FabSwingers.com forum: Club etiquette

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi fellow Fabbers

I’m thinking of taking the plunge and going to a club.

What’s the etiquette, are there any general rules. Obviously not being an obnoxious tw@ is paramount

Any tips or advice welcome

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Most of club etiquette is common sense.

Don't waddle around wanking and after women and couples.

No means no.

Don't pounce on the female half of a couple when left alone.

Don't blank the male half of a couple.

Don't get too pissed.

Always go without expectations.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

No means no.

I'd add that a couple (or single) being friendly doesn't mean "yes" either.

It's got to the point where we often don't engage in conversation with single guys we know we wouldn't play with. Ie, out of our age range, attraction etc.

We have had an situation where we chatted to a guy and then ended up playing with someone else and he basically took the huff and hung around us most of the night in an annoying way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most of club etiquette is common sense.

Don't waddle around wanking and after women and couples.

No means no.

Don't pounce on the female half of a couple when left alone.

Don't blank the male half of a couple.

Don't get too pissed.

Always go without expectations."

Just to add, Don't pounce on any part of a couple when they are alone. Happened to us this weekend at a club and I was stuck in a very uncomfortable situation waiting for my husband to come back.

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By *oxy babeWoman
over a year ago

gower

There is a post on the wales forum offering advice for single guys thinking of attending clubs

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By *uckslut and MCouple
over a year ago

Poole

Our last vlub visit, we got a single bloke removed as he was paralectic.

Time before, we got a bloke banned, as he bear hugged and grabbed me sexually from behind. Within 5 mins of us getting through the door. I was fully dressed, never even spoken to this chap before.

Just use your common sense! Speak up and let club deal with problem people.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

Just be a normal human being, act as you would in any other bar/club situation

Don't presume anything, ask before touching etc

Go expecting nothing but hopefully you'll atleast get the opportunity for a bit of voyeurism, many couples are happy to be watched so will go in a room with a window or a stable door (bottom half is shut to stop people entering but the top half is open for people to view)

Most single guys I've chatted to have said they've had to attend the same venue 4/5 times prettty much week after week before they felt comfortable and before they felt people were comfortable around them, recognised them, said hello to him before he said hi to them etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you let the club staff know it's your first time there they will usually offer to give you a tour.

Every time I went to a specific club for the first time they showed me around and told me which areas were dress down, which were couples only etc.

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By *iss DevilWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

Don't leave your power of speech outside the club! Mutes don't do very well in a club environment.

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

Some great advice here!

It's easy to get scared off going as a single guy. They get a bad reputation thanks to behaviour of some.

Most clubs have a bar or socialising area of some sort. For your first visit, set up camp there for the first hour or so. Have a drink, look around, SMILE and generally look approachable.

Try and make any opening conversations non-sexual to begin with. Easy ice breakers are to ask what other clubs people have visited and what they like about this one. Tell them it's your first time and ask their advice on club life.

Most important is to read the situation. Short, closed answers are pretty much a 'leave me alone'. Wind things up with an 'I'm off to look around, maybe see you later'. It leaves them with space to make a judgement on you and shows you're not pushy.

Ultimately, treat it like any other bar visit and don't expect anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to add, Don't pounce on any part of a couple when they are alone. Happened to us this weekend at a club and I was stuck in a very uncomfortable situation waiting for my husband to come back. "

That’s my worry, if I go to loo and Mrs is left alone, do they get jumped on (not literally)

Also, Mrs is a dancer, I’m not really into dancing, so the men try it on then?

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

That’s my worry, if I go to loo and Mrs is left alone, do they get jumped on (not literally)

Also, Mrs is a dancer, I’m not really into dancing, so the men try it on then? "

It happens when you go to the loo, but in some ways it's not all bad. It's a good way to instantly exclude people! If that same guy approached both of you, it'd take much longer to realise he's a dick!

I think the dancing thing you need to be careful with, it would be very easy to appear like a jealous partner. But I've no experience of that scenario as neither of us can dance!

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By *andystick72Man
over a year ago

kinky Street

Talking to couples including the guy,, having a laugh,, and don't just stare at her tits lol and when they ask you to join them enjoy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go enjoy with no expectations if you do get the offer to play or ask could you join in v important to ask other people firstly it's a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make eye contact and be prepared to make the first move

Believe it or not some couples may be more nervous and shy than you feel!

Make sure she knows you fancy her and that you think she’s hot with some positive (not creepy) compliments. Chat with the guy but you’re not his best mate she should be the main focus.

On a night when single guys are invited to clubs the couples that attend aren’t usually there by accident.

Have fun and good luck.

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

I'd add,

Ask or listen to what they are looking for, and be prepared to hear something you don't like.

We only play with bi guys, but the amount of guys who hang around after saying they aren't bi is creepy, clearly hoping they can just play with her.

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By *oul BrothaMan
over a year ago

A Galaxy far far away

Some good advice already. Just be normal, respectful and read the room. Don't overstay your welcome but make it clear if you're interested in anyone by complimenting them, don't be creepy and go in with no expectations.

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

"I'd add,

Ask or listen to what they are looking for, and be prepared to hear something you don't like.

We only play with bi guys, but the amount of guys who hang around after saying they aren't bi is creepy, clearly hoping they can just play with her.

That is really good advice

I don't think anyone has ever asked me in a club what I'm looking for

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By *inkForLifeCouple
over a year ago

North Shields

I don't think anyone has ever asked me in a club what I'm looking for "

We get asked but seemingly ignored often.

Conversation on more than one occasion

Guy: what are you looking for

Us (her): bi guys for him to suck your cock

Guy: ah I'm not bi.

(insert random delay)

Guy to her: So are you interested in playing?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all so very much

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By *rmrsfilthbagsCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

This is some really good advice.. we’re goin to a club for the first time in oct n we’re both nervous and excited

but this thread as helped us.. jam

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

My advice be don't be like the wanking dead, talk to females or couples like we all civilised adults who developed some form of communication skills instead of just going up to people " do you want to fuck?" Or whipping your cock out over someone fucking without asking permission

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Get to meet as many people at the start of the night so best turn up when doors are open.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Go frequently, to increase your sense of relaxation, as well as getting to know the place well. And to be known by others. Less is often more - you'll not be known as looking desperate, if you make shorter trips and are upbeat.

The more you think of it as somewhere like a bar/pub, that has other features, the more relaxed and approachable you may seem.

Never stare at anyone.

The rest of the posts are spot on.

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By *tranger swings 69Couple
over a year ago

cheshire

"My advice be don't be like the wanking dead, talk to females or couples like we all civilised adults who developed some form of communication skills instead of just going up to people " do you want to fuck?" Or whipping your cock out over someone fucking without asking permission "

Wanking dead hahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And another Fab member posts a question just before leaving the site.

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By *ECADANCE CLUB ROCHDALECouple
over a year ago

ROCHDALE

We would say it's the same in a club as it is normal life. No means no. Don't touch without permission. Don't leer. Be respectful. It's all common sense.

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Go frequently, to increase your sense of relaxation, as well as getting to know the place well. And to be known by others. Less is often more - you'll not be known as looking desperate, if you make shorter trips and are upbeat.

The more you think of it as somewhere like a bar/pub, that has other features, the more relaxed and approachable you may seem.

Never stare at anyone.

The rest of the posts are spot on. "

Ha, I had quite afew men stare at me for ages at clubs. Think they need to listen to your advice. It's horrible being stared at. Even when you're fully dressed and not even doing anything

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By *ontWannaMissASwingCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

"Most of club etiquette is common sense.

Don't waddle around wanking and after women and couples.

No means no.

Don't pounce on the female half of a couple when left alone.

Don't blank the male half of a couple.

Don't get too pissed.

Always go without expectations.

Just to add, Don't pounce on any part of a couple when they are alone. Happened to us this weekend at a club and I was stuck in a very uncomfortable situation waiting for my husband to come back. "

This happend to me the first time we went to a club. Was already nervous and got pounced on by single men every time I was on my own. Really put me off the whole thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah really depends what club it is really. I went to one and they got really pissed off mainly because I was running around saying follow me. Maybe a wheelchair club wasn’t the best choice.

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By *ackbydemandMan
over a year ago

Leicester

I had my first night on Saturday back after an 18 year retirement from swinging. Ask permission for everything. As if you can watch, ask if you can sit close, ask if you can touch. If you get an invite to a room, tell them the things you would like to do and if they would like that. Firstly, it's consent at every stage, a yes to watching is NOT an automatic yes to face fucking someone. Plus, telling someone the things you are about to do before you do them can be a massive turn on for everybody. Make sure both of them are spoken to. Ask what the dynamics are and just be kind, generous and most importantly respectful.

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