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Deleting friends

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just looking for opinions so if we acted wrongly can avoid doing it again.

We were messaged by a guy who said he liked our profile and pics and sent a friend invite with it which we accepted as he seemed nice. when we looked at his private pics they were full of bareback pics and as we try to avoid people who bareback there was no chance of a meet so we deleted him as a friend. As we were on a phone we were going to message him later on comp to explain why we did so, but in meantime got a message saying we were rude to accept invite and then delete as it was giving false hope and he messaged us but we didn't reply. Did we act rudely ? And should we maybe handle things differently next time ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a friends list doesnt give u automatic fuck status lol...it maybe showed some interest..thats all

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ?

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By *nnyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

One of the great joys of the internet is that's it's wholly unreliable. If I delete someone (as I regularly do on Faceache) and they bitch about it - I blame the net.

If they ask to be re-instated and I don't want to - I blame the net.

Do they believe me? I don't give a monkeys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ? "

unless u get off with him seeing ur hot private pics...then u coulda kept him..otherwise..who cares?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ?

unless u get off with him seeing ur hot private pics...then u coulda kept him..otherwise..who cares?"

We were not asking anyone to care !!! Just constructive advice but thanks Non the less.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ?

unless u get off with him seeing ur hot private pics...then u coulda kept him..otherwise..who cares?

We were not asking anyone to care !!! Just constructive advice but thanks Non the less. "

I wasnt getting at U's lol..I was saying who cares, meaning, there are plenty of others.One deleted friend(lets say internet acquaintance), shouldnt make a dent on either party.

sorry if u misread my post

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ? "

I think his response to you deleting him makes it clear that you have made the right decision,he felt you had given him false hope with a view to meeting him,clearly you won't meet him because of different preferences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

move on and forget.

you dont meet people who bareback so stick to your guns.

your profile! your friends list!

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

We accept friend invites... But if it looks like we are not going to meet.....we delete within a week...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/11/12 07:18:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We accept friend invites... But if it looks like we are not going to meet.....we delete within a week..."

i think thats fair. i get some nasty comments from people when ive removed them from friends list after a while.

here to meet not look at pics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He's probably just pissed he lost access to your private pics...

But seriously the guy sounds an idiot. And more importantly whatever he may think you really do't need to justify yourself to him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One of the great joys of the internet is that's it's wholly unreliable. If I delete someone (as I regularly do on Faceache) and they bitch about it - I blame the net.

If they ask to be re-instated and I don't want to - I blame the net.

Do they believe me? I don't give a monkeys."

Oh I luv this quote person after me own heart lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you did the right thing. Have done exactly the same several times .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As you were going to msg him later maybe you should have done that first then removed him as a friend. Any unreasonable backlash, block him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's your profile and you can do as you see fit with it. No one has the right to get arsey about it. If I'm chatting to someone and they seem ok. I will send an friends invite. As someone put before its not an open invite for sex. I dust my friends list down quite often. Nothing personal just how it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't remember the last time I deleted someone off my list. Mine's pretty short and consists of those i've met, those i'm planning to - and people I chat to regularly.

I'm happy to PM extra friends/private shots to people showing interest rather than adding them too quickly. That way if the mood of any conversation changes or one party loses interest as soon as they've seen what they wanted, then you don't end up with a list full of people you don't chat with/still plan to meet.

In your case - you've done nothing wrong in deleting him and as you were planning to contact to provide an explanation - no guilt to feel. If someone is checking that frequesntly and spotted their removal, prompting them to send a 'why?' message - then it definately seems they had an unrealistic level of expectation.

I wouldn't worry about it at all!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Every so often I go through my friends list and have a cull. Anyone I haven't met or who I don't want to meet again or who has lapsed contact gets unfriended.

But I get more grief from people who ask me if I'll friend them. I've got very stingy with my friends only pics and if they don't have any or only a couple then I won't friend. Imay change my mind after we've met, but I don't see why they should get to perv over me when I don't get to do the same!

I also get a lot of random friend requests, which I often leave on and if u can't sleep I may go for a perv in the wee hours when they're not online and then unfriend them straight away

Don't feel guilty, it's not a right it's a perk. And perks can be taken away again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just looking for opinions so if we acted wrongly can avoid doing it again.

We were messaged by a guy who said he liked our profile and pics and sent a friend invite with it which we accepted as he seemed nice. when we looked at his private pics they were full of bareback pics and as we try to avoid people who bareback there was no chance of a meet so we deleted him as a friend. As we were on a phone we were going to message him later on comp to explain why we did so, but in meantime got a message saying we were rude to accept invite and then delete as it was giving false hope and he messaged us but we didn't reply. Did we act rudely ? And should we maybe handle things differently next time ?"

No, you didn't do anything wrong, and he has a bloody cheek telling you you had been rude. We do exactly the same if, as soon as we see someones private pics, they don't give us the 'comforting feeling' we are looking for.

You can delete friends when YOU want, without giving a reason, and you can block people - again without giving a reason and when YOU want.

Always remember - this is NOT Facebook and the 'friends' system should never be looked on in the same way.

Carry on doing things the way you did - your safety comes first.

Pork

PS we only accept Friend Invites when it is 90% that we are going to meet or have met. We NEVER accept them just because someone 'seems nice'...

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"

PS we only accept Friend Invites when it is 90% that we are going to meet or have met. We NEVER accept them just because someone 'seems nice'..."

Same here. Some get the royal arse that you won't accept them straight off, despite saying in the profile that you only add them after meeting in person. We always say that any pictures they want to see just ask and we'll send them out in messages. It's a swinging site, not feckbook.

Wolf

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't accept friend invites until we've spoken for a bit, I can see how it looks from his point of view as well as yours, and as for people saying the guy sounds like an idiot, he didn't really do anything wrong I reckon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ? "

Nope you did the right thing, we often get friend requests without messages, so we accept when they are offline, perv their pics then delete them. No message first will guarantee that they wont be on our friends list.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ?

Nope you did the right thing, we often get friend requests without messages, so we accept when they are offline, perv their pics then delete them. No message first will guarantee that they wont be on our friends list."

You are missing our the important stage of fabbing a pic so they know you've done it

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By * pool 1Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ?

Nope you did the right thing, we often get friend requests without messages, so we accept when they are offline, perv their pics then delete them. No message first will guarantee that they wont be on our friends list."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ?

Nope you did the right thing, we often get friend requests without messages, so we accept when they are offline, perv their pics then delete them. No message first will guarantee that they wont be on our friends list.

You are missing our the important stage of fabbing a pic so they know you've done it"

As if people ever do that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't accept friend invites until we've spoken for a bit, I can see how it looks from his point of view as well as yours, and as for people saying the guy sounds like an idiot, he didn't really do anything wrong I reckon "

Sorry but I stand by my idiot comment. The guy sent an arsey message for no other reason than a friend request being accepted and then deleted. Apparently that gives false hope? I mean seriously?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Should we have left him as a friend even though having seen more we had no interest ?

Nope you did the right thing, we often get friend requests without messages, so we accept when they are offline, perv their pics then delete them. No message first will guarantee that they wont be on our friends list.

You are missing our the important stage of fabbing a pic so they know you've done it"

Thank you, next time we will

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We don't accept friend invites until we've spoken for a bit, I can see how it looks from his point of view as well as yours, and as for people saying the guy sounds like an idiot, he didn't really do anything wrong I reckon

Sorry but I stand by my idiot comment. The guy sent an arsey message for no other reason than a friend request being accepted and then deleted. Apparently that gives false hope? I mean seriously?

"

As far as he's concerned they've accepted, seen his pics and deleted him, no explanation. Now maybe he sent the message in the heat of the moment but obviously he was pissed off and honestly if it was a single woman instead of a single man I don't think the response would be the same here

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By *ady4ladyWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

If he had told you during conversation that he wouldnt practice 'safe sex' then you would never of accepted him as a friend. How it happened is immaterial ......the point is you do not want to meet him and are not going to converse with him again. So dont worry about if you have upset him or not. Move on have fun and stay safe, and dont change your 'rules' for anyone x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If he had told you during conversation that he wouldnt practice 'safe sex' then you would never of accepted him as a friend. How it happened is immaterial ......the point is you do not want to meet him and are not going to converse with him again. So dont worry about if you have upset him or not. Move on have fun and stay safe, and dont change your 'rules' for anyone x "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We replied to his message when on computer to explain our actions as we thought it only fair. And said it was due to the fact as it states on our profile we only play safe and as a result we do as is our right and preference try to avoid meeting peope who bareback. And no hard feeling and hope he has fun.

The reply was along the lines of... We were wrong to have judged as we got it wrong and he doesn't bareback meets these women were girlfriends( lots of different women in pics) over a period Of a year. So with that all cleared Up do we wanna be friends and meet up oh and I have sent another friend invite !!

We just said after being called rude and given his reaction to a minor thing we think any relationship would now be unattainable. And blocked him. I now think that bareback pics aside we did the right thing as he was defiantly not for us. And lesson learned will head advice and tread more carefully in future before befriending people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The reply was along the lines of... We were wrong to have judged as we got it wrong and he doesn't bareback meets these women were girlfriends( lots of different women in pics) over a period Of a year. "

So... now he's also told you he takes pics of him in action with his girlfriends and posts them on a Swingers site (probably) without their knowledge or permission..? I wouldn't be questioning your actions if I were you...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Lucky escape !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally if I chatted to someone and they added me as a friend I would take that as a sign they are considering meeting me. If they then decided they definitely weren't interested -whether that happened 5 minutes later or a week later- I'd rather they did remove me as a friend because then I'd know they weren't interested any more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you should have done once you had seen his pictures, is to have sent him a message explaining that you don't do bareback and therefore won't be meeting him, remove him from your friends list, then delete and block via his message to you, then you wouldn't have received any abuse. Just remember though that those pictures could have been him with his regular partner and realistically, if his profile didn't say anything about bareback or safe sex, err on the side of caution next time and ask before accepting a friendship request

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