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"Hi all, We are a genuine couple and dont think we look or sound too bad but we are struggling to meet anyone and are wondering if its us or just growing number of fakes. we have been on here a while and had a couple of meets but find we tend to make contact with a couple or girl, but after 3 or 4 messages, things cool off. We get that people have preferences but it starts all good and then suddenly quiet with no warning. It gets a bit disheartening. We arent into the club scene as Mrs isn't confident to do that yet but may with friends, so we want to make friends we can swing with or have a good social with. Are we just unlucky or anything wrong with our profile. Or do we just keep going. Any advice would be great. X" Can remember when we were newbies. We found the 121 route a nightmare, the first few meets almost put us off taking our swinging journey any further. We did venture into a club, terrified us but the excitment level went off the scale. We then noticed a social meet on a swingers site and popped along. The rest, as they say, is history. If we did it all again would probably go to a non dress down club first or a house party where you can stay dressed and just soak up the atmosphere. Enjoy the ride. | |||
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"Hi all, We are a genuine couple and dont think we look or sound too bad but we are struggling to meet anyone and are wondering if its us or just growing number of fakes. we have been on here a while and had a couple of meets but find we tend to make contact with a couple or girl, but after 3 or 4 messages, things cool off. We get that people have preferences but it starts all good and then suddenly quiet with no warning. It gets a bit disheartening. We arent into the club scene as Mrs isn't confident to do that yet but may with friends, so we want to make friends we can swing with or have a good social with. Are we just unlucky or anything wrong with our profile. Or do we just keep going. Any advice would be great. X" We have found this more and more recently (and we've been here years and met a lot of people). It's not that people are fake or not nterested as such but think lots of people struggle to commit to meeting and they are here for the chat in large part and meet occasionally. We have had so many conversations with ladies and couples in the last few months where all going well until we start to raise dates or ask them to and then things go quiet..... | |||
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"I think you also have to take into account a massive percentage of folks on here have not intention of meeting, so we circumnavigate this by going places that swingers attend. During or just after Covid it was a bit difficult to judge but now we use our rule of...been on FAB over 6 months, no actual face to face meets, probably not going to happen. " 100% this. We’ve had great convos with people, face pics shared, everything is going on great, so dates are arranged (we have to move heaven and earth for childcare), everyone is up for it…and then, nothing. It’s a real PITA. Agree with Holy Fuck Sticks, too. Try and arrange something at reasonably short notice, else some of the spark does fizzle out. | |||
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"The frustrating part is you read people's status they complain about what they are not getting. Or you read status looking for certain things etc. When you reply to them offering what they was complaining about still don't get a positive response so it's all very weird and contradictory sometimes " We get this all the time - if we ever mention about being stood up, a flood of messages from guys that say they'd have turned up. If we'd fancied them then we might have invited them! (Bry) | |||
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"Hi all, We are a genuine couple and dont think we look or sound too bad but we are struggling to meet anyone and are wondering if its us or just growing number of fakes. we have been on here a while and had a couple of meets but find we tend to make contact with a couple or girl, but after 3 or 4 messages, things cool off. We get that people have preferences but it starts all good and then suddenly quiet with no warning. It gets a bit disheartening. We arent into the club scene as Mrs isn't confident to do that yet but may with friends, so we want to make friends we can swing with or have a good social with. Are we just unlucky or anything wrong with our profile. Or do we just keep going. Any advice would be great. X" Could be a bit of both, as previous posters have mentioned. We tend to find most genuine people don’t initiate any sex chat during messages and we reserve this for socials. This seems to wheedle out any fakes, or dreamers. We’re also struggle finding the time to organise meets. So now we advertise an initial social meet with the view of playing, if all are happy. This has worked much better, than spending time organising a social and then having to organise another date for play. J | |||
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"The frustrating part is you read people's status they complain about what they are not getting. Or you read status looking for certain things etc. When you reply to them offering what they was complaining about still don't get a positive response so it's all very weird and contradictory sometimes We get this all the time - if we ever mention about being stood up, a flood of messages from guys that say they'd have turned up. If we'd fancied them then we might have invited them! (Bry)" I just find it very weird behaviour. I'm not a very outgoing person and shy in public so I don't visit clubs and events. I would be to nervous shy and even if I did pluck up courage to go I probably wouldn't do anything because again I would feel shy. I can't even piss in a urinal with someone in close proximity I get nervous. | |||
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"The frustrating part is you read people's status they complain about what they are not getting. Or you read status looking for certain things etc. When you reply to them offering what they was complaining about still don't get a positive response so it's all very weird and contradictory sometimes We get this all the time - if we ever mention about being stood up, a flood of messages from guys that say they'd have turned up. If we'd fancied them then we might have invited them! (Bry) I just find it very weird behaviour. I'm not a very outgoing person and shy in public so I don't visit clubs and events. I would be to nervous shy and even if I did pluck up courage to go I probably wouldn't do anything because again I would feel shy. I can't even piss in a urinal with someone in close proximity I get nervous. " Maybe, at this point in your life, the swinging scene is not for you. | |||
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"OP - one of the things I have found is that meets that tend to happen will happen quickly. The site has changed over the past few years with more people wanting to chat or “get to know you”. Those people, in my experience, rarely meet. Are you actively looking to meet or are you in a “chatting” mode? The first mode will get meets. The second will probably not." But you see a lot of profiles saying they can't meet straight away and need time to arrange etc. | |||
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"OP - one of the things I have found is that meets that tend to happen will happen quickly. The site has changed over the past few years with more people wanting to chat or “get to know you”. Those people, in my experience, rarely meet. Are you actively looking to meet or are you in a “chatting” mode? The first mode will get meets. The second will probably not. But you see a lot of profiles saying they can't meet straight away and need time to arrange etc." You can pretty much guarantee those profiles will not meet or will take a very long time to arrange something. | |||
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"OP - one of the things I have found is that meets that tend to happen will happen quickly. The site has changed over the past few years with more people wanting to chat or “get to know you”. Those people, in my experience, rarely meet. Are you actively looking to meet or are you in a “chatting” mode? The first mode will get meets. The second will probably not." Tbf - quite a wide reaching generalisation, we get 1 possibly 2 nights in the whole month to find people to play with due to commitments in the real world. As our time is incredibly valuable we do feel the need to get to know someone a little before arranging anything. In our younger child free days it would never have been an issue, but such is life. | |||
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"Nothing wrong with your profile at all! Great mixture of photos, decent info on your bio. We would definitely like to meet you guys What we have found is that if you set plans too far off then things naturally taper off as there’s only so many naughty texts you can send - building excitement is key for us. We don’t try to plan anything more than 3 weeks away. " I think this nails it pretty well. We don't meet all that often but love to chat online with new people. I think that sort of friendzones us as the sexy chat dies down fairly quick and we end up chatting about mortgages Some clubs have social-oriented events that may be a good half way for you. Townhouse has a pub quiz night that's really popular. The play areas are available but it's social focused. Maybe look for an event like that or a local organised social and pop along. It's much easier to make connections face to face | |||
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"OP - one of the things I have found is that meets that tend to happen will happen quickly. The site has changed over the past few years with more people wanting to chat or “get to know you”. Those people, in my experience, rarely meet. Are you actively looking to meet or are you in a “chatting” mode? The first mode will get meets. The second will probably not. Tbf - quite a wide reaching generalisation, we get 1 possibly 2 nights in the whole month to find people to play with due to commitments in the real world. As our time is incredibly valuable we do feel the need to get to know someone a little before arranging anything. In our younger child free days it would never have been an issue, but such is life. " You have basically made my point - life gets in the way and unless you know you can meet you probably won’t be able to. My observations are not a criticism of anyone - just a reflection that people who can meet will and those who can’t (for whatever reason) won’t. | |||
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"OP - one of the things I have found is that meets that tend to happen will happen quickly. The site has changed over the past few years with more people wanting to chat or “get to know you”. Those people, in my experience, rarely meet. Are you actively looking to meet or are you in a “chatting” mode? The first mode will get meets. The second will probably not." I found this… The more we chat, the more people we lose.. If I said I wanted a meet that night or the next day then we definitely had one | |||
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"OP - one of the things I have found is that meets that tend to happen will happen quickly. The site has changed over the past few years with more people wanting to chat or “get to know you”. Those people, in my experience, rarely meet. Are you actively looking to meet or are you in a “chatting” mode? The first mode will get meets. The second will probably not. Tbf - quite a wide reaching generalisation, we get 1 possibly 2 nights in the whole month to find people to play with due to commitments in the real world. As our time is incredibly valuable we do feel the need to get to know someone a little before arranging anything. In our younger child free days it would never have been an issue, but such is life. You have basically made my point - life gets in the way and unless you know you can meet you probably won’t be able to. My observations are not a criticism of anyone - just a reflection that people who can meet will and those who can’t (for whatever reason) won’t." But people that like to chat first do meet… I don’t understand what you’re getting at? Just because a lot of couples don’t message & meet on the same day (a lot do) doesn’t mean that they automatically waste people’s time if we initiate a conversation first, with a view for 7,10,14 days time. | |||
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" But people that like to chat first do meet… I don’t understand what you’re getting at? Just because a lot of couples don’t message & meet on the same day (a lot do) doesn’t mean that they automatically waste people’s time if we initiate a conversation first, with a view for 7,10,14 days time. " I am not saying people who chat don’t meet at all. Just that _my_ experience is that _I_ am much more likely to have a meet if it is arranged quickly. I have had meets that have happened that night and meets that have happened several weeks in the future - the commonality is usually that the meet time was arranged without prolonged messaging. | |||
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" But people that like to chat first do meet… I don’t understand what you’re getting at? Just because a lot of couples don’t message & meet on the same day (a lot do) doesn’t mean that they automatically waste people’s time if we initiate a conversation first, with a view for 7,10,14 days time. I am not saying people who chat don’t meet at all. Just that _my_ experience is that _I_ am much more likely to have a meet if it is arranged quickly. I have had meets that have happened that night and meets that have happened several weeks in the future - the commonality is usually that the meet time was arranged without prolonged messaging. " | |||
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"OP - one of the things I have found is that meets that tend to happen will happen quickly. The site has changed over the past few years with more people wanting to chat or “get to know you”. Those people, in my experience, rarely meet. Are you actively looking to meet or are you in a “chatting” mode? The first mode will get meets. The second will probably not. I found this… The more we chat, the more people we lose.. If I said I wanted a meet that night or the next day then we definitely had one " In our experience, the more chat and email exchange the less likely a meet will take place. Outside of parties, clubs and swingers holidays we only meet initially for a drink and chat, can't be bothered with any back pedalling if we don't gel. This site, like some others has become a mainstream social media platform with a dose of titillation, bit like a Facebook group but the ability to show your tits. | |||
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" In our experience, the more chat and email exchange the less likely a meet will take place. " We've found this as well. Also the more chat there is about "what's going to happen" the more likely it is that nothing will. | |||
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"From your profile it seems you are looking for soft swap or an ffm. Probably the hardest and second hardest things to find on here for a couple. It's just the way it is." *hides in soft swap* | |||
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"From your profile it seems you are looking for soft swap or an ffm. Probably the hardest and second hardest things to find on here for a couple. It's just the way it is. *hides in soft swap* " Found attending clubs and parties we tend to find what we are looking for and happy to full swap if we gel. FFM again tends to be with couples we have met previously and rearrange to meet with me (Liz) as one of the FFM and then return the meet with the other guy's wife/partner joining Paul and I. It's almost impossible to arrange from a site, much easier from a previous meet. As long as everyone is open and honest and not afraid to ask, it can only be a yes or no. | |||
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" In our experience, the more chat and email exchange the less likely a meet will take place. We've found this as well. Also the more chat there is about "what's going to happen" the more likely it is that nothing will." This ^ | |||
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"OP....if you weren't so far away, we'd meet you We find similar with conversations drying up. We have diary issues and have to work around Char's health so we have to book ahead but I also only know my work shifts three weeks in advance. It gives us a constantly shifting few week window to get things in. Think the biggest issue is with couples where we start off talking to the guy and it then dries up when either (a) he gets his partner to look and she doesn't fancy us, or realises that we don't full swap or (b) he never had a partner and has found someone else to feed the wank bank. (Bry)" I think A is a really good point. I respond to all first messages on here and most of the time the Mrs is doesn't fancy one or both of them. | |||
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"Hi all, We are a genuine couple and dont think we look or sound too bad but we are struggling to meet anyone and are wondering if its us or just growing number of fakes. we have been on here a while and had a couple of meets but find we tend to make contact with a couple or girl, but after 3 or 4 messages, things cool off. We get that people have preferences but it starts all good and then suddenly quiet with no warning. It gets a bit disheartening. We arent into the club scene as Mrs isn't confident to do that yet but may with friends, so we want to make friends we can swing with or have a good social with. Are we just unlucky or anything wrong with our profile. Or do we just keep going. Any advice would be great. X" Sometimes it is harder for couples than singles. 2 singles have to fancy each other. With 2 couples the man may fancy the other woman but his wife/partner may not fancy the other man and vice versa. | |||
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"Are you actively looking to meet or are you in a “chatting” mode? The first mode will get meets. The second will probably not." This ^^^ "We tend to set aside a date in the diary for a play date and then start messaging and arrange a couple of socials for a few days before. We have some people that we touch base with from time to time but planning anything weeks in advance doesn’t really work we’ve found." And this! OP, you have a heavy schedule because of family obligations, so you need to be the ones choosing the date/time for meets. Leaf through your diary and see which dates, weekends, whatever, could work for you to be free for even a social. Contact the people you like that you're in communication suggesting these dates. You may be pleasantly surprised at people actually wanting to meet with you. Putting a date in the diary is something people can aim for, it gives focus to the chats (we've mostly done long turnarounds and it works ok, needs must). Personally we have enjoyed having a long & lovely conversation with you But I'm gonna give you the same advice I gave you the previous time you posted this question in the forums - be truthful&realistic about how available you really are for meeting up; and be more proactive about arranging the meet you want. Good luck! | |||
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