FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swinging Support and Advice

GUIDE FOR SINGLE GUYS 2.0

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Due to popular demand here it is again. It is shorter, sweeter and slightly edited as I can't remember the whole thing but is still hopefully useful material!

============================

GUIDE FOR SINGLE GUYS 2.0

by Mr O.

============================

What's the matter Billy? Disappointed that all your emails are being deleted all the time? Getting frustrated that no one seems to want to talk to you? Well then I suggest you read the following.

-----------------------------

1) YOU ARE THE MAJORITY

What this means is that you are the least desired entity on the website. Go and do a search now for men looking for women in your area and compare it against the women/couples looking for men. If the number of single men is 600 that is actually wrong as 600 is the 'hard limit' of search results returned so add a ton more to that for the real result! In other words you are really going to have to stand out from the crowd if you want to draw any sort of attention. The single ladies here hold the most power as they are the minority and most desired. Couples come in a close second. If you can't stand this unbalanced ratio then you may have better 'luck' at a night club.

-----------------------------

2) DON'T CRY IF YOU GET DELETED OR NO RESPONSE

It simply means they are not interested. A lot of the single guys on here are unable to take no for an answer so if they get a 'no thanks' in response they tend to get abusive so women and couples simply avoid this by not replying at all. You can thank your fellow single guy brethren for this! If you can't stand seeing endless 'deleted' I would highly recommend you simply delete the mail in sent items. It will still be in their inbox and if they are interested they will generally reply.

-----------------------------

3) MANNERS

Many single guys tend to send what are called 'one liners' to women and couples with things such as 'lets fuck' or 'free tonight?'. Would you seriously go up to a woman or a couple in person and say either of those things? No you would not. Introduce yourself politely the same way you would if you were meeting them in person and they will take you more seriously. Another big issue is cock shots. There are some folk on here who simply want a cock to accessorise their sex life. That is fine so if you wish to simply become an organic sex toy then keep the cock shots on your profile. If you want to demonstrate you are more than just an accessory I suggest you get some tasteful body shots or even face pictures up to be taken more seriously. I also recommend a face pic via mail after you have built good rapport and DO NOT send a cock shot via mail ever. Treat the site as a social outlet with the possibility of some fun on the side and your experience will be much more enjoyable. If you want instant 'results' then a night club may be more suitable for you.

-----------------------------

4) PROFILE AND HONESTY

Your profile sells who you are and what you are looking for. 'Looking for fun' as the only text in your profile really won't cut it. Describe a bit about yourself, what you enjoy sexually, your availability and if you can travel/accom. It may potentially reduce your results but you will find the results you do get will be relevant and quality instead of mostly irrelevant and quantity. In other words you will save yourself a lot of time and effort.

-----------------------------

5) NETWORKING

I have been to a handful of socials from this site and I can say that they are possibly some of the most fun nights I have ever had in my life. I would HIGHLY recommend you get to socials and just politely introduce yourself to many people as possible without any expectations. Just be happy and enjoy the experience, that's why we are here after all! I also recommend you get into these forums and ENJOY them rather than doing it just to get potential shags. You can also pre-introduce yourself by seeing who is going to the socials and things on the relevant forum post. You will possibly find after many months that the meets will start to come to you instead of you having to chase.

-----------------------------

6) FIRST MEETS AND 'NO MEANS NO'

Unless you have had a ton of phone chats or MSN chats you will find yourself nervous 99% of the time on first meets. The couple or single lady will also be nervous as they human just like you are. Just speak to them the same way you would a friend, keep it friendly and don't go with ANY expectations of getting a shag. They have the right to decline you even in person. Likewise you have the right to decline them as well so if they aren’t your type just say 'no thanks'. They may react to rejection negatively but don't force yourself to shag someone just because you 'finally' got a meet. Above all remember that NO MEANS NO. It is the golden rule. If you want to poke a wife bareback and she says no then you put a condom on, period. Likewise if you don't want to do bareback but she is demanding it then YOU CAN SAY NO. Take control of your raging libido and you will find your experience here much more enjoyable and safe.

-----------------------------

I hope this can reach out to some of the struggling genuine folk out there and make their experience more enjoyable. Likewise I hope that it reduces the number of 'spam' mails that couples and single ladies receive - one can only hope!

-Mr O.

x

****************************************************

DO NOT QUOTE THIS POST AS IT TAKES UP TOO MUCH SPACE!

****************************************************

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heekychezzaWoman
over a year ago

warrington

Nice one Olly xxmwahxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etillanteWoman
over a year ago

.

Oh Olly, nice to have you back

You are so wise

xxx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sensible words.

Maybe add "Be patient"!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

Thanks for the info-I have taken the cock pick off my avatar.

I think a polite 'no thank you' would not come amiss when you have sent a decently long message, don't you think?.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *riapus4uMan
over a year ago

Charlestown, Cornwall

OMG, I did NOT realise the enormous ratio of guys looking for women-just did the analysis for NG (Nottingham).

I am going to have to be patient (worse luck!).

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondladyWoman
over a year ago

titsville

Bump

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondladyWoman
over a year ago

titsville

Bump

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

being patient will pay off trust me.been on here a while and know i am in majority of loads of men on here. but in the end patience paid off.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not rocket science really, and i think the same rules could apply to everyone not just single guys.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead


"Its not rocket science really, and i think the same rules could apply to everyone not just single guys.

"

thank you.... save me having to more or less write what i was going to... and I think actually these types of posts can be negative for a few reasons....

what I also think this kind of thread actually does unwittingly is 3 things...

1) just produce a lot of "clone" profiles... with people thinking they must do "this" to get meets.... the perfect formula for the least amount of work needed.....

2) just made it harder for those people who do "get it" so to speak to actually get meets..... because now there profiles don't stand out a mile

3) just made it harder for those people looking for meets to distinguish between those who are genuine and do actually "get it" and those who say the right things just to get there leg over!!

no offence, you may as well give the timewasters a guide on how to get into peoples confidence without all the normal red flags going off in peoples heads....

It may have been done for good... but genuine people don't need this type of help... those who get it don't need this because they know what does and doesn't work for them......

and with the "clones" in the end all these guides do is end up killing off individuality... and that is more important things in chosing people...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree with you there Fabio,the way i look at it is,if these people need it spelling out for them how to behave or what to put on a profile then they shouldnt be on here.

They are the type of people we avoid or wont meet anyway.

I too hate all these rules for single guys,see them all the time on here and i hate seeing single guys being singled out.

We meet guys and the guys we have met over the years have been lovely

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

There's a guy in one of the chatrooms (not namingnames) who's approach is consistent, sadly predictable irrrespective of who he's talking to, how long' he's knownthem or what they're looking for:

Q1: "User_XY, you look nice - how are you?"

Q2: "User_XY, have you seen me?"

If NO then

Q3: "My cam is on, do you want to check?"

Q4: "What do you think?" or "Do you like me?"

Q5: "So when can we meet?"

I almost shudder - some think its "Dial-a-fuck".

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my humble opinion, these "Guides for single guys" are more about the egos of the guys who write them!!

They seem to think they have some great wisdom when as has already been said, if a guy doesn't have a clue about the basics then maybe he shouldn't be here in the first place!

A few suggestions maybe, but these yards long things are a joke, imho!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Comes over as a bit condescending to me though I'm sure it was written with good intentions.

Like others I think the good guys dont need identikit profiles.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ngieandMrManCouple
over a year ago

hereford

I guess our profile must attract a type of character(s) and I couldn’t tell you how many couples we have chatted with in the last 4 years but what I can say is that in that time only a very few couples have actually bothered to send a ‘no thanks’.

We have only ever had one email that got close to being abusive and that was from…….. a couple! Incidentally it was a couple who got in touch with us, we had exchanged a few mails when they eventually noticed on our profile that we smoke! Apparently they thought it was their job to tell us smokers are scum!

We have never so far received anything abusive from a single male, and we advertise specifically for single guys (bi).

Fair to say some slip through the net but we try to reply to everyone, even those who do not deserve it, sometimes with a bit of helpful sarcasm.

Totally agree with the other posters, these ‘help sheets’ are totally pointless, guys who might need to read it don’t read period!!! People have either got it or they haven’t, and whatever ‘it’ is, they must have ‘it’ for the people they meet. FAQ’s for single guys will never create a likeable personality from some knob-head who thinks swinging means ‘get your free shag here’. Even it did help them cross the primary hurdles it’s not going to teach them any sexual skills.

To the OP… best you carry on doing what you are doing as it seems to work for you and the people you want to be with.

As for the rest of the guys out there, if what you do ‘works’ then keep doing it and if it doesn’t work try something different… and that isn’t rocket science either.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Excellent though also i like to know what someone is like as a personality, gsoh, etc plus reading someones profile would be nice too.

As you say though, one liners wont attract anything other than the delete button and they are the ones that arent going to read this

As to good manners, if you arrange a meet but take one look and dont like, have to decency to introduce yourself not run off, how bloody rude. Shame we cant leave verifications on someones profile to show that therefore they are not really that genuine or trustworthy though i guess i should be grateful that they turned up

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's another one; make sure when you message someone, you get their name right!

Twice ive received messages from someone that have, like today, Hi ang?? who the f**k is ang???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Point 6 is very valid. I still keek myself on first meets! lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol Lisa I had a few of those, which proves that most men dont read profiles properly hehehe

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok here's a Q why would the person that posted this in the first place leave the site ???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok here's a Q why would the person that posted this in the first place leave the site ??? "

Lol Mr O was a respected single male on here and he eventually found a realationship on here and they both packed up swinging and walked inta the sunset xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

which is all well and good...and good luck to him I hope the sunset is treating him well...

However I still stand by the point, and will be very vocal about them, In that I think they help Timewasters and hinder those people who genuinely "get it"....

if people want to learn.... the best people do it in there manners, and there actions, and there persona on here!

it doesn't need to be spelt out and it isn't rocket science, it is plain old common sense! treat people the way you would like to be treated!

cool.. if people have a FAQ section then fine... but these "guides" do go over the top to the point of being almost condesending....

I am glad I am not the only person who felt like this....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

My thoughts are, will the people who don't read profiles or read and disregard anyway, likely to come onto the forums and read "tips" of how to win over the ladies..... I doubt it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *heWolfMan
over a year ago

warwickshire


"However I still stand by the point, and will be very vocal about them, In that I think they help Timewasters and hinder those people who genuinely "get it"....

if people want to learn.... the best people do it in there manners, and there actions, and there persona on here!

it doesn't need to be spelt out and it isn't rocket science, it is plain old common sense! treat people the way you would like to be treated!"

I agree, it really isn't rocket science. The whingers are going to be the kind of people who have absolutely zero social skills anyway. The best tip I can give them is a link to Adult Work, then they can go and book a hooker, satisfaction guaranteed(ish).

Plus, if personally, I ever find the magic formula which makes me absolutely irresistible, I'll not be posting it for all to see. With the huge numbers of blokes out there who are in competition with me for even the opportunity to give a good account of ourself, let alone get down to playing in the flesh, why would anyone try to give all the idiots a clue?

The more of them that send a cock pic and a one-liner, the better my chances are!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ok here's a Q why would the person that posted this in the first place leave the site ???

Lol Mr O was a respected single male on here and he eventually found a realationship on here and they both packed up swinging and walked inta the sunset xx "
.... Sits in the corner with finger on lip lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top