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"Possibly could be thinking too much into it and he was trying to be respectful since your other half couldn’t answer at that point in time. Your feelings are valid though and it’s nice to see you seem to have a lot of respect for your other half!" Thank you. I think this is what I wanted to hear, he was clearly very dominant and I suspect that he probably behaved how he'd want to be treated. If they have such a relationship that he does or can make those decisions then his behaviour is perfectly reasonable. Thanks. | |||
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"Thanks. How would you feel if the male of another couple asked your male if he was allowed to touch you? Basically a guy asked me if he could play with my partners breasts and it really annoyed me that he thought I had the right to dictate what another man could do to her. I then found out he was very dominant in his relationship and it made me wonder if he actually was trying to be very respectful by seeking (presumably in his eyes) the dominant's approval. I just told him to ask her permission. But it's opened up a whole world of thoughts and questions in my head about this. " He assumed your dynamic was the same as theirs. Rookie error | |||
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" He assumed your dynamic was the same as theirs. Rookie error" Yes most likely, and if in that dynamic, that approach is reasonable and accepted then I have no concerns over what happened. Thanks | |||
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"I'm the Sub in our relationship but Eros would never dream of speaking for me or giving consent to my body on my behalf. He would tell the person to ask me themselves. Pxx " So you would someone asking him, rather than you, make you "judge" that person? Ie make you think its someone who would not play with. For what it's worth, she didn't play with him, partly because of that attitude. | |||
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"I'm the Sub in our relationship but Eros would never dream of speaking for me or giving consent to my body on my behalf. He would tell the person to ask me themselves. Pxx So you would someone asking him, rather than you, make you "judge" that person? Ie make you think its someone who would not play with. For what it's worth, she didn't play with him, partly because of that attitude. " Definitely! I wouldn't go near anyone that thought they could talk over me like that or that anyone else could speak for me. Pxx | |||
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"Consent and communication are key. The rules of engagement should be decided beforehand. Personally I DON'T want to be asked. It turns me on to be spoken about like an object and completely objectified, offered for groping, ordered to perform. For example my Dom talking about me with a bloke "yeah she's been on hormones. Yeah mate go ahead have a fondle" and this total stranger starts squeezing my tits and Arse, "slip a finger up her And feel it" spoken about like a piece of meat. And ordered "on your knees, that's a good girl now suck and show the man what you can do" But this is ALWAYS after a discussion about it and he knows what I am happy and not happy to do and always have a safe word. It turns me on to be offered up to strangers. But if you don't like that or want input just say it. Being a sub doesn't mean you accept everything. You have to discuss boundaries. " I totally understand that, and our relationship is similar. My Mrs owns me and if she wanted me to suck someone's dick, it would definitely not be a question, and she's more than welcome to discuss things with other guys without my involvement. That however isn't the scenario here. This is another dominant expecting to talk to the male by default. I should be clear, my Mrs is dominant, we'd already told this couple that I was sub, yet he still asked me. | |||
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"We may have slightly different slant on this. If Debs is wearing her padlock* then it's up to me. * See https://m.fabswingers.com/forum/stories/1047020" That's very hot. However in my situation there was no sign she was submissive, in fact we'd about 10 seconds earlier been saying how I (male) was submissive to her and that she decides what happens. | |||
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"I should be clear, my Mrs is dominant, we'd already told this couple that I was sub, yet he still asked me. " He should have known better. By default you should generally address the dominant partner. | |||
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