FabSwingers.com forum: Being too honest

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone,

Just wondered why people turn you down because you're to honest.

People want you to be then because you are honest about things they say they ain't interested.

I accept its hard on here to find people you find a bond with etc.

I also don't get on here much due to work etc but I think I'm also ignored due to not having others verifications.

But it's hard if you're a newbie to get these.

It's the old conundrum of the chicken and the egg

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

There's nothing wrong with honesty, it's always a good thing, and well respected with other people.

This chicken and egg thing - sometimes it's down to a lack of the right kind of people in your area who meet newcomers. It could be just purely geographical and maybe if you set your sights further out you might find someone for those initial first meets that will leave you good feedback and get you started out.

People do have reservations about meeting newbies and I can understand this. Why hang around and make arrangements and have to fire messages back and forth endlessly for someone who might never turn up when you could dial someone you've met tens of times and just ask them to drop by - a sure thing by comparison.

I know it doesn't have to be this way, and if it was then new blood wouldn't get into the scene and it would strangle itself off by going stale.

While that only partly answers it, and I don't have any clues on the hows and why's of peoples reactions to messages I can only recommend that you stick with it, cast your net wide and keep fingers crossed for something to turn up - it usually does...

Good luck.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is hatd for newbies, but stick with it. Try clubs or socials to dio your toes

Good luck xx

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

Guess it depends on what you're being honest about ?

If you have been admitting to rubbing yourself off with a pair of wet kippers. You may be freaking them out a little bit.

Frozen cod is a bit more acceptable and it's only a little white lie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Guess it depends on what you're being honest about ?

If you have been admitting to rubbing yourself off with a pair of wet kippers. You may be freaking them out a little bit.

Frozen cod is a bit more acceptable and it's only a little white lie

Is it best not to mention the wet kippers then? Wondered why we keep getting a no thanks

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"Guess it depends on what you're being honest about ?

If you have been admitting to rubbing yourself off with a pair of wet kippers. You may be freaking them out a little bit.

Frozen cod is a bit more acceptable and it's only a little white lie

Is it best not to mention the wet kippers then? Wondered why we keep getting a no thanks

You definitely have to select your audience carefully

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the messages from you all,

May skip the wet kippers and cod though

Great positive feedback and I will do my best to take heed.

As regards the honesty bit, I asked someone what it was like regards the watersports thing, as in a previous message I said I didn't mind this.

They returned by saying how can I not mind this if I ain't tried it, then said no thanks to contact again.

I was surprised at the reaction to be honest, whilst I haven't tried it, I'm by no means repulsed by it, as some other people can be.

I have also in the past been with a women who squirts and was merely wondering if it may be similar not just in the messy way either lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is the only way to go in my opinion. Have lost several meets because of it

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By *rightloonMan
over a year ago

Stafford

"Thanks for the messages from you all,

May skip the wet kippers and cod though

Great positive feedback and I will do my best to take heed.

As regards the honesty bit, I asked someone what it was like regards the watersports thing, as in a previous message I said I didn't mind this.

They returned by saying how can I not mind this if I ain't tried it, then said no thanks to contact again.

I was surprised at the reaction to be honest, whilst I haven't tried it, I'm by no means repulsed by it, as some other people can be.

I have also in the past been with a women who squirts and was merely wondering if it may be similar not just in the messy way either lol.

Maybe that was just unlucky. You need to attend a social meet and chat to the people. You could also go to a swingers club but this might be a bit daunting on your own if you have never been before. Then get a couple of references from that and it will certainly help.

The other thing is that it takes time to figure out how to flirt with others effectively through a keyboard. It took me a year of posting on another site in the forums to crack this and I bombed a good few times before I cruised.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be who you are, be honest and be proud of yourself.

Those that lie, especially about things that they've got 'experience in' soon show themselves to be frauds...

Is one potential meet worth lowering your self respect for?

Isnt the shame of being caught lying enough of a reason?

Personally I think you did the right thing in being honest, if they had a problem with it; their problem.

You start trying to be what you think they want and you lose yourself and eventually dignity, etc

Onwards and upwards, with your standards intact

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By *ndy pandy and looby looCouple
over a year ago

YORK/LEEDS/HARROGATE/EAST COAST/NORTH WALES

Hi, you should not really question peoples preference or reason for a "No". Im guessing you think and some may have said, its because you are married? Well its the same as being turned down for being bi, enjoying cross dressing, wanting anal sex...it doesn't matter why, you just have to accept and move on. Now despite that, we were in our previous respective marriages stuck for 20 years + in loveless, pretty sexless situation purely out of love/duty to children. There was not even the passion to argue and lead to divorce, life was in limbo, as we and our then spouses ran in parallel lines - never touching physically, nor emotionally. So you never know what is going on in peoples lives. My friend enjoys sex but simply the basics, her husband begged, cajoled, threatened, bribed over the years till they agreed he gets his "kicks" inc WS & anal sex (safely) elsewhere. She gets the attention she needs without any pressure, so its amazing what can work. Or this guy may be a cheating bastard with a 100% perfect wife....but clearly nor perfect for him! He is looking for sex outside the marriage and maybe here is the place - best of a bad job....hopefully his meets will be clean,healthy and hygienic, no ladies wanting/expecting commitment either financially or emotionally, and all should be discreet.

So it may shock some, even on here, that if we meet a "single " guy Im pleased and they get right to the top of the list if married, for all the same reasons...not looking for love, he will have more reasons than most to take care of himself,( he doesn't want to explain an STD over Coranation Street!) and he will be even more discreet than normal.

So yes honesty always best policy...you win some, you loose some.

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