or those who get loads

There doesn't really seem to be an in between

However there is always a stark and obvious difference between the two types of men and its very rarely looks/body wise "

Exactly there's a world of difference between a genuine single male swinger who understands, embraces and is a credit to the scene. Compared to the fantasists, fancy a fuck chancers who's mate said get to fab it's full of free pussy.

Time wasting applies to those who have made arrangements to meet you turn up and they are a no show and fail to respond to messages.

KJ

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By *m3232Man
over a year ago

maidenhead

Sometimes it can also come down to how you interact with them.

Very easy to take it the wrong way or even the right way as some can come across as arrogant or aggressive in the way they write replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That swing and pole looks fun but you lost me a bareback

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never as I can often judge who will and who won't

I hope this helps all. Best to chose someone that is close by, daily travel distance, make it their place so you go there but the downside is the place may not be your cup of tea.

I can often tell if the bloke has OH as they won't accommodate but bang on about hotels/etc/etc

Single guys galore here but many more cheats, IMO, lol.

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood


"Fantasists and internet wankers I'm afraid .... when push comes to shove they bottle it!! "

This

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's suprising how many women and couples I hear of that fall for it though...and the genuine ones get overlooked

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There's not really much I can add that hasn't already been said apart from picking up on the fact you said they don't follow up after a few hours.

If you'd said days or weeks you might have something to complain about.

I haven't sent a first contact message on here since the beginning of 2020 so every single conversation since has been initiated by others.

90% of messages I receive from couples are written by the woman and some of those respectful conversations used to carry on over a period of days or weeks and then end suddenly when the male half got involved with demands, instructions or a "put up or fuck off" attitude.

The remaining 10% never get beyond the introductory demand for facepics or phonenumber and instructions to shave my beard off, be somewhere at a particular time or to stop pretending to be straight and play bi.

These were all very well verified couples with 100+ verifications so obviously this approach works for them.

I couldn't tell you the last time I chatted to a couple on here because of the level of entitlement.

The forums are overrun with threads about the quality of messages that guys send and their level of expectation or threads about how we should all give advice to single guys and help them on their journey.

I'm tempted to start one offering advice to single women and couples on how they should approach others.

It's not really that difficult to speak to people as equals rather than aiming your messages to the cock or the pussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a similarly frustrating thing to this, we’ve just had another fantasist message us, quickly asking for pic swap. We provide some pics but their response doesn’t have their pics attached, only more requests and excuses. We politely ask again but yet more excuses leading to the obligatory “i’m married so need to be discreet”.

Our block list grows ever bigger!

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By *lenforfunMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/gilberdyke/brough/howden/Beverly e.yorks

[Removed by poster at 23/10/22 07:53:29]

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By *lenforfunMan
over a year ago

Wakefield/gilberdyke/brough/howden/Beverly e.yorks

It's such a shame it this happens it gives us genuine guys less chance of getting meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's suprising how many women and couples I hear of that fall for it though...and the genuine ones get overlooked"

Sorry but this is just an excuse! Quality men will always do well on here. Good profile good messaging approach, will always get them meets.

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

We're having the same issue with even getting a social tbh. In our opinion first meeting is for a social to see if there is any sparks there as if there's no attraction there's no point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soo many guys on here drop out of group scenarios. There's always a back up needed haha x

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

No, we’ve never had a problem with young (black) guys joining us for fun. Whether it’s after chatting for a while, or putting up a on the spot meet.

If it’s happening a lot to you, then perhaps look at your approach. We can be quite picky and don’t engage in any sex chat until we meet.

J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We only choose guy's with verifications and not just one. We don't actually 'swing' as a couple, it's more a 3 some scenario We go for, we choose young black guy's for the contrast in colours, also they seem on the whole to be more respectful of older women. "

Maybe they don’t want to be seen as a “contrast of colours” I certainly wouldn’t want to be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We only choose guy's with verifications and not just one. We don't actually 'swing' as a couple, it's more a 3 some scenario We go for, we choose young black guy's for the contrast in colours, also they seem on the whole to be more respectful of older women.

Maybe they don’t want to be seen as a “contrast of colours” I certainly wouldn’t want to be."

Race fetishisation at its finest!

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

We had this off several guys last night. Seems quite common on here these days.

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"We only choose guy's with verifications and not just one. We don't actually 'swing' as a couple, it's more a 3 some scenario We go for, we choose young black guy's for the contrast in colours, also they seem on the whole to be more respectful of older women.

Maybe they don’t want to be seen as a “contrast of colours” I certainly wouldn’t want to be.

Race fetishisation at its finest! "

Tut tut! It’s just their ‘preference’……

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this 100% some things never change

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We only choose guy's with verifications and not just one. We don't actually 'swing' as a couple, it's more a 3 some scenario We go for, we choose young black guy's for the contrast in colours, also they seem on the whole to be more respectful of older women.

Maybe they don’t want to be seen as a “contrast of colours” I certainly wouldn’t want to be.

Race fetishisation at its finest! "

It is exactly that

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By *eachcplCouple
over a year ago

blackpool/preston/normandy france

We have the problem time and again. Guys message and we have replied almost immediately then the guy never responds back. Indicative of them not being trusted to turn up

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By *agnar1980Man
over a year ago

Poole

In defence of single guys, it’s also women & couples that are time wasters too. I think the site is full of them!

I’ve had 2 couples & a few women waste my time. 1 even had me drive for a hour to a made up address! When i got there, the person didn’t have a clue!! They have since blocked me on here!! It’s a knock to the confidence, hence why I don’t meet with out chatting for a while now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have the problem time and again. Guys message and we have replied almost immediately then the guy never responds back. Indicative of them not being trusted to turn up"

Or indicative of them not liking your response or just changing their mind.

You realise single men have choices too?

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"We've been trying to get a young black guy to cum and join us in a threesome. They start off interested for a few hours then don't follow up.

After all they are getting to have sex with a woman free of guilt or need to date them etc.

Anyone else have this problem?"

Women do this to.me all the time to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have the problem time and again. Guys message and we have replied almost immediately then the guy never responds back. Indicative of them not being trusted to turn up"

They probably don’t like your response/ changed their mind.

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By *ichelinstar1Man
over a year ago

Peterborough & North West


"It's suprising how many women and couples I hear of that fall for it though...and the genuine ones get overlooked

Sorry but this is just an excuse! Quality men will always do well on here. Good profile good messaging approach, will always get them meets. "

I wholeheartedly agree. If I feel the initial conversation is lacking or dead, then I just say ‘no thanks’. For some, a simple fuck and go is what is needed which is fair enough

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By *ornywelsh2sumCouple
over a year ago

Neath valley.


"In defence of single guys, it’s also women & couples that are time wasters too. I think the site is full of them!

I’ve had 2 couples & a few women waste my time. 1 even had me drive for a hour to a made up address! When i got there, the person didn’t have a clue!! They have since blocked me on here!! It’s a knock to the confidence, hence why I don’t meet with out chatting for a while now. "

Yes agree its not just single guys. Cpls have let us down also.

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By *eepgliderMan
over a year ago

Chacewater

Then with friend (female) been amazed at how worthless some guys have been. It's incomprehensible - like in what parallel universe is that what he must think sex is. Don't feel puzzled that divorced, not in relationship, etc.

Manage expectations, keep trying until one proves good, don't invest effort or hope beyond what's earned, don't coax where they are not making an effort themselves, etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve never met down anyone and have been let down by couples more than anything.. it goes both ways

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not all of us bottle it

I have the inverse problem, actually getting to meet/chat

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By *odic69Man
over a year ago

london

[Removed by poster at 27/10/22 00:53:29]

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By *odic69Man
over a year ago

london


"It's suprising how many women and couples I hear of that fall for it though...and the genuine ones get overlooked"

That's so true

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By *odic69Man
over a year ago

london

This goes for anyone on here who has put up a advert. They are looking for the best offer that comes along, who wouldn't right. This could happen to either a couple, single man or woman.

I am sure they would leave something which is the better option for them and go with the ordinary. But with this should come with integrity. No one like to be messed about, do they. If I say I am going to meet someone, I would certainly do it.

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