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A Question For Women Only

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By *WINGStars23 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northwest

HI fellow Fabbettes, so we have a few questions and they are for women only to answer and only if it pertains to you personally no random comments please.

A friend of ours is with a wonderful and very sexy girl, who is up for most of his kinks (though has virtually none herself) including him watching her being had by other guys and a little dogging and being filmed. But though they have a lot of sex, he finds pleasing her very difficult, she totally silent & doesnt make any noise during sex, no sighs, groans, grunts or Ooo-Ahh's at all & has she's never orgasmed.

We have tried to advise him from our perspective, & for him to try different and more sensual things to tease her and open up her emotional responses, but we are looking for a more diverse insight on how he can please her. And we can pass on your feedback to him.

Maybe you are a similar type of girl/woman?

And if you are, maybe you can explain how you feel when it comes to sex

Questions...

1. Are you totally silently when having sex? If so why?

2. How does the thought of anything sexual excite you and in what way do you respondto it?

3. Are their any of you who regularly have sex, but have never have been able to orgasm during sex with anyone, or never made yourself orgasm, & do you think you can explain why not?

4. Do you have sex just to please your partner? or if you are single and you are the same during sex what do you get from your own silence and lack of orgasms?

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

This sounds like a trauma response. My trauma patterns are different, but the solution for me was for me to feel safe enough that I could tell people what was going on.

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By *WINGStars23 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northwest

Possibly, he may not know something from her past. Thanks for that.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can't answer your questions but I'm going to ask one.

What has she said when they've discussed it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Possibly, he may not know something from her past. Thanks for that. "

I think it probably is that and he should try to talk frankly with her and support her. She may benefit from some specialist counselling.

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By *isAdventure69Woman
over a year ago

Hampshire

I don’t always have an orgasm and I still love sex, the intimacy, the being spoilt and spoiling in return. There’s plenty of things I love doing in life that don’t bring on orgasms ( just as well ) and still I keep on doing them. I think my point is that having an orgasm is the icing on the cake , for me anyway, but it’s not essential.

I nearly always cum whilst indulging in self tlc and I literally don’t make a sound , so being vocal or not isn’t always a measure of the level of enjoyment in my opinion

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

I rarely have a full orgasm when with another person, doesn't mean I'm not really enjoying myself.

Sometimes I'm a noisy lover but I can also be a very quiet one, I cut off everything and just concentrate on what the person is doing to me and how it feels, I won't make noises or even listen to them , have been known to totally forget that there is a real person there lol

Unfortunately pornos have given a false idea that women have to be making all kinds of noises to truly be enjoying themselves.

Communication with the lady is the only way to answer because we're all different

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By *WINGStars23 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northwest


"I can't answer your questions but I'm going to ask one.

What has she said when they've discussed it?"

Shes told him that she enjoys all they do with each other and with others.

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By *WINGStars23 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northwest

We understand everyone is different. We ourselves aren't quiet. But also not like pornstars. The poor lads at his wits end.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I can't answer your questions but I'm going to ask one.

What has she said when they've discussed it?

Shes told him that she enjoys all they do with each other and with others. "

Ok. Another question from me, I'm nosey . Why doesn't he believe her and why does he feel he can get answers from other people? (I know that's two)

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

Sounds like she switches off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A key question needing answering first... Does she masturbate regularly/at all, and when she does can she make herself orgasm?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"We understand everyone is different. We ourselves aren't quiet. But also not like pornstars. The poor lads at his wits end."

Why is he at his wits end ? Some people are quiet when they have sex,but you learn to read the other signs that they are enjoying themselves. I don't always orgasm there have been lots of times I haven't over the years when I haven't it doesn't mean I didn't enjoy sex with the person.And anyone who thought it their one aim to make me orgasm usually made it harder for me to especially if they were making a big deal about it. Sometimes I faked it just to stop them annoying me about it. It's as off putting as those who claim they can make me squirt and say they will make it their goal if I meet them.

He has a partner who is willing to explore kinks and fantasies with him.It sounds like they have a good sex life.He should enjoy that rather than looking at how to 'fix' her when most likely there is absolutely nothing wrong and she enjoys the sex life they have. I know I would be beyond pissed off if a partner was chatting about me and asking people how to fix things,rather than actually speaking to me and chatting about things like a partner should.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

This sounds like the answer is buried in her past.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This all sounds very similar to me. I am also not noisy at all during sex. It is a trauma response.

I have a mental block due to a past experience I will not share here.

Needless to say, I can not orgasm, even with myself. I can enjoy sex though, in my own way.

Maybe instead of trying to change things to make her orgasm he should stop trying and sit and talk to her and let her know she has a safe space where she can talk if she wants to.

She isnt a puzzle to crack, she is a person to be understood.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"We understand everyone is different. We ourselves aren't quiet. But also not like pornstars. The poor lads at his wits end."

Why?

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By *ylvieMWoman
over a year ago

Aylesbury

I havent had a man make me orgasm in over 11 years.

Nothing to do with the man lol.

They could be the best I've ever had and unlikely to.

I do orgasm by myself, and if I do orgasm during sex its because there are toys involved or I play with myself.

I think its because I cant relax fully, I'm demisexual and I have to entirely trust the other person.

I do obviously still enjoy it. And admittedly a little bit envious when you go to clubs and see women there having no issues.

Have they tried toys? As long as she gets there, how she gets there shouldn't be an issue surely?

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire


"We understand everyone is different. We ourselves aren't quiet. But also not like pornstars. The poor lads at his wits end.

Why?"

Because she's not showing her appreciation on his terms, at a guess

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By *WINGStars23 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northwest


"I can't answer your questions but I'm going to ask one.

What has she said when they've discussed it?

Shes told him that she enjoys all they do with each other and with others.

Ok. Another question from me, I'm nosey . Why doesn't he believe her and why does he feel he can get answers from other people? (I know that's two)"
i think he does believe her, but on the other had he's also starting to feel inadequate and thinking because he can't make her orgasm, he's doing something wrong. As for asking other people he's reaching out, so we thought we would ask a wider community for him.

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By *WINGStars23 OP   Couple
over a year ago

Northwest


"A key question needing answering first... Does she masturbate regularly/at all, and when she does can she make herself orgasm?"
She's never orgasmed from masturbation or from penatrive sex.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I can't answer your questions but I'm going to ask one.

What has she said when they've discussed it?

Shes told him that she enjoys all they do with each other and with others.

Ok. Another question from me, I'm nosey . Why doesn't he believe her and why does he feel he can get answers from other people? (I know that's two)i think he does believe her, but on the other had he's also starting to feel inadequate and thinking because he can't make her orgasm, he's doing something wrong. As for asking other people he's reaching out, so we thought we would ask a wider community for him."

Does he and as importantly she, know you're discussing this with other people?

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down


"I can't answer your questions but I'm going to ask one.

What has she said when they've discussed it?

Shes told him that she enjoys all they do with each other and with others.

Ok. Another question from me, I'm nosey . Why doesn't he believe her and why does he feel he can get answers from other people? (I know that's two)i think he does believe her, but on the other had he's also starting to feel inadequate and thinking because he can't make her orgasm, he's doing something wrong. As for asking other people he's reaching out, so we thought we would ask a wider community for him.

Does he and as importantly she, know you're discussing this with other people?"

exactly .

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I used to be similar, basically I couldn't relax, I felt awkward especially being watched, I'd be very quiet and not that I didn't enjoy it but couldn't orgasm because I couldn't let go, things are a whole lot different these days, it could be in response to trauma, confidence, health or just the inability to orgasm.

I'd suggest he speak and ask her if it's bugging him.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We understand everyone is different. We ourselves aren't quiet. But also not like pornstars. The poor lads at his wits end."

Poor lad, it sounds like a terrible situation. He should get rid.

What's the point of having a woman if she won't do sex the way he likes it?

Find one who screams and moans.

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