FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

Advice

Jump to newest
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks

Hello all

This is not a pity post they is enough of them on here

So I read in detail the profiles people who I like and send a nice message ie hi how are you? "I like the profile I see your in to xyz like me would you like to arrange a meet some time see where it goes no pressure"

Then I get ignored or blocked I was messaging a lady all going well then blocked

So my question is socials I see on here if you want to meet people go to a social

So I post anyone fancy meeting up for a drink and again nothing at all

Is it just my profile putting people off or my age

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suggesting a meet in the very first message would be a turn off for me. Sorry!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

We'd not reply.

Very poor first photo.

The last sentence of your bio sounds like you have the upper hand and are a bit cocky.

The cock picture looks like it was done in a understairs cupboard.

Get some well lit photos and remove that last line if your bio.

Starting a message asking to meet is not great unless the person is specifically looking for that based on their current status etc.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Try using the forum search for the many others that ask why they cannot get meets

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why would it be your age. You’re 39!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Suggesting a meet in the very first message would be a turn off for me. Sorry!"

Yes I agree with this

I wouldn't want to meet someone I've never spoken to or seen face pics of .I tend to delete any 1st message that asks to meet or if I'm free.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Anyway ladies, remember a bad profile is our best filter on here.

Anyone that doesn't know how to interact nicely as a swinger doesn't deserve a meet in my own opinion

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Remember OP low effort = low reward!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks

Even for a social?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Even for a social? "

Yes, Who would go for a social with a profile as dull as most of the others that end up in their inbox?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks

Even for a social?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields


"Even for a social? "

Your status doesn't imply you care about a social.

Regardless, there is nothing at all on your profile to make someone pick you. Just search for guys in your area and do some market research. Look for verified guys etc. Get an idea of the effort required.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Did someone tell you this was a site full of women gagging for it and all you have to do is message them?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks

Last line now removed it was only because I have multiple time drive miles for a meet for the person/couple to go off line or block

Pics are not great I know but I'm not happy with my lock down pou ds I've added x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks

No of course not I'm not just here for sex friendship would be a start

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks

Hi I've updated it a few times based on advise I'm better at talking rather than selling myself I get on well with ladies and couples at nudist spas ect

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks

Not very nice I'm far from dull sorry x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

Who are you talking to?

(reply + quote)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks

OK

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Even for a social? "

Op your status doesn't imply you're after socials ,if you're happy to have them update your profile.you have to make people want to meet you,what can you offer etc.

Look for group socials to get to meet others etc

Good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Not very nice I'm far from dull sorry x "

If that's to me you read it wrong. I said the profile is

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Who are you talking to?

(reply + quote)"

Sorry if I offended you genuinely I'm not that type of person sorry x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Even for a social?

Op your status doesn't imply you're after socials ,if you're happy to have them update your profile.you have to make people want to meet you,what can you offer etc.

Look for group socials to get to meet others etc

Good luck"

Thanks hun x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields


"

Pics are not great I know but I'm not happy with my lock down pou ds I've added x "

So what... If you get a bite you're going on a crash diet? You've basically just admitted to false advertising.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Why would it be your age. You’re 39!"

Feel old lol I see all the guys in there 20s/30s with gym bods and big tools and you know before I broke my leg I done MMA I was like that

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Who are you talking to?

(reply + quote)

Sorry if I offended you genuinely I'm not that type of person sorry x"

It takes more than that to offend me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are...."

I do try but even when. I look at interests and engage a message nothing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"

Pics are not great I know but I'm not happy with my lock down pou ds I've added x

So what... If you get a bite you're going on a crash diet? You've basically just admitted to false advertising.

No I've put in my bio I'm chubby I'm not like big just not personally happy with how I am not to how I was 2 year ago I go gym daily now getting back in shape

"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

How can you expect anyone else to be happy with you if you're not happy with yourself.

Focus on yourself and come back when you're happy with yourself and then you'll come across so much better.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"Hello all

This is not a pity post they is enough of them on here

So I read in detail the profiles people who I like and send a nice message ie hi how are you? "I like the profile I see your in to xyz like me would you like to arrange a meet some time see where it goes no pressure"

Then I get ignored or blocked I was messaging a lady all going well then blocked

So my question is socials I see on here if you want to meet people go to a social

So I post anyone fancy meeting up for a drink and again nothing at all

Is it just my profile putting people off or my age "

I suspect a combination of profile, status, and approach is to blame.

I doubt age isn’t a specific factor. There are a range of ages here, and as long as you’re being realistic (not aiming solely for the “19 year old single woman who is here to meet men” market), then you should find you’ll be within someone’s range.

Your profile is nothing special, though. That’s fine. Neither is mine. But I’m not expecting to get any “meets” out of it.

If you’re after women, you’re on the wrong end of market forces, I’m afraid. There is a lot more supply than demand.

As for “socials”. I think people will be suggesting organised group socials. Safety in numbers, etc. See it as an opportunity to let your charm shine. Go onto your local board. On the front page of the London board I counted at least six socials being advertised. Go there, meet, drink (not too much) and be merry.

If you send a message to someone you’ve never met asking for a meet (even a “social”), they’re likely going to wonder why you’re interested in them having never spoken to them, probably never seen their face, and never interacted.

If you write asking for a “social meet” with no pressure, while having a status telling them how many days since your last orgasm, they might be tempted to think you’re telling them porky pies. You’ve probably got better odds finding someone who just wants to meet for casual sex.

Your “opener” is bland cut and paste too. People aren’t expecting war and peace, but if you want to stand out, then you need to be something different - whether that’s a buff body, huge cock, or (as in my case, when you have neither) something else. Put even a little effort into it to show you’ve read their profile, and that you’re not just pasting the same message you send to everyone who ticks the right boxes.

Your profile doesn’t say much about you. I assume everyone in Greater London is cheeky to some extent. You may go with the flow, but this gives zero insight into your personality. Why would someone want to spend time having a drink with you based on knowing nothing about you other than your love of water sports, lack of recent orgasms, and ‘cozy’ pube situation.

And all joking aside about watersports. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so to speak. You’re narrowing your dating pool (no pun intended) further by having that on. Fine if that’s a “must” for you, but if you aren’t absolutely desperate for some pee play, maybe take it off (else all the nice ladies you could be meeting might worry you’ll pee on their good bedlinen).

Similarly not everyone likes bi guys. Can’t understand it myself, we’re usually exceptional lovers, but hey, I don’t like ketchup, and some people rave about it. You’re never going to change the underlying reasons behind that (I’m not going to start another biphobia thread, worry not), but you should be aware of it as something that will also stack the odds against you.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are....

I do try but even when. I look at interests and engage a message nothing "

Then it could be that you are making the effort, but not with the correct people who fits around their criteria. Don't give up and don't let it effect you mentally everyone is entitled to a choice....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss KinkWoman
over a year ago

North West

Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Hello all

This is not a pity post they is enough of them on here

So I read in detail the profiles people who I like and send a nice message ie hi how are you? "I like the profile I see your in to xyz like me would you like to arrange a meet some time see where it goes no pressure"

Then I get ignored or blocked I was messaging a lady all going well then blocked

So my question is socials I see on here if you want to meet people go to a social

So I post anyone fancy meeting up for a drink and again nothing at all

Is it just my profile putting people off or my age

I suspect a combination of profile, status, and approach is to blame.

I doubt age isn’t a specific factor. There are a range of ages here, and as long as you’re being realistic (not aiming solely for the “19 year old single woman who is here to meet men” market), then you should find you’ll be within someone’s range.

Your profile is nothing special, though. That’s fine. Neither is mine. But I’m not expecting to get any “meets” out of it.

If you’re after women, you’re on the wrong end of market forces, I’m afraid. There is a lot more supply than demand.

As for “socials”. I think people will be suggesting organised group socials. Safety in numbers, etc. See it as an opportunity to let your charm shine. Go onto your local board. On the front page of the London board I counted at least six socials being advertised. Go there, meet, drink (not too much) and be merry.

If you send a message to someone you’ve never met asking for a meet (even a “social”), they’re likely going to wonder why you’re interested in them having never spoken to them, probably never seen their face, and never interacted.

If you write asking for a “social meet” with no pressure, while having a status telling them how many days since your last orgasm, they might be tempted to think you’re telling them porky pies. You’ve probably got better odds finding someone who just wants to meet for casual sex.

Your “opener” is bland cut and paste too. People aren’t expecting war and peace, but if you want to stand out, then you need to be something different - whether that’s a buff body, huge cock, or (as in my case, when you have neither) something else. Put even a little effort into it to show you’ve read their profile, and that you’re not just pasting the same message you send to everyone who ticks the right boxes.

Your profile doesn’t say much about you. I assume everyone in Greater London is cheeky to some extent. You may go with the flow, but this gives zero insight into your personality. Why would someone want to spend time having a drink with you based on knowing nothing about you other than your love of water sports, lack of recent orgasms, and ‘cozy’ pube situation.

And all joking aside about watersports. It’s not everyone’s cup of tea, so to speak. You’re narrowing your dating pool (no pun intended) further by having that on. Fine if that’s a “must” for you, but if you aren’t absolutely desperate for some pee play, maybe take it off (else all the nice ladies you could be meeting might worry you’ll pee on their good bedlinen).

Similarly not everyone likes bi guys. Can’t understand it myself, we’re usually exceptional lovers, but hey, I don’t like ketchup, and some people rave about it. You’re never going to change the underlying reasons behind that (I’m not going to start another biphobia thread, worry not), but you should be aware of it as something that will also stack the odds against you.

"

Thanks that's actually very good advice

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched?"

Not attached I flat share with a work mate

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are....

I do try but even when. I look at interests and engage a message nothing

Then it could be that you are making the effort, but not with the correct people who fits around their criteria. Don't give up and don't let it effect you mentally everyone is entitled to a choice...."

Thanks

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ackandtheunicornCouple
over a year ago

liverpool

There's nothing interesting on your profile. Pictures are poor at best and your status is bad. Saying you having cum in so long isn't attractive.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Try an interesting conversation remember we are human beings then if the conversation leads further take further steps. Rushing to meet without having any kind of chemistry is like only interested in the person purely just for sex like that's all they are....

I do try but even when. I look at interests and engage a message nothing

Then it could be that you are making the effort, but not with the correct people who fits around their criteria. Don't give up and don't let it effect you mentally everyone is entitled to a choice....

Thanks "

Try going to one of the club's, when they hold social events you never know and nothing to lose but it could be a great starting point...

Good luck pal

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Remember OP low effort = low reward!"

I've updated my profile added a bit of me in there

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter


"Suggesting a meet in the very first message would be a turn off for me. Sorry!"

Couldn't agree more. It's shocking that so many do it then moan they that they don't get a reply.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle


"Suggesting a meet in the very first message would be a turn off for me. Sorry!

Couldn't agree more. It's shocking that so many do it then moan they that they don't get a reply."

It maybe annoying but same time this is a forum where someone who is struggling to engage so any helpful advice helps we might not all had this struggle but it being kind assisting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I reported a member recently,but he's proved himself this evening as a gent. But we can't become friends on here, please help!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Remember OP low effort = low reward!

I've updated my profile added a bit of me in there "

You’ll still need better photos IMO! Full body pics would be a good start. And if you need a cock pic I’d take a better one.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

Your name is Funtime but your profile pic looks like you're at a funeral !

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Remember OP low effort = low reward!

I've updated my profile added a bit of me in there

You’ll still need better photos IMO! Full body pics would be a good start. And if you need a cock pic I’d take a better one. "

Ive got a better camera now I'll add some more you mean dressed full body?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Your name is Funtime but your profile pic looks like you're at a funeral !"

I know right lol I a was going to work I'm in the city we have to dress the full hog lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London


"Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched?

Not attached I flat share with a work mate "

Does he not allow you to have sex with people in your room?!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *untime40 OP   Man
over a year ago

Currently in Sevenoaks


"Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched?

Not attached I flat share with a work mate

Does he not allow you to have sex with people in your room?! "

We both work for a professional company where its a bit back stabbing going on if someone (even a work mate) has something on you they will use it works work they don't need to k ow what I do on here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London


"Your profile and photos are full and your status is off putting. Also are you attatched?

Not attached I flat share with a work mate

Does he not allow you to have sex with people in your room?!

We both work for a professional company where its a bit back stabbing going on if someone (even a work mate) has something on you they will use it works work they don't need to k ow what I do on here "

Isn’t every company by definition “professional”?

You don’t need to say you met someone off fab (as if that’s a bad thing) - seems a bit of a cop out for a grown man to me…

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top