FabSwingers.com forum: A Guide To Swinging For Single Males

By *ilandlarry OP Couple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

This was posted in the Scotland Forums by a regular member on here by the name of View. It's sound advice and we felt it was being hidden away down there so I've posted it here too for all to see

___________________________________

my advice is......

chat in the room and get to know folks

say hi to all ..... and chat away and get to know folks....

dont hit on every couple or fem the sec they come in.....

dont expect sex within 20 mins.... yu might get some but unlikely...

be different..... stand out in someway

there are hundreds of single guys ..... so be different....

have pics ..... and not cock only ..... many dont like cock pics..... and a guy in pants is attractive lol .. trust me I look at em

be uber respectful to ladies..... treat them as such and not pieces of meat....

I watch everyday when lovely ladies on cam and the faceless wankers come in. and hassle them in whispers.. ask to whisper it is polite to do so....

if a lady is 'new' on the site...... dinna pounce like a pack of baying wolves.... welcome her to the site and let her settle in...... ffs, how scary can it be to have 20+ whispers for sex within a few mins of first entering. the room..

go to socials, lunches and meet folks socially....... they are ideal to get to be known ......

I personally dont write to couples/fems asking for meets .....

having been part of a couple on here, its a volume game with some guys.... they hit every new couple/fem wi same mail content, read every profile, digest information..... write message tailored around what couples/fems are looking for ( not what yu want) ....

and if they say no single guys.... ffs dont write to them .....

dont have a chip on yur shoulder as a single guy...... there are couples looking for single guys out there....

I watch one guy every day ....

he says 'hi , then yu have mail x'.....

then moves to next couple and says 'hi, then yu have mail x 'and guess what.... he moves to next couple and says 'hi..... lol .... yu have mail' x gives a desperate impression and disrectful in the extreme ....

.... expect to travel to meet folks.. many guys expect the fems/couples to travel to them... one guy asked mrs _iew and i to drive to largs from forfar, we had to book a hotel, and he would pop roond for an hour.... 350 miles and hotel cost for us.... and he didna even have a 14inch cock lol ...........

dinna strop if yu dont get a reply...... it goes with the territory..... some will reply others wont.... let it go....

be honest on yur profile.... if yu married, say it ...... folks meet married guys..... again honesty is best policy ....

but most of all........

be nice...

honest.......

respectful to all.......

if yu make a mistake...... apologise

have a laugh......

speak today for a possible meet next week ..... no the next 20 mins cause yu passing the end of the road lol and its yur lunchtime ......

I wish yu well.......... I am a player and I know it and am honest about it .... and this life is great ... when yu go into with your eyes open ......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can we make all guys read this before being accepted lol

xxxx

we can dream

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

View - we applaud you. This ought to be memorised by single guys as swinging 101. Thoroughly excellent thread!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eznhannahCouple
over a year ago

leeds

yup spot on but also add dont just reply to fem in couple, reply to both, hate it when guys do that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yup spot on but also add dont just reply to fem in couple, reply to both, hate it when guys do that "

Couldn't agree more, the men in a couple aren't looking for best mates just acknowledgement they actually do exist.

The not speaking to Mr Mids has cost a lot of single guys the chance to chat with a _iew to meet.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hope it helps..... have fun all xxx

added further 2 no no's on scots thread

1..... huge list of friends and no verifications = pic collector

2..... hasslin for msn details the second conversation starts .... 'says cam wank'

_iew x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and they ask if they are talking to the M or F and if it's the F, start saying Hun and putting X at the end of each msn message. Is that how they behave in a social meet/put...

I say i'm him now, lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to say as a new single male to the site this thread is excellent.

And also reading the couples comments as also given me some sound advice to take away with me so thanks to all.

I am not new to the swinging scene but I must confess I have in the past done some of the NO NO's.

I know school boy error.

However I do try to be polite as possible and show complete respect to all as I have joined this site to make new friends in the first instance.

I don't think I have offended anyone but I apologise if I have.

As regards the chatrooms. I have to say its a nightmare keeping up with all those conversations. But what i have noticed is thanks to the actions of other single males in there It is hard to sometimes get a conversation going.

I am new to the site and like I said above I am here to make new friends. so please if you see me in the rooms say hello.

xxRBxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wish you well m8 and lots of fun on fab, its a great site with fantastic people.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

welcome to fab, wish u lots of luck, taking on the advice already shows u have the right attitude. x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can agree with the comments, especialy the comments about moving on to then next couple of fem.

Personally I don't use mail unless the couple or fem contacts me and I always reply, even if its to say "hi but no thanks"

Quote: But what i have noticed is thanks to the actions of other single males in there It is hard to sometimes get a conversation going.

I have to agree there are lots of wankers no pun intended in the rooms however saying hi to someone isnt going to get you very far.

People find it difficult to speak to people so as a single guy you have to start the conversation, again its the numbers game. As its been said before you have to stand out from the crowd, be respectfull, say hi to couples that means BOTH of them and dont expect single fems to reply to whispers unless they send one. why because there are 20 other guys doing it and talking in the room gets her attention more anyway because you stand out

If I got this wrong can you please reply to say where I went wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for the greeting.

And yeh I have already found most people to be really friendly.

I find honesty is the best policy at all times.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great advice.

I must admit i follow these rules myself and always have done.

In doing so I would like to think that I have made some good friends and not 'pee'ed' anyone off.

In fact it has been commented on by couples and single females that my none threatening approach is more likely to get me the end results we all search for.

Far more likely than the constant show us your tits/pussy etc.

Single Guys ask yourself the following question....would you walk into a bar and approach the 1st woman you saw and say the following...."hi there, you look nice, can i see your tits?".

If the answer is yes, I can only presume that you have a pain fetish or a liking for hospital food.

If you answer no then apply the same thoughtfullness in here, yes some of the ladies are looking to play but still need to be seduced/charmed...plus the chase is much more fun that way too LOL.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

i agree with you ron honesty is the way to go - most who know me know i am same in real life as in room that way if ye cannae stand me in room dinnae bother asking for meets that way no disappointments lol

but as far as single guys go _iew gives the soundest advice hence why he and those who follow it have lots of fun

happy swinging hun xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I forgot to add, if a single guy does happen to arrange a meet with a couple or fem. The best thing to do is turn up or at the worst phone to say you can’t meet the latter is almost as bad as not showing, I know it sound stupid but it’s a major stumbling block. Lots of people do all the hard work, then don’t show, people talk. So if you don’t show for whatever reason then it is unlikely that you are going to get a meet again. Do yourself a favour if you have no intention in meeting don’t bother wasting the couples or fem. time it’s frowned upon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bumps this gud advice back up the list

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ickedWWoman
over a year ago

Chester

Great stuff...

Can we make it a Fab 'Pledge'

and I dont mean the polish you lot b4 you start

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yber pimpMan
over a year ago

durham area

"yup spot on but also add dont just reply to fem in couple, reply to both, hate it when guys do that

Couldn't agree more, the men in a couple aren't looking for best mates just acknowledgement they actually do exist.

The not speaking to Mr Mids has cost a lot of single guys the chance to chat with a _iew to meet."
i fully agree with that sentiment, then please answer why single guys should not get annoyed when couple do not reply to respectful, well thought out messages. you can not have both ways

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yup spot on but also add dont just reply to fem in couple, reply to both, hate it when guys do that

Couldn't agree more, the men in a couple aren't looking for best mates just acknowledgement they actually do exist.

The not speaking to Mr Mids has cost a lot of single guys the chance to chat with a _iew to meet.i fully agree with that sentiment, then please answer why single guys should not get annoyed when couple do not reply to respectful, well thought out messages. you can not have both ways "

Do you reply to all the junk mail that comes through your door every day

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just bumping this up for the next batch of newbies to read xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *artin216Man
over a year ago

Spilsby

read and duly noted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

read what ??? i diina read anything ,,,

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always seems to be a single guys must do this or we are sick of single guys that.

ok, i know that single guys are plentiful and everywhere but all i see is bashing single guys because its the easy thing to do.

i have always been polite to people and yes i do talk to all,in fact one of my best friends is gay and because he is gay doesnt mean i dont want to know him,we are good mates and i have no problem with that.

every meet ive had be it couples,married ladies etc have been made because i was respectful and honest with them.Spoke to them and made myself available to show i was interested and not wasting there time.

And if im honest couples have let me down more the most.and that includes when i have booked the hotel room and travelled.

but we dont see'what couples should do' or a bashing on them do we.

how is anyone suppose to feel confident when on every site you read this sort of bollocks.

people are people and each one of them are different so you can post all the guidelines or advice you want because i think thats trying to get people to think your way or behave just how you want them too.

Maybe you should open up a brain washing center so you can have your way.

but im not changing who i am because youve been let down in the past,prsent or future.

move on nd leave people alone.if someone lets you down take it up with them instead of finding a list to post.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"always seems to be a single guys must do this or we are sick of single guys that.

ok, i know that single guys are plentiful and everywhere but all i see is bashing single guys because its the easy thing to do.

And if im honest couples have let me down more the most.and that includes when i have booked the hotel room and travelled.

but we dont see'what couples should do' or a bashing on them do we.

how is anyone suppose to feel confident when on every site you read this sort of bollocks.

Maybe you should open up a brain washing center so you can have your way.

but im not changing who i am because youve been let down in the past,prsent or future.

move on nd leave people alone.if someone lets you down take it up with them instead of finding a list to post.

"
well said that man ,, in the words of the song " Thats Life "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

View is a single guy who wrote the post to save others falling into the usual pitfalls on this site, he wasn't bashing single guys, just letting others know his observations and how they had worked for him over the years.

There have been other similar posts for single males,females and couples but this is the one that is most frequently read.

It wasn't posted to brainwash, it was written by him as an aid to the eager newbies who rushed in like kids in a candy shop, unthinking and unseeing of the bigger picture.

The poster View is a much loved and very successful swinger, someone many looked up to and attempted to emulate, such was his success.

I personally have never been let down, and have no need to bitch complain or brainwash any to my way of thinking

I'm happy you have been a swinging successful, others are not as fortunate and this guide sometimes helps them understand why..

No offence was ever meant by this post.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I am split on these types of posts... as I think I it is done with the best of intentions... but I can also see where, being a genuine single guy myself, it can be seen as being lectured to and could be seen as bordering on condesending...

at the moment the genuine single guys do stand out, and the arses are still arses..... but what guides like these to is unintentionally do three things....

1) show arses how to get round the system....

2)create loads of mini clones... in showing people that this is the only way to make it work!

3) you just made it harder for the genuine single guys again to stand out..

something I also said is "teach...don't give"

Give a man a fish... feed him for a day!

Teach a man to fish... feed him for life!

those chinese were smart people....

everyone has to create there own style, if it works for them... cool, if it doesn't then it doesn't, back to the drawing board.... whatever happened to good old "trial and error" rather then people being spoonfed what they should or shouldn't do.....

I have been in the scene for years, the advice I give to people is that "you get out what you put in" and "treat people the way you would want to be treated".... its all common sense....

you make the effort to be a genuine person... you'll be rewarded.... if all the effort you put in is 2 lines and a cock sort... you'll get what you deserve...

there is a difference between saying that.. and going thru everything point by point by point, and that is why you do see guys getting riled up..... a lot of genuine guys will see it as being spoken down to....

let people find there own way... if they need advice then point them in the direction of a few.... don't just bump it up for the sake of being bumped....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hear hear!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

let people find there own way... if they need advice then point them in the direction of a few....

that is why this item is in the advice forum. xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to admit I have pointed a few men and couples in the direction of this topic and others like it which seem to have disappeared?!?!?!

If people are going to trial and error sending messages they may just find themselves "blackballed" before they have even really found their way around the site.

I have met some wonderful people from here and other sites who couldnt write something decent about themselves to save their lives (like me

) but after reading something like Views posts they did what I do and ignore the not so great parts and focus on the good.

And lets be perfectly honest the wannabes and timewasters dont read what advice people give anyway so why not give those who want a bit of advice a helping hand??

Shona

x x x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks Shona,

advice was asked for ... I bumped the post for them to read it, and all the other posters comments, they then make up their own mind... they are not or ever will be brainwashed by me.

Laine xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

p.s Fabio... keep the replies original, I read a similar post from you almost word for word two weeks ago, you're not the only one who gets fed up of repetitive posts. xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"p.s Fabio... keep the replies original, I read a similar post from you almost word for word two weeks ago, you're not the only one who gets fed up of repetitive posts. xxx"

Why knock someone for giving their _iews if they are a bit different from urs? After all, lots people put repetitive comments others might not want to continuelly read xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"p.s Fabio... keep the replies original, I read a similar post from you almost word for word two weeks ago, you're not the only one who gets fed up of repetitive posts. xxx"

funny enough... was it not in the exact same type of topic?....so at least I am consistant in my _iew... or am i not suppose to say anything when this type of topic comes around time after time...

what can I say.. damned if you do, damned if you don't....

there are always going to be two _iews when it comes to theses types of thread... it does help if you understand the "other" side of the discussion.... those who have already gone out and done the right things, done the research, and gone about it the right way still then have to go out there put in the extra.....

it's not about defending someone who like I said probably did it with the best of intentions.... it is about all the genuine single guys having to go thru more hoops because it is harder for couples and singles like yourself to work out who is geunine, and those who have read it, and think it is quick and easy way of getting into someone's knickers....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sean,

Just read your profile to see what a good one would be like and it comes across really well.

Thumbs up from me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"p.s Fabio... keep the replies original, I read a similar post from you almost word for word two weeks ago, you're not the only one who gets fed up of repetitive posts. xxx

Why knock someone for giving their _iews if they are a bit different from urs? After all, lots people put repetitive comments others might not want to continuelly read xx"

I wasn't knocking him for what was said, just the way it was said, almost cut and pasted from another post, that's all. Each to their own xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lmao, that's good, on a cut and pasted post

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lmao, that's good, on a cut and pasted post

enjoy the rest of your evening, I was asked for the advice, I pointed the person in the right direction, I don't wish to argue or discuss. I've merely answered as best I can and as personally as I can each individual, it's been a long day for me. Good night xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

_iew is in new york an doesnt give's 2

monkeys happy swinging xxxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondladyWoman
over a year ago

titsville

Bump

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be the singles lord prayer amen

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is about to change profile pic to "not one of cock"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just thought i would bump this up for a bit.. single guys take heed

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just thought i would bump this up for a bit.. single guys take heed

Glad you did. As a newbie myself it's great to hear people's opinions. I don't feel lectured to nor pressed to take anyone's advice. I pick and choose. There are some very good points made on this thread that it would be silly to ignore.

For the most part I do as the OP suggested. Contacting folks with some measure of respect (I have noticed though that humour is a no no. Why is that I wonder...must be my sense of humour...but it is part of me so what can I do). I have made a couple of faux pas (though they didn't seem to me to be at the time) and have apologised for them. I'm thick skinned enough to not take rejections personally, after all what can someone know about you from reading a few lines.

I do try to conduct myself on here as I would in "normal" life but it's a slightly different world to the outside world and it takes a while to find one's way around it.

Not got a cam yet as I don't fancy being a complete voyeur and not be seen myself. It's one for the Christmas list.

Other than that, good thread. Very much worth reading.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

before I am flayed alive by some for possibly patronising them. I wrote this nearly 2 years ago, I would NOT write it today.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yup spot on but also add dont just reply to fem in couple, reply to both, hate it when guys do that "

We are very lucky in that respect as most guys replying to us have replied to us both or through Master.

Great thread as well and some great advice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"before I am flayed alive by some for possibly patronising them. I wrote this nearly 2 years ago, I would NOT write it today.

Once its out there...... its out there!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread

A Guide To Swinging For Single Males - By View