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Advice for couples needed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hello everyone, this is my first post here having lurked, read and commented a few times in the past. I've been bricking it about actually writing a post as I've seen of the comments on the ruder end of the spectrum and it's put me off a bit. But here goes, be gentle

I am a single guy and whilst this site is great I do eventually hope to find myself in a relationship, when that happens I'd quite like it to be with someone with an interest in exploring the swinging swinging scene/community together. I am wondering if anyone met a partner with the express desire to share this world together. Was it something you bought up early doors? How do you even meet someone with those interests? I'm just nervous about bringing it up.

Clearly there will be some sarcasm in the responses and that is fine but if anyone has any advice I'd be eternally grateful. Happy to hear a woman's perspective too as I wonder if anyone here has ever had a new date bring it up and at what point.

Sorry I'm shite at this stuff

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Welcome .

Personally I prefer a person to tell me what their hopes for a future relationship are early on. If we're not compatible I'd rather find out in week two than month or year two

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Welcome .

Personally I prefer a person to tell me what their hopes for a future relationship are early on. If we're not compatible I'd rather find out in week two than month or year two"

This is what I thought, I guess it's just about being confident enough to just come out with it. Also wording matters I expect haha. I don't want it to sound like I just want to get my rocks off when it's actually hopefully a shared experience for her too (if not more)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Welcome .

Personally I prefer a person to tell me what their hopes for a future relationship are early on. If we're not compatible I'd rather find out in week two than month or year two

This is what I thought, I guess it's just about being confident enough to just come out with it. Also wording matters I expect haha. I don't want it to sound like I just want to get my rocks off when it's actually hopefully a shared experience for her too (if not more)"

If you're serious about the lifestyle bring it up as soon as you think a relationship will last longer than a few casual dates. Nothing worse than trying to break that news when things have developed only to find out there's no interest from their side. Better everyone knows everything from the outset and can make up their own minds. Worked for us!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Welcome .

Personally I prefer a person to tell me what their hopes for a future relationship are early on. If we're not compatible I'd rather find out in week two than month or year two

This is what I thought, I guess it's just about being confident enough to just come out with it. Also wording matters I expect haha. I don't want it to sound like I just want to get my rocks off when it's actually hopefully a shared experience for her too (if not more)

If you're serious about the lifestyle bring it up as soon as you think a relationship will last longer than a few casual dates. Nothing worse than trying to break that news when things have developed only to find out there's no interest from their side. Better everyone knows everything from the outset and can make up their own minds. Worked for us! "

Thank you! That seems to be the consensus I've had now. I guess after a few dates I might know enough to know what she might be into. I found myself in a relationship for nine years where I fantasised about Swinging and I'd bring it up but it was too late and we were happy enough so I just out it out of my mind and kept it as a fantasy. I've been single a little while now so I'm going to try and find a lady with a share interest.

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"Hello everyone, this is my first post here having lurked, read and commented a few times in the past. I've been bricking it about actually writing a post as I've seen of the comments on the ruder end of the spectrum and it's put me off a bit. But here goes, be gentle

I am a single guy and whilst this site is great I do eventually hope to find myself in a relationship, when that happens I'd quite like it to be with someone with an interest in exploring the swinging swinging scene/community together. I am wondering if anyone met a partner with the express desire to share this world together. Was it something you bought up early doors? How do you even meet someone with those interests? I'm just nervous about bringing it up.

Clearly there will be some sarcasm in the responses and that is fine but if anyone has any advice I'd be eternally grateful. Happy to hear a woman's perspective too as I wonder if anyone here has ever had a new date bring it up and at what point.

Sorry I'm shite at this stuff "

As with all things swing related, communication and honesty are king.

I probably wouldn't bring it up first date though.

I hope you find what you're looking for, quite a few people on the forums have, so it can happen.

Winston

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hello everyone, this is my first post here having lurked, read and commented a few times in the past. I've been bricking it about actually writing a post as I've seen of the comments on the ruder end of the spectrum and it's put me off a bit. But here goes, be gentle

I am a single guy and whilst this site is great I do eventually hope to find myself in a relationship, when that happens I'd quite like it to be with someone with an interest in exploring the swinging swinging scene/community together. I am wondering if anyone met a partner with the express desire to share this world together. Was it something you bought up early doors? How do you even meet someone with those interests? I'm just nervous about bringing it up.

Clearly there will be some sarcasm in the responses and that is fine but if anyone has any advice I'd be eternally grateful. Happy to hear a woman's perspective too as I wonder if anyone here has ever had a new date bring it up and at what point.

Sorry I'm shite at this stuff

As with all things swing related, communication and honesty are king.

I probably wouldn't bring it up first date though.

I hope you find what you're looking for, quite a few people on the forums have, so it can happen.

Winston "

Thank you Winston, the first date might be a bit too early. Although if I managed to meet a single lady off her that would be easier. How did you two meet if you don't mind me asking?

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By *elkieWoman
over a year ago

Durham

I met my partner at my friendly local swingers club - actually, on his second night there, nearly four years ago.I was one of the first people he played with, we lost touch, got back in touch, built a friendship, formed a support bubble during lockdown and things are just getting better and better.

Go explore the scene solo. You might find someone wonderful, and even if you don’t, you’ll have a lot of fun looking. At least, we certainly have

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I met my partner at a swingers party. We became a couple and had two very hectic years swinging together. Then he decided it wasn't for him any more but we are still good friends

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I met my partner at my friendly local swingers club - actually, on his second night there, nearly four years ago.I was one of the first people he played with, we lost touch, got back in touch, built a friendship, formed a support bubble during lockdown and things are just getting better and better.

Go explore the scene solo. You might find someone wonderful, and even if you don’t, you’ll have a lot of fun looking. At least, we certainly have "

Thank you for that advice. Also a good point. No rush I guess.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I met my partner at a swingers party. We became a couple and had two very hectic years swinging together. Then he decided it wasn't for him any more but we are still good friends"

That all sounds very amicable and grown up! I need to meet people like that! . I guess that's the other thing, you've got to be ready for if a partner changes their mind and accept that or move on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I met my partner at a swingers party. We became a couple and had two very hectic years swinging together. Then he decided it wasn't for him any more but we are still good friends

That all sounds very amicable and grown up! I need to meet people like that! . I guess that's the other thing, you've got to be ready for if a partner changes their mind and accept that or move on. "

If you act amicably and grown up people often respond in kind, if they don't you know they aren't for you

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By *oobyHotwifeWoman
over a year ago

Thurrock

My husband & I discussed threesones on our first date

I definitely think it needs to be discussed early on if it's important to you, there's no point wasting months getting to know someone to then possibly scare them off, it's best to be up front from the start

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I met my partner at a swingers party. We became a couple and had two very hectic years swinging together. Then he decided it wasn't for him any more but we are still good friends

That all sounds very amicable and grown up! I need to meet people like that! . I guess that's the other thing, you've got to be ready for if a partner changes their mind and accept that or move on.

If you act amicably and grown up people often respond in kind, if they don't you know they aren't for you"

Very true

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My husband & I discussed threesones on our first date

I definitely think it needs to be discussed early on if it's important to you, there's no point wasting months getting to know someone to then possibly scare them off, it's best to be up front from the start "

How did you approach that? Sounds great that does.

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By *ets DanceCouple
over a year ago

Brixworth

I met my partner here on Fab.. so luckily we were both fully aware of this side of us although there still has to be discussions on likes, dislikes, desires and fantasies etc as swinging is akin to any spectrum .. there are many shades and these have to be truthfully and openly discussed .

Good luck !

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By *instonandLadyAstorCouple
over a year ago

Not where we seem to be...


"Hello everyone, this is my first post here having lurked, read and commented a few times in the past. I've been bricking it about actually writing a post as I've seen of the comments on the ruder end of the spectrum and it's put me off a bit. But here goes, be gentle

I am a single guy and whilst this site is great I do eventually hope to find myself in a relationship, when that happens I'd quite like it to be with someone with an interest in exploring the swinging swinging scene/community together. I am wondering if anyone met a partner with the express desire to share this world together. Was it something you bought up early doors? How do you even meet someone with those interests? I'm just nervous about bringing it up.

Clearly there will be some sarcasm in the responses and that is fine but if anyone has any advice I'd be eternally grateful. Happy to hear a woman's perspective too as I wonder if anyone here has ever had a new date bring it up and at what point.

Sorry I'm shite at this stuff

As with all things swing related, communication and honesty are king.

I probably wouldn't bring it up first date though.

I hope you find what you're looking for, quite a few people on the forums have, so it can happen.

Winston

Thank you Winston, the first date might be a bit too early. Although if I managed to meet a single lady off her that would be easier. How did you two meet if you don't mind me asking? "

Prior to Covid we'd never met.

A mutual friend set up a chat group to talk football, work, take the piss, share daft jokes and generally help each other through lockdown.

We got chatting, took our chat out of the group, seemed to hit it off straight away.

I mentioned I had cats, Lady Astor invited herself down to see them, and 2 years later here we are.

Winston

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By *ihmMan
over a year ago

West Wales


"Hello everyone, this is my first post here having lurked, read and commented a few times in the past. I've been bricking it about actually writing a post as I've seen of the comments on the ruder end of the spectrum and it's put me off a bit. But here goes, be gentle

I am a single guy and whilst this site is great I do eventually hope to find myself in a relationship, when that happens I'd quite like it to be with someone with an interest in exploring the swinging swinging scene/community together. I am wondering if anyone met a partner with the express desire to share this world together. Was it something you bought up early doors? How do you even meet someone with those interests? I'm just nervous about bringing it up.

Clearly there will be some sarcasm in the responses and that is fine but if anyone has any advice I'd be eternally grateful. Happy to hear a woman's perspective too as I wonder if anyone here has ever had a new date bring it up and at what point.

Sorry I'm shite at this stuff"

The Mrs and I met on a popular fetish site, we never had to have that conversation. We started as we meant to go on! All these years later, here we are scratching around trying to find baby sitters and spare time to get up to anything at all! The flip side of a having a lasting relationship, real life takes over, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bring it up early but make sure she knows that she will alway be the reason you are with her and not the swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Welcome .

Personally I prefer a person to tell me what their hopes for a future relationship are early on. If we're not compatible I'd rather find out in week two than month or year two

This is what I thought, I guess it's just about being confident enough to just come out with it. Also wording matters I expect haha. I don't want it to sound like I just want to get my rocks off when it's actually hopefully a shared experience for her too (if not more)

If you're serious about the lifestyle bring it up as soon as you think a relationship will last longer than a few casual dates. Nothing worse than trying to break that news when things have developed only to find out there's no interest from their side. Better everyone knows everything from the outset and can make up their own minds. Worked for us! "

Very true statement. We met through fab, so lucky we were already both swingers. However, still had to make sure that once in a loving relationship, we were both happy carrying on sharing. And omg, what we thought was intense at the beginning, is even more so now. Being up front and honest early on is definitely the way forward

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By *x cplCouple
over a year ago

North of Oxford

In the early weeks of Roxy's and my relationship we where discussing past relationships and I mentioned i had done group sex mfm etc with my ex's. She asked if I enjoyed and said yeah it's great keeps the excitement in sex. The conversation then went to clubs etc which is when she became curious. After saying she'd like to visit a club we ventured to chams, a little overwhelming and too much Dutch courage for her ended up with us retiring early on that first visit with Roxy more than a little d*unk but assured she was safe in clubs. On a second visit we openly played with each other which she loved and this then resorted into play involving others on further visits. Now we both thoroughly enjoy club visits for social and sex.

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