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How do you do it?

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By *uck_us_hard OP   Couple
over a year ago

N.E Lincolnshire

How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here? "

stop swinging.

sorry if that is harsh, not intended too but it is a risky business if you can't stop yourself

all the best

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By *uck_us_hard OP   Couple
over a year ago

N.E Lincolnshire

Lol I'm not a bunny boiler, don't get me wrong!!! sometimes I just feel a little let down afterwards when there is such a build up, it's not a problem just wondered how people can be so unattached?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NSA means just that, no string attached.

After a meet, I would text to say thanks, and leave it at that.

If the gent is interested in repeats he will keep in contact. If he does not, the messages will dry up.

One way or another, I shall move on and and look for others to play with.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here? "

We dont.

We make friends, and some are likely to be forever.

However, there is a line we dont cross, our relationship is always our first priority, nothing and no-one comes before that.

I guess we are lucky that we are madly in love and dont need/want anyone else, that gives us the security to be as open as we want with our feelings and emotions during swinging, safe in the knowledge that we can walk away from it all if we want to.

Personally, I would say, if you are finding yourself in that situation, you need to take a step back and look long and hard at whether swinging is a good idea.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here? "

I imagine it's quite rare to find complete emotional detachment. I/we have to like the people we are getting naked with and if we are going to see them more than once we have to like them quite a lot but like is a very long way from love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to like the gent before I can play with him, however, it is not emotional attachment or dependence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here? "

I have first hand experiance wih this... its a tricky one as its nice to get to know the person your playing with ect and obviously you wouldnt spend time with someone you didnt like. I now have rules I follow.... number 1 dont cuddle at any point! number 2 dont cook them dinner! number 3 dont see the same person for more than 3 months. and theres loads more.... thats my advice but not always easy to stick with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I broke all three of those, and wouldn't say I'm emotionally involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

I have first hand experiance wih this... its a tricky one as its nice to get to know the person your playing with ect and obviously you wouldnt spend time with someone you didnt like. I now have rules I follow.... number 1 dont cuddle at any point! number 2 dont cook them dinner! number 3 dont see the same person for more than 3 months. and theres loads more.... thats my advice but not always easy to stick with."

No cuddles? I love cuddles

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I broke all three of those, and wouldn't say I'm emotionally involved "

lol for the record iv never got emotionally involved but I have had girls get emotionally involved with me.... its horribe seeing someone you like upset cause you dont feel the same.. but what can you do? I was straight with them from the start. hence my new rules

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am a very tactile person by nature, and love kissing, cuddling and touching.

I am feeder by nature, and love to cook and feed peeps. However, that is not to say I am emotionally attached to the ones I cook and feed!

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here? "

I rarely meet men more than once. I did get emotionally attached to a meet a few years ago which didn't turn out well, but luckily recently I've been able to keep things at friends only level. As I am not looking for a relationship that helps me keep things NSA.

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By *coobyroo218Couple
over a year ago

Guernsey

We as a couple spoke about this at length and we _iew it as just fun, just sex, and nothing more, the build up is sometimes better than the actual meet, the flirting the sex talk the picture sharing at times, but we never really find out too much about the person outside of the bedroom.

as said NSA is exactly what this should be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love cooking to! Im pretty bloody good at if I do say so myself! its hard not to show off skills and cook for girls

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By *uck_us_hard OP   Couple
over a year ago

N.E Lincolnshire


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

I have first hand experiance wih this... its a tricky one as its nice to get to know the person your playing with ect and obviously you wouldnt spend time with someone you didnt like. I now have rules I follow.... number 1 dont cuddle at any point! number 2 dont cook them dinner! number 3 dont see the same person for more than 3 months. and theres loads more.... thats my advice but not always easy to stick with."

Hehe sounds good!

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By *uck_us_hard OP   Couple
over a year ago

N.E Lincolnshire

Okay maybe 'emotionally involved' wasn't the right way of putting it!

Basically just gutted when people decide to leave the scene and have no contact when I felt a friendship was forming!

And for the record myself and my husband are very much in love for whoever mentioned that one, we don't need anything extra in this marriage we just choose to have a little extra fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nowadays I am wary of peeps taking advantage of my generosity. Been there, done that, got my fingers burnt.

Hence I no longer invite peeps home for fun anymore. My home is my castle for me and the pets. This helps to keep myself emotionally detached from the gents I play with.

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By *njamesMan
over a year ago

Swindon


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here? "

It is a very difficult one, because I have to really like the person or people that I am with and meeting, and often meet the same people many times over, so naturally you do become closer and more emotionally attached each time you meet.

I think in certain circumstances it will be more difficult, but everybody is different in the way we deal with emotion and our feelings, so maybe It's just something that you have to deal with, one way or another.

I meet some wonderful and amazing people, who I find it very very hard not to become attached too, and often have to remind myself what it is I am doing and why I am there.

Take a small step back and see what it is you are actually feeling, then you will know what you need to do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fell for somebody on here and she fell for me , and it hurt us both. Was a long time ago now and looking back we were both just stupid. Its easily done, but I won't be letting it happen again

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By *njamesMan
over a year ago

Swindon


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

I have first hand experiance wih this... its a tricky one as its nice to get to know the person your playing with ect and obviously you wouldnt spend time with someone you didnt like. I now have rules I follow.... number 1 dont cuddle at any point! number 2 dont cook them dinner! number 3 dont see the same person for more than 3 months. and theres loads more.... thats my advice but not always easy to stick with."

No cuddles, no food ? = completely disagree mate, I love both and not see them for more than 3 months = have to disagree again

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield


"I have to like the gent before I can play with him, however, it is not emotional attachment or dependence.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the past 2 and a half years since we started swinging I have made some very close friends who I know will remain true true friends regardless of play. I had a pretty rotten year with my health and it suprised me how friends we made on here actually were better friends to me than my vanilla ones.

So I can understand where you are coming from. I know lots keep things superficial and never get close but that's not me.

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By *uck_us_hard OP   Couple
over a year ago

N.E Lincolnshire


"In the past 2 and a half years since we started swinging I have made some very close friends who I know will remain true true friends regardless of play. I had a pretty rotten year with my health and it suprised me how friends we made on here actually were better friends to me than my vanilla ones.

So I can understand where you are coming from. I know lots keep things superficial and never get close but that's not me.

"

Exactly! That's what I am trying to say and I hope things are now looking up for you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

stop swinging.

sorry if that is harsh, not intended too but it is a risky business if you can't stop yourself

all the best "

+1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How long is a piece of string?

Make your own boundaries and stick to them. If you dont want to get too emotionally involved and you 'feel' it happening, stop seeing that person....

Easier said than done though....I should have done that but couldnt tear myself away......

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

we're all human and it would be impossible to not get emotionally involved EVER if you meet more than two or three people, teh law of averages means that you will click with one of them on a slightly deeper level at some point. But the same law applies in life generally and most of us manage to avoid getting too emotionally involved with colleagues, platonic friends etc but now and again a bolt from the blue hits and no one is immune. As lots of others have said be aware it might happen and be prepared to withdraw if it does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Firstly, I can see the emotional aspect being more of a concern between couples.

I think it's also different for different folk, but I certainly wouldn't say that cuddles, making a meal, and seeing the same person a number of times are 'no nos'. But of course, maybe I'm not your average swinger!

And personally, if I enjoy spending time with a lady, and she is of a similar mind, then we'll do just that, but it doesn't mean that we have any plans to disappear off into the sunset together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just don't see myself spending time with just one person, as I do not believe one person can tick all the boxes.

Variety is the spice of life for me indeed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm one who prefers to meet a select few regular people as opposed to always meeting new people.

Does bring up some emotions but as i'm not after a relationship right now i'm happy as long as I make time to spend with them and vice-versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

We dont.

We make friends, and some are likely to be forever.

However, there is a line we dont cross, our relationship is always our first priority, nothing and no-one comes before that.

I guess we are lucky that we are madly in love and dont need/want anyone else, that gives us the security to be as open as we want with our feelings and emotions during swinging, safe in the knowledge that we can walk away from it all if we want to.

Personally, I would say, if you are finding yourself in that situation, you need to take a step back and look long and hard at whether swinging is a good idea."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

I have first hand experiance wih this... its a tricky one as its nice to get to know the person your playing with ect and obviously you wouldnt spend time with someone you didnt like. I now have rules I follow.... number 1 dont cuddle at any point! number 2 dont cook them dinner! number 3 dont see the same person for more than 3 months. and theres loads more.... thats my advice but not always easy to stick with."
awww no cuddles? i love cuddles. lol

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool


"Okay maybe 'emotionally involved' wasn't the right way of putting it!

Basically just gutted when people decide to leave the scene and have no contact when I felt a friendship was forming! "

The fact that you even feel like this is so nice to see. People on this site have all sorts of 'needs'. Those that enjoy the social side just as much as the physical side are, in my book, having the best fun of all. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Nowadays I am wary of peeps taking advantage of my generosity. Been there, done that, got my fingers burnt.

Hence I no longer invite peeps home for fun anymore. My home is my castle for me and the pets. This helps to keep myself emotionally detached from the gents I play with.

"

thats fair comment.

once your taken advantage of you become a little harder about things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a very valid point - and early on we had some of these issues . However as time moved on we realised it was a natural human emotion but had no place in swinging - we took a break and had a think about why we wanted to swing and realised we loved the thrill , but from the female perspective there was still a bit of an issue on the emotional issues so we went more mmf and club group fun etc - and quickly realised that as the fun was for us there was no need for emotions toward playmates and now have great fun in all scenarios

As for no cuddles , kissing etc - wouldn't do it if there were restrictions - on a meet anything goes and although we do occasionally miss playmates that leave the scene , it's only because we miss playing with them lol

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By *anmjmosesMan
over a year ago

Northampton


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

I have first hand experiance wih this... its a tricky one as its nice to get to know the person your playing with ect and obviously you wouldnt spend time with someone you didnt like. I now have rules I follow.... number 1 dont cuddle at any point! number 2 dont cook them dinner! number 3 dont see the same person for more than 3 months. and theres loads more.... thats my advice but not always easy to stick with."

I hear rules. Depends on the sort of person that you are. Although new to this I approach swinging same as I would with dating. I wouldnt have sex with someone on a regular if there wasn't anything other than physical attraction. On the negative side, what do u do when u fall for someone in this scene? As the saying goes, you can't always help who you fall for or get attached to....

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

I think at all times reminding yourself (if part of a couple) that is a sex site you're using to enjoy all those fantasy's you have had and not any more than that helps.

I think _iew summed it up as well as you can though, if you are getting emotionally invested then swinging isnt for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

I have first hand experiance wih this... its a tricky one as its nice to get to know the person your playing with ect and obviously you wouldnt spend time with someone you didnt like. I now have rules I follow.... number 1 dont cuddle at any point! number 2 dont cook them dinner! number 3 dont see the same person for more than 3 months. and theres loads more.... thats my advice but not always easy to stick with."

I disagree, I do all of these things on meet sand have never got emotionally attached

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

try to stick to the same guy rather than loads of different guys and have neva had a problem with anyone getting emotionally involved as every one knows the deal from the word go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't see them too often

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's why I like 2-3 regulars rather than 1 because I find 1 on 1 to the point of it feeling relationshippy is a little over the line at the moment.

I'm quite happy to cuddle, watch films etc and all that but don't read too far into it because it's not stuff I do with just one person.

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By *toneblueMan
over a year ago

Southampton

Be emotionally secure, not needing someone else to make you happy. Don't stay the night (sleep I mean). Don't do lots of other things together, make it primarily about sex. Don't see them more than once a month. And don't share too much about your life. Keep them a mystery, keep it exciting.

That has worked so far for me. But I guess we are all vulnerable to the right one, should they come along. It's a risk we accept. We can reduce that risk though.

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush


"How do you stop yourselves getting too emotionally involved with people on here?

I have first hand experiance wih this... its a tricky one as its nice to get to know the person your playing with ect and obviously you wouldnt spend time with someone you didnt like. I now have rules I follow.... number 1 dont cuddle at any point! number 2 dont cook them dinner! number 3 dont see the same person for more than 3 months. and theres loads more.... thats my advice but not always easy to stick with."

Never give anyone a Rolo. That's a big no no

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