FabSwingers.com forum: Postponing meet

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If you had a social meet arranged and then had an offer of a meet to play would you then cancel or postpone the social ?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No, if we make arrangements to meet someone we will stand by them unless an emergency crops up.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"If you had a social meet arranged and then had an offer of a meet to play would you then cancel or postpone the social ? "

uphold the original plans, how would you feel if you had that happen to yourself?

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"No, if we make arrangements to meet someone we will stand by them unless an emergency crops up."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It has just happened to us, and wanted to see how others felt to see if I'm overraecting feeling pissed off !!!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"It has just happened to us, and wanted to see how others felt to see if I'm overraecting feeling pissed off !!! "

No I would feel royally pissed off and I think you have every right to feel that way yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does it make a difference if it's a single bloke ? Obviously a shag is better than a coffe with the possibility of a shag in the future !

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

no it doesn't make any difference, but it does say a lot about his priorities.

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By *ortheastcoupleukCouple
over a year ago

easington were the sun dont shine

well thats sounds like someone put a garrenteed shag over a social imo tells you sumit about them, cpl of weeks ago we had a meet aranged at a mans hotel emailed texted ect all week sorted , then on the day no contact .got in contact 1 hour before we were gona set off ,he told us sorry had made other plans(better offer) few days later a cpl got in touch asking if we had met him that night ,as he used for for a quicky not in the hotel he was staying and ushered away quite fast ,told them he was off to meet us ,we didnt as said he told us other plans anyway plus for us was we got to block him .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Assuming that the meet is today then very poor form and I'd be massively pissed off.

If it was sometime away they wouldn't get a second chancde then I would respect their honesty and appreciate the notice given.

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By *arumcoupleCouple
over a year ago

salisbury

"No, if we make arrangements to meet someone we will stand by them unless an emergency crops up."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I Kristy went and met him alone for a coffe and really liked him. We had arranged to meet again this afternoon for another coffe see how we got on again and make arrangements for him to join me and my man for a overnight meet. I then got a message to say it would have to be a lot later as he had a threesome to go to first on the way !!! I feel a bit pissed of as I even got a new dress !!! Also we had not mentioned but were looking for a regular playmate and thought he may fit the bill. But not sure now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This happens quiet a lot on here. It's annoying x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I think if I was a couple and it was a single guy, knowing how hard it can be for singles to get meets, I would wish him well and arrange another time and look for a play meet ourselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Though being devils advocate for a moment, people get slated for no shows, there is an excuse thread on here at the moment where people are being slated for lying but now someone is being slated for cancelling and being honest... There does seem to be an element of dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.

Likewise, when people say it says a lot about his priorities, this is a swinging site, people are here looking for sex. Single men can go months without a meet. And while it';s shit for the OP being on the receiving end of the cancellation you can to a degree understand the guys logic.

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"If you had a social meet arranged and then had an offer of a meet to play would you then cancel or postpone the social ? "

It's annoying when you have made plans for a social - only to find it is cancelled - and the hosts post a verification for that night.

Having said that - it is very hard (for a bloke) to turn down a guaranteed meeting...

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Though being devils advocate for a moment, people get slated for no shows, there is an excuse thread on here at the moment where people are being slated for lying but now someone is being slated for cancelling and being honest... There does seem to be an element of dammed if you do and dammed if you don't.

snap

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think if I was a couple and it was a single guy, knowing how hard it can be for singles to get meets, I would wish him well and arrange another time and look for a play meet ourselves"

That was my thinking to start with ! But would rather have been told" I have a shag lined up and can't meet" as opposed to trying to push our meet back till later to accomadate the shag. You can't have your cake and eat it !!!!

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I think if I was a couple and it was a single guy, knowing how hard it can be for singles to get meets, I would wish him well and arrange another time and look for a play meet ourselves

apologies I may have misread, I thought he had been upfront with you..., I agree, honesty is always the best policy x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He was upfront but I feel slightly insulted in that I was asked If I could change my plans and meet him later to accomadate his shag. Which was clearly arranged after we had made plans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if it was me in your shoes, and the guy had a 'sure thing' on offer, I'd say 'go for it, we can have a drink another time'

I wouldn't just write him off this time... if he made a habbit of it I might not be so happy for him

He did still want to meet after all, just a bit later

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Maybe he thought it wasn't going anywhere. One non-play meet first is fair enough I suppose but two?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Good point, but then why arrange in the first place ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You can't have your cake and eat it !!!! "

Why can't you?

Depends on does he want to move it from 7pm to 8:30 or 7pm to midnight really.

You have met him, is he worth the hassle if not then block and move on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There was not a time to move it to, it was more of some time later I'll let you know whe I have finished.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I can see both sides of this and as said above, it was only for a coffee. Any reason you can't meet him later?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can understand why his priorities are as they are but it's never a nice feeling to be put off in favour of someone else. I know that we are all here for the same thing ultimately it's how we get there that's different and that's why situations like this arise I suppose

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"There was not a time to move it to, it was more of some time later I'll let you know whe I have finished. "

See I'd hate that it would make me feel second best and why the he'll would you wait around for him to finish? As I said speaks volumes about priorities and attitude

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Damn phone....hell not he'll

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

How many coffee meets are needed to know if you'll get on well? would you have needed another one so that he could have met your OH too?

Hes been honest with you and although its pissed you off a bit,maybe he thought that postponing what was again only a social meet with a maybe further arrangement was ok

I think if I was a guy I know which option I would take

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had a social meet arranged and then had an offer of a meet to play would you then cancel or postpone the social ? "

i personally wouldnt no because i wouldnt meet someone for a shag, i always meet for a drink first then play if we get on so both meets would potentially be for a social first

i have had it done to me tho, the guy i was meeting text me to tell me he was no longer coming to pick me up, i was sat at the train station waiting for him, as he was now meeting someone else

im sure it happens a lot its just hes been the only one honest enough to be truthful and no say hes dogs died lol

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

His honesty is commendable but I'd struggle with being asked to wait until he'd finished to me it's dismissive and slightly disrespectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many coffee meets are needed to know if you'll get on well?"

i was thinking that

If i met someone and i felt we got on and they then asked me to meet then again for just another coffee id feel like they was messing me about

I wouldnt arrange to meet anyone for two socials, if someone dont like me enough to play with me after one its time to move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His honesty is commendable but I'd struggle with being asked to wait until he'd finished to me it's dismissive and slightly disrespectful. "

lots of people have more than one meets in a day

there was a thread not so long back asking what the most meets a day people have had and loads said they had had 2 one woman said she had met 6 guys in a day

if the OP was talking about a single female doing the same i bet peoples replys would be different, most would be saying its her choice who she meets and everyone has the rights to change their mind etc

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"His honesty is commendable but I'd struggle with being asked to wait until he'd finished to me it's dismissive and slightly disrespectful.

lots of people have more than one meets in a day

there was a thread not so long back asking what the most meets a day people have had and loads said I had had 2 one woman said she had met 6 guys in a day

I don't have an issue with how many people he meets in a day or if his gender has anything to do with it. I personally would find it disrespectful if someone arranged to.meet me at a certain time then said something else had come up could I hang on until some.unspecified time when he'd finished. Just me but self respect stops me from waiting around just in case.

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By *erendipityWoman
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"I Kristy went and met him alone for a coffe and really liked him. We had arranged to meet again this afternoon for another coffe see how we got on again and make arrangements for him to join me and my man for a overnight meet. I then got a message to say it would have to be a lot later as he had a threesome to go to first on the way !!! I feel a bit pissed of as I even got a new dress !!! Also we had not mentioned but were looking for a regular playmate and thought he may fit the bill. But not sure now "

I don't think it's that big a problem to be honest - it's not like he was a no show or a last minute cancellation, he simply asked to meet you for a coffee later than arranged and was honest about why (assuming he's not suggesting he rolls up for coffee at 2am!). As you said, he doesn't know that you're checking him out as a possible regular and I'm sure he has no idea you bought a new dress especially for the second coffee - perhaps from his pov he thinks he isn't on a promise for anything more than another social so asking to change the time so that he can enjoy the opportunity of a threesome is something another swinger would 'get'.

I'd say don't get wound up about it, he and you are free agents looking for fun like most others here. The potential positive in it is that he's an active swinger who is grown up enough to be honest and if you do end organising a meet for sex, at least you know he's keen to attend - something worthwhile in that knowledge, if you choose to see it in that light

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wow - playing should be easy going and fun, we are here to find sexy like minded people and not the next person to walk up the aisle with lol! take a chill-pill, let others enjoy themselves, and be as honest and upfront with this guy as he has been with you. if you are looking for a regular fb then tell him. although once he has read this thread he make think slightly needy and what a close escape lol x

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I'm a very loyal person, and expect myself and others to stand by their word. I'd feel pissed off, if let down, and the thing to do is to decide if someone is reliable/respectful enough for you. Generally my answer is no, and where I've given the benefit of the doubt, I've got a higher than typical failure rate for satisfactory partners.

It's your call, you know what you need and what he may offer. For now, sooth your soul and take it easy. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had a social meet arranged and then had an offer of a meet to play would you then cancel or postpone the social ?

uphold the original plans, how would you feel if you had that happen to yourself?"

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Someone once gave me a piece of advice which was 'the first arrangement should be honoured'. He sticks to that and I have too, so regardless of what happens neither would cancel on the basis of a 'better offer'.

Surely if someone is keen to meet up then arranging another day shouldn't be too difficult.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a tough one. I know I'd be really pissed off if I was in your shoes. But having said that I can see his point too. He has already met you once for a social and obviously felt comfortable telling you the truth about his plans. He could have lied and given any excuse or said he couldn't make it at all.

But I personally would have cancelled with him as I won't play second fiddle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in exactly this situation myself very recently!

I'd been asked if I fancied meeting for a coffee the next day and as I'd met the person previously (social) and enjoyed their company - of course said yes - explaining that it would be 'mid afternoon' but that the exact time wouldn't be arranged til the next day due to uncertainty as to when I'd be finishing work.

The following day a friend I've met several times invited me round that afternoon. As I'd already made provisional plans I contacted the person I'd arranged coffee with to see if 6pm, rather than mid afternoon, was ok. I was honest about the reason for the change and told that this would be fine.

Upon leaving my friend and logging back on site I found a message saying "sorry, I can't make this evening". I replied with a "no problem, lets reschedule this week". With every intention of doing just that.

I can understand the OP's point of _iew - but feel it does beg the question - did she make it clear that she'd gone to so much trouble and was upset at being 'bumped back' a few hours - or was the impression given, as in my scenario, that there was no problem?

I guess we all have constraints on our time - with work, travel, family and children - and free time can sometimes be at a premium and hard to synchronise with others. Is a social more important than a play meet and vice versa? Should there be flexibility given and offered to those you wish to meet up with or should it be a case of once arranged there's no deviation?

I guess we're all different in our circumstances, but very similar in our desire to interact in an honest, upfront and accommodating manner. Communication I feel is key - if _iews, opinions and messages are not clear - then there's huge scope for misunderstanding, bad feeling and a negative perception of those you contact.

I don't think it matters whether we're talking about a single guy, woman or couple. Each can be as guilty of miscommunication as the other.

Hopefully the OP - and the guy in question - will have the opportunity to sort this out should they choose. Does seem to me to be an unfortunate situation that possibly both could have dealt with better to prevent something that could easily have been avoided.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Very good point well made .....with a very level heads _iew like that how do you fancy meeting up ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very good point well made .....with a very level heads _iew like that how do you fancy meeting up ? "

Well I am partial to the odd coffee!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, if we make arrangements to meet someone we will stand by them unless an emergency crops up."

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think this thread perfectly illustrates how everyones approach differs highlighting the value of complete honesty. No wrong approach just differing attitudes

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I think this thread perfectly illustrates how everyones approach differs highlighting the value of complete honesty. No wrong approach just differing attitudes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"His honesty is commendable but I'd struggle with being asked to wait until he'd finished to me it's dismissive and slightly disrespectful. "

I totally agree. I always prefer honesty but would not be pleased to here a guy would want to cancel or postpone meeting me (even just a social) because he got a better offer. I know a shag is a shag but I'm afraid my ego would be bruised.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been in exactly this situation myself very recently!

due to uncertainty as to when I'd be finishing work.

I don't think it matters whether we're talking about a single guy, woman or couple. Each can be as guilty of miscommunication as the other.

Get that Tongue warmed up .... You owe me !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, if we make arrangements to meet someone we will stand by them unless an emergency crops up."

Agree 100%. Incredibly bad manners to do otherwise...

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

This thread has gone decidedly wierd.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"His honesty is commendable but I'd struggle with being asked to wait until he'd finished to me it's dismissive and slightly disrespectful.

Mine too lol and that is ok, it does seem that it can be slightly frowned apon to have feelings like that. Some threads on here tell single guys that this isn't insta-shag yet others are saying that it's ok to put someone off for s guaranteed shag...no wonder they're confused

As I said before honesty is the way forward and if you don't like what you're reading or hearing walk away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well have'nt we had a giggle at this thread and the answers to the question, well to be honest it would not matter to us if its a social or a play date if we had made an arrangement we always keep it! If we had arranged a social and got offered a play date after the arrangement then we would be with out doubt be going on the social! No matter what the people you make arrangements with have worth and chipping them over till some time later when it suits you, just have to them hang about till it suits you is a crappy way to treat any one!! If you make a date keep it who knows the social could have turned in to a play date later!

Chris and Jayne x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i don't care if its a social or play meet

if i made arrangments i would keep them not wait for a better offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe he thought it wasn't going anywhere. One non-play meet first is fair enough I suppose but two?"

Exactly my thoughts. If I was him I would think I was on a hiding to nothing. And as for buying a new dress? For a coffee? Bit extreme. Some of the replies on here just confirm what a lot of people say about couples though, too up themselves and think that they are more important than everyone else. If he had said he wanted to arrive a bit later because he had to drop his child off somewhere would you still have had your nose put out of joint? Doubt it. You are just pissed off because he is shagging someone else. Signs of possessiveness already and you haven't even shagged him yet. We don't 'do' social meets, haven't the time, we just get on with it. So my _iew is going to be very different to a lot of other couples on here I know

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

If you had asked this a couple of years ago I would have thought how rude of him ... now I think good on him, this is a sex site not a lets meet for coffee until I decide I want to shag you site! x

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By *ssexguy69Man
over a year ago

thurrock Essex

id stick to first plan, you cant just drop someone after aranging a meet weather it is just a social meet or not , cos i woundnt like it done to me

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

Anyway OP, the only question left is:

Do you still want to shag him?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"If you had asked this a couple of years ago I would have thought how rude of him ... now I think good on him, this is a sex site not a lets meet for coffee until I decide I want to shag you site! x"

Some people don't _iew it as just.a sex site though that's why honest communication is key

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

"If you had asked this a couple of years ago I would have thought how rude of him ... now I think good on him, this is a sex site not a lets meet for coffee until I decide I want to shag you site! x

Some people don't _iew it as just.a sex site though that's why honest communication is key "

I agree honesty is the way to go.....however people can _iew it as they like but it IS a sex site x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe he thought it wasn't going anywhere. One non-play meet first is fair enough I suppose but two?

It seems funny that you mention couples being up themselves and then preceded to declare that even though you know nothing about me you know exactly what I am thinking and why I am pissed off !!! And then you state i am being possessive even though I have not yet shagged him. I asked for people's opinions not a personal attack on my character. I don't think buying a dress exteme but thanks for your "advice" in future I will turn up in a shell suit and spread my legs for anyone !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe he thought it wasn't going anywhere. One non-play meet first is fair enough I suppose but two?

Wasn't giving advice, was expressing my OPINION. Which I readily admit will differ from a lot of other opinions. That's what happens in forums, everyone says it as THEY see it. When you put up a post, not everybody will agree with your point of _iew. Not even couples. I do spread my legs for the person who turns up for the meet, that's why I'm here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You are just pissed off because he is shagging someone else. Signs of possessiveness already and you haven't even shagged him yet"

I think you will find the about quote is not an opinion but a statement about my character !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's probably a bonus that contact was made at all. A couple of times i've had things planned and suddenly before setting off all the messages just stop. Not even as much as a lame excuse. It happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""You are just pissed off because he is shagging someone else. Signs of possessiveness already and you haven't even shagged him yet"

I think you will find the about quote is not an opinion but a statement about my character !!!"

Opinion - a belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty. Statement - an official account of facts, _iews, or plans. It was an opinion, never said I was right, chill out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

arrogance (usually uncountable; plural arrogances)

The act or habit of arrogating, or making undue claims in an overbearing manner; that species of pride which consists in exorbitant claims of rank, dignity, estimation, or power, or which exalts the worth or importance of the person to an undue degree; proud contempt of others; lordliness; haughtiness; self-assumption; presumption. Closely related to the act of arrogating.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

oh dearie me....

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"arrogance (usually uncountable; plural arrogances)

I read that twice and still don't know what it means.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"arrogance (usually uncountable; plural arrogances)

Arrogating? That's a new one on me. Do I need lube for that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't ask me it came from Wikipedia as I dint have any opinions of my own !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would always honour our original plans. After all, we may be on a swingers site but that doesn't mean the normal rules of common courtesy no longer apply.

If anything, good manners and respect are even more important in this lifestyle as we are dealing with human beings and not pieces of meat.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We would always honour our original plans. After all, we may be on a swingers site but that doesn't mean the normal rules of common courtesy no longer apply.

If anything, good manners and respect are even more important in this lifestyle as we are dealing with human beings and not pieces of meat."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We would always honour our original plans. After all, we may be on a swingers site but that doesn't mean the normal rules of common courtesy no longer apply.

If anything, good manners and respect are even more important in this lifestyle as we are dealing with human beings and not pieces of meat."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had a social meet arranged and then had an offer of a meet to play would you then cancel or postpone the social ? "

That would never happen with us - with so little spare time social meets are not on the agenda

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

"If you had a social meet arranged and then had an offer of a meet to play would you then cancel or postpone the social ?

That would never happen with us - with so little spare time social meets are not on the agenda

Sadly...same here..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I make plans I have very intention of seeing them through so no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good on the guy. He was offered a threesome guaranteed, he took it. He had the decency to contact you and let you know he wouldnt be able to make the social coffee.

I would have done the same thing if i was in his position. Just how many social coffee meets does it take to find out if your compatible btw?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had asked this a couple of years ago I would have thought how rude of him ... now I think good on him, this is a sex site not a lets meet for coffee until I decide I want to shag you site! x

Some people don't _iew it as just.a sex site though that's why honest communication is key

I agree honesty is the way to go.....however people can _iew it as they like but it IS a sex site x"

lets get it clear this is a swinging site not a sex site hence the name of the site, yes swinging includes sex but it also includes social meets and meeting people without sex.

Lets put this another way if you had arranged to go on a night out with a friend only for that friend to wait til the day then call/text/email to say ive got a better offer so im not going out with you but i will go out the next night or later what would you feel like.

I no fine well i would say fuck you it doesnt matter i will find another friend to go out with, therefore why should it be any different on a swingers site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe he thought it wasn't going anywhere. One non-play meet first is fair enough I suppose but two?"

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

I must admit when I first read this I was 70/30 on the blokes side. Now we've heard both sides it's just strengthened his case

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By *lackCherryCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

As a couple where time can be precious if we got offered a guarantee "play" time over a social we would indeed probably go for the guaranteed play time and re arrange the social for later date.

Its fairly harsh but you have to efficiently maximise your time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you had asked this a couple of years ago I would have thought how rude of him ... now I think good on him, this is a sex site not a lets meet for coffee until I decide I want to shag you site! x

Some people don't _iew it as just.a sex site though that's why honest communication is key

I agree honesty is the way to go.....however people can _iew it as they like but it IS a sex site x

lets get it clear this is a swinging site not a sex site hence the name of the site, yes swinging includes sex but it also includes social meets and meeting people without sex.

I no fine well i would say fuck you it doesnt matter i will find another friend to go out with, therefore why should it be any different on a swingers site.

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

"If you had asked this a couple of years ago I would have thought how rude of him ... now I think good on him, this is a sex site not a lets meet for coffee until I decide I want to shag you site! x

Some people don't _iew it as just.a sex site though that's why honest communication is key

I agree honesty is the way to go.....however people can _iew it as they like but it IS a sex site x

lets get it clear this is a swinging site not a sex site hence the name of the site, yes swinging includes sex but it also includes social meets and meeting people without sex.

I no fine well i would say fuck you it doesnt matter i will find another friend to go out with, therefore why should it be any different on a swingers site.

Maybe you as a swinger consider social meets to be part of the site others dont... this is SUPPOSED to be a sex site where people meet up for sex.. if folk want to meet for coffee/drinks first thats up to them HOWEVER how many coffee meets does it take to decide whether you want to play or not???? The bloke got offered a genuine meet for sex, did not just not turn up he messaged telling the truth.

I dont buy the part where the OP says she went out a bought a new dress especially for the coffee meet ...and then there was the part where she says they were looking for a regular FB now its not going to be him ....MAYBE he didnt want a regular FB ....MAYBE he is just on the site for a bit of lighthearted sexual fun.

He told the truth, on this site you are dammed if you do and dammed if you dont.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would stick with the original plan. Had to blow a guy out twice for proper reasons would never do it due to a better offer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is not meant to be a sex site its meant to be a swingers site hence the actual name of the site been fabswingers not fabsex, and with swinging comes socials, meets for sex and meets without sex aswell as a whole host of other things, if you decide to try to use it as a sex site then thats entirely up to you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/11/12 19:14:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" if you decide to try to use it as a sex site then thats entirely up to you."

Some use it as a fifty shades book club, swinging badge collectors society, or the club school-disco set, but guess that's up to them too

Since swinging involves sex rather than 'fraternal fellowship and cupcakes' I suppose taking the sex-site line isn't a bad idea or too far off the line

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Why would it be so unbelievable to buy a new dress for a social ? Surely I was trying to sell myself to him as much as he would have been to me. I am not of the opinion that just cause I am a fem and he his a single male then he would just fuck me with no effort to attract him on my part. We had not mentioned a regular thing to him. I do take on board all the advice and opinions given and appreciate the time people have taken to write them. I think peoples opinions are allways different depending on thier level or experience and thier expectations from this site. Allthought we have been on here a while our experience levels are low and as such are still nervous hence two meets. As I said I don't blame him for choosing fun over a social but that still didnt stop me feeling annoyed. Probably wrongly !!

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

i cant see the problem to be honest .. you were gonna meet him for another cup of coffee and then along came the offer of a threesome .. he was honest enough to tell you that he will be happy enough to have a cup of coffee with you another time.

I think you will struggle to find many guys who would still go for the coffee when there was a offer of a 3some instead

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why would it be so unbelievable to buy a new dress for a social ? Surely I was trying to sell myself to him as much as he would have been to me. I am not of the opinion that just cause I am a fem and he his a single male then he would just fuck me with no effort to attract him on my part. We had not mentioned a regular thing to him. I do take on board all the advice and opinions given and appreciate the time people have taken to write them. I think peoples opinions are allways different depending on thier level or experience and thier expectations from this site. Allthought we have been on here a while our experience levels are low and as such are still nervous hence two meets. As I said I don't blame him for choosing fun over a social but that still didnt stop me feeling annoyed. Probably wrongly !!

Never think that what you feel is wrong. If it's a genuine, honest feeling them it's valid and you have every right to feel it. Peoples opinions will always differ you have acknowledged that but it doesn't mean that your feelings are wrong

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